Cupid didn't show up again after I signed the contract. I went back inside the reception hall to join the festivities kahit talagang na-down ako pagkatapos ng speech ni Kyle. Buti na nga lamang at masarap ang handang pagkain.

Also, may napansin din ako nang bumalik ako roon. Hindi ko sya pinansin kanina dahil hindi ko alam kung ano iyon, pero nang makilala ko si Cupid at maipaliwanag niya sa akin ang tungkol sa task ko, saka ko naintindihan kung ano ang purpose ng mga tali na nakikita ko.

Among the five pairs of people that I have to help get through the five stages of connection, one pair stuck out like a sore thumb. Sic and Je.

At nang matabihan ko sila at makitang magkadugtong ang mga tali nila, that's when I was able to put things into perspective. But...I still need Cupid to confirm my assumptions.

My mom and I went home after the bride and groom left. Naiwan sina Je at Sic, makikipag-inom pa raw sila sa mga kaibigan at kamag-anak namin. Si papa naman, kausap pa ng mga matatanda.

Nang makauwi kami ng bahay ni Mama, umakyat na kaagad ako sa kwarto para magbihis.

Pagkatapos kong magbihis, pupunta sana ako sa kusina para uminom ng tubig, pero pagkabukas ko ng pinto, napatalon ako sa gulat nang makitang nakatayo sa labas si Cupid. Nakataas ang isa nitong kamay, akmang kakatok.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed. "How did you get in?!"

Cupid sighed as if he was tired of hearing that question. He pointed to himself and said, "Angel of love, remember?"

"So? Wala ka nang respeto sa privacy, gano'n?"

"I didn't mean that. Pero tingin mo, kung kumatok ako, may makakarinig ba? May magbubukas ba ng pinto?"

"So they can't hear you too?"

"No." He motioned me to step aside. I didn't budge. "Let me in, please. Kapag may nakakita sa 'yong nakikipag-usap ka sa hangin, mapapagkamalan kang baliw."

Good point. Tumabi ako. "Don't do anything stupid."

He chuckled. "Don't worry. I don't wish to die."

I didn't know what he meant by that. Lito ko siyang sinundan. He was looking at the sticky notes on the wall, just above my writing space. Nandoon 'yong mga linya o scenes na gagamitin ko sa kwento. Napakarami nila dahil maya't mayang may dumarating na idea sa 'kin.

"It's a bit messy in here," he told me.

"Wow. Sorry, ha. Nakakahiya naman sa 'yo," I said sarcastically. "I didn't ask you to come here," I reminded him.

Cupid simply shrugged. He waved his hand and the scattered clothes on my bed flew to the floor. Naupo siya sa gilid ng kama at tinapik ang espasyo sa tapat niya.

"Gusto mo talagang napipilitan, ano?" tanong niya nang hindi ako kumibo. "Don't worry, Mina. I can't touch you. I literally can't. It will be painful for me."

Lalong nagsalubong ang mga kilay ko. "Bakit naman?"

"Because that's the rule. No physical contact."

Feeling a little skeptical, lumapit ako sa kanya para subukan ang sinasabi nya. He quickly got up and scrambled away from me.

"I'm serious!" he declared, annoyed.

I raised my hands. "Okay. Naninigurado lang ako."

Naupo ako sa kama. He cautiously approached. Now, it's his turn to tell me not to try anything stupid. Nang magkasundo kaming magsiseryoso na kaming pareho, naupo na rin siya sa tapat ko.

"I'm going to tell you everything you need to know, but you have to promise to listen and to keep an open mind."

"Okay. I promise."

Huminga siya nang malalim. "Okay." He flicked his hand and a glowing red string appeared between us. Lumulutang lamang iyon sa gitna. "This is the string of fate. It connects two soul mates together. Lahat ng tao, may ganito."

Napatingin ako sa sarili kong mga kamay.

"Maliban sa 'yo," dugtong niya.

"Bakit? Wala akong soul mate?"

"Meron, pero dahil may misyon ka, wala muna sa ngayon. After one year, you'll get your string back. But if you don't finish your task within the given time, you'll be miserable forever. And trust me when I say this, Mina. Forever is a really long time. You wouldn't want to spend it alone."

