The throbbing in my head wakes me and even though the light in the room is fairly dim, it forces me to shut my eyes the second they open. I don't want to be awake. It's way too early for that, after the late night I had. I shift to face Harry to snuggle into him and go back to sleep. 

It doesn't take long for me to realize through the pounding in my head, that I'm definitely not snuggling up with Harry. The object is far too squishy to be Harry, and I slowly open my eyes, to see that I am in fact, just holding onto the pillow his head was surely laying on last night.

He was here, wasn't he?

He was. There's no way in hell I could forget what happened between us.

He was so gentle with me, compared to what I'm used to. How he smoothly slid his hand over my breasts and down my body softly, as he kissed my neck. It was like he was savoring every moment, like he didn't want to rush what was happening, and made sure that I was okay with everything that he was thinking before doing anything I might disapprove of.

No words could describe how he made me feel. The way goosebumps rose on my skin with his need to touch my entire body. How I felt cold and hot all at the same time, in the best way imaginable. No one had ever cared enough to be so considerate of my feelings. I was so used to wanting situations like that to be over before they started. But with him, I didn't want it to end. I wanted him to stay close to me, to touch me for as long as he wanted, to make me feel good in ways no one else ever has before.

And although in the moment, he was pleasing me, it was more than obvious that he was enjoying himself just as much as I was. Like waiting for us to be that close, was worth everything that we went through to get there. The way his eyes fixated on mine, so seductively and more attractive than I've ever seen him before, made it all that much more pleasurable.

I allowed myself to be vulnerable. Exposed myself in ways I didn't think I would be able to again. He made me feel comfortable. Made it known that I was the only thing he was thinking about and he was very present in the moment.  He made it seem like I was his whole world, and he had the whole world at his fingertips. And I was his, more so than ever before, playing into the most inviting hands I'd ever known to exist.

What we did together was very small in the grand scheme of things, but the fact that I'm waking up alone, makes it feel much bigger than it actually is. Why, after not talking to each other for so long, would I let him touch me the way he did? I can't believe my stupid drunken self would allow this to happen. I mean, I know why I did, but now that he's disappeared, I'm kind of on the fence about it all.

I groan to myself, as the memories flow through me. Yes, I was drunk, but I was still very aware of everything going on. I wanted things to happen with Harry. That's very clear to me, because I know I would let him do it again if I had the chance.

Where is he? Why isn't he still sleeping, snuggled up to me, the way we fell asleep together? I don't want to regret what we did, knowing how long it's taken me to get comfortable enough to allow myself to be as close to someone as I was with him last night. I don't want to think it was a mistake. There has to be a reasonable explanation as to why he isn't here right now. I can't think of one, but I trust him enough to think that he has one. As much as I hate the feeling I'm stuck with, I wont allow it to take over me. I wont come to conclusions just yet.

I can hear the pitter patter of rain against the window as I get out of bed and make my way over to it to pull the blinds up, and seeing the gloominess of the day makes me wonder if it's some sort of cruel irony that the weather has decided to go along with the reality surrounding me. Just like the outside world looks abandoned in all its dreariness, the same feeling creeps inside of me, tugging at the strings of my heart.

I decide I should probably have a shower and take some aspirin to ease the ache in my head, and hope at the same time, it will dull the pang in my chest. I have so much editing and homework that's due by Wednesday, I don't have time to dwell on things that I'm more than likely over exaggerating in my head. Harry is probably just in his room next door, getting on with his day, since it is almost noon already.

As I'm packing up my stuff to take to the computer lab, Nova walks into the room. "Good morning!" she sings. How can one be so cheery on a day so gloomy? Her expression changes as she looks around the room, from that of a very happy Nova, to a confused one. "Where's Harry?"

"He's not next door?" I ask, slightly taken aback by her question.

"No. I heard some ruffling around this morning, but I think I was still drunk! Opening my eyes made me dizzy," she laughs.

