Coney Island Carnival
Thirteen Years Ago (Both Age 18)

"What are you doing? Trying to win that stuffed teddy bear?"

Karma kept her eyes on the ring toss game. "Yes."

I leaned against the post and crossed my arms over my chest. "Which one are you trying to win?"

Instead of answering me, she continued to throw the rings. And kept missing. I tried not to notice the way the yellow tank top she had on rode up as she leaned forward every time to throw them. I tried not to let my gaze run over her long legs. Why the fuck was she wearing shorts that short? Why the fuck did I care again?

Okay, maybe I did know. Here's a recap...

Everything changed over the past couple months. Ever since that beach trip to Florida with my family. I never used to see Karma this way. She's never been anything more than my little sister's best friend. 

Now I saw her as this beautiful, tempting siren that consumed my thoughts and my dreams. I used to try to hook up with every hot girl that crossed my path. Now I wanted to know everything about Karma Fitzgerald. After what happened at the beach, I was hoping for more. For once, I wanted more. 

"Shit," she breathed when she ran out of rings. She opened her wallet and frowned when she saw she was also out of cash.

Suddenly feeling romantic, I pulled out a ten-dollar bill and got another bucket of rings.

"What are you doing, Nathan?" Her tone was one I was familiar with. Annoyed and short. When I took her spot to throw the rings, she stepped aside, crossed her arms and started tapping her foot.

I could barely hide my smile as I pointed to her Converse covered foot. "Is that supposed to scare me?"

"Yes. I know what you're doing and it's not going to work."

I arched a brow. "Really? What am I doing?

She didn't answer me. She was either too nervous or embarrassed to say it. Or too pissed. Simple enough, I was trying to get her to go out with me. 

"How about this," I pointed to the teddy bear, "I win you that black teddy bear, you go on a date with me."

"Why would I do that?"

I held my hands out and shrugged. "Why not? I'm doing something for you, and if I win, you can do something for me."

"Tit for tat, then? I should have known you played that way."

I chuckled at that. Classic Karma. She always tended to beat around the bush. "Deal or not, gorgeous?"

She sighed and ran her fingers through her ponytail. "Fine. I doubt you'll win, anyway."

I grinned so wide my cheeks hurt. Little did she know that I was really good at this game. I rubbed my hands together in anticipation. When I won, I was going to take her on a real date. Of course, I've never been on a real date myself, but Karma didn't deserve anything less.

I felt Karma's eyes on me as I started throwing the rings. When I threw the fifth one and missed, I heard her musical little laugh. I hadn't heard that since we were in Treasure Island.

"This isn't looking good for you, Nathan."

"I'm just warming up. Be patient."

After the next two rings, I finally made it. "Yes!" I slammed my hand on the table.

"Congratulations, sir," the game worker stated, "which one would you like?"

"The black one."

He handed me the giant teddy bear and I turned towards her. She had a surprised expression on her face. She also looked like she wanted to take off running in the other direction.

I handed her the teddy bear. "Well, Karma, a deal's a deal."

She took the teddy bear and looked at me mischievously. "Okay, Nathan. Fair is fair. Follow me."

I trailed behind her as she walked through the carnival. I glanced around looking for Lanie and Harper. I had no idea where they went, but if Lanie caught me hitting on Karma, I was a dead man. But I couldn't seem to help myself. There was something about Karma that drew me in.

"Where are we going?" I asked curiously. I didn't really care. Anywhere she and I could talk and hang out was fine with me.

"Right here," she said when she stopped in front of a food vendor. "I'll have a chili dog, please," she said to the man before looking at me.

"What's this?"

"This is our date that you won." When I stared at her, she laughed. "Tell the man what you want to eat, Nathan. There's a line forming."

That little fucking minx. Okay, I'll play along. Never taking my eyes off of Karma, I said, "I'll have a chili dog, too."

Once our food was ready, we walked over to a secluded bench and took a seat. She barely made eye contact as she ate. She really thought this was going to be our date. Well, she thought wrong.

"How's your food?"

She wiped her mouth with a napkin. "It's good, thank you."

"What are you doing Saturday?"

"I'm busy."

