Book Title: Dark Secrets

Review: Free 

Prologue:

Okay, it was a good start. I liked the first part where you introduced the main character's life in a happy and "in love" kind of way, that parts way for the suspense to build to where something went wrong. My main issue here is your POV switches. So, because you wrote the first part in an "I" narration and told the reader that the MC wasn't there at the truth or dare game, it isn't grammatically correct that it switches to third narration with dialogue. This can't happen because the main character, the "I", couldn't have known what was said because she wasn't there and didn't hear or see it. The POV switches were confusing because I wasn't sure if she was replaying a memory (which she can't because she's not there) or if you're telling the story from a completely different side, and if that's the case it needs to be separated completely from the "I" narration. 

Does that make sense?

I think you've got a good vocabulary, you've got a brilliant vocabulary actually. You're not afraid to play around with difficult words and that speaks a lot for your talent as an author. However, there are grammar issues throughout the chapter. You keep double spacing words from each other in sentences and in dialogue, and some of them aren't correct.

Example:

" Scared? bold bad girl?, don't want to have fun anymore? " he let out a loud nasty laugh. 

Correction: 

"Are you scared bold, bad girl? Don't want to have fun anymore?"

Make sure the speech marks aren't spaced away from the beginning and ending and be careful with the way you word things in dialogue, as it doesn't sound right. 

There are a lot of double spaces in the chapter and I can't cover all of them, so my critique for that would be for you to edit it thoroughly and correct them. I can't teach someone grammar, that has to be something you learn by yourself by experience and research, but your grammar does need editing. It's not a major issue, like it's still readable and clear to understand, but if you want to be a professional writer then I would recommend reading up on it.

For example, things I can point out:

it's = it is 

its = describing something/ belonging to something. 

You've mixed them up a few times.

This sentence - Damn you Rahul ! she cursed silently. 

She's speaking, it's missing speech marks. Correction:

"Damn you, Rahul!" she cursed silently. 

It's grammar like that you need to research and edit. But like I said, it's not major and it comes with experience :)

Now for the plot, it's very suspenseful! As soon as the dare came up that she'll be walking through the woods I thought "not a good idea!" What could be in those woods? A ghost? A monster? A serial killer? 

It is a little cliche with the teenagers playing a game in the middle of the woods and they stumble upon danger, I mean, almost every horror movie is centered around that, so that part isn't original at all, but it depends on the kind of horror plot you're going for. You might have something huge and scary lined up that's never been heard of before, but for me, the situation with the friends is just a little too familiar. Sorry.

For an opening chapter I think it's alright, not perfect, but it can be worked on. I think you did an excellent job at building up the suspense and making it a quick and fast-paced scene of mystery and thrill. Your writing style, like at the beginning, was fantastic! You could really go far with this book and if you made the right edits just so it's a little more clearer then you could really shine as an author. 

Just adjust the POV narrations so that it's more believable and set in stone and add some more detail in there to give it that extra eerie feeling.

Well done and good luck :)

Overall Rating: 5/10

Recommended: Yes