"Oh," I breathe out. "Well, he wasn't here when I woke up." I'm trying my hardest to not show her that I'm feeling any sort of pain towards this. I'm not coming to conclusions until I talk to him. Maybe he's already in the lab? "He's probably already somewhere doing some homework. We do have a lot to do before the holidays start."

"Probably," she agrees. "You guys left pretty early last night! I want the deets!"

I roll my eyes at her, as I put my backpack on. "There's no deets to discuss! Nothing happened." What happened with Harry, stays between us. There's no way I'm discussing anything of the sort with Nova—or anyone for that matter. It's none of anyone's business anyways.

"Oh, that's bullshit and you know it!"

"If you find Harry, can you tell him I'm looking for him?" I ask, ignoring the way she's looking at me, waiting for me to tell her that something finally happened with Harry.

"Yeah, but I know something happened. I saw the way you were dancing last night! You don't need to lie! I'll get it out of you later!" she winks, watching me move towards the door.

I shake my head and roll my eyes at her again. I know that if anything was obvious to Nova, it was definitely anything to do with sex. She could always tell who was going home with who every night from the pub, if things would last between them or if it would just be a one night stand. I couldn't understand why she always thought Harry and I were two people who were supposed to be together, even after all we've went through, but somehow she was right from the beginning, because we always made our way back to each other somehow.

I try to run as fast as I can through the rain to the school, with only the hood from my bulky sweater covering my head. It's a little late to realize I need to invest in an umbrella, seeing as I'm soaked not even twenty feet from the doors I just walked out of. When I see that Harry's car is gone, my feet stop moving and I can't seem to move as I take in the empty parking spot next to mine. The rain, the last thing on my mind. He really is gone. He's not even here. What the fucking hell?

Curiosity gets the better of me as I force myself to move again in the direction of the school. I need to talk to him now. I need to know where he is and why he left before I woke up this morning. The silence between us throughout the week was still very much present last night, with very few words between us, leaving me with questions I should have asked before the fondling was apparently more important than anything else. I wasn't wanting to be that clingy girl who has to know the whereabouts of the guy that I'm—with? Fuck if I know what we are, still. All I know, is that I never wanted to be clingy. But seeing his car gone, apparently makes me feel crazy enough to need some answers right now.

I press Harry's number the second my phone is in my hand, as I uncomfortably throw my hoodie over my head with the other onto the floor of the foyer of the school. I wait impatiently as it rings a few times, until someone answers. The voice on the other end sounds familiar, but because I was waiting for Harry to answer, I can't seem to figure out who it is on the other end saying hello, and my voice is nowhere to be found.

"Hello?" she asks, for the third time.

It's then that I realize who it is, and I come back to my senses. "Nova?" I ask. Great.

"Harry seems to have left his phone in our room. It was hiding in your bed, under this mess of blankets," she tells me.

"Figures," I sigh. "If you see him, tell him I'm in editing, okay?"

"Sure, babe!" she says, before hanging up.

I don't know why the fact that we fooled around last night is making me feel like he owes me an explanation for being gone. If we didn't do anything, would I still be feeling this anxious about it? I doubt it, but I know that as the day passes, and he doesn't show up in the computer lab, the thoughts in my head start to make me wonder if this is how it feels the day after a one night stand. Harry and I didn't even come close to having sex, but we might as well have, the way I'm unable to concentrate on my work and the minutes passing that he doesn't show up, start feeling like hours.

I make my way back to the dorms to change out of my still wet clothes after I've finished all my editing, realizing I'm starving and make a mental note to stop by the cafeteria to get some early dinner before going to the studios to finish up the pictures I need to take for my catalog assignment.

Harry and Niall's room door is open and I look in to see Louis and Liam with Niall and Nova sitting around the tv playing video games. Nova notices me walk passed the open door and before I know it, she's pulling me into the room.

"Harry's stuff is gone!" She shrieks. "His camera equipment and his suitcase! I went through his things and some of his clothes are missing! The only thing he left, is his laptop."

