Book: Recrudescence by MounaKacem

Reviewer: by_a_dancer

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Title [2/5]

The title seems original, but from the first few chapters, I could not tell how exactly it relates to the story. However, it seems suitable for the genre, so you get points for that.

Cover [5/5]

Nice cover, clean and simple, though still harmonious and matches the genre expectations very well. The black-and-white colour palette intensifies the dramatic element while the font suitably adds the final touches to the overall picture.

Blurb/Synopsis [2/5]

Language-wise, the blurb is well-written, however, it sounds like every werewolf story ever published on and outside of Wattpad. You keep it general to avoid giving away too much of the story, at the same time nothing stands out from it. Try to find something that makes your story stand out from the rest of werewolf books and use to and capture your reader in the blurb already.

Genre [5/5]

The characteristics fit with the genre without challenging any expectations or pushing any boundaries.

Originality [4/10]

For me, the striking element about the book is the mental condition of the main character. It makes the story stand out, at least in comparison to other werewolf stories I read before. Other than that, I think there are some elements of the world-building that are unique – like the idea of the entire village – but unfortunately, the lack of description doesn't make that prominent enough.

Description [3/10]

There are some lovely descriptions of the details in the book like the cute obsession with bows of the main character. Unfortunately, most of the time you tell the reader something instead of showing it. The physical description of your main character is completely missing. The only thing we know is that Omar tells us she has a strong presence. We don't see it; we simply have to trust his judgement. Also, his description could use many more details. The same goes for her interactions with the wolves. She was so nervous to meet them and then she goes in and out on her job and suddenly decides they are good people (before her interaction with Alpha). How did that jump happen? What convinced her they were good?

Another example of a seemingly important moment when you tell us something is when she mentions the voices in her head. The sentence goes something like "For once today she could lose herself in something that was not her thoughts and the voices in her head." You just casually drop that information onto the reader leaving it completely uncommented. We didn't hear the voices in her head so far. That should get more attention.

Setting

Also here, you merely tell instead of show (like already in the first chapter the way you describe her apartment). Keep in mind that we see your world through her eyes. Plus, when it comes to descriptions, there are also other senses. What did she smell when she entered their little village? You already have the wolfs sniffing the surroundings, that the perfect opportunity to describe her impressions. Or maybe the sounds she hears in this new area. Let us discover the world you create.

Later in the 4th chapter when she wakes up and gets breakfast, your description of this breakfast is limited to "Halfway through her meal..." That meal showcases how Omar treats her and what her future living there might look like.

Wording and Flow

Especially in the first few chapters, there are a lot of very short sentences that almost sound robotic and don't allow for a reading flow. It is easy to spot some very unnecessary sentences (like "Nothing special stood out" – how does this sentence add to the story or allows me to draw a picture in my head?), so I would advise you to reread the initial chapters examining what sentences you actually want to keep.

Character Development [4/10]

Main Character:

Your main character is certainly unique. Her imaginary friends are an interesting touch to the story, though I couldn't help but wonder if that sort of portrayal is not playing down the seriousness of her situation.

Her development at the beginning is rather jumpy, simply because we don't get enough insight into her head. What voices does she hear? How did she decide the wolves are good people? What does it mean that she doesn't have access to her medication for approximately the next two days? How does it make her feel being medically attended to by someone who she believes drugged her? You have a good start, it just needs a lot more description to follow her development.

Wolves:

We don't get much of interaction with the wolves in the first five chapters other than with their Alpha, so it is hard to judge their character descriptions. As for the Alpha, so far, he doesn't show much of depth or dimension, but maybe that develops in later chapters. I just keep wondering if his revelation "you are my mate" is so straightforward due to his blunt character or what he was thinking dropping it on her like this, without testing her limits / getting to know what kind of a person she is.

Plot [6.5/10]

The plot develops logically, without pushing any boundaries of the genre. However, there is a plot hole in chapters 3-4 as you say she has to stay with the wolves for 48 hours, she immediately goes to sleep and when she wakes up the next morning, she only has 24 hours left with them.

Grammar [13/15]

Good and polished grammar. The tense of verbs is consistently kept throughout the book. The only thing I would like to point out is that you sometimes start the sentence with an (example)

She said tensely, "direct speech."

In those kinds of sentences make sure you put your direct speech before the "she said" part, to allow for a better reading flow.

Structure [4/5]

The dialogues and description paragraphs are broken properly and have a nice length. There were only a few spots where you had double spacing (also in the first chapter) between two paragraphs, which made me assume there was a jump in time, but it was not the case.

Vocabulary/Spelling [8/10]

Your spelling is polished and has a good vocabulary, with only a little repetition. I also enjoyed the descriptive verbs you used when it comes to action. One little remark for when you edit the first chapter: your sentence structure shows little variation, so there are sometimes paraphs were all sentences start with a She + Verb. Try to switch it up a little. That will certainly help to establish a better flow.

Overall Enjoyment [5/10]

I think the story has more potential than you currently show. Once you really build out this world, I think it will be an interesting read.

Special request about the first chapter:

I would like to give you the advice of watching your pacing. For example, chapter 5 works well, because you build up to something. In the previous chapters, however, you don't build up to anything, or even if you do, there is no tension built to support it, so some of the most important revelations simply fall flat. Ask yourself where is this going and how will I get the reader there without telling him / her? That is the case for example with the "you-are-my-mate"-revelation, as well as her losing her consciousness, that just appeared so suddenly there were no signs for it.

That would also mean, that you will need to shorten some paragraphs as they are just not necessary for the story. Like, do we really need the entire phone call with her father in the first chapter? Or what do we actually need from it?

The first chapter starts off slow and ends abrupt, so it sounds unfinished and I was left disappointed as there was no pointe in this chapter, no hook, and no meaningful impression that your protagonist gets to create a proper cliffhanger. You set no expectations, so none were destroyed or fulfilled. At the same time, you also don't give one good reason for the reader to metaphorically / literally turn the page.

Coming back to the opening, it is very slow, and there is usually nothing wrong with a slow, mundane opening, they are just not gripping. There are so many werewolf-works out there, most of them cut from the same cloth, so it would be good if you found a convincing opening that would make your story stand out.