I still think that everything that happened last night was a dream. And for the first minutes of that morning, I actually believed it. Kung hindi ko lang naabutang nag-aalmusal ang buong pamilya ko sa kusina, iisipin kong bumalik na sa normal ang lahat.

Simangot akong naupo sa tabi ni Kuya. I sighed when I saw his red string. It has a faded edge, meaning malayo sa kanya ang soul mate nya. But she's just a few houses away from him. Sina Mama at Papa naman, matibay at kumikinang ang gintong tali, which means na okay sila. Maybe. Cupid didn't get a chance to tell me about the different strings because I kept asking questions and we got sidetracked.

Pero dahil magaling akong manghula, medyo may idea na ako kung ano ang ibig sabihin nila. The gold strings must mean that the couple are soul mates and have already found each other. My parents have that kind of string and they've already been married for 27 years. But what confused me was that Kyle and Gizelle have that same string and yet...they're not married. So does commitment not mean marriage?

"Good morning!"

"Good—" I stopped myself when I realized who it was. Damn it! He went inside the kitchen through the backdoor like a normal person; I actually thought he was human!

"May sinasabi ka?" Antok na tanong ni Kuya. He's not a morning person. Panggabi kasi ang pasok nya sa trabaho. Kaya hirap na hirap sya kapag nandito sa bahay nina Mama dahil required kaming gumising nang maaga para makapagsalo-salo sa agahan. Naglasing pa sya kagabi kaya halatang kulang na kulang sya sa tulog. At dahil minsan lang kaming umuwi, nakakahiya naman kung hindi namin pagbibigyan 'yong kagustuhan nina Mama.

"Sabi ko, good morning, Kuya," palusot ko. Pinandilatan ko naman si Cupid na sumandal sa kitchen counter sa likod ng Papa ko.

He grinned and waved at me.

You're early, I wanted to tell him. Akala ko gabi pa sya pupunta. Tulog pa ang diwa ko ngayon. Pasado alas syete pa lang kasi.

Better start your day early, I heard a male voice. Wait. Was it his voice?

Napamaang ako sa kanya. And then I heard the same voice say hey na may kasama pang pagtawa.

Okay. What just happened? Why do I hear your voice inside my head?

Para makapag-usap tayo kahit maraming tao, sagot niya.

We could have done this earlier! I told him. Hindi ko na sana kinailangan pang lumabas ng reception hall para lang makausap sya.

This wouldn't be possible if you didn't agree to do your mission, he explained. Kaya nang pumayag ka, nagagawa na natin 'to ngayon.

So...ibig sabihin, kagabi...

Cupid shook his head. I can only hear your thoughts when you speak to me directly. I mean, I can breach your private thoughts, if I want to, but I choose not to.

Wow. Salamat ha.

He laughed. God, I wish he couldn't hear how much I like his laughter.

"Hoy." Siniko ako ni Kuya. "Kakain ka ba o tutunganga na lang? Mauubos na 'yong ulam."

Siniko ko sya pabalik. Hindi pa kami natapos doon. Naggantihan kami nang naggantihan hanggang sa mainis si Papa. Tumigil na lang kami nang mapagalitan pareho. And all the while, Cupid was watching, laughing, and coaching me on how to make my elbow jabs more painful.

--

Nang matapos kaming mag-almusal, naiwan ako sa kusina para maghugas ng pinagkainan. Cupid stayed with me so we could talk. I told him about my concern regarding the strings. I also told him about my understanding of the stages of connection. I got most of it right, save for the last bit.

It turns out that commitment does not necessarily mean marriage.

"But marriage is the ultimate sign of commitment, isn't it?" tanong ko. Legal na 'yon e. Kapag kasal ka, you share everything with your other half. That's a huge commitment right there.

"If your heart is connected, then you're already committed," he countered. "Because if marriage would be the symbol of commitment, then paano na lang 'yong mga taong hindi naniniwala sa kasal? Paano 'yong mga taong iba ang kultura? Pa'no 'yong mga taong hindi kayang magpakasal dahil wala silang pera?"

"Okay. Let's say that marriage is not necessary to commit, then what would it take to commit? You just have to get through the five stages, gano'n?" How can one even tell if his heart is committed?

"It may sound so simple, but it's hard to commit your heart to someone, Mina. It's like believing in God even though everyone is telling you that He doesn't exist. Commitment does not only require love, it also needs loyalty and faith, loyalty to your partner, and faith that they will do the same thing. It's when no matter how tempting things get, you will choose to remain looking only at your soul mate. It is accepting that he or she is the only one for you, that you don't need and you don't want anyone else. It is throwing all your what-ifs and what could have been and being content with what you have. Akala mo ba ganoon kadali ang makuntento?"

"You make it sound like committing is settling for what's there instead of looking for something better."

"True," he agreed. "But what if it's already the best at hindi lamang makuntento ang puso ng tao kaya naghahanap siya nang mas higit pa?"

