Author: miamwrites

Title of Work: Being Eve Summers

Package: Silver Egg Package

Reviewed: Chapters 1-6

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5 out of 5

I love your cover! I think it's really sweet and alludes to the genre, which is very important. I love the font style for the title and appreciate that both the title and your name are legible and large enough for me to see. The colors mesh well together.

3.5 out of 5

The blurb is a little vague. The questions that you pose in the first line don't really connect well to Eve's supposed demons. The mood I get from these questions is that she can't stand being around other people. Has something happened in the past to keep her blocked off from others? I don't think you have to go into a lot of detail, but there should be enough for us to understand the overall conflict, which isn't abundantly clear. Additionally, when she meets Noah, it says that she has the answers to life's questions, though the questions you pose aren't necessarily life questions. I would believe it more if it posed a question that alluded to an experience she had in the past, perhaps someone did something to hurt her and she questions why trust is hard to come by?

Other than that, the first paragraph is good. I just think you need to work more on the "life's questions" portion as there's a bit of a disconnect. This also ties into the final part of your blurb. What is the overarching conflict of the story? Is she learning to trust again? Is she learning to believe in love? It's not immediately clear so it comes across as a bit vague.

I don't understand what the stakes are, what the real conflict is, and what the consequences are if she doesn't succeed in uniting the two races. Think of it along this framework: [character] has to [action A] in order to [resolution].

5 out of 5

I actually liked the opening. I thought it sounded hopeful and I like that we get a sense of Eve's personality with these first few paragraphs. The description isn't overwhelming, or underwhelming, I think you introduce characters in a rather natural way that makes it easy to keep track of who's who. Overall, this is a pretty good opening hook.

10 out of 10

I thought the story was reasonably paced. It was easy to follow along and I don't think there was ever a dull moment since you always bring the story back to Eve's past. I like that because you're reminding the reader of the mystery and helping keep the story on track. 

10 out of 10

After getting through these chapters of your story, I think that the blurb just doesn't do the character justice. She is a very interesting character with so many intricacies, that I wish that it carried over into the blurb. I love the way she thinks about the world, even if it's a bit pessimistic at times. There's something relatable about the her opinions about the world and her hesitance to do music again makes me want to know more about the mystery.

I also think you do a wonderful job of making every voice distinct. Something I've noticed in romance novels, specifically those set in a college setting, characters tend to sound the same and there's little to no distinction between their voices. I like that everyone has their own personality, but you also give a couple of key features of their physical appearance so they are memorable. Overall, really nicely done.

10 out of 10

The way you weave in character descriptions is very effortless. I love that there's a bit of Eve's thoughts about each character that interacts in the space she's in and it's not done in a way that's distracting, but rather adds to the narrative. We get a sense of her personality through this and I appreciate that you don't use purple prose and just go off with adjectives every other word.

In terms of setting description, I think you've also provided enough information for me to be able to visualize the full scene in my mind. I enjoyed the different metaphors and similes you used to embellish character and setting descriptions, so job well done!

10 out of 10

I thought the dialogue sounded very natural and it was easy to follow along with the conversations. Something I've noticed a lot in Wattpad novels is that some tend to forget dialogue tags or they put everything in one block of text, so I appreciate that you added dialogue tags where necessary and balanced it well with the narrative.

10 out of 10

Overall, well-written, with few to no errors. Great job!

10 out of 10

This is a story that I really enjoyed. The characterizations were so real and full of emotion, it was easy to become invested in every character you introduce. Your strengths are your ability to weave descriptions within the narrative so effortlessly that it doesn't distract the reader, but also your ability to create characters with distinct voices. I love how you always go back to Eve's thoughts and document her insecurities in such a scary, yet raw way. Because real life isn't all sunshine and rainbows, so it's nice to see a bit of pessimism in this story.

Something you should consider working on is your blurb. The cover, the blurb, and the opening hook are pieces of a story that Wattpaders look at first in order to determine whether they want to read the story. You have a beautiful cover and a good opening hook, you just need to ensure you're providing the same level of detail to your blurb. Sometimes it helps me to document the major plot points and determine which affects the Eve's fate in the story overall. For example, in my story, Dance of the Dragons, you'll notice that the overall conflict in my blurb is Cai Min's determination to be accepted as the Emperor's mate and the Empress of the nation. This is her end fate, so you can see how it ties into that. There's also some insinuations within the last sentence that there are people standing in her way to achieve these two goals. What is Eve running from? What is she trying to achieve? Go back and review the Blurb section of this review and try to start from there.

You don't have to apply all of my suggestions, but I tried to explain as best I could about what could have been done better. I wish you the best of luck in your writing endeavors!

~ Wera

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