Song: Beautiful Girl - Hedley <3

---Harry---

Getting Paisley to trust me has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. There's times when I think I've accomplished this feat and others I feel like I've just scratched the surface. She, for the most part, is all over the place. Her mind goes somewhere else when I want her to just be present with me, and I'm always left with more questions than I want to admit.

Even though she found out about Ruby, she still, for some reason decided to trust me. I thought for sure I would have lost her completely after that, but it's almost as if the whole thing didn't phase her at all, which is kind of surprising. It was kind of a dick move on my part, giving into Ruby's desires, but Paisley's back and forth with me before then, had me squirming. I didn't have a clue what the hell was going through her head or how she felt about me, but the night she practically threw me off of her when I was so close to kissing her, gave me all the more reason to believe she didn't see me the way I wanted her to. And maybe it bruised my ego--just a little. Being with Ruby was my way of trying to forget about Paisley, just for a little while, although it didn't work very well, because no matter what, I was wishing it was her the entire time, every time.

I feel at the moment though, that I have her right where I want her. The last few weeks she's shown me a great deal of trust, although now I know she worries I'm going to go to someone else for sex. I wouldn't dare do that, no matter how much I feel the need for it. Not again. Not after knowing how hard it has been to get her to where we are, and I have a feeling she wouldn't give me a second chance if I did.

When I think back to High School, she was different. She wasn't at all timid or apprehensive around guys, and as I remember, she was always the one to kiss me, initiating our heated make-out sessions that always lead me to wanting more of her. I knew she wasn't a virgin. She lost her virginity to that douchebag Adam, who cheated on her more times than anyone deserves, but she always used the excuse that she wanted to do things right with me, which I thought was because they way Adam hurt her, but apparently that was a load of bullshit.

But now, seeing her act the way she does with me sometimes, is confusing and somewhat unnerving. It shocked me at first; The way she constantly withdrew from my touch like she was afraid of me, but I learned quickly that I had to be cautious with her, and I make sure I am, always. I have no clue as to why, because knowing how she used to be, this is something that I don't understand. And no girl has ever shied away from me over the last two years, making this situation with her something I have never endured and can't comprehend.

I think maybe it's because she hasn't had a boyfriend in so long. She did say that she hadn't been on a date since high school. Maybe she decided after what she did to me, that she needed to take a break from guys, to let what she did to me, sink in. And now everything is all new to her again. Or maybe she just has this unbelievable amount of respect for herself to be overly cautious when it comes to that sort of thing. Fuck if I know. I'm usually pretty damn smart---That is, I'm realizing, until it comes to her.

Today, I admitted to her that I was broken. It just sort of slipped out of my mouth. I'm not exactly sure why I said it, because as broken as I know I've been since the day she broke my heart, I don't exactly feel that way anymore. She fills that void just the same as she did in high school. I need her now, just as I did then. The darkness that turned me into a heartless asshole, was replaced with a feeling I could only ever remember her making me feel.

I'm realizing that over time, I'm forgetting more and more what she did to me. In the beginning, it was always there. That little tinge of anger and pain every time I looked at her was very much present within me. But it's easy to disregard the bad when there are so many good things to remember about her; About us. And as time passes, those unforgettable moments we shared, easily overtake what happened in the end. It's starting to lose it's meaning and I'm letting those negative thoughts and feelings slip away as we become closer. I've turned any negative energy that surrounded me into nothing but positive, because that's what she deserves. What we deserve.

And so tonight, I took her on a drive, stopping to get smoothies and ending up with a view of the Golden Gate Bridge. We had to climb down a huge hill, walk over a mound of giant rocks and walk a little ways down a path to get to where we're seated right now with the lit up bridge in a clear distant view and the sound of the waves hitting the rocks in front of us, but the adventure of us getting here was half the fun I wanted this night to be for her.

I knew that her favorite place was by the ocean, and although this isn't the ocean before us, and it isn't quite like the scene we used to spend a lot of our time at, it feels like we are reliving what we once shared together before. I wanted to commemorate what we used to have. Remind myself that although she's the same girl, she is different, much like our present location, but it's still beautiful all the same, just like her.

