I can't believe she let me use the computer. The first thing I did was write on all my friends walls on Facebook. I let everyone know about what was going on. While I was on, I noticed Andrea had gotten on too and we started to chat back and forth. Then other friends started to get on and it was like we were all chatting with each other just like we did not so long ago. When Jake got on, I let all the others go and just talked to him. I explained the whole situation and how I wish that we could be together but I knew the long distance relationship wouldn't last. I did tell him that I would always have a place in my heart for him, that no one would ever take his place. I didn't think that it would hurt so bad to let him go, nevertheless we said our goodbyes. I had tried to hold in all the tears afraid that Dr. Givens would want to talk more about that. Before I left the session that day I told Dr. Givens 'Thank you' and that I would see her Saturday.

I did try to eat, then again nothing seemed appealing to me; it was like I lost the taste for food, everything was so bland like when you've had the flu and nothing taste right, nothing. I looked into the mirror, noticing that I had lost a little more weight since I went shopping with Brooke. I could see my bones so clearly through my thin sheet of ghostly white skin. I didn't realize how white I have become, almost like white chalk or ivory. I resembled death considering that I am so pale with black make up on. I missed my long hair, though the new style was kinda cool and less to deal with. I threw on the black skirt along with one of the new black shirts. Then pulled on the black leather boots, letting my feet sink into them. I ran my fingers through my hair one last time making it stick out a little more and then walked down stairs to wait to go to the class.

The room was not that big. Chairs were placed into a circle; I guess for everyone to see each other. JOY! My stomach started to get all twisted like a messed up slinky, so I escaped to the bathroom. When I returned everyone was there waiting on me. Dr. Givens looked up and motioned for me to sit down. I found a chair on the other side of the room. As I sat down I placed my feet underneath me as usual.

Dr. Givens looked around smiling. "I'm glad all of you could make it today. How about we go around the room and introduce ourselves and tell us a little something about you."

Thankfully I was on the other side; I had a little time to think. But when it came to my turn I bit my bottom lip, feeling sick to my stomach again. "Names Shayla; I'm kinda new at this."I shrugged my shoulders as if that was all I had to say. I was glad that she let it go at that. The next part of the session she wanted us to talk more about why we were there. She went out of order and some of the others just started talking without her calling on them. They must be pros at this. I wondered how long they have all been attending these sessions. She called on me, but I waved her on for maybe later. It's not that I'm scared to talk in front of these people it's just that why would they care about my problems. So far one girl talked about her drinking problem; another girl mentioned about her doing meth. A girl with stringy blonde hair started talking about what it was like to be a teen mom. One of the guys talked about getting in a fight at school. He was here about his anger problems apparently. Others talked about other things that I just kinda tuned out. Dr. Givens called on me again.

I tried to brush her off again and the big plump girl interrupted her, "Why are you here if you're not going to talk." She had a northern accent.

"I have nothing to say." I replied.

Another girl, the one with the drinking problem, spoke up, "Sure you do or else you wouldn't be here." She reminded me of one of those nose in the air, stuck up girls back at home. When she talked her nose snarled up making her lips twitch upward.

The guy beside me with the spiked hair butted in, "So fess up; who did you put a hex on."

"Hey dude, just because she looks different doesn't mean anything so back off." Isaiah threatened from the other side of the circle. He looked at me with a slight smile. He wore black jeans with boots. His sweatshirt was gray with the logo of one of his rock bands, looked like it said, "My Chemical Romance". He looked maybe my age, yet he could have been a little older. His hair was jet black, pulled back tightly in a ponytail. I could not tell the color of his eyes from where I was sitting but something about him was mysterious, maybe that's why I remembered his name.

I looked back down. I knew what he was thinking though, that I looked like a witch or something with all the black that I had on. I listened while others started to speak up. Then I yelled, "Fine! Ask me anything. What do you want to know? It's not like anything is going to be kept as a secret or anything." I sounded as if I was back talking my father. How he knew how to get under my skin just like an old splinter finding its way right beneath the skin just so. If it would make them shut up, then fine I would talk.

