It's been days since Theoden and I were trapped under the rubble, Theoden died, yet I survived.

Just barely survived.

I haven't told anyone yet, but my mate knew, yet Sora hasn't said anything about it, the ring that was once on my finger with the jewel that saved my life is now gone, it's just a dead rock since that day it's been a constant reminder of just how much I knew Theoden.

He got what he wanted, if not for my quick thinking, I would've never made it out of there alive.

The trinket that had been passed down for generations had sacrificed itself for me, I felt it the moment it saved me from death, I felt weightless to the air around me, and soft voices spoke to me as I looked around a beautiful forest covered in summer flowers blooming.

It reminded me of the garden my mate planted at the palace, the forest was filled with all of her favorite flowers, and the smell alone made me blissfully happy, and content, yet there was a void- something missing- my beautiful mate.

I look at her face now as she wraps her small arms around me and all I feel is... regret.

I've put her through so much heartache and pain, but it's not only Sora, but also my friends, family, and the people of The Vale who depend on me as a Sire.

Dying that day made me realize that every wolf has its day, and that was mine, after I woke up from my death, I knew then and there that there wouldn't be a second time, I needed to make peace with the inevitable, death that comes for us all.

The next time I die will be in the arms of my mate as we go together, just like my parents and theirs before them, to die with your mate is the ultimate sendoff to the afterlife.

Today was the hardest of days I had experienced, to say goodbye to not one but two of my closest friends was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I have seen countless people die, attended send-off rituals for many pack members, and I've killed and stared death in the face, but it's never made me feel like this before.

I'm sinking in a pit of my own regret, Larson and Emma shouldn't have died, it should've been me, and I curse myself every day since the first time I laid eyes upon their bodies.

Thousands had gathered today to send off Larson and Emma, with fifteen minutes of silence to say our prayers for them, the dread of their bodies being lifted to lay them to rest on the ritual bonfire had ignited so much hate, pain, and regret in me that I held on until the end before I broke down in a murderous rage, destroying anything I could in the confines of my house.

The only thing that stopped me from harming myself in my fit was the loving embrace of my mate, if not for her I would have attacked someone, and felt even worse.

I had never felt emotions like that since my children were born, yet even then I didn't weep, I couldn't, I was happy then, but now I feel empty, like a shell of a once-great Alpha wolf.

But I stay strong, like every Alpha before me who bears the name, Black, If not for myself, but for my family, those who serve me, those who love and look up to me as their leader.

The death of Larson and Emma will always be with me, the good and the bad that I have done in this world and the next, they will constantly be a reminder, along with the others who have died for me, that I must make it right and make this world better.

Others will come, there will always be someone out there who wants to kill me and harm my family, maybe not today, or tomorrow, maybe in a few years from now, but I know they will come, and when they do, I will make it right then too.

I'd do anything for them, for my mate, and my people.

I was an Alpha and a King, but now? Now I am something much more, I'm just like the rest of my people, trying to survive in a world too cruel that only the strong survive, and I will survive.

"Kane?" Sora mumbles against my chest. "Are you okay? You're shaking."

Sora, my beautiful queen, I would give everything up to protect her, nothing has changed since the first time I laid eyes upon her, even then I was ready to do anything to change, to be whom she deserved.

"I'm fine, maybe a little cold." I joke, making her scoff.

"You're always hot." She laughed.

I wiggle my eyebrows and poke her in the side of her stomach playfully. "You know, you're turning me on Sora."

Sora looks at me like I've lost my mind, and perhaps I have, perhaps I awoke something while I was trapped under the rubble, waiting on the steps of the moon goddess door.

Or perhaps I simply crave warmth, after being cold for so long, I long for heat, her heat.

I touch my mate everywhere my hands can touch, just to feel that she's real, each passing second makes me long for her even more, just her, us together, to give thanks to the goddess for letting me live another day, to feel this loved.

"There will be more." I start to say, my head resting on my mate's chest as she strokes my hair. "Larson and Emma... I can't promise others won't die because of me, I-"

"They are together now Kane." My mate says softly. "Come bad or worse times, I will always be here, as will your children, your friends, and those loyal to you, you will never be alone, do you hear me? Never."

Swallowing the lump in my throat I nod my head, hugging my mate closer, I smile. "Only you can make me feel so weak, yet powerful."

Sora pulls my head back and puts her hands on either side of my face, making me look at her, she's glaring down at me, and she's pissed, hurt by my words, but I don't understand why, it was the truth.

"This was not your fault Kane, everyone knows that, there was no way you could have predicted this."

I place my hand over hers and laugh. "Beautiful and wise, not a day goes by that I don't admire your strength, little one."

Sora grins and pinches my cheek. "Yet you're the one kneeling, little one." She teasingly says, making me bark out in laughter as I get up from kneeling on the ground.

Standing at my full height, my wolf and I both agree that our mate is no longer that innocent and shy girl we met all those years ago, she's a strong female wolf, strong enough to take me on and put me on my ass.

"Me, little? You wound me, baby." I huskily mutter, leaning forward and inhaling her scent. 

I pick my mate up and make her squeal out as I bite her playfully on her breast. "Let me introduce you to something big, then you can forget calling me 'little' again, Sora."