Our favorite thing to do together, was stay out all night to sit on the beach at her beloved spot. We would stay until the early hours of the morning, laughing at not having a clue as to what we were saying anymore, talking out of our asses because we were so tired by the time the sun was starting to make its appearance. But my favorite conversations were always had during those hours as we wasted time together. Because wasting time with her and losing sleep just to be with her was always worth it. Every single second of it.

That was my plan for tonight. To just waste time with her here. To talk all night until the sun comes up, to be present with each other with no distractions. No Netflix. No music. No people. Just us. It's something we haven't shared since high school and I couldn't be happier to have this with her again. And so far, it's been exactly how it used to be. Perfect.

"This is really nice, Harry," she says, leaning her body against mine. I take this as my opportunity to put my arm around her and pull her closer to me. She rests her hand on my leg that's stretched out in front of us, and I can't help the smile that appears on my face at her simple touch. "Thank you for bringing me here!"

"It isn't the ocean," I reply. "But--"

"It's just as nice," she interrupts, never taking her eyes off the view in front of us, as if we haven't been looking at the same view for hours already. "It's been a long time since I've done something like this. It's just--nice." I can tell that her mind is wandering somewhere. She has a slight tint of sadness in her features and I can't help but wonder what she's thinking about, just like every time this happens. "It's nice to just do this sometimes, eh? It's a nice reminder that the world isn't all that bad, ya know."

"It's not really the world that's bad," I tell her. "Just the people in it."

She doesn't say anything. She removes her hand from my leg and starts picking at her painted nails as she stares at her hands in her lap. It's in these moments that more questions start to pop up in my head. I never ask them though. The way her body language shifts so easily makes it clear that it's not something that's up for discussion and I don't want to ever make her uncomfortable. I know if it continues, I'll have to ask at some point, but tonight isn't the night for that.

I lay down on my back to look up at the stars. We seem to be in the most perfect spot. We're far enough away from the city lights, that stars fill the night sky. It's not like in Victoria where we were surrounded by stars, but it'll do, for tonight. She doesn't hesitate to lay down next to me, and when she looks up, a smile graces her lips.

"Do you ever miss home?" she asks. "Victoria, I mean."

I try to think quickly, how I want to answer this. I knew I made a mistake telling her that I lived so close to her back then. But I didn't want to lie. I never want to lie to her. And eventually I know she'll find out who I am, which I'm not really sure how she will take that news. But when she does, I want her to know that I have been as honest with her as I can be. "Sometimes," I answer. "I miss the place itself. Not so much the people. I wasn't very popular in high school. I'm happy to be away from there."

She looks at me and lets out a laugh. "I find that hard to believe!"

"Why's that?"

"Because you're pretty popular here. I mean--you're just that guy that everyone likes. You have this aura about you. I don't know. I just can't see it!" She laughs again.

"Do you miss it there?"

"More than anything," she answers. "Life was easy when I lived there. I liked that everything was familiar and comfortable. I'd probably give anything to go back there if I could."

"What would you do first if you did?" I already know what she's going to say, but I ask anyways.

She smiles. "Go back to my place on the beach! And probably swing on the swings at the park that's not far from it!" She looks at me for a moment. She has an excited look on her face, seemingly happy to be thinking back to her favorite place. "I had this one spot on the beach that was mine, where there was this one huge rock and some driftwood. It's where I would go to hide from the world when things seemed out of control or I just wanted to be alone. No one ever knew I went there and I think that's why I liked it so much. It was like--my saving grace, or something. The one place in the world that was mine!" She laughs a shy little laugh. "And now that you know about it, I might just have to kill you!"

Of course I already knew of this place she just explained to me. I had been there before with her. It became our favorite place to go when we were together and I knew how much that spot meant to her before she said anything. After she left Victoria, it became my little piece of land that I would use to go to escape. It truly was a great place, and I understand completely why she would want to go back there again.

