Days pass like dust. Months flow like a never ending stream. While I sit up happily among my bed overthinking the unknown and before you know it. It is October.

A lot has happened in the last three months Marvin and Grace stopped the chase game, solved the quiz and are officially a couple now. Grace has changed a lot ever since she met her other half. Julie and I were communicating better and better we were making a lot of progress we haven't made anything official but patience is better than pleasure.

My plan of hunting down Nav isn't going as arranged but there isn't nothing like eating chocolate on my bed can not fix I have concluded that my mind is no longer useful and active like before, school makes no sense, love is complicated, my plan dismally failed at a speed of two hundred and forty. Life is just a mixture of water and oil we just have to figure out how to make peace with each other's differences.

As much as I hate to admit it Julie is growing on me. She has become a piece of me I can not seem to remove. Question is does she feel the same about me? This hiding stuff about her like where she lives is draining me I can't seem to express my feelings when I'm around her but I do show affections my feelings for her has become unbearable that I decided to take the bus to school just to avoid her I hang out with Marvin and Scott at school. I tried kissing her again a month ago and guess what she did, she pushed me away and with her tiny hands against my chest something went through me something more than her anger that day but it was a feeling I've never felt before. No! It was so much more than a feeling it was beyond defying the things the world has to offer. I'm going to go insane thinking about Julie all the damn time. My feelings has grown to a much higher limit. I shed a tear. why am I crying? Is it because she doesn't love me? Is it because I'm a failure? Is because I can't control what's inside? What is inside? I hate crying over some fucked up secretive girl it makes me weak. I thought that by now we would have resolved our trust issues and be willing to give it a shot.

Here I am laying on my bed naked killing myself with thoughts I shouldn't be thinking about. When I left Sunnyside I had hoped that things would be different but here I am overthinking shit.

"Get out of my head."I pull my hair. I sound like a maniac.  Someone knocks on my door.

"Almost finished." I get into my uniform. I don't feel like taking the bus today I can't bear the noise level inside of that crap so I walk to school.

Like everyday I don't pay attention in class. After school I see Clara, Cora and Jen comforting someone it must be Grace. I zoom thoroughly I'm proven wrong it's Julie she looks at me.

"Dale!! Dale!" She calls out to me but I ignore her. I want something real I want a solid structure something to depend on for balance its gonna be a tough one to build if secrets and lies are involved. She says that its for my own safety to stay away from her I never bought that one. I don't want regrets, karma won't do me any good tomorrow if I don't make the right choices today.

I can't go back home. Home has a new identification it's called depression. I decide to go to my father's workshop I haven't been there in months. My mother and father have been so cold and distant to each other lately they try to act on it but I'm not that dumb I don't butter expired bread crumbs. I don't the energy to ask them what is going. When last have I made myself happy? Jolly doesn't want to wake up nothing pleases me at all. Nothing good is happening in my life. I'm turning motherfucken seventeen in less than a week and I'm already feeling that a disaster is about to materialize oh brother.

I have a lot on my plate sometimes I wish that I could feed the dogs my plate I'm strained I can't be going through all of this I'm young and dumb for thinking I can find my forever at this age I want to laugh at myself for believing that fantasyland does exist. I forgot which house it was I saw her going in.

"Get out." I threaten her.

I'm almost at my father's workshop. As soon as I step on the driveway I'm reminded that someone tried to kill me months ago I have got rid of Nav in my head. Minus one problem.

I get in my father's garage I don't see him outside. I go inside the garage and walk to the back where his office is. I hear noises coming from the his office and go inside. My jaw immediately hits the hard floor in disbelief my version completely blurs. My dad? The table? In the Office? No I must be going insane, I must be hallucinating, right now a mental hospital might be of good use.