Karma & Nathan
Three Weeks Before The Breakup
Twelve Years Ago

"What's the matter, gorgeous?"

I looked up in the mirror and met Nathan's gaze in the reflection. He circled my waist with his arms and rested his head on my shoulder. I loved when he held me this way.

"Nothing," I lied. Everything was wrong.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Nice try. Spill."

I fidgeted with the makeup brush I was holding. I was in the middle of getting ready for our date tonight when my crazy mind started wandering.

"You know you can't lie to me, baby," he teased and kissed my neck.

He wasn't wrong. He and I have learned the hard way that neither of us could lie to each other. In this case, I was going to have to bend the truth in a way where I didn't tell him everything.

The horrifying truth happened earlier at my house when the mail came. I found out that I had not only got accepted into the nursing program at a great medical school, but it was also covered with a scholarship. Great, right? Nope. The scholarship was for USF which was in Florida.

Nathan didn't live in Florida. I had a feeling if I asked him to go with me, he would. But that was selfish of me. His whole family was here, his whole life was here. He and I have talked about plans to go to NYU together.

"Well," I started, "my parents and I have been going back and forth about schools for college. They think that NYU might not be the best for me."

Nathan's browse formed a deep V. "That's stupid. Where do they want you to go?"

Shit. "Columbia University." That wasn't a good lie. I'm going to get caught.

"Oh, well that's super close. You should apply. It's a really good school, Karma."

"I don't know..." I met his gaze again. "We made plans, Nathan."

"Is that what you're worried about?" He turned me around to face him and cupped my face in his hands. "Listen to me, gorgeous. I don't care if you go to school here in New York or to school in California. Nothing will change between us."

I knew he meant well, but what he said still hurt me a little. "Are you saying it wouldn't bother you if we are that far away from each other?"

He stroked my cheek with his thumb. "Of course it will. It's hard as hell for us to stay away from each other now."

He glanced away briefly before he looked back at me with love and pride in his eyes. "I want the best for you, Karma. But when it comes to picking schools, screw me and screw your parents. Its about what you want. Its your future and your choice to make."

Right there, in that moment, I knew what my choice was. "I want to go to NYU. With you."

His face brightened with a half smirk. "Yeah?"

I nodded as joy soared through me. "Yeah, I do."

"I knew you couldn't resist me," he said playfully.

I rolled my eyes at his smart remark.

"Seriously," he said when he sobered, "you make me so incredibly happy. I can't believe your mine, Karma Fitzgerald."

"I love you." I leaned up and brushed my lips against his. "Forever."

"I love you, too. Forever."

Lanie's voice drew my thoughts back to the present. "Ayden, are you sure these are necessary?"

"Yes. Trust me on this. When he wakes up in this hospital bed, he's going to freak." Ayden's voice dropped so low I almost didn't hear him. "I would."

I glanced down at the restraints that Lanie was talking about. I called Lanie immediately after the accident happened. As soon as she and Ayden met me here, Ayden demanded that they restrain Nathan's wrists and ankles.

"I think Ayden's right," I said softly to Lanie. The words that Nathan hold me in Florida whispered through my mind.

"Most of the time, when I close my eyes or I try to go to sleep, I'm back there. In that desert. A breath away from dying. I haven't been able to talk about it to anyone. I've mostly been drinking until I pass out, or my anxiety gets the best of me and I have periodic blackouts."

If he woke up in this hospital bed, he was probably going to have a panic attack like he did outside of the bar. He also told me in Florida that one reason it was so hard for him to do his rehab was because it was at the hospital. He said it was nearly impossible for him step foot in this place. I couldn't imagine him waking up after the accident and being perfectly fine.

"Its better for him that he's restrained. That way, just in case he does freak out, at least he won't hurt himself more than he already is."

Lanie looked up at me and wiped at her tears. "Okay."

Poor Lanie. She was so distraught when she found out what happened. We were just lucky that the accident wasn't too serious. Even though Nathan did have a slight concussion, it was mostly bumps and bruises. He did have a laceration above his eye being held together by seven stitches.

