Book: His Angel, Her Treasure | anupamarrao

Reviewer: Moyo | creative_maverick_Mo 

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Title (5/5)

Your title went really well with your book and it spoke volumes about the genre of your book. Kudos!

Cover (5/5)

Your cover was beautiful and it went very well with your plot and storyline. Well done!

Blurb (1.5/5)

Good news: It gave me an idea of the story line

Bad news: It was way too confusing and disconnected.

Although your blurb gave me an idea of what your story entailed, it was very lengthy and disconnected. First you started with quotes-that were unnecessary in my opinion-and then you started with a very unflattering description of your story (and I think you know this too. That's why you ended the blurb with the "what's new in this story?" sentence).

My suggestion (you don't need to follow this guideline):

· Remove the quotes in the beginning (if you really want to add them, add only one-because both quotes are the same-and structure it properly so that it flows nicely with the storyline. For instance, you can ask for the help of a graphic shop to help you make the quote more aesthetic and the translation should be on the next line and not in a bracket)

· Remove the last paragraph where you are talking about how the description makes your readers feel. In case you don't know the part I'm talking about: "this description may make you feel,...detailed summary and author curated playlist inside"

Also, your description of your story is cliché and confusingly philosophical. Honestly, reading your blurb made me very confused about what was going on in your book because there were just too many elements in it. Ideally your blurb shouldn't be more than 150 words so every potential reader of your book can get it all in at one glance-the only time I will suggest you make it longer is when you are writing an excerpt from your book in the blurb.

I would suggest something like:

"Kehte hain agar kisi cheez ko dil se chaho, toh poori kainaat usse tumse milane ki koshish mein lag jaati hai"

Translation:

"They say, if you wish for something from the bottom of your heart, the whole universe will conspire to fulfill your wish."

- Shah Rukh Khan in Om Shanti Om.

Everyone dreams of meeting their prince charming someday, it was no different for Sharanya Rao, an average 15-year-old girl, who was so used to moving from one state to another that she had forgotten how to form connections with people.

That was until she met Aditya Mohan. She didn't understand how or why she was drawn to him. They were like fire and water; their differences were so eminent that one was sure to outshine the other..."

You don't have to follow that but I'm sure you can see the difference. Make your blurb tell a story to audience, your confidence in your book will always come through in what you write so if you aren't confident about your story, your readers will sense it and it might turn them off.

Genre (5/5)

Your story was really romantic. Good job!

Originality (4/10)

Your storyline was nice, but it was more than a little cliché. Chapter one was so cliché that I cringed all the while that I was reading it. You started off with making Sharanya and Aditya 'accidentally' run into each other, then, it starts to snow and Sharanya had to go into Aditya because Aditya and Sanjana just happen to be neighbours. I know you're writing romance, but you can add your own twist to it to make it stand out from the lot. For instance, Sharanya could have met Aditya in Sanjana's house instead of going to Florida without telling Sharanya (who travels out of state without telling their best friend anyway?)

Description (4/10)

Your description was a little shaky. It took me a while to understand what you were trying to say sometimes. For instance, in chapter 1 where Aditya and Sharanya run into each other:

"As she absentmindedly made her way down the lane to Sanjana's house, Sharanya failed to notice something right in the middle of the footpath. It was then, when she hit the fabric-wrapped pole-like structure, that she came out of her dream world, back to earth. A sudden breeze of wind made it slightly chillier, yet perfect."

First of all, "fabric wrapped pole" was a very awkward term to describe Aditya. Secondly, the whole paragraph could have been better worded altogether. You can contract an editor to help with this part of your book after you are done editing it yourself.

Structure (3/5)

This is just my opinion, but I feel the first chapter was not necessary at all. It was like you were writing another blurb in your book. I think you should eliminate that chapter. Whatever explanation or summary you want to write should be in the blurb and no more. Your readers will find out the rest as time goes by. Also, I understand that Aditya and Sharanya are meant to be soul mates and everything but the plot felt a little rushed to me. It takes time for real connections to build but they seemed to fasten the pace and I can't really say if I liked it. I'm not saying you should make the flow sluggish but you can slow it down a little. I mean, Sharanya was going to Aditya's house in chapter 2 when they barely knew each other. That felt fabricated to me.

Vocabulary (6/10)

This, like your description can be rectified with the help of a good editor because it also needs a lot of work. Although your spellings were mostly correct, your choice of diction was not. The words or modifiers you use to qualify things and experiences in your book affects the way your book comes across to your audience. It also affects the quality of your imagery but don't worry, when you are done writing your book, you can read it over and over again to edit it. After that, you can contract a good editor to help you with it.

Overall Enjoyment (3.5/10)

Overall, I think your story is nice, but you need some help with execution and you also need to work on your writing style. You can get a good editor that will work hand-in-hand with you to bring your vision to life. There are so many awesome editors in our community and on Wattpad that can help you with this. Your writing isn't at that point yet, but it does have potential so don't give up.