Chapter 40: I am in Love
To return home knowing your beloved is waiting for you is the best feeling ever.
****
The crown of dawn proudly sat over the head of the hills that bordered Aryavarta, cradling Ishgar in its lap. Rays spread out like petals of a blooming sunflower. Golden and orange splashed across the sky in a game of Holi. Even if wasn't the festive season, two hearts secretly coloured themselves in the scarlet of love.
Indumala had not been able to sleep, although Rudra had. He was awake now, but hadn't spoken. She didn't force him either, instead took his hands, the brightness of her face dimming when inspecting the wounds.
"I need to tell you about me," Rudra said. "Don't scold me when I say I won't be able to share everything. Well, one day I will have to, and I am going to respect the flow of time."
"How will you know what is the right time and what isn't?"
"My heart will say. Last night I was itching to tell you what I am, and see how destiny unfolded when I refused to give in to the demand of the luminaries. What's in fate always happens. Willpower can't push it back for long."
Indumala exhaled. "I am ready."
Rudra cleared his throat. "When a child, I knew a woman by the name of Ranavato as my mother. She was actually from Gandhar, I suppose. She married Rajan Madhavan of Aryavarta, who accepted me as his own. I grew up with his other relatives and his first wife Mataraj Pushyaar, the main queen. Forgive me, I won't be able to give you the details of the royal family. Fast forward to many years in the future, the plague happened, and I lost many of my beloved family members. I had a deep bond with the Queen of Gandhar, Gandharvi, and her family. Alas, I lost them too."
Whether it was the dizzy, inebriated state of a morning or the good sleep he had, Rudra was feeling rejuvenated and collected enough to tell everything in an unshaken voice. He masked his sorrows and revealed only what was needed.
"It was during this time that me and Ranavato, whom I believed to be my biological mother, had a heated argument. Let it be kept aside for now. In order to hurt me, she finally confessed that I wasn't her son. She poured in all her hatred for me that she had stored over the years. I was devastated; in a fit of rage, I killed her."
"You killed her?"
"I did. And I have no regret. She had wronged many in her life, disrespected even my adoptive father. She had two other daughters of her own, both from different men. Them too she neglected."
"She cursed you because you lead her to death?"
"Yes."
"Do you remember her exact words?"
Rudra closed his eyes and thought. "O Pasha, son of a whore and a madman, half a pisacha, you jinx the name of a man who has done no crime against you. As the world misunderstands him, so shall be your fate too, I pronounce! You will be rejected by the wise and the fool. Fear and respect though you will command, love will not knock your door. Live to feel his pain, away from the shining beloved. With the third and final boon that I have received, I curse you Rudra, to be stuck in a web of immortality. Turn into a disgusting werewolf, hunting humans and animals alike. Only when the light returns in your life, and what has been left incomplete is brought to fruition, shall you attain liberation."
And thus, Indumala was made aware of the blackened jewels, invaluable words of a woman uttered on the verge of death. She memorised it like a verse out of a mahakavya. There was a solution to break the curse provided too, but at present it was vague to Indumala, as Rudra denied telling her every detail about his past.
"Who is this other man she speaks of?"
"Hamal. Hamal the First."
"That's a nice name."
"But not a nice person. He killed many good people and tortured women in unimaginable ways."
"Is there any Hamal the Second?"
Rudra's brows furrowed. "There is. I will tell you about him later."
"What happened to Queen Gandharvi?"
"Queen Gandharvi went away. I don't know what happened to her– is she even alive or dead? Such a legendary figure, now smudged from history. Her name is still whispered in the lanes of Gandhar, but people now remember her as a villain in Ishgar."
"I have heard her name in the guild. She was a student of Master Makba, and also a Kalika, the highest order of mages. The godly ones. Why would someone so special and revered be also hated?"
"The people loved her all her life, but before departing for the unknown, she cursed Ishgar to have no monsoon and suffer. Mercy being an inherent part of her character, she allowed for three rains to happen each year, so that the harvest would not be a complete failure. After she went away, Gandhar was ruled by Ambalika, who died before your Maa's marriage to Baba."
"Why did she curse us suddenly?"
"She was upset that the Ishgarians belittled a certain someone, blamed an innocent soul for the plague."
Indumala heaved a sigh. "People can be so cruel. I was born during the plague. And they–" She paused and pursed her lips. "Nevermind."
"I have said my share. You must be fair too." Rudra fondled her cheeks. "Tell me, what is it?"
Indumala sat up, curled into a cocoon. She looked around, ensuring that the door was closed. "I have a birthmark. A scary one. People say I am cursed too."
Rudra recalled Dilrobar's words about it. The latter had seen Indumala's mark. "Does it pain?"
