Book: The Untold Truth by kimberly_rash

Reviewer: notyourwitch_

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Title [5/5]

The title is exactly to the point and tells the readers just what it is about. It fits there quite nicely.

Cover [4/5]

Your name isn't really visible on the cover, I would suggest that you get that changed

Blurb [2.5/5]

I felt that the blurb was really long, a bit confusing, and way too much information was revealed. It didn't do its work; it didn't hook me in. As a reader who decides to read a book based on its blurb, it wouldn't be my first choice as I understood the whole story from the blurb. I would suggest making the blurb shorter and maybe adding a question.

Genre [5/5]

Yes, it's a mystery book. The genre fits perfectly.

Originality [10/10]

The concept felt original, I haven't read a book like this.

Description [7.5/10]

I felt that you could have a little more descriptions especially about the main character so that it's easier to imagine her and a bit about the house. We also didn't know who was who, since it was mentioned in the blurb only. Some short descriptions about the people around her or the environment around her would light up the story quite well.

Character Development [8/10]

Like I mentioned above, we didn't know who was who, and how they were related to Stacy in the first chapter, I for one thought that Lucy was Stacy's sister, until I went back to the blurb. I feel that it would be more helpful to add the relations in the 1st chapter instead. It was hard to imagine any sort of person as Stacy since there was no description about Stacy as well as Regina and Jorden considering that they had met for the first time.

Plot [7/10]

As I was reading, I felt that the characters were extremely short-tempered, it made the book a little unrealistic since no one's that short-tempered. There weren't any plot holes, the story went on smoothly, except for the change in POV, especially on the last chapter. The thoughts of Stacy, however, could've been in italics or single quotes, it becomes confusing otherwise. There are a few things that I didn't get in the last chapter like why there was a tray in the room or why there were no guards present.

Grammar [10/15]

In some places, a few punctuation marks were missing like a period or a comma or a question mark. In other places, the tense/the point of view changed for a second, like in 3rd chapter, 1st paragraph, there's a line 'Knowing that my father.....found out', the point of view changed and it made it a little confusing. And in the second paragraph this happened too. I recommend using the help of an editor, they'll know exactly what to change so that it's easier to read.

Structure [2.5/5]

In some places, 'I and your father' was written, which should've been 'Your father and I'. In the second chapter, you wrote "Father" which I would recommend writing as Father or 'Father' since the former feels like a dialogue. There were places where the paragraphs were too big and could've been broken like the second paragraph in the 3rd chapter. The sentences too were broken in quite a few places which could've been as one.

Vocabulary/Spelling [5.5/10]

In the third chapter, 'gouge' was mentioned but I think you meant 'judge'. In another places, there was a word 'Manger' I'm not sure what exactly was supposed to be there. Also, there was a place where you wrote 'Bipolar depression' the term used was wrong. It's either 'bipolar disorder' or 'maniac depression'. There were a few other places where I felt that the words were misspelled.

Overall Enjoyment [7/10]

While I liked the story, I would have loved it if the above-mentioned things didn't catch my attention and confuse me a bit. It's quite well written, and the ending was quite nice, and it suggests that there might be a second part to this book, which interests me a lot. I look forward to seeing any future development of your book, because it has a lot of potential! 

[ Total: 74/100 ]