I chewed another bite of my food. "Well, I'll pick you up at eight."

"Excuse me?"

I shrugged casually. "You know, for our date." My eyes met hers. "Our real date."

She was quiet for a moment. No doubt she was remembering all the intimate moments and arguments between us over the past few weeks. She sat her food down and let out a deep breath before saying, "Okay, Nathan, humor me. I've known you for a long time. I know your dates usually consist of fast food and a romp in the sheets. Why do you think I'm that girl?"

She wasn't wrong; that is what I usually did with women. I never did the whole dating thing. Or the relationship thing. "I know you aren't that girl, Karma. Far from it."

She studied my expression. "So, out of curiosity, what would we do on this date?"

"I want to pick you up and go to dinner. A real dinner with candles and a dress code. I want to see you wearing a dress that shows off your beautiful body. Like the one you wore that night in the club. I want to share a meal with you and talk." My heart started beating faster in my chest. "Then when we're through, I'll take you home, walk you to your door., and kiss you goodnight."

Her chest rose and fell with each deep breath she took. "Why are you doing this to me, Nathan?" 

"Doing what?"

"All this time, you never showed interest in me. Not once. What happened in Florida...happened. Now you want me to be your newest conquest? Why?"

"I meant everything I said and did in Florida. And I don't think of you as a conquest, Karma." She needed to understand that. I didn't look at her like I did other girls. 

She briefly looked away from me. "Nathan, I know who you are, and that's fine. Be you. But I'm having a hard time believing what you're saying. And there's the whole Lanie thing. She's important to me." 

I didn't blame her for that, either. She knew more about me than most people. "Then let me prove it to you, Karma. Let me take you to dinner Saturday night. And if it comes down to it, I'll take care of Lanie. Just please...give me a chance. One chance."

My gaze never wavered from hers. I wasn't going to rush her answer. I didn't question whether she had feelings for me or not. That was obvious after Florida. I just hoped my past didn't come back to bite me in the ass.

"Okay, Nathan. Once chance."

I shot up from a dead sleep, breathing hard. Why the hell was I dreaming about that day at the carnival? I frowned when I realized I was on a couch...in someone else's house. Fuck. Did I pick up a girl or something? I looked under the blanket. Nope. I still had my clothes on. Then what the hell happened?

"You look like you've seen a ghost..."

Oh. Fuck. Karma. Everything came rushing back. Running into her at the bar, having drinks, then my fucking panic attack. She much have brought me to her place. That part was a little fuzzy. Dammit. Fuck. I needed to get out of here. Being around Karma Fitzgerald, alone in her home, wasn't a good idea.

I tossed the blanket I was covered with off of me and slowly turned in a sitting position. I groaned as my bad leg stretched and bent. "Fucking Christ." My leg hurt like a son-of-a-bitch. I checked my pockets and found my keys and wallet. My car must be at the bar still.

I slowly got to my feet and got my balance. I started heading to the door to leave when I heard a rusting sound from the back of the house. Before I could stop myself, I started walking towards it. There were boxes everywhere. Some still taped up and some were opened. I remembered she said she had just moved back here. Why after all this time?

I stopped when I got to the bedroom door. It was ajar and the light was on. I walked slowly inside and looked down at Karma as she slept. Her hair was loose and my fingers twitched. I remembered what it felt like to run my hands through it. My chest tightened as I remembered the fucked up shit I did to her. After all this time, she still showed me kindness. I didn't deserve her then. I definitely didn't deserve her now, either.

I glanced to her nightstand and saw a pad of paper and a pen. I wrote her a note and leaned it against her lamp. Unable to resist, I reached out and brushed a strand of hair out of her face.

"Goodbye, Karma," I whispered.

As I waked out of her room and down the long hallway, there was an open box in the middle of the dining room. I walked over and already knew what was inside it. Peeking out of the top was a black teddy bear. It was the black teddy bear. The one I won for her that night at the carnival. Why did she still have this?

I closed my eyes tight before I turned and left for the door. I couldn't handle this shit right now. I had too much I was dealing with already. I locked the bottom of her front door and shut it behind me. I started walking down the street and didn't look back.

Once again, I left Karma Fitzgerald behind.