"When I was a baby, it used to. I saw nightmares too. They made me so frightened. Master Makba then cast a magic spell on me to lock those. He said those...those were..." Indumala gulped. "Past life memories. They were desperate to be remembered. But I don't want to. I feel weak when they flash in front of my eyes."
Rudra cupped her face and looked into her glassy eyes. "Are the nightmares... about a girl burning?"
Indumala nodded. "Yes. And a man who tries to assault her. But how do you–"
"You had them again in the palace when you went near the forbidden room."
Realisation struck her. "Oh....yes. Yes. So, the spell is broken? But why?"
She tried to remember if Master Makba had foretold anything about the timing. She was just a kid then, so maybe she had forgotten. "I need to ask Baba if he knows anything. Or Master Makba. He will then again seal them."
"Do you know why they wish to return?"
"I don't... What will I do by knowing what I was once? Even though, it does interest me sometimes, but when I know those memories belong to a perilous past, I feel I shouldn't feel them–" Indumala gaped. "Rudra, why are you crying?"
"Can you show me the birthmark?"
Indumala blushed. "It's on my back. I will have to undress then."
Rudra crimsoned too. "It's alright, then. I thought maybe I would be able to help somehow." He fidgeted with the folds of his chiton and cleared his throat.
Indumala drew circles on the bed, her lips pouted. Unable to tolerate the heat of the moment, she turned her back to him and loosened the blouse. "Have a quick look," she said, pulling over her hair to the side. "This is the mark."
Indeed, it was monstrous. It appeared as if several layers of skin had been painted over to hide the seemingly burnt area. It was surrounding the main mark– imprints of a sharp claw, inscribing threat on the maiden's beautiful body.
"Can I touch it, Indu?"
"Yes."
He placed a hand carefully over it. The mark was rough and wrinkled in some places. From beneath the skin, flashes of red shocked Rudra. Was he really seeing them? The mark came to life. The claw shifted and the obsidian lines danced in shadows. Indumala flinched. "It's burning," she whispered. "It hurts."
Rudra placed his forehead against it, letting his tears fall on the birthmark. Indumala's spine stiffened. She was almost naked; a wrong turn and the Rajan would see her in a state unwanted. It would be a grave mistake. Why was he being intimate? But before Indumala could chide him, a sudden cool sensation washed over her. The pain that would otherwise not go away for hours vanished in a moment. The mark stopped glowing.
"Let me tie the blouse." Rudra took it upon himself to dress up her. When it was done, she faced him. "I hope the pain is gone."
"It has, magically. Did you do magic?"
He chuckled. "I just scared the one who gave you this mark. They ran away."
"Birthmarks are said to be unhealed wounds from a previous birth. People say I had sinned greatly for being punished this severely." She shut her eyes and swallowed. "But why would any girl be humiliated by a man as a punishment, and worse, be...be...so injured?"
"Perhaps the girl was too kind and trusted the wrong fellow," Rudra said. He played with a curl of hers, tucking it behind her ear. "Don't be too soft, Indu. The world will find ways to make you cry. But don't worry," he took her hand and kissed, "I am with you this time. I will protect you."
"Last night you removed me as your bodyguard."
"I didn't remove you. I just gave you a choice to reconsider this job."
"I will be what I am. I may not be as powerful as you, and to be honest, some might think what help does even an immortal need? But I have seen you inflicting harm upon yourself so many times. You are mentally vulnerable, and you need to be protected not from burly men and muscles, but from the negativity that surrounds you."
"So it's settled. From now, the Rajan, your friend, will protect you from the bad men. And you will end all the darkness that I hold."
Indumala, floating on the ethereal change of tides, painted the smile of his face in the canvas of her mind, vowing to celebrate it till eternity. She was a lunatic, a girl who finally was defeated by the man she once so deeply disliked. Bathing in the beams of a new morning, two lovers gazed at each other with undying affection. Words need not be exchanged, for the silence was comfortable enough. She placed a hand on her chest, and he, although fearful of being pushed away, dared to kiss her forehead. She hugged him in reciprocation, and he too wrapped his arms around her little body.
They didn't need to tell what was in their heart. Not now. In this moment, they decided to just breathe in each other's embrace, explore how a feathery touch could ignite the most scarlet and desirous of fires. Indumala shivered when Rudra's lips grazed her ears, and he brought her closer to his body when she caressed him.
So they concluded: I am in love.
****
The news of the Rajan being sick was kept locked inside the palace. Even some of the servants and ministers were unaware of it. Complete knowledge was in the hands of the werewolf guards, Devanj, Dilrobar and Mataraj Pushyaar. The two women were actively questioning and testing the rescued women in order to extract possible information. As per Rudra's words, the woman who came to kill him was a follower of Hamal the Second.
