Song: Somewhere I belong By Linkin Park

Anthony:

It's not that I seek her out. Ok maybe I did. I need to explain to her that I did not want anything to happen to her. I never meant for her to get hurt. I have to get it off my chest. I have to make things right with her, with everyone.

I have always been known for the boy with the drunken father. Hell ever since I can remember my dad has been that way. He had gotten worse over the years though. I don't know what happened between my parents but after he beat the living shit out of my mom; she just does whatever he wants, scared shitless of him.

We all are. I remember the first time he kicked the shit out of me. I dropped the damn football at my first game. I was told I was a loser and if I was ever going to make it in the world I couldn't make mistakes. Needless to say, he was there at every practice, every game since I was like seven and yes every mistake I got a beaten for it. You see I have to be the best of the best if I'm going to make it to pro one day.

Dad's punishments were sometimes very brutal. Once when I was ten maybe eleven...hell I can't even remember. I just recall he was so wasted. I tried to think that he thought I was someone else. I tried to make myself believe that my dad would have never hurt me that way. Putting out his cigarettes on my skin, mostly in areas where no one would ever see. And then there was a day we were wrestling in the floor and before I even realized he had me pinned underneath him. He beat the shit out of me. He ripped me open. I can't recall everything but I woke up in my bed still butt naked. Blood was coming out of me. I thought for sure he had killed me then and it was not the last time he took advantage of me.

Over the years he continued to beat the shit out of one of us. On nights that he was having his way with my sister I prayed that he would stay there in her room. I know it sounds horrible to think that way but if he was there with her or my mom, it meant that he was not in my room. God I hated him. When he started bringing girls home it was a relief on all of us. I hated it for whoever he brought home. I didn't want to know what he did to them. I was never involved with any of them, not that way or any way.

However, when my dad was done with them, I had to carry their bodies out to the well and drop them to the bottom and then cover it back up. Sometimes if they were already gone depending on the time of the year he would tell me to leave them in the cornfield because the coyotes will get them and finish them the rest of the way off. I guess we have had at least ten or twelve over the years. I never asked where he found them or who they were.

On the night Ana and her friends came to the house. I tried to get Ricky from her but he stepped in the way. I knew what was going to happen the moment she walked into the damn house, I just didn't have the balls to tell her to run and get the hell out of there. Maybe I was just too chicken shit of my dad. I will never forget seeing her that way. God there was so much blood already that I thought she was already gone. She barely opened her eyes to see me and then I don't know what happened because he was yelling and I panicked. I never imagined that she would have survived that night.

Seeing her at school a few weeks later was a shock. I heard that she was still alive and all, I just didn't realize she would be back at school. It was so hard watching her and then everyone in that god forsaken school talking shit about my family, not just my dad but all of us including me. It was my fault that this happened to her. My fault because I did not stop any of it from happening.

So here I am at this stupid party. It's usually not my thing however since my dad got thrown in jail and he is not there to tell me what to do, I go out and have a few drinks with my buddies.

I didn't think she would be here so when I saw her I just had to talk to her. I have to tell her that I am sorry for all of this. I was shocked that she nodded her head to talk with me. I follow her to the back room.

I find myself begging for her forgiveness even if I know she will never accept it. "Ana, I can explain, just hear me out."

She laughs wickedly, "Explain...explain what?"

"Ana...I never meant for any of this to happen."

"Don't call me Ana," she practically spits in my face. "You are not my friend. You will never be my friend. Friends don't fuck each other over and then leave them to die."

"Ana, sorry, dammit..." She cuts me off.

"Just stop; you knew he would try something. You knew that he would do that to me. How many others were there? I know it wasn't the first time that it happened to someone." She pushes the hell out me, slamming me into the wall. I'm a little  surprised considering how much bigger I am than her.

"Why me? Why me Anthony? Why did you let him do that to me? You knew he was going to...you knew." She reaches up and hits the side of my face with her fist so hard that blood comes out of my nose.

I don't hit her back. "I'm sorry, I tried to stop him."

"Really...when...when Anthony?" She raises her voice again. "When you told him who I was? Your farther despises my dad; when he found out who I really was that's all it took. And you let it happen...you." She hits me several times in the chest. I take it. I let her get it out of her system. "And you...you raped me. Did you enjoy it...did you?" I watch as tears stream her face.

I wish I could explain to her the real truth. It's just that she will never understand my life,  what I have to live with. "No...it's not like that...my dad...dammit you just don't get it. You can't just tell my dad no."

"Maybe you should grow the fuck up and stand up to him." I know that was pretty harshbbut what the hell am I suppose to say to him .

I look down towards the floor. "You are right, I should...I'm trying to apologize. I know it's not enough but I am sorry. Ana I am so very very sorry. Will you ever be able to forgive me." I look up to watch her reaction like I have got to be crazy. She will never forgive me for what I have done to her, hell I don't blame her. No one will ever forgive me for what I have done.

She hits the shit out of me again before walking out the door. I watch as she walks back down the hallway toward the kitchen. As I walk out everyone is staring at me. All eyes are on me and I can't stand the way they are all whispering behind my back.

Katana:

I can't freaking believe him. He thinks I should forgive him, seriously he has got to freaking kidding me. I storm out of the back room and head for the kitchen. I need another drink. As a matter of fact I take Blake's drink and guzzle the whole thing down in one swig.

"You ok baby?" he asks.

I wipe the remanding tears from my face. "I will be fine. You got anything better than this shit." I hold up the empty cup.

"Hell yeah...try this." He hands me something else and when I take a sip it stings going all the way down. "What the hell is that?" I gasp.

"Tequila baby." He smiles back at me. "I have a little something else if you just want to really take the edge off."

"Sure...what you got." He hands me some little pill I don't even bother asking him what it is before placing it in my mouth and then drinking it down with the rest of the tequila.

I dance to another song or two before walking out the door and getting into my car. My vision is not so great at the moment and I feel that I am seeing doubles. I can't believe that I am actually trying to drive my car, my dad is going to kill me. On my home I find myself at Anthony's house. I don't know why I am here but I am.

A feeling comes over me and I don't know what the hell I am thinking. However I get out of the car and stumble to the front of the house. I don't knock. Instead I walk around the back and find the garage. I walk right on in like it is nothing, grabbing the container of gasoline. I carry it to the house and make a nice trail all the way around the house. I light the shit on fire and stand back to watch the flames engulf the house.

I don't bother waiting to see if anyone was inside. I make my way back to my car and laugh. I speed off, swerving in every direction. I have never felt so messed up in my life. I can't focus on the road in front of me. Hell I actually feel like I am going to pass out and that is what I do before everything flashes right before my eyes and I slide into trees that appeared out of nowhere.