The plump girl asked, "For starters why are you here?"

"Because Dr. Givens told me I had to come." I knew it was not the answer that she had been looking for.

"No, she means why?" Spike boy asked. "You know are you on drugs? Are you an alcoholic? Did you kill someone?" he smirked.

"Actually I did kill someone." I sneered. I watched his reaction, just the look that I was expecting.

"Who?" he asked. All the others were now on the edge of their seats, dying to hear my story.

"My parents." I exhaled. "My brother." I stared at him dead on in the face.

Dr. Givens spoke up, "Shayla you did not kill your parents; they were in an accident there was nothing that you could have done."

"You're wrong I could have done something. You see I knew it was going to happen before it did. What I can't figure out is who saved me from dying?"

The circle was quiet as they looked upon me. Now, finally something had grabbed their attention. Maybe I was a witch with spells after all. Maybe they should think before they ask me something, before I decided to put a spell on them.

"You're full of it." plump girl said.

"Maybe I am; maybe I'm not. You see I have dreams that just so happen to come true. I knew something was going to take me away from my parents over a month ago. Even on the day that we left to come here the dreams was so intense, so lifelike. I saw what was going to happen, but my father is like you stupid and naïve, refusing to listen to anything that I say. I saw the animal in the road hours before it was going to happen. I could have stalled longer at the rest stop. I could have protested. The thing is, my father gave up on me a long time ago and maybe a part of me did too. Like I said, I should have died right along with them."

"But you didn't; what saved you?" asked the young mother.

"I don't know. Something or someone threw me out yards away from the car. It made sure that I was safe. I don't know how to explain it."

"I do; you're crazy. Who would believe that story?" plump girl added.

"I don't know." I wanted to make them believe. I wanted them to see what I had seen, but how could they believe in such a thing. Maybe I was crazy; maybe my mind was all twisted like strawberry Twizzlers and can't tell from what is real or not.

Dr. Givens shut her book and said, "Well let's take a fifteen minute break. Get up get something to drink, get a snack, go to the bathroom...." She put down her book on her seat and started walking around the room.

I did not go to the bathroom, nor did I eat anything. Instead I got up and walked around the room. Isaiah came up from behind me and stood by my side. He looked at the picture on the wall with me. His voice was so soft now behind me, "I believe."

I continued to look at the picture. "In what?"

"Your story. Some of us have dreams that come true. I have experienced it once or twice myself."

I didn't know what to say next; instead I walked towards the circle to take a seat. He followed behind me. O.K. is this guy for real? He probably just wants to get closer to me, like he would know anything about my dreams.

As he sat down, he introduced himself, "I'm Isaiah. I have been coming here for some time. Just ignore these guys they are all full of it. We are here to feel better about our lives; however some of these guys bring us back down."

I glanced back up at him. "I'm Shayla." I noticed his eyes in that quick moment, crystal blue.

Dr. Givens came over towards us just then. "Shayla I would like for you to eat a little something while you're here."

I rolled my eyes at her. "I'm not hungry. Besides that stuff is not good for you. Can't you see what it's doing to her?" I pointed to the girl that was pretty well over weight with a pile of sweets on her plate.

"We had a deal."

"Yeah I know I'm here aren't I." I said with attitude. She turned and walked away.

Isaiah looked over at me and then at Dr. Givens as she walked away. "She's only trying to help."

"I know, but if I'm not hungry then I'm just not. Who cares what I eat and when I eat? What if I lose a few pounds does it really matter?"

"That depends. Have you lost a lot of weight?"

"Like I'm going to tell you." And even if I didn't, none of it was his business.

"Sorry for asking." He got up and started to walk away.

"I'm sorry," I managed to say before he got too far. He looked back at me and smiled, nodding his head. He sat back in his seat far from mine. Every now and then I would notice him looking towards me.

The rest of the session went by pretty fast. As I was putting my coat back on, Isaiah walked back over towards me. "Hey, you wouldn't want to go out with me tonight would you?"

