So I've identified as cisgender and agender, in that order.

Guess what

I'm gender-confused again~~

Whenever I start thinking of it again, I always get back to square one:

What is gender?

Are you really classified as a female for femininity, like a soft personality or compassion? No. You're classified as a female for boobs and no penises.

Are you classified as a male for being strong and masculine? No. You're classified as a male for no boobs and a penis.

Gender is used to describe someone's personality ("She's very boyish", "He's very girly", etc) especially in the realm of transgender, queer, and other genders. People change to non-cisgender because they don't feel like their physical gender.

But...

What makes a girl a girl? Being a whore and talking about boys and shizz? Wearing makeup and longing to be skinny? Nope.

What makes a boy a boy? Being shallow and self-indulging, using girls to his advantage? Being a body-builder and wanting to be better than everyone else? Nope.

Gender is used both as a weapon ("You throw like a girl!") and as an everyday way to define yourself. (Signing up for something and it asks for gender)

But isn't that all shallow?

Is identifying as agender a way for me to ignore genders? Should I ignore genders completely and just be confused until I'm older? If I talk to anyone irl, they'll just be like, "lol don't worry you're just in a phase" *glares at Dad*

Here's how I believe the conversation would go:

Me: Dad, I'm confused about my gender

Dad: Oh yeah? Why?

Me: *goes through a ton of explaining*

Dad: lol prob just a phase don't worry about it *pats my head*

See what I mean? Everytime I bring something like gender or sexual orientation up, everyone's just like "lol don't worry you're young and curious you're really straight I just know it" or "Hahah don't worry there were some people like that when I was in school you'll be okay"

Or even "Do you need attention?"

OH

OH YEAH

ANOTHER RANT

This kid at school had the FUCKING AUDACITY to say that EVERYONE who was depressed was faking it for attention. Y'KNOW WHAT KID? FUCK YOU. I HOPE YOUR BALLS ROT AND FALL OFF.

He said something along the lines of, "People just cut to get noticed." and "Everyone acts depressed for attention. No one's really sad."

His balls: *rot and fall off*

Him: Oh shit

LITTLE BITCH, YOUR IGNORANCE MAKES ME WANT TO FUCKING PUMMEL YOU WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER. ANYONE KNOW WHERE I CAN GET SOMEONE TO SHOVE A CHAIR UP HIS ASS