I find myself in shock as I look around the room, hoping that she's lying and his stuff will be where he usually leaves it. I want this to be some kind of sick joke and he'll pop out of the bathroom any second now. I'm being punked. They just want to see my reaction to all of this. But when nothing happens and I realize his things, are in fact, gone, I know he is too, along with everything that he's noticeably taken with him.

"Maybe he went home early?" I don't really know if I'm questioning anyone in particular or if I'm merely just thinking out loud, but I know I could be right. Although it doesn't make sense that he would miss class the last three days before holidays. He's too into being a perfect model student for him to miss any school. "Did he say anything to you?" I ask, when I realize Niall is looking over at us.

He simply shrugs his shoulders. "Don't know where he is, Paisley. Sorry."

I thought for sure on Monday, when I strolled into class with Astrid, that Harry would be there, or at least show up, but to my surprise, I spent the day looking at the empty seat he usually occupied next to me.

"I know you don't want to talk about it, but can I just ask you one thing?" Astrid asks, as we make our way back to the dorms at the end of the day.

I told her this morning I didn't know and it wasn't up for discussion when she asked where Harry was, but I knew something was on her mind all day, that eventually her questions would start again before the day was over. And I was right, because here she is wanting to talk about it and all I can do is sigh.

"Did something happen with you guys on Friday night?" she asks, her wide eyes full of curiosity and concern. 

I'm trying to decide how to answer this question, because yes, something did happen with us on Friday, but I'm going to guess it's not what she's thinking. I've had three days now to think about why he left and where he is and if he's going to have a reasonable explanation for his disappearing act when I see him next, and the new person that I've become, the positive girl inside of me, came to the conclusion that it doesn't have anything to do with me. It doesn't mean that his absence isn't hurting me in any way, because it's definitely had an affect on me. It does hurt that he just up and left without telling me anything, leaving me to wonder what's going on and I just want to know why he didn't have the decency to tell me he was leaving in the first place. But the fact that Astrid has the nerve to ask if something happened with us, makes my head spin.

"It's not really like him to miss class, and he wasn't here all day. It's just weird. And Blake said he was gone all weekend, after I saw you leave together from the pub," she says, when she realizes I'm not going to reply. "I just assumed you guys got in another fight."

"And you think that he left because we're fighting again?" I ask, raising my voice, unable to mask my annoyance. "Give me a break, Astrid. We didn't have a fight. Don't assume that him not being here, has anything to do with me. As if you think it does."

"But you don't even know where he is. He just left without warning. What else was I supposed to think?"

"How about be my friend and tell me that it wasn't me who made him leave?" I ask. My voice cracks at the end, and I all of a sudden hate that I know I've been lying to myself. A fight wasn't the cause of his disappearance. It was how I finally somewhat gave into him. I didn't give him anything in return, but I surely allowed him access to a part of me that I might not have even been ready to give him with a sober mind.

I didn't want to remind myself that Harry was one of those guys who ran after he got what he wanted. I didn't give him as much as he probably was hoping for, but I all of a sudden feel used; like I'm just another one of those girls he hooks up with and leaves the next morning without a care in the world.

"You're right, I'm sorry," Astrid says, rubbing my back, realizing I'm more hurt than I let on. "It wasn't you. I'm sure he has a good reason."

I'm growing tired of this back and forth with him. I know that this whole thing with guys is relatively new to me, but I thought it was supposed to be easier. I don't know why I've allowed myself to keep going back to him after everything. I tried showing him that he held my complete trust. I thought that Friday night was proving to him that I had resolved everything fucked up in my head and I was ready to be with him with no more issues. I trusted him, and he left. And all that I'm left with now, are questions.

A/N: Sorry for the crappy filler chapter. Hope it's still alright. Another early update though! Yay! I promise you, things will pick up in the next chapter! ☺

Any idea where Harry is, or why he left? Leave your theories in the comments!

Thank you thank you thank you!! 8.7K Reads! I know I say this every time I update, but I love you all so so so much for reading my book and for your comments and all your votes! It really does mean the world to me!

Much love,
amberlove
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