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13 | Xan | The Clearing

The Clearing - RogueWriter55

Reviewer - Xanatos_Gambit 

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Title 4/5

The title doesn't relate to anything in the blurb, but it seems ominous enough with what's on the cover!

Update: my own opinion, you should wiggle something about the title into the blurb, now that I know it's revealed in chapter 2 and not like in the middle of the book or something.

Cover ⅘

Not going to lie, the fact that the word "Clearing" is split up on the cover is kinda driving me crazy. Everything else about the cover, however, I think is amazing. The slashed blue scene within the normal road spells mystery, and the use of the silhouettes within the letters of the boy in the tree is really awesome. I've never seen anything like that.

Blurb 2/5

This is not really a gripping blurb. It's too informative and plot thick to excite the readers...

Honestly, since in the first chapter, you start the story with Victor showing up at the Grants' house, I would eliminate the entire second paragraph of the blurb. And just rope something in about his abilities being magical and cut and paste the "setting into motion an extraordinary... ". I think that sentence is a really last sentence for the blurb, I just don't think the rest of the paragraph is necessary. It gives too many spoilers away.

Your blurb DOES NOT do this book justice. If I was just a regular reader, I would not have started it, and I would have missed out.

Genre 5/5

We've got magic in the blurb and alluded to on the cover- definitely Fantasy.

Originality 10/10

I've read a lot of fantasy and magical books... and this one started off with a bang and continued all the way through with a very unique plot.

Descriptions 10/10

Your descriptive abilities are absolutely amazing. The nighttime scene in which the story started and the scene where Victor entered the Grants' house for the first time was amazing. Also, the scene in which you described the dueling magical forces within him, it was really really interesting!

Character Development 10/10

Is Victor supposed to talk like someone who's in high school? Because he definitely does... I mean I get the difference in speech, but he's got a high vocabulary and whatnot for a little kid.

It's hilarious how he doesn't understand everything that's going on, like when Kristy was trying to get him to help her out of the date with Nick and when Nick and Ton were giving him dating advice. I love the creation of 'kino'!

I love his best friends; they're literally hilarious. The younger siblings and them are totally the comic relief of this story, and I am all here for it.

Also, what the heck is with Marta??? I thought she was going to turn nice too, and then wow, she just UNLEASHED.

I don't understand why Victor didn't tell Kristy about Gigi and the fae party that happened in the Clearing...

Plot 7/10

I absolutely loved the end of the first chapter.

Wow, I swear you killed us all as well by describing how Prof Craig died... like MY HEART.

I liked the connection of the colors battling in the clearing with what the three women came to his house later and said... it's a way for the reader to guess what is going on!

Ooooh! I absolutely loved the scene between Victor and Kristy!! Very intriguing, informative, and makes everyone start shipping of course. LOL.

WOW. I love the ominous Chapter 11! The rest of the story had been so warm and light comparatively, and then I swear chills were sent up and down my spine when I read this one. Especially with a lack of names, a shroud of mystery, and the Four being capitalized, the contrast is perfect!

THE END

This is why you got only a 7/10 on the plot. Because I had a 10/10 until I reached the ending.

Put simply, I'm mad at your ending, both as a reader and a reviewer. There were alot of things that weren't cleared up!!! I expected it to be a lot longer, not going to lie. You kind of introduced Mistress Fawn and Gigi, but they had no part in the ending! Like clearly Mistress Fawn wasn't going to stay in Siberia for more than a day, so what happened to her? Also, after the party, Gigi vanished, never to be seen again. What happened to her?

Why did Victor never tell Kristy about what happened with Gigi and the fae party?

And then the creepy Chapter 11 was great, but there was NOTHING about it at the end.

I suggest that you add some of these things into your ending... Lol.

And I mean, I know why you emphasized the genie part of Victor bc of Arabella and Kristy, but the other powers weren't used almost at all. So it's almost kind of pointless with the whole history and everything to barely explain the other two, much like you barely explained the other two characters. Unless there's going to be a second and third book to focus on these powers? [I saw no mention of this, hence the major ripping here]

Grammar 12/15

You have a couple of apostrophes and commas out of place, for example, in the blurb: "The child appeared on the Grants' doorstep".

Some of your phrasing is a little awkward as well, for example, in Chapter 1: "replied the professor, as if humoring the boy → jested the professor, chuckling at the strange boy's words" or something like this

Psst you changed the spelling of Maryann/e a couple times.

Oof. "You and your hormones get to class" is a hilarious sentence... but it's not grammatically right, I don't think. "You had better take your hormones to class" or something like that would sound much better.

Structure 4/5

I would do a little more to separate Victor's flashbacks from what's actually happening in the story... Since while I understood that we had moved to a flashback based on what you said, I don't know if all readers would catch it.

This goes for this thoughts in general too, for example in Chapter 12: "//Almost poetic,// he surmised as he walked to class, //and quite bizarre!// This is a hilarious and beautiful line, and the irony of the two lines there being poetic as he is musing on his situation is perfect.

You too, know how to end a chapter, my dear! Almost every chapter is ended by a quip or something that makes me chuckle, and my favorite so far is "It's better to help you than to get blown up by you." (Chapter 8)

Vocab 10/10

Much like your descriptions, your choice in vocabulary is *splendid*. I like the contrast between Victor's English and the rest of the characters'.

Enjoyment 10/10

Ngl, I usually hate magic books. I think they're over done, cliché, and people always make them teen fiction, stereotypical, and boring. Yours, however, is literally the complete opposite. I am enjoying this book more than I ever thought I would! :) It is hilarious, there are quips at every turn, and with a unique plot and lovable main characters, this book should have A LOT more votes than it does!!

Total 88/100 

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