Song: Don't get any closer by Bebe Rexha

The next day I wake up and see Raine sleeping on the couch. They messed him up really bad, dried up blood is caked on his face. I find a cloth and a small bucket and knell over by his side and start to clean him up.

He wakes up and with a low groan he says, "What are you doing?"

"Cleaning you up." I take the clothe and wipe off more blood.

He pushes me away. "I'm fine, get the fuck off of me."

"Well you don't look fine; why the hell did you come there?"

"I was looking for you. Why the hell didn't you tell me you quit and started working for that asshole." He sits up moaning over sore muscles and bones.

"Because I knew you would be upset. He offered me a great deal."

He rolls his eyes at me. "And you couldn't say no."

"No! I guess not." I move and sit next to him.

"Are you fucking him?"

"NO! How many times do I have to say it? No...no..NO!" I raise my voice in frustration.

"If nothing is going on then why did he have his dogs beat the shit out of me?"

"You came into his place of business showing out; what did you think was going to happen?"

He stands up and pushes me out of the way to make it to the bathroom. I watch as he practically slams the door and I hear him turn the water on. He cleans up and comes back into the living room. His face is swollen and bruised up pretty bad. "I don't like him. You are going to get hurt working for him."

I let the words sink in, really the only one hurting me us you. I bite my bottom lip before telling him, "That is a chance I will have to take."

He looks over at me. "What is going on? What is happening between us?"

"I don't know but I don't like where we are going. Raine I love you I do but I can't live this way."

"What are you saying; do you want me to leave?"

I shake my head no, then yes. I shrug my shoulders. "Maybe, I...I don't know. I just know that I don't like living like this. I don't like who we have become. I don't like the fights. I don't like you getting so upset over nothing."

"Fine! I will go for now but I will be back. I want this to work. I love you."

"I know you love me and I love you too. I do, I just...we just need time to think about what we want."

I never thought he would actually leave, but I watch as he packs his bags. He tells me that he is going to stay at a friend's house for the week and then we can talk things over. I am use to him not be home anyway. With him working third shift and me going to school and working we really didn't see each other anyway.

Only now all the in-between times are lonely in this apartment. I really miss seeing him. I hope he is finding a way to get better. We text each other at least once during the day to say hi and check up on each other to make sure we are doing fine. I actually have time to do all my homework with no interruptions and I turn in all my assignments at school on time.

Half way through the week I come down with a slight cold. I call into work to let them know that I will not be there. I cuddle up on the couch with a blanket and start to settle down to watch a movie when there is a knock at the door. I get up and look through the peek hole only to see a brown bag staring back at me.

"Who is it?"

"Delivery for Ms. Harlow."

"I didn't order anything."

"Compliments of Mr. Moretti. Ma'am, the soup is getting cold and if you don't take it he will not be happy."

I open the door and the guy hands me the bag.

 "Thank you do I owe you anything?"

"Nope! It's all taken care of." He looks beside him and I have to lean out to see no other than Mr. Moretti standing there.

I smile and gesture for Mr. Moretti to walk in. I shut the door behind him.

"You called out. I hope everything is alright."

"Just a little under the weather, sorry."

"Don't be sorry. You can't help it if you're sick."

"Please have a seat," I tell him and I sit down beside him. I open up the bag and there is a container of soup. I pull it out and set it on the table. "Looks yummy."

"It is, one of my mother's recipes." He opens it up and the aroma takes over the room. "Please eat, you don't want it to get cold."

I go to take a bite and he grabs the spoon from me. "Here let me help you."

"I can do it myself but thanks for the offer." I take the spoon back away from him. "So what brings you here?"

He looks over at me surprisedthat I just grabbedthe spoon from him. I wonder if anyonehas ever told him straightup no before. "Just checking up on you. Wanted to make sure you were alright."

"I'm fine. It was nice of you to think about me."

He lets me finish the soup and he sits back to watch the movie with me. I keep thinking that maybe he should leave but he doesn't budge. I want to ask him to go but then again that might be a little rude. When the movie is off he sits up and looks over at me. "I'm sorry about the other day. It's none of my business how you got the scar. I was just worried about you."

"It's alright. It...it was something that happened over a year ago. I try not to think about those days."

"You know, Mr. Harper got what he deserved, life in prison. But that doesn't help you does it. You still have nightmares about him hurting you."

I nod slowly. I hate hearing that name. "It's not just him, it's everything."

"You don't have to tell me about him. I know what he done. It was wrong, so fucked up; no girl should ever have to go through that. So you tried to take your own life, that's why you have the scars."

I nod again. I mean its obvious, anyone can see the scars and realize what I attempted to do.

"Katana, you are an amazing person. I can't see you hurting yourself like that."

Yeah, so amazing that I almost ended my own life but he didn't know me then. Hell I barely knew myself then. "But I did...I...I...wanted it all to be over. I did things that are unforgivable. I did something really bad and if I hadn't done what I did those kids at my school would still be alive."

"Wait...what? You're talking about the massacre at your school, that boy did that not you."

"He didn't burn his house down. He didn't do that to his family. I did that." I look up at him to catch his expression on his face however he is sitting there looking at me as if I told him I failed a test or something, like what I just said was no big deal. "Anthony knew someone did it but he didn't know who so he came to school and just started shooting people. I was not there. If I had been he would have killed me too."

"But you wasn't there, you can't blame yourself for what he did."

"But I burned the house down with his mom and sister inside. I did that."

"It's nowhere in the report that you did that; they stated that he did it."

"I never told anyone. So no it's not documented."

"So you tried to end your own life by slicing your wrist."

I nod again. Didn't I already confirm that.

"So you go get the help you need and meet this jerk."

I know he is still trying to figure out why I am with Raine. "He was not a jerk at the time and he does really care for me."

"Ok sorry, this not so called jerk, you meet him and thought happy ever after but it's not is it?"

"He is getting better as we speak."

"Really now," he smirks.

"Really he moved out. We are going to take things slow. He is getting better and he will be back." Raine told me he was going back to therapy; he is going to the AA meetings he is getting better for me.

"He is manipulating you but you already know that don't you?"

I don't say anything. What difference does it make it really doesn't even concern him.

"You know once they hit you the first time they will make up excuses to get you back but will do it again and again. The only way out is to actually leave him."

"And where would I go? What would I do, live with you."

He smirks as if he really likes that idea and then he shakes his head no. "Look you don't need a man to help you with anything. You got a good job with great pay and school is paid for. You can do this on your own."

I think about what he says and he is right I can do this on my own, however I will be lonely.