"You wouldn't dare to even try!" I joke, turning towards her to pull her into me. Hey eyes widen and she tenses up as I am about to lean in to kiss her and I'm thrown off by her sudden forbearance. Despite my knowing she gets this way from time to time, leaving me to usually back off and let her be, this time, I hold my lips against her temple for a while hoping she relaxes.

When she doesn't, I know I have to think of something quick to make her comfortable again. "Let's dance," I whisper, barely taking my lips away from her skin. This is something we did only once. It was to a song by our favorite band, which back then, was Hedley. We had danced in the sand to a song called Beautiful, as I sang the lyrics along with the song being played on my cell phone. She said it was perfect, that she loved it. And so here, as I have to quickly think of something, this is the moment that pops in my head that I want more than anything to repeat. Except this time, of course, a different song. One that says everything that I can't.

I get to my feet while she stares at me from her spot on the ground. I probably look like a kid on Christmas, overly excited to relive such a beautiful moment of our past, and she looks horrified by my idea.

"Are you crazy?" She asks, sitting up. "I'm not going to dance with you right now!"

I scroll through my songs as she turns down my request, looking for the song I know I want to play for her. I know as soon as she hears who it is, that she wont turn me down and my heart starts to speed up with the buzz I'm feeling about this moment that's about to happen.

She looks at her phone as she stands to her feet. "It's four thirty, we should probably go. It's still a ways back to the car."

She starts to walk away in the direction of the way we came, but when I press play, she stops. I walk to her, grabbing her hand to spin her around to face me. She has a surprised look on her face, a slight smile pulling at her lips as she looks into my eyes. It takes a moment to adjust my thoughts on what I want to do here, because she looks so unbelievably beautiful looking at me the way she is and I just want to kiss her more than I ever have before. But no. Right now, we relive a perfect moment.

When I start to sing along with the song and spin her around, she laughs. Even though a few moments ago, she was denying wanting to do this with me, she gladly moves her body with mine, letting me spin her around a few times, and every time we come back together, our eyes meet and she looks at me, taking in every word I sing to her.

Before the song is even over, I can't contain my need to kiss her anymore. Seeing her face lit up and hearing her laugh the way she does every time I spin her in a circle, has me feeling like a ball of mush, but I wont complain because I have her right where I want her. Where I need her. Exactly the way I want her to be. Happy and completely present with me. There's nothing in the back of her head stealing her away from me and I want nothing more than to keep her this way for as long as I can.

The way she kisses me back tells me that my idea to dance with her was a good one, because she presses her lips so forcefully against mine like she has the need to feel as close to me as she can. It's in this moment that I am one hundred percent sure that she is everything that I've ever wanted, even more so than in high school, and I don't doubt for a second, that I'm exactly what she needs.

I couldn't ask her for more than she's giving me, because I know that she's giving me what she can right now, whatever the reason may be for her hesitance. But I don't want to. I want to make sure that I always do things right with her. She's the only girl in my life that I've ever felt deserved this. She's the only girl I've ever been willing to give my heart to, and I can't help but think that maybe there's a reason for that. Maybe there's a reason we fell apart before. Maybe we did, because this is how everything is supposed to be. Maybe we fell apart so that we could have a chance to fall back together. To have new moments like this after we grew up just a little bit from the teenagers we were the last time, so that we could do things right the second time around.

**

A/N: Finally a Harry POV! Harry POV's are almost always my favorite in any book I read on Wattpad, so getting to write them for mine is something that I love! And I'm really happy to have finally been able to write this one and to finally be at this stage of the book! So I really hope that you like this one!

Make sure you listen to the song posted at the top! It adds to this chapter, so so much! <3

Ahhh! 3K reads! I honestly can't believe it! I can't thank you enough for reading and for voting and commenting and living Harry and Paisley's story along with me! I hope you continue to read and share with your friends, because your support means more to me than you will ever know!

Thanks for making me smile every day!

Where are you from? I want to know where my readers are! I'm just a girl from a small town, in Ontario, Canada! :)

Much love,
amberlove

xo