I was standing beside his bed, stroking his hair lightly. My eyes kept shifting from the monitor beside his bed back to him. I was so worried about him. The only reason I wasn't freaking out was because of my nursing background. It made me feel better to understand all the medical jargon and his vitals.

"When do you think he'll wake up, Karma?" Lanie asked.

I shook my head. "It's hard to say. It should be within the next hour or two. Why don't you two go down to the cafeteria and grab something to eat? I'll let you know if anything comes up while you're gone."

Lanie came and hugged me. "Thank you. I can't eat a single thing right now, but I could use a little air for a few minutes."

I waited until she and Ayden left the room before I walked back to Nathan's bedside. I gently sat on the side, making sure I didn't disturb him. I reached for his restrained hand and wrapped mine around it.

My chest ached when my eyes ran over his face. The large bandage wasn't the only thing noticeable. He had bruises on his face and arms from the impact. Thank goodness his legs were okay. I have yet to see what his chest and stomach looked like. The doctor told me he had severe bruising from the seat belt and the airbag.

When I felt his hand squeeze mine, I looked up at him. He regained consciousness slowly. He seemed to be okay. That is until his eyes started darting around the room. I knew the instant he realized where he was.

"Nathan!" He started pulling at his restraints. I don't even think he saw me sitting next to him. Or heard me. "Nathan, its okay!"

"I need to leave," he half groaned and half screamed. "I cant be here!"

I placed my hands on either side of his face. "Nathan, look at me. Look at me. It's Karma."

It was a few seconds before his eyes met mine. I could feel his racing pulse beneath my fingers and I wish I could do something to help take his anxiety away.

"Shh. Its okay," I whispered soothingly. "Just breathe." His panicked eyes held mine as he took a few more deep breath. "Better?"

"Karma?" His voice was scratchy and rough. "Fuck. What happened?"

"You don't remember?" A little memory loss is normal after a trauma like that. Especially since he had a concussion.

"I was with you this morning. Then Jules..." He shook his head like he was trying to focus or willing himself to remember. "I don't know after that."

Even though I was worried sick about him, I kept my voice steady and calm. "You were in an accident."

When he drew his brows together, it caused his stitches to pull and he winced. "We...were we on the phone?"

"Yes," I answered with a relieved sigh. "That's right."

He took another shuttering breath. "Can you take the restraints off? I think I'm okay now."

"Of course."

I made quick work of freeing his wrists and ankles.

"I can't stay here." He tried to get up from the bed and almost lost his balance.

"Nathan, sit down! Please."

He winced and groaned when I helped him sit back on the bed. I've never seen fear like I did when he looked at me. He was terrified.

I cupped his cheek and made sure he looked into my eyes. Hopefully that would get him to focus and hear me. "Listen to me. I already have the doctor starting you're discharge."

"You do?"

"Yes," I nodded. "You'll need to sign an A.M.A form saying you're leaving Against Medical Advice. They felt a little better since Ayden is a doctor and he lives with you."

When I turned to grab him some water, he grabbed my hand. When I looked back at him, he seemed to be having trouble trying to tell me whatever he wanted to say.

"Can-can I..."

At first, I didn't understand what he was asking me. Then it hit me. It took all my strength not to let my emotions get the best of me. I squeezed his hand gently in mine.

"Yes, Nathan. Of course you can stay with me."

Just as he relaxed, Lanie came in with Ayden.

"Nate! Ohmygod. I was so worried!"

She ran towards her brother and I held my hand out. "Whoa! Be careful, Lanie. He's in a lot of pain."

"Right." Lanie calmed herself down before she asked, "How are you feeling?" She face palmed herself. "God, that's a stupid question. I'm an idiot."

When he looked at his sister, she broke down. "Come here, L."

She walked up to him and he embraced her the best he could with the pain he was in. "No more car accidents in our family. I couldn't take it if something happened to you and I lost you."

I covered my my mouth at her heartbreaking words. I knew how she felt.

Nathan's eyes met mine. "I promise. I'm not going anywhere."

The way he was looking at me made it seem like he was promising that to both of us.

God, I hoped so.