Song: Not Alone By Red

We walk to the commons area and find a seat in the far corner. He sits so close to me and lets me rest my head on his chest. I snuggle up against him letting him comfort me. I know this isn't good. I shouldn't let him get this close to me. I have a feeling it will end up all wrong and I don't know if I should get this close to him or anyone for that matter. However it feels so good just having someone there to hold me like this.

"I didn't lie; it was one of the scariest moments of my life." I whisper into his chest. Bits and pieces form in my mind. I hate thinking of that night.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." He whispers back. I let a few more tears fall, soaking up his shirt. He doesn't say one word about it.

"It was so dark and cold. I was so freaking scared."

He tightens his arm around me. "Katana, shh...seriously you can tell me another time."

But I wanted him to know that I was not lying. I was not just some girl making shit up to get attention from everyone. "Raine..." I whisher his name and pulled away to look up at him.

He reaches him and wipes the few tears that had already made their way to my chin.

"I don't know what this is happening between us...and...and...if it ever was to amount to anything you need to know eventually."

"Ka..."

"Stop..." I pull away from him completely and prop my one leg all the way on the couch, bringing my knee into my body. I wrap my arms around it and bury my head. I inhale then exhale before looking back up at him. "I'm here because I tried to kill myself." I look down at my wrist. I watch as he looks down towards them. "I made a mistake and one thing lead to another."

"We all make mistakes, that's what makes us human. You are here now getting the help you need."

I close my eyes and fight back more tears that want to come. "I wasn't lying back there. I was left for dead. I was never to make it out alive but I did."

He doesn't say anything. I watch his expression. I watch him look away like he is thinking of the thing that I had said earlier.

"I woke up in the early morning in the middle of a field. It was still dark with only the moonlight to shine my way out. I remember my body trembling because it was so freaking cold, ice cold. I was scared, so scared that I was going to die there and no one would ever know where I was. I forced myself to crawl out. I don't know how long it took but I did it."

"Who would have left you like that?"

"The guy who left me there." I wipe my cheek with the back of my hand. "That mistake I was talking about."

"Was he like a boyfriend or like a one time thing; who was he?"

I shake my head. "No! It wasn't like that. I was somewhere that I should not have been." I look away from him. "It was all over the local news. Did you hear about the recent school shooting the other day?"

"Yeah, we actually watched something about it on the news."

"That was the school that I went to."

"Seriously...wow...that's crazy."

"The boy was Anthony Harper, he lost it because his mom and sister died in a bad fire...his dad is in jail..."

"What does this have to do with you?"

"Everything..."

"He is the one who hurt you?"

I nod my head. "Partly, he left me in the corn field to die. I didn't, he was coming back for me but I had the wreck and my dad made me stay home for the day. If I had been there he would have killed me."

"You really think he would have?"

"I don't think, I know it. Someone posted a clip of him yelling in the hallway for me. He ended up shooting himself."

"That's pretty messed up. It's a good thing you wasn't there that day."

"Yeah..." I snuggle up into his chest to let him comfort me as I whimper. I don't tell him anything else. Only because I don't want him to see me as some kind of tease, a slut as they call it back at home. Just because you prance around in a cheer outfit doesn't make you one.

Well some of the girls are that way but I wasn't. I loved cheer. I loved everything about it and since I had the perfect boyfriend there was no need in me flirting with others. And if people though that is why caused all the shit that went down that night they are so wrong. I never asked for any of it to happen.

That night I take my two pills and whatever they were it knocked me out. I slept all night not being able to recall anything that I dreamed about, hell maybe I didn't even dream anything.

Clara greats me early in the morning and walks with me to the cafeteria. While I go get in line she walks over to where the other nurses are.

Raine jumps in line right behind me. "Good morning."

I turn to look at him and he is smiling ear to ear. I can't help but smile back at him.

"You look like you slept good last night."

"I did. I think, yeah I guess I did." I add a scoop of eggs and grab a few slices of bacon to my tray. I get ready to walk over to the table and he grabs the tray from me without saying a word. We all sit down at the same table. This group doesn't talk too much in the mornings, half of everyone looks half dead I guess getting off whatever meds they are on.

 After we get done eating he takes my tray for me again and then we walk to music class. "So, how is your song coming along?"

"Ehhh."

"Come on it can't be that bad."

"I actually don't even have anything."

"Seriously, you haven't written anything. I saw you writing. Come on you have to have a least have a few words down."

I open up the notebook to reveal my doodles. He looks down at me and shakes his head.

"It's just harder than I thought it would be ok...don't judge me."

"I'm not but what are you going to sing? Everyone has to do a little something."

"I don't know, hopefully by the time he calls on me I will have something." I go sit over by the window while he goes and gets his guitar. I watch as he plays and wonder if he is only playing or if he is actually going to sing along with it.

I play around with words trying to make something out of nothing. Words...they all jumble around in my head and on the paper, nothing even really makes any sense.