"Bakit naman may parusa pa? I didn't ask for this. Hindi ba kayo makahahanap ng ibang gagawa ng task na 'yan kung sakaling umayaw ako?"

"I told you, Mina. You weren't chosen at random. May dahilan kung bakit ikaw ang napili."

"At ano naman 'yon?"

Umiling siya. "I can't tell you yet."

I groaned. "Nakaka-frustrate ka, alam mo 'yon? You told me that I could ask you anything, but you keep on dodging my questions!"

"I'm sorry, Mina. There are simply some questions that I'm not allowed to answer. Doing so would be disobeying His will. Kapag sumuway ako, baka pagbawalan na akong tumulong sa 'yo. And I don't think you'll survive without my help."

I sighed exasperatedly. "Okay. Fine. So...you were saying na may soul mate ang bawat tao, di ba? And I'm assuming na hindi lahat, nagkakatuluyan sa isang lifetime."

He nodded. "Yes."

"But how many lifetimes does it take for soul mates to connect?"

"There's no definite time. Sometimes it takes just one. Sometimes it takes ten. Depende rin sa pagkakataon at sa tadhana nila."

"And what would happen if they finally connect?" If I remember correctly, he said something about a perfect being. Pero sa pagkakaalam ko, wala namang perfect being.

"They become one. When they die, they will ascend to heaven as one perfect being...angels," he replied.

"Angels? But I thought angels don't die?"

"There is a never-ending battle between good and evil, Mina. And when there's war, there are casualties. When angels die, their souls are split in half and fall on earth to become the souls of humans."

"And then humans search for their souls' other halves?"

Cupid smiled. "Yes. And when they find one another, they will become one, and the angel who died will take back his old form. You see, life is a cycle. And it's not just the earth that is involved in that cycle. The whole universe is."

"And these five stages of connection that you were talking about, what are they?"

"Awareness, realization, acknowledgment, confession, and commitment," he enumerated. "The process won't start if you don't give your prospects a dose of amare."

The five stages seem pretty self-explanatory. Kung titingnan ko ang kahulugan ng limang stage, for sure, alam ko na kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng mga iyon at magkaka-ideya na ako kung ano ang gagawin ko. But the amare thing...I don't think I can do that. Wala naman akong superpowers.

"Saan ba galing ang amare? How do you make it?"

"I am made of that stuff," he said with a grin. "I am literally made out of love."

Ramdam na ramdam ko 'yong narcissism nya no'ng sinabi nya 'yon. Parang bilib na bilib sya sa sarili nya. Maybe he thinks he's special because of that.

"Okay. E, 'di ikaw na," hindi ko napigilang sabihin. "But what about me? I'm pretty sure I'm not made out of that."

"You aren't. You have to pray, then He will grant you the power to make it."

Agad na bumagsak ang mga balikat ko sa sinabi niya. I'm a Roman Catholic, but I don't pray. I rarely go to church. There are some teachings of the church that I don't agree to. I'm a self-proclaimed agnostic. So if he's asking me to pray, then ngayon pa lang, sigurado na akong hindi ko magagawa ang misyon ko.

Tumigil ako sa pagdarasal simula nang magsawa ako sa formulated prayers. I mean, how does God answer to the Hail Marys and Our Fathers? Naipararating ba ng tao ang hinaing niya kapag iyon ang dinarasal niya? Kahit sa confession, sasabihin sa 'yo ng pari na ganito o ganyan ang dadasalin mo. May kasama pa kung ilan. But how can one say to God, 'God, this is what I want to say' , when they're saying something else?

"You look confused," he pointed out.

"I am," pag-amin ko naman. "Hindi ko alam kung anong klaseng dasal ang gagamitin ko."

"There is only one prayer that God heeds, Mina."

"And what kind of prayer is that?"

"A genuine prayer. You don't need superfluous words or fancy phrases. Your prayer only needs to reflect your true feelings, and God will surely listen."

Lalo akong nalito. If that is true, then why doesn't He give deserving people what they ask for, kahit mamanata at maging deboto na ang ilan? Bakit kahit 'yong mga maghapon na kung magdasal, hindi pa rin pinagbibigyan?

"Then why are there unanswered prayers?" I asked Cupid.

