Throne Off - owlnam

Reviewer - cwang1

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Title [5/5]

Ooh, interesting. I like it!

Cover: [2/5]

Your cover is a bit simplistic, and the title is a bit too small in my opinion. I liked how you included the "one path, many roads" part, but the text almost blends into the background, so I would suggest making it black. I did really like the background image, though.

Blurb: [2/5]

I liked how you gave an introduction into each of the three characters. I would suggest perhaps putting a line break between each so that the reader is not too confused. Additionally, I spotted quite a few punctuation mistakes. You had a lot of extra commas, so I would suggest going back and fixing that. Other than that, you had an interesting blurb!

Genre: [5/5]

It fits!

Originality: [10/10]

I thought that your concept was very interesting, and I definitely haven't heard of many like it. It's certainly very original.

Description: [6/10]

You didn't have very much good description in my opinion, so I would suggest adding more. Your vocabulary was a little above average, so you may want to add more interesting words, which may help your description.

Character Development: [6/10]

I would suggest providing the reader with a bit more insight into what the motives are behind what the character reads and does. I did like how your dialogue really helped to develop the characters. I would also recommend doing more showing on what the characters feel, rather than telling the reader.

Plot: [7.5/10]

I really liked how you had different points of view. Not many authors do this, so good job with it. Other than that, I thought you had a very interesting plot, but I would recommend giving more background into the world that the characters live in. Finally, I liked how you had a lot of dialogue!

Grammar: [14/15]

Overall, your grammar was pretty good. The only thing I would recommend is adding some words in some places to help make the sentence flow better. On the other side, I thought that you sometimes used too many words, and you could probably make your writing more concise in a few spots.

Structure: [4/5]

Your structure was good, overall, though I would suggest using your paragraphs to put more emphasis on certain sentences.

Vocabulary/Spelling: [8.5/10]

Your vocabulary was pretty good, though I thought that you could perhaps use more unique vocabulary. Your spelling was also spot on, and I couldn't really spot any mistakes.

Overall Enjoyment: [8.5/10]

Overall, your story had a very interesting concept, and I liked all the dialogue you put in. I would just recommend working a bit on world-building and plot and character development.