"What the hell is this, Nathan?"

Even though I couldn't believe what I was looking at, I knew immediately that it was a re-creation of our first date. What the hell was he thinking? Nathan had made some stupid choices in his life; but this definitely takes the cake.

"I wanted to apologize for, you know, what happened with us."

I stared at him. "What?"

How the hell was this an apology?

"I'm sorry, Karma. I just wanted to-"

Needing some space, I turned away from him and walked out of the sliding doors onto the patio. I sat down on one of the lounge chairs and ran my hands through my hair. What the hell was happening right now? I couldn't handle this again. I remembered our first date clearly, and recreating it just reminded me of what I lost.

It reminded me of the months that I cried myself to sleep after I moved to Florida. It reminded me of the one thousand times I checked my phone to see if there was a missed call or text from him. It reminded me of a love that I thought was so pure and true, that it would last forever. But I was just a naive child back then.

There were so many things I wish I could forget about our relationship. But I couldn't forget. I've tried everything two erase him from my memory, but it was hopeless. For example, I would never forget that night when I woke up in that empty hotel room...

"Nathan?" I felt beside me in the bed. When I realized he wasn't next to me, I got up and started looking around the hotel room. "Nathan?"

He clearly wasn't here. Where could you have gone? He would usually stay in the bed with me until I woke up. I slipped on a robe before I went to grab my cell phone. Maybe he went to get ice or something, I thought to myself.

I grabbed my cell phone and quickly dialed his number. This wasn't like him. I frowned when it went straight to voicemail.

"Hey, this is Nate. Leave a message and I'll call you back."

"Nathan, where are you? I woke up and you were gone. And why is your phone off? Call me back. I love you."

I hung up the phone and went to wash off my face in the bathroom. When I met him at his house before our trip, he was acting different-almost nervous. I asked him if there was something bothering him, and he said he was just anxious for our trip.

We were originally supposed to take his car, but he changed his mind. That gave me an idea. Maybe he took my car to go get some food for us. I walked over to the nightstand and I saw my car keys sitting on top. Then my heart dropped.

Next to the car keys...was a note.

Remember me.

"What is this?" I whispered. But I already knew.

I reached out with a shaky hand and picked up the silver chain I had bought for him. If the note didn't tell me already, the chain was proof enough.

Nathan was gone. We were over.

Even after that horrible night, I tried calling him multiple times. I left voice mails, I called Lanie, I even went by his house. But it was all for nothing. He vanished. Not even his parents knew where he was. All they told me was that he left a note saying he needed some time to clear his head.

I remembered waiting that whole summer. My parents kept telling me I was better off-that we were young and we needed to grow up. They told me I should just focus on starting school in the fall at USF.

At the time, I didn't want to think about school. I didn't want to think about moving. I didn't want to think about anything except Nathan. I've known him almost my whole life, and it wasn't like him to do something like this to me.

I kept telling myself that there was some sort of explanation. I tried to convince myself that he would show up at my doorstep and explain what happened and it would all make sense. We would just get back together and everything would go back to the way it was. But my mom was right; I was young, naive, and stupid.

"Karma?"

My body tensed when I heard Nathan's voice. Why did he follow me out here? Why the hell did he come to Florida? I would have been fine on my own. I've been fine on my own for the past twelve years.

"Go away, Nathan."

I heard him take a few more footsteps forward. I stood from the lounge chair and he was standing right behind me now. Somehow, even now, I could sense when he was close by.

"Karma, can we please talk about this?"

I ignored the plea I heard his voice.

"We have nothing to talk about." I turned and stalked back into the house. I knew he was hot on my heels and he grabbed ahold of my hand stop me.

"Dammit, Karma!" He snapped. "We are going to fucking talk about this."

I pulled my arm free and crossed them over my chest. At first, I was hurt by what he had done tonight. Now, I was pissed off.

"You want to talk, Nathan? Fine! Let's talk!" I tapped my chin. "Oh, where should we start? How about with you explaining why you left me alone in a hotel room twelve years ago."

I saw the tic in his jaw. "I can't explain that, Karma. All I can say is I'm sorry. That's what tonight was about. I wanted to apologize for what I did."

I laugh at the absurdity of what he said. "Do you really think you can just apologize for something like that? I woke up alone. You have no idea what that was like for me."

Even though I was pissed off, I could feel my eyes starting to water. It was like that memory happened yesterday. It was still raw and fresh.

"You're right," he said. "I don't know what that was like for you, and I can't take it back. But I can apologize, no matter how many times it takes, I can apologize. I'm sorry, Karma."

I was so frustrated with him, I shook my head and started to walk past him. He stopped me. Again.

"Where are you going?"

"Out," I said curtly. Okay, I wasn't really going anywhere, but he didn't need to know that.

'You're not leaving. I'm trying to apologize and you're being unreasonable."

For a moment, I forgot about why I was so pissed at him. I suddenly became very aware of the fact that he was holding my wrist. Not hard. He was holding it just enough for it to send a shiver down my spine. I remembered all too well how our lover's quarrels always ended when we were together. Usually with him deep inside me.

My body responded instantly at the memory. My legs trembled with anticipation and heat rushed to my core. Right now...I wanted to forget about our first date. I wanted to forget about the night that Nathan Jenkins broke my heart. I wanted to forget that my father was in the hospital. Most importantly, I wanted to stop feeling-at least the bad things. The good things on the other hand...

I turned to face Nathan and his brows drew together. He was clearly thrown off by my change in demeanor. I stepped into his body and I felt him tense up immediately. "Do you really want to apologize to me, Nathan?"

"Yes," he answered with a shaky breath.

"Good." I met his stare. "I want you to fuck me."

His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "I'm sorry," he sputtered. "What?"

"That's how you can make it up to me," I said with a smile. "I want to forget about everything going on in my head. I just want to forget." My voice dropped lower. "You can make me forget."

His breathing started coming faster. "I'm not going to fuck you, Karma."

"Why not?"

"Because we shouldn't...I can't-I don't want-"

The thing about Nathan, was that I knew him just as well as he knew me. He may not want me because he felt guilty about what happened and the repercussions if we did hook up; but his body didn't lie.

I copied his actions from the night he told me he loved me and I placed my hand on his chest. "You feel that?" He remained silent as his heart pounded against my hand. "Your heartbeat tells a different story."

"You don't want this, Karma."

I'm sure he was right. There was probably a million reasons I didn't want them. But tonight, I couldn't think of a single one.

"I know exactly what I want." I ran my hand down his chest until I felt his hard erection. He groaned as I stroked him through his jeans. "The question is-what do you want, Nathan?"

His eyes searched mine for what seemed like hours. While I waited for his answer, I could help but wonder what it would be like to be with him again. Would it be different? Would it open a can of worms? I didn't know; but I didn't care, either.

"So what's it going to be?" I whispered.

Five seconds went by...then he crushed his lips against mine.