Song: I found myself by Anna Clendening

I wake up to bright lights around me. The familiar beeping of machines ring in my ears and I realize I'm in the freaking hospital again. He must have found me in time. Dammit I can't do anything right. I look down and my wrists are bandaged up. I have an IV in my left arm and I go to pull it out. The alarm starts going off on the damn thing. You got to be kidding me.

The door swings open and a nurse comes rushing in. "Oh I wouldn't do that."

"I want to go home. I don't belong here." I spat at her, struggling to get out of the damn bed.

"Katana, I understand but you have to wait till the doctor clears you to go."

"Are you kidding me, then go get him. I want to go home."

So this nurse is not stupid because she calls from my room by pushing the little red button by the bed. "Yes...this is Becky, can you get Doctor Stevens in here, ASAP."

When the door opens again the doctor comes strolling in with a smile, my dad is right behind him and he is not smiling at all. "So how are you feeling, Katana?"

"I'm fine!" I sat a little rudely. "I want to go home."

"It's not that simple," he looks at the chart and back up at me.

"Why not? I'm freaking fine; I want to go home...NOW!!!" I demand.

My dad comes over closer to the bed. His hand finds it's way to my side.  "Katana, you tried to kill yourself. You are not fine. We are going to get you the best help that you need."

"I don't need help." I look at him crossly. "I need to go home."

He turns to look at the doctor. "Can you please excuse me for a minute while I talk with my daughter?"

"Yes sir, just hit the red button if you need anything."

"Thanks." He waits till they all leave and then he comes back over to the bed. "You were lucky that I found you in time. Baby why can't you just talk to me?"

"There is nothing to talk about." I look away. I fight back the tears that are dying to get out.

He holds up the note that I left him. "Really...then why did you write this?" He holds up my hand written letter.

I shake my head no and one tear escapes.

"Katana, I want to help you. I do but you have got to meet me half way here."

I don't say anything because I am trying so hard to hold in the tears and now several start to escape. "Katana...please."

"Dad...you can't help me...no one can. Just drop it."

"I will not drop it. Dammit...do you want to die that bad? Do you want to leave me too?"

"This isn't about you and...and...I'm sorry for everything. Please can we just go home?"

"Sweetheart, I want to take you home but it's not that simple. You need help."

"So send me to the freaking Academy. Go ahead get rid of me. What difference does it make. You don't want me at home and you don't want me to die...what do you want from me!" I yell at him and then wipe the damn tears from my cheek.

He gets up really close to me and grabs my hand. "I want you to get better. This is not like you."

"What does that even mean," I exhale. "Hell you don't even know me?"

"I know you more than you think. I know you are caving inside and if I don't get you the right help you are going to die. I told you before, I'm not planning on you dying."

"Dad!"

"No...stop. I talked to Judge Nelson, we have already made the arrangements. You will be leaving this afternoon to go stay at a health facility. They will be able to help you there."

I will be what? Is he joking with me. "I have to stay there?" I say sadly.

"Just till you get better and then hopefully you will be out of school by then and we can talk about colleges."

"You're sending me away, to a facility. You think I'm crazy."

"No. I think you need help and they will be there to help you."

"What if I don't want to go? I'm eighteen I'm an adult; what if I choose not to go?"

"You have no choice in the matter. You tired to commit suicide. Now you will go and when you are cleared to be released you will come back home...alright."

Sure enough that afternoon he takes me over to the facility. He walks me to the front office and they talk with us about the program. He tells me bye and leans in to hug me. "It's going to be alright sweetheart; they are here to help you get better."

I don't say anything as he leaves me there. I feel like I have been abandoned all over again.

A nurse walks with me down a long hallway and shows me to the room that I will be staying in, Room 215. "My name is Marie...I'm the night nurse on duty. If you need anything please feel free to call me ok. This is your bed. The bathroom is over there. Sorry the rooms are boring; you are not allowed to have anything that may cause self harm."

I just roll my eyes at her. They expect me to sleep here. They have got to be kidding me. When she leaves I walk over to the door to shut it and to my surprise there is not a door.

"Sorry you don't have a door for now. You have to work your way up to a personal room. I will be back in about an hour to take you down to the cafeteria; they will be serving dinner."

I stomp back over to the bed as much as I possibly can...it's kinda hard with a broken leg and these crutches. I throw myself on top, only to feel the stiffness of it. You have got to be kidding me. This is ridiculous. I cry for the next hour.

I hear a light knock at the doorway. "Are you ready to eat a little something?" She says with a sweet voice.

"Not really but I'm sure I'm not allowed to say no," I sneer.

"If you want to get out of here, follow all the rules. I would suggest going and getting a bite to eat."

I force myself up of the bed. I grab my crutches because I still have like another five weeks or so before the cast will be off. I walk with her down the long hallway. I can hear people talking in the cafeteria before we even make it down there. No one looks at me. No one whispers about me, the new girl. I take it this is pretty normal, people come and go. To my surprise there are boys here as well.

"There is the line just help yourself and sit where ever you want; it's all open to everyone."

I try to fix my plate and it's kinda of a pain in the ass while trying to hold on to the crutches and the damn tray. Whoever is behind me bumps in to me because I am taking too long apparently. "Damn...sorry...didn't mean to bump into you," he says. I don't bother looking up.

"It's alright," I huff irritated. "Don't worry about it."

"Do you need help?" He looks at me with a smirk because he sees that I am trying to hold the crutches and the damn tray.

"No I got it but thanks for asking." I go to turn and almost drop the tray. I huff letting out all the air from my lungs.

"Seriously, here let me help you." He grabs the tray from me. "So where are you sitting?"

I shrug my shoulders. "It doesn't matter."

"You are new here uh...well come on sit over here with me and my so called friends."

"But I..." He didn't let me finish as he takes my tray over to a round table with four other people sitting there. "Thanks again." I say as I prop the crutches against the table and sat down beside him.

"Guys...this is the new girl, oh wait I didn't get your name?" He says. I look up at him and he is smiling back at me but it's not the smile that grabs my attention it is his crystal clear blue eyes.

"Uhm...uh...its Ka...tana." I have to blink a few times and look away. Holy shit what is a guy like that doing in a place like this.

"Katana! Awesome name, like the warrior interesting," he says grinning from ear to ear.

"Katana, welcome to the group. This is Alyssa, ReAnn, Jacob, Dylan and I am Raine. It's nice to meet you."

I didn't know what to say, so I just nod my head. I try to eat but I really just don't feel like it. So I play with the potatoes in my plate.

"So...what happened to your leg?" asks ReAnn.

"Oh. I totaled out my car a few weeks ago. I broke a couple of ribs and this..." I point to my face. "is from the broken windshield."

"Damn. What happened; where you speeding?" asks Alyssa.

"Actually...I'm not sure. I had been drinking and I passed out at the wheel. I flipped it twice before landing between trees that crushed it to pieces."

"Damn...that had to be scary."

"I wouldn't know. Like I said I passed out but heard they had to use the Jaws of Life to get me out." I tug on my long sleeves to cover up the bandages. I'm not ready to talk about that to anyone.

When everyone was done eating, Raine picked up my tray and placed it on top of the garbage bin.

"Thanks you didn't have to do that," I tell him.

He turns to me with that grin. "No problem, I really don't mind."

Marie comes back over to me to walk me back to my room. She hands me two tiny pills that apparently will help me sleep. However it still takes me forever to go to sleep and by the time I do I feel like they are waking me up for breakfast.