Dedicated to CrownedJin♡

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So remember that time you told your brother to put on Kpop, and he put on Desiigner and you were like: "That's not Kpop..." but he was like, "He collabed with BTS tho."

I SWEAR I DIED SO HARD, AND I TOLD U ALREADY, THAT I'D MAKE A SHORT FANFIC ON HIM BEING A KPOP STAR BCUZ OF THIS (inspired by a jaden smith kpop fanfic I read somewhere, that shit was funny asf)

To other people: If you've never listened to Desiigner, you won't understand this story. Istg this is just satire, y'all better not take this seriously, or imma poke u with my chopsticks and then drag you thru kikkoman (ADVERTISING!) soy sauce

JK ily all (´∀｀)♡

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It was a normal day for Sydney, aka Desiigner. The sun was shining, a few seagulls flew in the sky above, and he was out shopping in Seoul after a BTS concert that he had attended.

"Yo Desiigner! Your collab with BTS was amazing." A random korean man said to him, "Would you like to become a Kpop star?"

"Hell yes skrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt pap pap. Who are you tho?"

The man grinned. "I'm Lee Soo-man, the founder of SM Entertainment homie. We have some empty spots in EXO, after those guys sued us and then left. Wanna fill in a spot? We'll rename you Desai-na and we'll help make you become a big name in the Kpop world!"

Desiigner jumped up and down in joy. He had always wanted to be a Kpop star, so he couldn't believe this amazing news. "GRRRRRRRRAAAAAA yessssss."

"Good. What would you like to name your debut solo song?"

"In honor of of my new asian breakthrough, imma name it Panda!"

"But Korea isn't Chin–"

"GRAAAAAHHHHH PANDA PANDA PANDA I GOT BROADS IN ATLANTA. TWISTIN DOPE, LEAN AND THE FANTA."

Lee Soo-man was absolutely jungshook. He truly loved Desiigner's powerful vocals and otherworldly rap skills.

"Sounds like a fire bop, sign this contract here real quick and you're good to go. You'll need a photoshoot, and some training."

"Skraaaaaaaa LESS DO IT."

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After months of learning korean, Desai-na was almost done with training. He had gone to singing lessons, learned how to act like an idol, learned how to dance and basically starved himself to get a dream figure.

He had also met EXO, who weren't so fond of the idea of Sydney joining them, but they knew it would bring them more fame and shmoney, so they agreed. What made them jealous was the fact that Desai-na only had to undergo a few months of training.

"Onion-Ha-Seyo, Lee Soo-man Sunbaenim, smida! Am I ready to debut?" Desai-na asked excitedly.

Lee Soo-man nodded. "We released your debut photo on instagram and the fans went wild!"

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( silverspoongi SM Entertainment did our mans Desiigner so wrong oooof 😭)

@EXO_OFFICIAL √

♡ 20 million likes
30,000 comments
Meet our new member, Desai-na! Saranghae EXO-Ls! Gamsahamnida for accepting him into our band <3

bringmethebaekcon: DESAINA OPPAR I LOVE YOU!!!1!!1!1!1!1!!111! ❤

luhansbaby: ugh fuck this, bring back Luhan, Kris and Tao!

yeheeeeeet: someone needs 2 drop me his skincare routine, he lookin glowin asf and so blemish free

parkingjimin: HOW DARE HE BETRAY BTS! HE SHOULD HAVE JOINED THEM INSTEAD

expensivenamjoon: lmfao why he got Jin's hair tho

kpopactivist: and the whitewashing strikes again.... Y'all are worse than those fansites that pour 10kg of flour on idols faces

kokokai: I LOVE U DESAINA, URE GONNA MAKE EXO GREAT AGAIN! U SHOULD BE THE VISUAL, LEAD RAPPER, LEAD VOCAL AND LEAD DANCER! Ur the best!!!! 😭😭😭❤❤ Desaina forever and always!

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"Wow! I look so natural and amazing on that photo! My aegyo is flawless!  The photographers are good. So glad they didn't photoshop me, the way they always do it to other idols!" Desai-na giggled happily.

Lee Soo-man beamed proudly.
"I knew you wouldn't disappoint me. Any ideas for a new EXO song? Your song Panda hit #1 on Billboard worldwide, despite being in korean. You're lejindary!"

"Yeah, woo woo DRAAAAAAAA I just watched the best cartoon ever! My childhood boi Timmy Turner lit asf, so lets make a song called 'Timmy Turnt Up'."

"Aight fam, let's do this!"

3 MONTHS LATER

EXO have released a new song and won all Daesangs of 2018. They've become such a powerful group, that all other Kpop groups have quit, because nobody buys their music anymore. Actually, all other artists in the world have quit making music.
(And Mini's brother could now rightfully claim that Desiigner was indeed Kpop)

Now everyone only listens to EXO and Desiigner.

The End

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To all people who made it through this short and crappy story, with its terrible 1 minute photoshopped picture, then I am incredibly sorry.

I was just bored.
And Desiigner was speaking weirdly because I added his adlibs, lmao.

Tonight the bleach, tide pods and holy water are on the house ♡ Enjoy :)

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I ACTUALLY PHOTOSHOPPED A BOMB ASS GROUP PHOTO OF EXO WITH DESAI-NA, BUT THE WIFI RN SUCKS SO I COULDN'T POST IT :(

RIP EXO-D (EXO-DESAI-NA) 2018