Okay... if he puts it that way, then I couldn't argue with that. "But how can anyone know if what they have is already the best? Hindi ba parang nasa perspective na 'yon ng tao?"

"They'll know. If it's the right person and the right time, then everything will feel right. You were given the gut feeling to see the signs and cues from the universe. If humans don't ignore their instincts, then they will be fine."

I fell silent for a while. Nag-isip muna ako ng magandang tanong na ibabato ko sa kanya. At sa pag-iisip ko, bigla kong naalala 'yong string na nakita ko kay Tita Flora.

"Pa'no kung may gold string nga 'yong tao pero itim naman 'yong dulo?"

"Their soul mate is dead," mabilis niyang sagot.

"Oh...e, pa'no 'yon?"

"Their soul will still ascend but would wait for the other half for it to become whole. And once they become whole, a new angel will be born."

And that angel will fight the never-ending war. Okay. Got it. "Paano naman kapag hindi pa ginto 'yong tali pero itim na 'yong dulo?"

"Then they won't meet in this lifetime."

Tumango-tango ako. "Ang tao ba, kapag namatay, nari-reincarnate din bilang tao?"

"No."

What?! "So pwedeng tao ako ngayon tapos manok na sa next life?"

He chuckled. "Yeah."

"Paano na 'yong free will?"

"Animals rely on their instincts. That's how they were designed, so if you become an animal, you will think like one."

"Akala ko pa naman, next to perfect na ang tao dahil 'yong kaluluwa nya, kalahati ng kaluluwa ng anghel. Hindi ba dapat strictly to humans lang ang kaluluwa nila?"

"All beings are important, Mina, whether they can think on their own or not. Sabi ko naman sa 'yo, di ba? Life is a cycle, a really big cycle. Everyone has a part to play, from the smallest bug to the tallest person in the world."

Nakakatuwang isipin na may nilalang na kagaya nya na kayang ipaintindi sa 'kin 'yong mga bagay na hindi ko maintindihan dati. Kagaya nang pagtataka ko kung bakit 'yong ibang hayop, mukhang tao. May ibang hayop na parang tao kung kumilos. May similarities. At may mga tao rin namang asal hayop.

Dahil sa pakikipagkwentuhan ko sa kanya ay hindi na ako nakausad sa paghuhugas ng pinggan. Minadali ko iyon nang bumalik si Mama at napagalitan ako dahil ang tagal-tagal ko raw sa harap ng lababo.

Pagkatapos kong maghugas, pumunta ako sa terrace ng kwarto ko para tumambay doon.

And while Cupid continued with his lecture, I took out my laptop to take some notes. Magagamit ko kasi sa story ang mga pinag-uusapan namin. I've always loved writing. Kahit noong bata pa lamang ako. 'Yong mga napag-uusapan namin ngayon, ini-imagine ko lang dati.

Some of my theories were downright ridiculous so I didn't really believe in them. But that doesn't mean that I can't write about them to make someone else believe.

Ngayong nakilala ko si Cupid, parang nag-make sense ang mga bagay na hindi ko maipaliwanag noon.

"May tanong ka pa?" tanong niya.

"Marami," agad kong sagot. "Balik tayo sa amare. I noticed that you shaped it into an arrow. Trademark mo ba 'yon?"

He nodded. "Yes."

"Pero bakit ganyan ang getup mo? Bakit hindi ka naka-damit na parang Greek guy? And since nasa usaping Greek naman na tayo, itatanong ko na rin...isn't Cupid a Greek God? Do'n mo ba nakuha ang pangalan mo?"

"First of all, Cupid is not a Greek name, it's Roman. The Greek counterpart is Eros. And secondly, why would I dress in a chiton costume when everything around me is modern already?"

Napa-okay na lang ako sa pagtatama nya sa mali ko. Eros, Cupid, pareho rin lang naman sila ng nire-represent kasi ginaya lang naman ng Romans sa Greek ang idea ng gods and goddesses. Pero may point naman sya sa pananamit. Although...why would it matter when no one can see him? "What's the point of looking good when no one can see you?" I couldn't help but ask.

"But...you can see me," he said with a smile.

I didn't know how to respond to that. So is he dressing up for me or is he just pulling my leg to see how I would react? Hindi ko alam. Naturally, I had to change the topic before things became awkward. I don't know how to flirt back.

"Is Cupid your real name?"

He shook his head. "No. It's the name that I chose to use while I'm here because Cupid is the popular name for the God of Love."

"What is your name then?"

"Only angels are allowed to know the real names of other angels."

Sumimangot ako. May elitism din pala sa kanila. "How about your appearance? Is that really how you look?"

Umiling siyang muli. "This is merely my human representation. I can't show you what I really look like because it will be bad for your eyes."

"You look that bad?" I joked.

He grinned. "No. I look that good."

"Narcissist." In fairness naman sa kanya, justifiable naman ang pagiging GGSS nya. He's cute and he knows it and he's flaunting it every chance he gets. But I need to go back to the matter at hand because his cuteness won't help me fulfill my mission.

