3rd~

    If you're reading this then I'm most likely gone. Sorry you had to see this. A little boy hanging from the ceiling with little to no emotion. I bet...I bet I made it all worst again. Your day...your life...your everything. I was honestly just there. A waste of space. I didn't want my life to end like this though. I wanted to live to the fullest. I wanted to make everyone proud of me. For all attention to be on me just for once. Only once.

    I wanted to get a small house by some random lake with a dog and a spouse. Since I'm gay a husband. Adopt kids and live life as a small family. But just like everything else I do/did I failed. I failed to keep myself happy. I failed to be healthy. I failed to keep a smile on those around me. I failed. I failed. I failed. I failed everyone.

   Especially Karma. He was the one who I envisioned in my future. I wish I could've stayed strong and fought on for him....

    I was doing it for him. But.

    I couldn't take it anymore. The tears, the sleepless nights, the constant voice in my head, the razor piercing through my skin, the way body wouldn't allow me to eat, The throwing up after I forced myself to eat. I need it to end.

   I want it to end.

   If you're reading this somehow Mom I love you. I will always love you. Even though you've made wrong decisions in the past you found the broken pieces and placed it back together, fixing yourself. You've found yourself. That's something I couldn't do. It's something I wish I could do. Please. Once I leave forget me. Forget about me and get the girl of your dreams. Become the happy little family you wanted. Think of me as a practice and her as the real deal.

  But if the police is reading this. I'm just a lost cause. Forget about me too. It's just another teenager who was too weak to move on.

If Karma is reading this...Oh dear god I'm so sorry. I didn't want you to see me like this. I didn't want you to worry over a piece of trash like me. Please move on don't let this affect you. I'll miss everything we've gone through. I'll miss it all. Your stupid laugh and jokes. The way you'd drag me off so we can skip class. The times you'd pay for the snacks even though I protested. I truly was happy. But that couldn't help the growing monster in me yelling at me to just crawl up and die. I tried to be happy around you and it seemed possible but I can't no more. I will always love you. I'll never ever stop loving you ok? So please don't mourn over my dead body and just remember the times when I wasn't hanging from a ceiling.

Now that I've cleared that up. I also wanted to say to my fellow classmates who I haven't seen in months. Forget about me and move on. Don't feel bad that you couldn't do anything to prevent this. It was going to happen sooner or later... I'll miss everyone...just

Forget me

From your old friend,

        Nagisa.

    The bluenette stood up from his desk, tears falling down his face. With a rope in hand, he swung it over his ceiling fan. The other end came down allowing Nagisa to tie a stable knot.  He pulled over his desk chair and placed it right underneath the the rope.

     Nagisa folded the letter and placed it right beside the chair. He lifted one shaky leg before lifting the other. His head soon when through the hole as the rope draped over his shoulders. He took his final breath before kicking his chair down and feeling the rope tighten around his neck.

     He thrashed around feeling the tears sting down his cheeks, feeling it get harder to breath. Until...

  Silence rang across the house.

   About an hour later Karma came into the silent house searching for his lover. He gently called his name but sadly got no response. He made his was to their room and saw something he never wanted to see. Tears stained his cheeks as he fell to the floor, screaming.

A:N

I wanted some angst....

I'll make a fluffy chapter soon :)

Words: 749

Published: 4/17/19