It feels like I've been complaining for too long
But I just gotta say:

I'm extremely confused
Like
Pretty much Inside Out (it's a movie btw)
But remove Joy
And that's how I feel rn

Part of me is sad, for losing a great person
Part of me is disgusted and angry, for hearing some bullshit
Part of me is scared, for hearing about what happened

Lately I haven't been happy
I honestly don't know if I've ever been truely happy
It feels like happiness doesn't exist anymore
It's just confusion, stress, depression, anger
I honestly don't know what to do
I just don't
I'm hopeless, lost

I've been paranoid more than usual
I'm starting to think about running away
To start a new life
To forget about the past
But
I just can't
I just need some guidance on how to forget about everything and start over
I honestly feel like doing things that I promised myself I won't do (I'm not sharing it btw)

I guess pain does make you things that you thought you could never do
But is this all real, or is it just déjà vu?
(If anyone gets this "reference", I'm not a fan of the game)