"Prayers are answered, but not all of them were answered with a yes. At hindi rin naman lahat ng dasal ay humihingi ng sagot. Ang ibang nagdarasal, nag-aabot lang ng pasasalamat sa Diyos."

Oh...so that is why. Naalala ko tuloy 'yong movie tungkol sa isang tao na naging Diyos nang ilang araw. It must be really cool to have that kind of power in your hands, but with great power comes great responsibility. Ito pa nga lamang misyon ni Cupid, gusto ko nang ayawan, what more kung misyon ng Diyos pa?

I'm sure I'll never be cut out for it.

"Okay...so back to the matter at hand, what do I pray for?"

"Anything."

"Anything? Really? Wala kang suggestion?" Like, help me out here, dude. I'm new at this!

He chuckled and shook his head. "Just close your eyes and concentrate. Pretend that you're talking to your best friend. Tell him about your day, your aspirations in life, your goals, your dreams...anything. Just feel it in your heart. That should be enough."

I still have my doubts, but I nodded and followed his instructions. I closed my eyes and thought of something to say.

Dear God, I started. Napailing ako. It sounds formal, even in my head. So I began with Hey instead. Unang sumagi sa isip ko ang pagkalito ko sa mga bagay na nangyari simula kahapon. I told Him about a strange dream I had last night. Iyong bus...'yong kakaibang liwanag sa langit...'yong baby na hindi ko na narinig ang pag-iyak...I decided to treat it as a dream because who would believe me if I tell them that I already died yesterday? Saka parang hindi naman talaga iyon totoo dahil nandito ako, nakakausap at nakakasama ko ang pamilya ko. I'm alive. And I'm not dreaming because I pinched myself and it hurt!

So, ayun— Napasinghap ako. I knew I spoke in my language, but I was pretty sure I heard a different one come out of my mouth! I listened to myself just to be sure. And I was indeed speaking in tongues!

My eyes flew open. Napanganga ako nang makita ang kulay pink na likidong palutang-lutang sa ibabaw ng kamay ko. It was so pale!

"W-What...is this?!"

"It is an amare," he answered, disappointment written all over his face. "A really dismal one."

"Holy shit!" I exclaimed, still can't believe that I did it. Kahit pa sobrang putla ng nagawa ko. Amare pa rin 'yon!

Argh! I shouldn't have uttered that curse! Putlang-putla na nga ang amare na nagawa ko, agad pa iyong nawala. It fizzled right after I said—

"That's disrespectful, Mina."

I pursed my lips. "Sorry."

Bumuntong-hininga siya. "I guess I should let it pass given that this was your first time, but don't do it again, okay?"

Tumango ako.

"Anyway, is there anything else that you want to know?"

I shook my head. "Pwede bang hayaan ko munang mag-sink in ang mga nangyari at nalaman ko ngayong gabi?"

Cupid gave me a gentle smile. "All right. I'll let you rest for now."

Napatayo rin ako nang tumayo siya dahil bigla akong kinatok ni mama.

"Anak, may kasama ka ba dyan?" tanong nito.

Nagkatinginan kami ni Cupid. "W-Wala po!"

"Ano 'yan, nagsasalita ka lang mag-isa?"

Cupid laughed when I rolled my eyes. Good thing he has a nice laugh, parang tunog ng maliit na bell. Hindi ko alam kung bakit biglang pumasok sa utak ko ang image ni Tinkerbell na tumatawa. His laughter didn't sound like that but it sounded similar.

I shook my head. I always get distracted!

"Nagbabasa ako nang malakas, Ma!" dahilan ko. Buti na lang naisipan kong i-lock ang pinto kanina.

"Ah. Okay. Matulog ka na."

"Opo!"

Nang makaalis si Mama ay saka muling nagsalita si Cupid.

"Well, I better get going," paalam niya. "I'll be back tomorrow. I still have so much to tell you."

"Okay."

He gave me another playful smile. "Good night, Mina."

A rush of tiny red flickers came from outside. Pumasok ang mga iyon mula sa bintana at pinaligiran si Cupid. He slowly disintegrated in front of my eyes and was carried away by the wind. I was left there, standing like an idiot, with my mouth hanging open.