Finding Inigo - Amy__judith

Reviewer - Xanatos_Gambit 

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Title 5/5

Cover 5/5

I love the hunk on the front ;)

Blurb 3/5

Honestly, now that I've read the whole book... I think you reveal too much of the story. Pretty much you started with the interview and the rest of the book was about her and Inigo getting closer and whatnot... so don't spoil that all in the blurb! Like cut it off after "further destination" would be my suggestion, and maybe take out the "wrong love" part earlier.

Genre 5/5

This is 100% a romance book. Yes, genre is correct lol.

Originality 10/10

Okay, I loved the whole poem-for-the-titles-of-the-chapters thing! And it worked when you put the lines into the chapters, since your writing style seems to flow like poetry when you describe things (at least in my opinion).

I loved how you took the stereotypical billionaire-romance story and decided to go "I'm going to twist this into something that no one will ever expect".

I loved Hailey being put in the middle of whatever feud McVena and Inigo have going on... that of course Inigo knows nothing about, as 22-year-old recent psychology graduate lol. That's truly unfortunate, and I love it.

Descriptions 10/10

I think the descriptions that you put in the story are wonderful, and we get a real look at what's going on inside Hailey's mind.

Character Development 7/10

I think all of the characters are well-developed by the end. Of course, we get to know Hailey very well by the end of the novel, since she's the narrator. I like her intricate past and constant guilt and the flashbacks that give her panic attacks make her even deeper of a character. I personally get panic attacks, so I can definitely say that you described those 100% accurately lol.

Inigo is an enigma, and he seems to still be an enigma at the end of the novel, but at least he's opened up to Hailey. With his personality not being concluded, it rationalizes the need for a second book, and makes readers who like his character to read on! I also liked Donovan at the end, honestly he was probably my favorite character of the whole book (besides Inigo)! Can't wait to see more of him the next time.

Now we'll get into the things that I didn't understand.

1) What was with Dr. Green just hanging up on Hailey? Uh, she's a therapist, so she shouldn't do that. So either you need to rationalize that or have Hailey hang up on her or something like that.

2) I don't get Ari at all. I did when she was just the superficial character at the start, the loving younger sister who keeps track of Hailey as much as Hailey keeps track of her. But later on into the novel, you lost me. I'm guessing that she didn't go through the same thing Hailey did with their dad being killed? Like she wasn't there or something, so she doesn't understand what Hailey went through? I don't know, but that is definitely something to clarify.

Plot 4/10

Okay, honestly, I started off getting really confused... but then once we got to like chapter 3, I wasn't confused anymore. I swear you had a different writing style in the first couple chapters or something.

So this is the section where my criticism will begin to get harsh.

Either I think there was a plot bunny that hopped away somewhere, or you just didn't clarify something. But after the men came in, guns blazing, and Inigo was talking to Hailey about keeping an eye on his enemies, he said that his secretary was the one who ordered it, right? Well only a couple chapters later, Hailey's like best friends with the secretary who'd tried to kill them both.

I don't really know what happened with the empty package, since it wasn't clarified? I'm guessing it was just so someone could drop something off at the door and asked if Inigo lived there? Maybe? That's my inference, but I would clarify why that happened as well.

Also, where's the reasoning behind why McVena doped Brian and everyone else at the interview? I'm guessing that's a second book thing, and if it is, that's fine :) I look forward to it.

THE ENDING:

Okay, I didn't like the ending.

First of all, I think it was completely left unfinished. Yes, you want to entice your readers into reading more... but you can't end the book when absolutely nothing is resolved. You have so many variables floating around, and to end a novel, you need to at least wrap up some of them. Lemme list the things that we don't know at the end of the book: why McVena hates Inigo, pretty much anything about Inigo, the whole Donovan-Inigo thing, Hailey's 3 months aren't up, Ari's still mad at her, Brian's still thinking he might date her, and who knows what Dr. Green is doing at the moment. So like... you need to wrap up at least *some* of these topics, for it to feel like a resolution on anything.

Also, the Inigo POV at the end, I think it was awkward... I didn't really know why you did it at the very end. I'd save that for the beginning of the next book or something. What happened at the end didn't really fit anything in the first book... (This is not me saying your writing style with Inigo was awkward, because I liked it alot. You did great switching the narrators. I just meant as a component of this novel).

Also we still really don't know why she wants to be a psychiatrist at this place so bad. Like I get that her dad owned it, but none of that is explained either.

Grammar 10/15

Your grammar wasn't atrocious, but it could definitely be improved. Mostly it's commas that are in the wrong place or absent when they need to be present.

For example: "Yeah," I admit, relaxing a little. "Hailey."

"Brian," he says, partially grinning.

I'd see about an editor or something...

PS: what drove me absolutely crazy was when you kept using the colors as a noun. They're nottttt.

Perilous cyan, my zaffer stared into his cyan. Like noooo. It's perilous cyan orbs; my zaffer eyes stared into his cyan ones.

Structure 3/5

Okay, so this goes hand-in-hand with the grammar. Maybe a couple times every chapter I did a double take on the way you phrased things. Like for example "lost, trying to gather the energy to face the fate that I had befallen on myself." That doesn't make sense. Like I think you're trying to say, "lost, trying to gather the energy to face my unfortunate fate" or something like that. There are a couple of those each chapter.

Vocab 10/10

Your vocab varied well, and I found no issue with any of this. Heck, some of the words I had to google because I was like "wait I haven't seen anyone else use this before". Like zaffer. Except... I think it's zaffre? Maybe that's not right.

Enjoyment 8/10

Okay, I loved the book, I really did. It's just the ending left me going wait... what?

However, personally, I think that we're inside Hailey's messed up head just a *tad* too much. It's confusing at the outset of the book, but it makes more sense a couple chapters in when I got used to it. But maybe this was your goal. I could see either way! :)

Total 80/100