A/n: Let's begin with "Forgotten Blood"!

Dario: FINDERS KEEPERS!

George: I've been saved!

Dario: WAS NOT MY INTENTION BUT I SHALL ADAPT ACCORDINGLY!

Jonathan: This meeting feels significant but I can't put my finger on why

Dio: I CONCUR- *kicks dog* MUDA

Jonathan: So this is our relationship... Not a fan.

Y/n: I will show you hell if you pull shit like that again.

George: He's your brother now!

Jonathan: Very much not a fan.

Y/n: He will be under my careful watch

George: I'm dying now!

Jonathan: It's Dio and I'm gonna prove it goodbye!

Y/n: I'll watch Mr. Joestar!

George: ...what

Speedwagon: I am incidental character Speedwagon here to kill you! *Spinny hat*

Jonathan: Hello incidental character Spee-

Speedwagon: JUST KIDDING! We will be business partners for generations spanning over a LITERAL century!

Jonathan: ooooooooookay

Y/n: JoJo's back!

Jonathan: I have proven that you're killing our father!

Dio: I'M GONNA KILL YOU BOTH WITH THIS STABBY BLOOD MASK FIRST WAIT- I CHANGED MY MIND. HUEHGHUREHGUHEGUHEUGHUEGHEGUHGEU. THIS IS A VAMPIRE STORY NOW!

Jonathan: Not unless I set you on fire first!

Dio: NOT UNLESS I TAKE OVER THE WORLD FIR-

Y/n: Hey dumbass, you don't say that shit yet!

Dio: WHAT

Jonathan: What

George: Y/n, JONATHAN WHY AM I ON FIRE?!

Y/n and Jonathan: What?

Jonathan: This turned out to be quite the unfortunate set of circumstances but at least Dio's dead ...Definitely

Zeppeli: I am Baron Zeppeli here to teach you how to kill Dio with magic sunlight punches!

Jonathan: Yeah okay wait how do you know that dio's still alive

Zeppeli: uuh... your breathing is wrong- *tosses frog* ehh

Jack: DUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHH!

Jonathan: I'm glad you gave me this glass of wine so that I knew to punch the wall to kill Jack the Ripper!

Dio: YOU KILLED MY MINION JACK THE RIPPER NOW I WILL KILL YOU WITH ZOMBIES!

Zeppeli: Not unless I use a magic sunlight punch first! Extendo-arm Overdrive Overdrive Overdrive!

Dio: YOU CANNOT HURT ME WITH YOUR MAGIC SUNLIGHT PUNCH BECAUSE YOUR MAGIC SUNLIGHT PUNCHES USES YOUR BLOOD FLOW AND I'M GETTING RID OF ALL THE VAPOR FROM MY ARM WHICH MAKE MY ARM LIKE ICE AND MY ICE ARM FREEZES YOUR BLOOD MAKING YOU NOT BE ABLE TO USE YOUR MAGIC SUNLIGHT PUNCHES ON ME! *collapsed lung noises*

Zeppeli: I-I mean I guess I can't argue against that

Dio: GO BIG GUY AND HAIR GUY!

Hair Guy: No but really, they are! There was this feud between Queen Elizabeth the First and Queen Mary who-

Y/n: I can't believe you beat Hair Guy by attacking him and then not attacking him

Jonathan: Yes, and now I have the Luck Pluck Sword let's go fly a leaf kite-

Jonathan and Y/n: weeeeeeeee!

Author: FLAAAAAAASHBAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK

Young Zeppeli: I wish to learn how to use magic sunlight punches!

Tonpetty: You will be killed when you say the words "I will attack big guy"

Young Zeppeli: Not sure if I understaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand

Author: Back to the present!

Jonathan: Oh no I'm tied up and about to die unless somebody attacks big guy!

Zeppeli: I will attack big guy- AGH

*big guy explosion noises*

Y/n: I can't believe it...

Jonathan: I know, Zeppeli sacrificed himself and gave me all his power what a dramatic twist of fate!

Speedwagon: Look out, it's tongue guy!

Y/n: I already defeated tongue guy!

Speedwagon: Look out, it's slow-kick guy!

Dire: Actually, I'm a good guy

Straizo: Me too probably

Tonpetty: I was the guy in Zeppeli's flashback.

Speedwagon: Look out, it's snake guy!

*bang*

Y/n: Hey, can we please just fight Dio already?

Dio: IT'S TIME FOR OUR FINAL BATTLE!

Dire: Um- actually first, I'm going to attack you with one of my famous "slow kick" (trademark) attacks

*Dire freezes and dies*

Y/n: Shit. Again.

Speedwagon: I guess that's just how it be sometimes

Jonathan: Fine- NOW it's time for me to fight dio-

Dio: LET'S INTRODUCE FOUR MORE NAMED CHARACTERS!!!!!

Pajyu: I'm Pajyu

Jones: I'm Jones

Pluton: I'm Pluton

Barnum: I'm Barnum

New Named Characters: WE'RE ALL DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD

Y/n: We done? ...Okay cool let's do this!

Jonathan: I will now attack dio with my luck pluck sword supercharged with magic sunlight- Overdrive Overdrive Overdrive Overdrive Overdrive Ovrddrblrldlrelldl

Dio: IT DOESN'T WORK BECAUSE ICE

Jonathan: Foiled again- Surprise! The sword was on fire this whole time!

Dio: ...I BREAK THE SWORD!

Jonathan: I punch you!

Dio: I FREEZE YOUR HAND!

Jonathan: Foiled again- Surprise! My hand was on fire this whole time!

Y/n: I punch from the side!

Dio: I SHOOT YOU BOTH WITH MY LASER EYE ATTACK!!

Jonathan and Y/n: your what?

Dio: WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!

Jonathan: Hurrah! Now I can return to my previous life as a humble whatever with my new wife-

Erina: HELLO

Jonathan: Now that dio's finally dead. Definitely

Y/n: *hiding* He ain't dead

Dio: I INFILTRATED THIS BOAT TO STEAL YOUR BODY

Y/n: I TOLD YOU I WAS WATCHING!

Jonathan: Even though Y/n is able to fight, the only course of action is to sacrifice myself for the greater good- Wife take this baby

Erina: Ye-

Y/n: You'll never reach-

*boat explosion*

*And Y/n found himself as an amnesiac on the Canaries islands*

Erina: MY HUSBAND IS DEAD ...And also I'm pregnant BUT AT LEAST I SURVIVED BY HIDING IN THE MEGA BLAST-PROOF COFFIN dio CAME HERE IN- *throat not having much of a grand ol' time* AT LEAST dio'S DEAD NOW... DEFINITELY ...DEFINITELY

*Except what ACUTALLY happened is DURING the explosion Dio STOLE Jonathan's body and somehow ALSO hid in the coffin in a SEPARATE COMPARTMENT that was DEFINITELY THERE the WHOLE TIME and slept for A HUNDRE YEARS under the sea and invented STANDS which are-*

Dio: ZA WARUDO!!!!!!!!!

The End