(Long time no see huh, end of the chapter for my notes! )

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(Taehyung's pov)

I gulped. Me and Jimin, we both were arguing for the past fifteen minutes.
Honestly, I have no energy left in me to fight, I stopped arguing but Jimin won't let go.

"NO TAEHYUNG, THIS IS NOT OKAY. JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE TIRED AND YOU WERE AWAKE THE LAST NIGHT, YOU CANNOT JUST SKIP DANCE PRACTICE, OKAY? YOU ARE JUST BEING LAZY. YOU THINK I AM NOT TIRED? "

Jimin screamed at me for the infinite number of time.
The thing is, I don't feel well today so I managed to excuse myself from today's schedule. My members, they were concerned, but jealous as well - cause they all were tired and they all needed some rest. The others kept their emotions in check, however Jimin could not.
Before going for their dance practice, Jimin came to my room and since then we have been fighting. At first I tried to make him understand, I even said sorry, but things got heated up and now, we both are shouting at each other.

"Look Jimin, I know you are tired, BUT YOU CANNOT ACT LIKE THAT JUST BECAUSE I GOT THE DAY OFF. I NEED IT, MAYBE YOU COULD ASK FOR ONE AS WELL?"
I answered, annoyed.

"Maybe, I am more sincere than you are, maybe I actually care about being good enough for ARMY which you clearly don't, you don't care, you are selfish, you only think about yourself Taehyung. WAE?!!"
Jimin once again screamed, this time though he was louder.

I could feel the tears coming but I managed to control them as I said,
"OKAY, FINE, THEN IF YOU THINK THIS WAY, YOU THINK I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH, FINE. BUT JUST GET LOST JIMIN. NOW!"

My voice cracked at the end, so I turned around and ran inside my bathroom. I knew that I would soon start crying and I did not want Jimin to witness my tears.
I slammed the door shut, with a loud bang!

Within five seconds Jimin screamed,
"Taehyung, you are so rude. I hate you"

After ten minutes I came out of the bathroom, only to see Jin hyung standing beside my bed, holding a bowl of cereals.

"Aigoo, Taehyung, I heard some of your fight with Jiminie, I know what he said is hurtful. But he is really tired, he did not think clearly. Please dont take it to your heart"
Jin hyung said as he patted my back.
I nodded, a few tears slipping already.

"Aish Taehyungie, don't cry. Eat your breakfast, you have the entire day so take rest, you will be okay. We need to leave now for the schedule."
I nodded again, wiping my tears away with my sleeves.

After saying goodbye, I sat down on my bed with a thump. I feel worse now. I have a terrible headache, but, who cares?
I looked at the bowl of cereals kept on my table, all I felt was nausea, hunger left my body long back.
I threw the food away, obviously no one would know cause I had covered my dustbin with tissue papers, plus, Jimin was the one to clean my dustbin, cause I often forgot. Since Jimin won't do it anymore, why bother?

I felt too tired to move, I flopped down on my bed.

(Timeskip)

I woke up to a lot of hustle and chaos coming from downstairs, from the living room. The members were back.
With a groan I got up, and walked towards the chaos.

Jinnie hyung and Yoongi hyung, they were busy making dinner. Hoseokie hyung was watching the television with Joonie hyung, Jungkookie and.....Jiminie, they were busy bickering. Jimin looked so, so happy without me being around him.
I tried to ignore the feeling as I walked towards them.
"Hi, hyungs, Jimin and kookie!!"
I grinned.

They greeted me back, asking me how I was doing, well, except Jimin. He looked at me with cold eyes, and without any word, he looked away.
His expression was a mixture of disgust, anger, sadness and other emotions I could not read.
I pushed back the lump that was slowly forming behind my throat.

Just then, Jin hyung announced that dinner was ready.

"Um, hyung, I don't want to eat today, I don't feel very good, I am sorry."
I said, hoping to be excused.

Jin frowned but he finally gave in.
"Okay, just for today. But, take medicines and sleep. No games, okay?"
Jin hyung reprimanded.

Nodding my head, I gave Jin hyung a tight hug as I disappeared into my room.

Honestly, I don't want to eat, cause I don't feel like it. I am tired.
I don't know why Jimin is ignoring me but this is hurting me.
Today, Jimin did say I am not good enough. Maybe that is the reason why he is ignoring me? I need to be good enough, perfect. Isn't it? That's simple, right?

My mind was invaded by such thoughts and God knows when I fell asleep.

(Timeskip)

I woke up with a headache. Yesterday's events flushed back in my mind. Yesterday was a bad day, Maybe, if I try talking to Jimin today again, he might respond?
With a very positive mindset, I got ready for the day.

As I went down for breakfast, I saw all my members except Jimin there.

"Um, guys where is Jimin?"
I asked.

"Oh, he said he's coming, he did not want to though but then I showed my puppy eyes to him, so he gave in"
Jungkook answered in a pout, his eyebrows crossed as he concentrated on cutting the banana into pieces to put them on his peanut butter sandwich.