I couldn't help but smile. I had been right after all. He didn't even know me and wanted to take me out. "I seriously doubt that my Grandparents would let me."

"If I can get them to let you, would you?" He grinned.

"Where would we go?" I rolled my eyes, as if. Why on Earth would they let me go out with a boy that they have never met?

"There is a good movie playing that I am dying to see. I'm going with some friends; however it would be nice if you could go."

"Maybe." I barely got the word out and he was gone. By the time I got outside, he was talking with my Grandpa. Both of them were smiling. This was strange. How did he know that he was my Grandpa?

As I got into the car my Grandpa looked over at me. "So you're going out tonight." He smiled and patted me on the knee. "I don't mind Shayla; make sure he brings you home right after the movie."

"But..." This was awkward. My father would have never let me go off with a boy that he did not know. It took weeks before he let me go off with Jake and even then Andrea had to be with me.

"But nothing; now go on."

"It's three o'clock, what are we going to do before the movie?" I asked.

"I'm sure you two will find something to do, now go on before I change my mind." He pushed me out the door.

Isaiah leaned against his car smiling from ear to ear.

"So how did you do it?" I walked up to him, looking him squarely in the eyes. "How did you convince him to let me go off with you?" I sneered.

"It was like taking cake from a baby." He opened the passenger side door. "Get in."

I don't know why but I did. I watched as he walked in front of the car and got in on the other side. He started the ignition and then put in a CD. "Where to?"

"Like I should know. I have no clue where anything is around here, surprise me."

We ended up at a museum. It was rather small to the ones that my mom used to take me to. "I like to come here sometimes; it relaxes me in a way." He opened the door for me.

"You like art?" I asked a little surprised.

"Oh, Yeah! I take senior sculpting class and an art history class. Do you like art?"

"A little."

We walked around the museum. Not once did he reach for my hand. Even though I think he really wanted to. We talked about the different styles, textures, and techniques. It was a wonderful two hours.

"I'm starving; do you mind if I get a bite to eat before the movie?"

"Not at all."

"Are you hungry?"

"A little." I wasn't lying. I had been a little hungry considering I haven't ate anything since that morning.

He took me to a pizzeria. He ordered a medium hand tossed crust with just about everything on it. I watched as the pizza maker flipped the dough in the air. It was amazing to watch him tossing it up and then catching it like it was nothing.

"What do you want to drink?"

"Dr. Pepper."

I thought he would just get a glass, but he ordered a pitcher instead. We found a seat just for the two of us in the corner of the building, just where the lights were just dim enough for us to see. The pizza was one of the best that I have ever had. We stayed there for a good hour or so. We made small talk. We talked about school and what are plans were for the future. We talked about friends and so forth, not once did we talk about why we had been in therapy. Then we went to the movies. The movie that he wanted to see came on at seven. It was a little scary, but it was pretty good. And for some reason I didn't meet any of his friends. I believe it was just a way to get me to go out with him. Alone. On the way home I did ask him about it.

"What happened to your friends?"

"I don't know. I thought that they were going to meet us at the movie." He left it at that.

We sat in the drive way for a couple of minutes. I could tell that he wanted to kiss me as he got closer to me, but I backed away. "Isaiah I don't want you to get the wrong idea. You seem to be a great guy and all; it's just that I'm not ready to see anyone right now. Actually I have a boyfriend back home."

The smile on his face had disappeared.

"Well had until a couple of days ago and we decided that the long distance was going to cause problems and therefore we should just be friends and anyway I'm just not ready to see anyone like that right now. I just...just don't know what I should do. I shouldn't have gone out tonight. It was a mistake; I don't want you to think that I want more. I....I...." but before I could say another word he kissed me. His lips were so warm against mine. I felt a strong tingling feeling go right through my body. I wanted to kiss him back or have him kiss me again but I knew it was wrong. Because I still had feelings for Jake, my Jake. What was I doing? Is this cheating on him? How could I let someone kiss my lips that only Jake has ever kissed?

