Sayuri had met up with her father's lawyer and found out the details of his case. The man who had gotten accidentally hit by Jack's gun, had spent his life paralyzed and died just a few months ago. There was no way for them to reduce Jack's sentence, until or unless, the victim's family aborted the case. 

Yet she knew that it was unfair for her to approach them and ask them to do so. That family had suffered due to her father's rash reaction and it was only just if he fulfilled his sentence fairly. She had done her best to find out a way to get her father out but now that she couldn't, she had come to terms with it.

But no matter how hard she tried, Sayuri couldn't forget Jack's last words to her. 

The very thought that her father would say something so painful to her was what she had never expected. Out of all the people, she thought he would understand what it felt like to lose someone you loved dearly and then try to move on while still keeping that loved one alive in your memories.

She had thought that Jack would have done the same for Nuriko. But she had found out the truth now which did sting her quite a lot. To Jack, the bond he had had with Nuriko was nothing more than just a one night stand. He had never really pursued a relationship with her himself, because he was more focused in securing his business via marriage to Janet who was herself the daughter of a CEO of a well reputed firm.

It hurt her to know that her father had never truly loved either of the women he had been with. Not Nuriko and not Janet, the only thing he had loved and cared for was his own success. And that revelation had shaken her up badly as the shadow of doubt lingered over her; what if Jack didn't sincerely love her or Tim either?

She forced the dreadful thoughts away but the horrible feeling didn't subside. Though she still had some belief that Jack cared for Tim, she had almost started to think that it wasn't the same case for her. And the fact that he had said the very words that would harrow up her soul even though he knew all she had been through, somehow strengthened that assumption.

In other words, she was dreadfully shaken and had no idea how to deal with it.

Her phone rang and she glanced at it briefly as a contact lit up on the screen: Grayson. She didn't remember how long it had been ringing though the screen went blank. A second later, another notification glowed up; 10 missed calls, 15 unread messages.

Reluctantly, she picked up her phone and swiped it open, going into the message section.

Sayuri, why are you not picking my call?

Are you angry at me?

God, I'm so sorry, have I done something to offend you? 

Please, please, pick up the phone.

Are you okay?

Hey, if you won't answer, I'll come over right now.

Sayuri!

I don't know what's going on but I'm on my way.

She sighed wearily, of course she hadn't intended to ignore him like that but each time her thoughts flickered towards him, Jack's words would echo in her ears again. And despite herself, she would feel terribly awful and hurt. 

She had never thought that way because she knew that her bond with Ryuu was stronger than anyone else in the world, but now each time she would think that, she would be reminded that maybe in the attempt to move on from her past, she was moving on from him as well.

The doorbell rang twice and a message lit up on her screen: I'm counting till three, if you won't open I'll have to break in.

She typed a reply: Wait. I'm coming.

The bell's ringing stopped immediately. She stood up and made her way to the bathroom first, washing her face with cold water multiple times in order to lessen the red from her eyes. She didn't want him to know that she had been feeling awful because she was aware that it would get him worried.

The second she opened the door, she was engulfed in Richard's loving embrace. She expected him to shower her with a thousand questions but he said nothing, he just held on to her and for the first time ever since she had met him, Sayuri felt as if Richard was terrified.

His head was buried in her neck, his arms wrapped around her and the familiar sense of being safe began to settle around Sayuri. He was still holding on to her when she shut the door and locked it. A while passed like that and neither said a word.

Sayuri's head was throbbing with Jack's accusations even though she wanted to let go of everything and focus only on the moment in the present, yet she found herself unable to do so. When he gently pulled back, she saw that his blue eyes were panic stricken and his face was a mask of worry, "Sayuri, are you alright?"

She couldn't bring herself to answer that question because she didn't know herself whether she was alright or not. She noticed that he was in his police uniform, which meant he had probably rushed to her in the middle of his working hours.

"What's wrong, love?" he gently cupped her face and even though she had splashed her face with cold water, it couldn't hide the fact that she had probably cried as her eyes were slightly red and swollen.

"Nothing. I... I had just gone to sleep, that's all."

It was a lie, he could clearly see that. But he didn't want to pressurize her so he refrained from pressing her to tell him anything. "Oh, of course. How stupid of me, I should have known. But instead, I kept thinking that you were in danger. Damn, for a second, I was downright terrified that you had been abducted."