Dilrobar hated the fact that this Rajan of Revat was named Hamal. That name reminded her of the sins she had committed. No, not to Hamal the Second, but to the First. Yet, she couldn't cry over spilled milk. What was done was done. Now, she had to use everything she knew against the man who, in some alternative universe, would have been her Master.
She went to Rudra's room to check on him. Closing the door behind her, she removed her veil. The Rajan blew a breath and refused to eat what Indumala offered.
"Why are you not listening to Indu?" she asked. "I know, the antidote the pack has sent doesn't really elevate the taste of the food, but you must consume it for a week."
"It's horrible," Rudra complained.
"You are making Indu's work harder. Don't be a pain."
The Rajan took the bowl from Indu and chugged down the soup in one go, scrunching his nose in disgust. "I will freak out if I have to eat more."
"The pack said once a day will be enough."
Another visitor came in the room– Senapati Aryamna. Dilrobar would always be grateful to this man, for he had a big hand in bringing her to Ishgar and giving her a new life. She never felt the need to hide her face in front of him. He had seen her when she was blue from being bruised badly, so this was nothing.
Aryamna smiled at her. He was always soft to Dilrobar, his voice calm and words careful, as if on alert to not hurt her by uttering anything insensitive. The fact that he probably knew who she was and what her past was like, and still he respected her, was something that made Dilrobar admire the Senapati even more.
"Devanj is calling you, Indu," he said. "Can you go and meet him? He is in the garden."
"Oh? Alright, I am going."
When it was only him and Dilrobar in the room, Aryamna said to Rudra, "You should have been more vigilant."
"I will be more heedful from now," Rudra replied.
"I have something to talk to you on."
"Yes?"
Aryamna glanced at the door. When sure of no footsteps outside, he said, "I don't think you remember that I was wary of sending Indumala here."
"Aryamna, she will be safe. I won't let her be harmed–"
"I was wary of her being with you, the Rajan of Aryavarta."
Rudra's ears rang akin to a gong tolling in the distance. He leaned against the pillows, deflating in strength and dignity.
"I wasn't supportive of her being near you. As a father, it worries me that she should be with a man of your temper. I wouldn't have realised so much years before when I was a youth myself causing rampant chaos, but now I have matured. My wisdom says you are not a great company. Still, I allowed her to be in your service, partly because I wanted her to be an example to society and partly because it was a way for her to grow. In no dream did I imagine your bond with her to transform into something different."
"Aryamna, we aren't–"
"I have heard the guards talking and learnt from them. You know I am good at making people talk and vomit secrets. I am not a diplomat for nothing," he hissed. "You will keep in your mind that I don't like what is developing between you and Indumala."
"Not even if I prove myself to be worthy of her?" Rudra's eyes glinted with rage.
"We will see." Aryamna's throat rumbled. "I am not a fool. They told me you found your mate."
"Aryamna, I am not an immoral man when it comes to such delicate matters. You know it more than anyone else. I will never force Indu to accept me or have any sort of feelings. It's her call. I am ready to be alone if she doesn't want me." Rudra stared daggers at him. "But yes, Aryamna, know that I won't be choosing anyone else."
"I will make sure to test you, Alpha Rudra."
Aryamna got up and thundered out of the room.
"Excuse me." Dilrobar put on her veil and followed the man. "Senapati! Please wait."
Aryamna turned to her. "Yes, my lady?"
"I won't beat around the bush and come straight to the point." Dilrobar was determined to be the part of the good this time. "Senapati, know that some things are destined, and disregarding them may slow down the arrival but not destroy it's truth. It will come."
"What do you mean?"
"Your daughter, Indumala, is Rudra's Luna for a reason. Nature didn't choose her randomly. Everything is thought out by God. Kalika won't mess things up, Senapati. And we should only help her."
Aryamna clenched his teeth. "I understand."
"I respect your thoughts as a father. You should be testing the Rajan. His supremacy doesn't give him a short cut."
"Absolutely."
"Tell me, Senapati, you said you know a lot. Didn't your informers tell you how the Rajan is changing? He is becoming happier, Senapati. He is starting to consider life as life and not survival."
"I-I noticed too. I am happy for him, but–"
"Oh, the but remains! Men are odd creatures, Senapati. I have known many who were such rascals, only to watch them become better in love. It's truly magic. Stupid as it seems, if love is there, things always get in place. Also, neither Indumala nor Rudra has confessed to each other." Dilrobar giggled. "So you still can try to separate them, but I am going to win and make them one."
Aryamna grinned. "Challenge, my lady?"
"Yes. You will lose."
Aryamna bowed to her and left. A carriage waited outside for him to take him back home, to Ishvara.
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