My arms came up between us and my hand gently touched his chest. My how hard it felt yet soft. I think he could sense how I felt and then suddenly he started to apologize for his actions.

"I'm sorry; I don't know what I'm doing? Please forgive me for that." He pushed away from me.

There I go hurting his feeling. How stupid of me. "It's alright. I better get inside."

"Can I see you again?" He asked as I opened the door.

"Maybe." I smiled and got out of the car, trying my best not to look back. For if I did; I knew that I would not make it inside the house.

My Grandparents didn't say a word when I got in. They let me go up to my room without stopping me, asking me a million questions. In a way I missed that part of my mom. My Mom would always wait up for me and ask me about my night. She was always fascinated about the things I did. Maybe it just brought back old memories of her school days. I got ready for bed and as I lay down I took the journal out and flipped it open to an empty page and wrote about the evening with Isaiah.

I don't know how he did it but he did. He managed to get my Grandpa to let me go out with him. The museum was fascinating, mainly because he was so intriguing. Doc will be pleased considering I went out. Not only did I, but I had the most wonderful pizza in the world. Isaiah is different. It's like he gets me. Like he knows what I like. On the way home we talked some more and just as I was getting ready to get out he reached over and kissed me. Is this a mistake? Oh! Jake, I am so sorry to deceive you. I have cheated. I don't know if I can forgive myself for this. How could I let it happen but I did and it felt awkward at first but then it was like we connected. I can still feel the tingling sensation in my body. His kiss was so warm and so inviting. What do I do now? Do I tell Jake? Do I see Isaiah again? He wants me to go out with him again, what do I do?

I shut the book and tucked it under the pillow, falling asleep.

***

I stood in the dark suffocating room that smelled of old mothballs, old mildewed furniture. The moon was scarcely visible through the shattered glass window. I heard a small cry that sounded like a baby's cry. A lonely, lost cry. I started to search for it, looking, feeling my way through the darkness. Finally I felt a woven basket with a velvety blanket covering it part way. I bent down to get a little closer, yet a part of me was telling me to let it be. Just as I was about to pick it up, a sound of thundering feet came up behind me. It was my mother. As I looked up at her, I noticed how young she was. Right behind her a man was yelling, 'don't go in someone may be in here.' It was my father. He went to grab her arm, but it was too late she was already bent over the baby.

'There's nothing here but this little baby. Who would have left her? She must be starving.' She went right past me, not noticing that I was even there. She took the baby out of the basket, wrapping it up in the blanket. 'It's a girl.'

'I think we should leave it; I'm sure who ever left her, will come back for her.'

'I don't think so. Whoever left her also left this note.' She picked it up to read. I could see her mouth moving but I could not hear what she was saying. I stood up and walked right up next to her. I could smell the soft scent of peaches and cream on her. The weird thing though was that she could not see me. It was like I wasn't even there.

Suddenly there was a faint cry in another part of the old house. They both turned to go towards the noise. I followed behind them like a lost puppy. In the back room the young girl laid curled up on the floor in a puddle of blood. It was her. I knew her. She has come to me plenty of nights wanting me. She danced with me under the Weeping Willow not too long ago. I stood there petrified.

In her last dying breath she requested, 'please take good care of her. They will come..... so take her; give her a name and a home. Give my little Aislinn a normal life.'

***

My heart pounded as I rolled onto my back. These dreams I cannot explain. They feel so real, as if they just happened. As I pulled my blanket up over my shoulders an aroma of peaches and cream surrounds me. Was my mom trying to tell me something? I could feel her all around me now. If I strained hard enough to look in the pitch dark room would I be able to see her now. Was she actually here in this room with me, with arms wide open for me, to hold me, to comfort me? I forced myself to look, searching the room. Yet there was nothing there as I had already feared. I rolled over onto my side, clinching the blanket so close to me, so tight that my fingers throbbed. I laid there and cried till dawn came shining in the room.