I ruffled his hair, smiling. But in my mind, I felt terrible.
Was Jimin trying to avoid me.
Just then, Jimin came down.
I really wanted to make things right, so I greeted him with a smile.

"Jiminie, we don't have a busy schedule today, do you want to play video games with me?"
I asked, enthusiasm dripping in my words.

Silence. No answer.

"Or maybe, we could go out together, eat? Or just cuddle?"
I tried again.

"Or we could g-"
I stopped mid-sentence, not being able to finish what I wanted to say, cause Jimin got up from his chair, heading towards his room.

My Adam's apple bobbled as I felt the familiar lump forming behind my throat.
Yet, I did not want to give up.

I ran behind him but he slammed the door on my face.

"Jimine"
My voice was barely audible.
"Please"

I could not control it any longer as tears started slipping out from my eyes. I wanted to straightaway go to my room and not see my members now but that won't be possible cause the route to my room is through the living room. I have to cross the living room to reach my room.

I started walking slowly, my head down as the traitorous tears won't stop falling.
Soon, I was stopped by someone. A hand under my chin forced me to look up.

" Tae, what happened sweetie? Hyung is here. Tell me?"
Suga hyung cooed.

That's when I completely lost it. My face crumpled as I started bawling My eyes out.

My best friend.
My soul mate.
He won't talk to me.
He will only ignore me.
Why? Wae?
Am I that bad?
He hates me.

I started crying more violently. Sobs escaping me, heaving rapidly, gasping for air.
It took almost ten minutes for me to calm down.
That's when I realised that I was cocooned by all my members, my head was on Yoongi hyung's neck, his hand patting my back. Jungkook was back hugging me while Jin hyung and Hobi hyung took my sides. Joonie hyung was playing with my hair, to comfort me. I felt a lot better, but I missed that one person.
Jimin.
And so, I felt terribly empty.

I very well knew that my members were waiting for an explanation so, I just said that I and Jimin had a fight. And that it will be okay.
They did not buy my explanation so I even gave them the dumpling incident example, as they remembered the flashback. I told them that we have fights all the time. I knew they did not believe me completely.

"Taehyung, we have seen you both fight, it is never ever this serious. What is this actually about? Give us the details."
Hobi hyung said, firmly but with softness.

"It's nothing "
I tried giving my boxy grin, eyes glazing once again.

After a lot of confrontation, I managed to convince them and I promised them that if it gets bad, I will talk to them and ask for help instantly.
Also, I asked them to leave Jimin out of this. I begged them...cause...all this is my fault, right?

That day, breakfast was forgotten, plus the members except Jimin thought I already ate, in that chaos or whatever.
My headache grew worse but, I did not give a shit about it, instead, I started practicing the comeback dance in front of my mirror in my room.

(Timeskip)

It has been 3 months since all this. Comeback is almost here, and so the members are really busy. Maybe that's why they don't notice how weak I have become?
Me and Jimin, we still don't talk. He completely ignores me. Never glances at me even. It hurts, but then I am slowly becoming perfect for him. I have been working out so much, I practice the dances, I also go for extra vocal lessons. I have cramps and body pains but I don't take any medicines cause, I really don't care. I don't have time for rest or sleep, at night I focus on writing songs, and I don't eat a lot. I realised that eating makes me look chubby, so I skip that part. It's easy tricking the members, as at first I used to pretend to eat but later throw it away, or I gave excuses like I ate earlier or such shit. But now things are easier as none of them notice because of the comeback preparations.
Sometimes I get really dizzy. But I deserve this...

Today was another dance practice.
Hoseokie hyung was leading today. As soon as the music was replayed, I gave my entire energy. At the end of the song I felt light headed. I gulped down all the water from my bottle as we took our positions once again.
The song was restarted and again we gave our best, but halfway through the song, my vision blurred. I stood and swayed on my feet as I felt dizzy. I crouched down, hoping for it to pass.
I could hear panicked shouts of concern, but could not focus on them. The music was stopped abruptly by someone as I felt someone's hand under my shirt, rubbing my back. Soon, someone splashed water on my face, and guided me to sit on the floor. I was breathing heavily, still dizzy.
After fifteen minutes, I felt better. I took in my surroundings. Jin hyung passed me a water bottle, held it to my lips as I drank slowly.
All my members were surrounding me, and guess what? Jimin was obviously not there. He was nowhere in sight. I felt a pang in my chest.
I have to work harder. I am not enough yet.

I managed to avoid the doctor's check up and just blamed it on the stress from the comeback preps. I promised the members, staff, and managers that I would be fine, I would take care.

But, obviously, I did not. I never will. I won't till I am good enough. So, I started practicing harder, working out more, eating even less, not sleeping at all, and medicines? No way. Soon, things would be perfect and Jimin would talk to me again.

(Timeskip = 4 months)

We are finally done with our comeback. We are in a break right now. So, we have come to Singapore for a vacation. Jimin still won't talk to me, so I am still very hard on myself. The others are also exhausted so they are recovering from all the tiredness. So obviously no one noticed yet, plus I am really very good at hiding..