"Can you show me how you trigger the connection?"

"All right. Let's go."

"Now?" Hindi pa ako naliligo. Hindi pa ako nagtu-toothbrush. Ayaw ko sanang sumama pero...baka naman magti-teleport kami? Baka magdi-disintergrate din ako kagaya nang nangyari sa kanya kagabi! Exciting!

"Yes. Now." Nadismaya ako nang sabihin niyang maglalakad lang kami. Malapit lang daw ang prospects na pwede nyang gawing sample. I sighed and followed him outside. Makulimlim sa labas pero hindi pa naman mukhang uulan. Nevertheless, I still brought my umbrella, just in case.

Nagpunta kami ni Cupid sa plaza. May katabi iyong covered court kung saan may mga naglalaro ng basketball. Mukhang mga teenager ang naglalaro. May ganitong eksena araw-araw. Sanay na ang mga tao. Pero kakaiba ngayon dahil magaling ang mga naglalaro. Ang dami tuloy nanunuod.

Tumabi ako sa mga nakapanuod sa gilid. Nandito sila? I mentally asked Cupid.

Yep.

I looked around to see the possible prospects. Kung hindi ko titingnan ang mga tali sa kamay ng mga tao rito, aminado akong sa maganda at gwapo kaagad ako titingin. Because that's how we are conditioned to think, ang maganda ay para sa gwapo at ang gwapo ay para sa maganda. Pero nang bigyan ko ng pansin ang mga tali...nawindang ako sa nakita ko.

As a cute, tall guy was about to shoot the ball, someone from the other team blocked him in mid-air. Naharang nito ang bola. Pero hindi 'yon ang nagpawindang sa 'kin. Naloka ako nang biglang mag-connect ang strings nila!

Hindi ko napigilang mapasigaw. Kunwari na lamang ay sobrang nagalingan ako sa depensa ng lalaki. Pero sa isip ko, Bakla sila?!

Does it bother you?

No, I readily answered. Sa panahon ngayon, halos normal na 'yan. Syempre, depende pa rin sa paniniwala ng mga tao at sa kultura ng bansang tinitirhan nila. Kagaya rito sa Pilipinas...dahil masyadong relihiyoso ang mga tao rito, malakas ang paniniwala nila (hindi ako kasali sa majority) na si Eba ay para kay Adan at si Adan ay para kay Eba lamang. It was just...a little unexpected.

Pareho kasing gwapo ang dalawa. Nakakapanghinayang. Nabawasan na naman ng gwapo sa mundo na available for the taking.

Stay here, Cupid told me. Naglakad siya sa gitna ng court. I know the players couldn't see him, pero walang bumangga sa kanya ni isa. Parang may force field na nag-iiwas sa kanya sa mga tao. I guess he really can't be touched. Hindi ko lang alam kung counted kapag hindi sinasadya.

Nang makarating siya sa kabila ay mabilis siyang nakagawa ng amare. He didn't need to close his eyes, but he did concentrate on his upturned hand. And when the amare came into sight, I felt the familiar pull. Hahakbang na sana ako nang marinig ko ang boses niya sa utak ko.

Stay!

His words felt like shackles, they kept me in place. I stared in a daze as he stretched the liquid substance again and made it into an arrow. Then he willed a bow into existence and placed the arrow there. Everything felt like slow-mo after.

Bumagal ang pagtakbo ng mga manlalaro, parang nag-echo ang dribble ng bola...Nang magtapat muli ang dalawang lalaki, saka ni Cupid pinakawalan ang pana. It went through the first guy. Parang nakalahati ang laki noon nang lumampas iyon sa unang lalaki. And then, the rest of it went into the second guy.

Their connected strings glowed bright red. Nang maging normal na uli ang takbo ng oras ay napatigil ang dalawa sa gitna. They just stood there, gaping at each other, and then someone finally called them out.

Walang may alam sa nangyari kundi kami ni Cupid.

Am I going to help them get through all the stages? tanong ko nang makabalik si Cupid.

Umiling siya. It's too complicated for you, lalo na sa estado ng society na ginagalawan mo.

I know. That's why I asked. Marami pa ring homophobic sa panahon ngayon, na ang tingin sa same-sex relationship ay abomination.

I'll be handling it, he told me.

Ngayon pa lamang ay naaawa na ako sa dalawang lalaki. I can only imagine the judgments that they will face when they choose to come out. I wish people would understand that there's nothing wrong with that. Love is love, after all. It knows no gender.

Cupid nodded. Humans forget the fact that angels don't have genders. So our souls know no boundaries when it comes to love. Kasi bakit nga naman lalagyan ng restriction ang pagmamahal? God's love is universal, so why would we be selfish when it comes to ours?

Unfortunately, the human race is still too young to understand everything. We still have a lot to learn.

But do angels fall in love? I asked.

Tumingin muna siya sa akin nang mataman, na para bang tinatantya kung pwede siyang sumagot o hindi. But in the end, he shook his head and said, No. We don't.