Deep down though Richard was still terrified. At first he had been afraid that she was in danger but now he was afraid that she had started to relapse and was definitely not feeling well. He couldn't figure out what exactly had triggered those emotions in her again but some way or other, he felt as if it was his fault for not being more caring and observant.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, placing her head back on his chest in an attempt to hide the tears that were threatening to streak down her face, "I should have answered, instead I made you get anxious and you had to rush here in the middle of your working hours."

"Not at all. My shift ended earlier today so I was calling you to see if you were free for the evening." He gently rubbed her back in a soothing gesture, "I had plans of coming over to surprise you but then I remembered that you have a job too so it would be better to ask beforehand."

"I'm sorry."

That kind of behavior from her side was extremely suspicious to Richard. "Hey, don't be. You're not abducted and I'm here with you now, so there's no need to feel sorry for anything."

But he had felt as if something was off with her. Her voice was muted as compared to usual and it seemed as if she was intentionally not letting him look in her eyes. He knew something awful had happened but couldn't ask as he respected her decisions and if she had decided not to tell him anything, he would have to respect that.

"You don't have to go anywhere now, right?"

"Nope, I'm all yours," he replied.

She interlaced her hand with his and led him in to the living room, dropping down on the couch as if exhausted. Richard was getting worried for her by every passing second, but he wanted to give her time. He knew she would eventually open up to him but only if she was certain that he wouldn't judge her.

"I went to see Dad yesterday," she spoke up, "a few days earlier I had asked Tim why Dad was in prison and he told me everything. So I went to see him to confirm that and then I even met his lawyer."

He kept silent encouraging her to resume, his arm gently wrapped around her waist as he held her close.

"I had wanted to find out if there was a way to reduce his sentence. But the lawyer said it wasn't possible unless the victim's family took back the case."

He had no idea where the conversation was going, so far it didn't seem as if it had anything to do with her feeling so awful afterwards. But he let her speak, letting her know that she had his support.

"But... But when the visiting hour was over and I was leaving Dad, he... He said... I don't know if I should even tell you this..."

He spoke, "I won't ever pressurize you to tell me anything. But if you think it will make you feel better to share it with me, then please do."

She looked up at him with slightly dewy eyes, "have I ever told you about Ryuu?"

"No."

"Do you know who he was?"

He gulped because he knew and he couldn't lie to her, "yes."

The answer was a bit surprising to her, but it saved her the trouble of explaining so she resumed nevertheless, "Dad said that by coming closer to you, I was pushing him out of my life. And... It hurt me to hear that. I... I can't even explain how painful it was."

Tears rolled down her cheeks and he immediately wiped them away.

"You mean the world to me, Richard, and I love you but you can not replace Ryuu. You can never take his place because you are you and you have your own special place in my heart. But that doesn't mean I have forgotten him, or I have pushed him out of my life or my heart. I... I can't do that. I just can't do that."

He understood how she was feeling and when she didn't speak up again, he replied, "it's alright. You have a right to remember him and cherish his memories. I can't take that away from you and I don't want you to do that either."

"But Dad... Dad thinks I will end up replacing him. And I don't know why but ever since he said that, I feel terrible. I feel scared that maybe I would end up doing that. And that's unfair to him, to you, to everyone. I just... I don't know what's wrong with me, Richard, but I feel scared because of this."

He thought a while of what would be best to say to her in such a state. Then gently, he pulled her close to him and placed a kiss on her forehead, "you are a very brave woman, Sayuri. I know you'll get through this. And please don't let anyone's words ever bring you down."

"But he's my father. He should have known not to say such a thing to me."

"Of course he should have known," he nodded, "but now that he has said it, I see no reason for you to keep overthinking it. If you want me to give you time and space to figure things out for yourself, all you have to do is ask. I would have no objections, I have said this once and I'll say this again; you can have all the time that you want."

She looked up at him, awed by his sincerity, "I want you to be with me while I figure things out."

"Then it will be as you wish," he replied, "I will always stay by your side."

"Thank you."

He smiled at her, entwining her hand through his as he kissed her upturned palm, "just don't ever keep me hanging for long, okay? I get worried too soon."

A small smile broke onto her face as well, "that won't happen again, promise."

"Good. Now what do you want to have for dinner? Shall we order something or shall I treat you to my excellent cooking skills?"

"Let's cook something together."

"Sounds great." 

***