Just a joke

Me: Mom, I have a boyfriend.
Mom: Does he treat you well?
Me: Yes.

Me: Dad, I have a boyfriend.
Dad: Does he smoke?
Me: No.
Dad: Has he done anything illegal?
Me: No!
Dad: Is he hurting you in a way that you would feel afraid to tell us?
Me: No!!
Dad: Ok.

I am not dating anyone, but this is how the conversation would go down.