Today, um, me and Jimin, we are the only ones at the dorm. Cause the others, they all have gone to the universal studios (it's not that we did not go, we all went together the day we came here, its just the 2nd time they are going as it is a reward for winning the last run episode)
The thing is, this is a punishment for me and Jimin cause we lost the last run episode. So as a punishment, we have to clean the house while others get to enjoy. DUH.

They left long ago. Jimin and me, we managed to finish cleaning the insides. Now only the area near the pool is left. We worked in silence and he's still not talking to me. I feel so terrible and guilty and hurt, it's all my fault.

"I would love to clean the pool so please stay inside for once "
I told him in a very emotionless voice, but in reality I just wanted to make up for it and I wanted to make him relax and I wanted him to be happy and enjoy.

Without hesitating Jimin went inside and upstairs as I could hear his door close.
I smiled to myself, I can finally prove myself to Jimin and do something that will make him happy. He might even start talking to me?

I started cleaning the pool in a good mood, humming a positive tune to myself. I was going in a steady pace, but fast. I almost finished the pool, now, only the sides were left.
As I started cleaning the sides, I felt a sharp pain behind my head. I closed my eyes shut, hoping for the pain to go away. It did not. I could feel myself swaying and before I could ask for help, I felt myself falling. Dizzy, and then a loud splash. I realized that I fell into the pool.
I really tried to get out, I struggled but I was so, so tired. I felt myself getting heavier, for some strange reason I felt peace.
I deserve to rest, even for a bit. So, I closed my eyes, succumbing into darkness.

(Jimin's pov)

I closed my door as I sighed. Taehyung, well he's being different. He was sick a few months back, I left the room cause I did not want to see him in pain. I know it was my fault, but then I don't want to confess yet, I am egoistic and I am ashamed for behaving that way. I guess I feel guilty as well.
Taehyung's not been doing very well but who cares. He's annoying. And, now he wanted to clean the pool all by himself cause he wanted to praise the other members and staff. So clever!
I felt anger running in my veins.

Suddenly, I heard a loud 'splash'. It got me shocked. The staff was not in the dorm, it was only me and Tae.
Of course, Tae wants to annoy me cause he has to do all the work alone. He is so so selfish. Damn!

I sat on my bed as I started scrolling through weverse. However, I felt a tiny bit of worry in my heart. For some reason, I felt my heart beating fast. Something was not right.

I could not shake the uneasy feeling off me.
I got up from my bed, left the room and went downstairs towards the pool.

My heart skipped a beat as I saw no one near the pool.
No one at all.
Where was Taehyung?
He was messing with me, right? Just to take revenge?

"Taehyung ah, Tae-ah?"
I called.

Silence.

"Taehyung, where are you?"
I called again, a bit louder.

Silence.

"Seriously Tae, this is not funny. TAEHYUNG??"

Silence, again.

This did not feel right. I ran towards the gate and asked the gate keeper if someone went out from the gate. He said no, I even asked him if he saw Taehyung somewhere. He again said no, and suggested to check the pool again.

Now I could not keep calm, I could not keep my shit together.

"TAEHYUNG???"
I screamed now, almost crying.

Suddenly, I panicked cause, what if he fell?
WHAT IF HE FELL INTO THE POOL?
FUCK.
NO.

I ran towards the pool and looked down, I could see a figure, not moving, slumped.

Without wasting a second I dived in, I took Taehyung in my arms as I pushed myself upwards, carrying Taehyung. I pushed myself out and pulled Taehyung after me. I placed him on the floor as I tapped on his cheeks.

"Taehyung, Taehyung??"
I desperately called out.

"Tae-ah, sweetie? Baby open your eyes. Jimin is so sorry, Jiminie pabo, I promise. Just open your eyes. TAE?"
Hot tears ran down my cheeks as I tried to wake him up.

He was unconscious and totally unresponsive. I placed my hands on his chest, and listened to his breathing.
WHY THE FUCK CAN I NOT HEAR ANYTHING?

"Taehyung, you have to breathe "
I screamed as I placed my palm on his chest once again to confirm but he was actually not breathing.
Shit, am I hallucinating?

Once again I placed my palm on his chest, but this time I removed his shirt, cause even the slightest movement, even the slightest heartbeat would matter to me.

He was not breathing. I felt for a pulse and I could barely feel it.
I had to act fast.

I quickly got up on him, straddling him.
I placed my palm on his chest as I started pushing his chest with my full force. I counted numbers and again I repeated the compressions. It was not working so I stated giving him mouth to mouth. Again, I repeated the compressions, again.
I suddenly realised that since he was inside the pool for a long time, he might have gulped down water.
I placed my hands on his bare stomach, pressing down on different areas, tapping on it as I felt for any excess water. I then brought my ears close as I heard his stomach sounds. I again pressed his tummy after confirming, I made him sit upright, his back leaning on me, as I pushed hard on his stomach. After a few pushes, he started coughing out the extra water, followed by stomach bile. I again got him into a sleeping positing and felt for a heartbeat.
Slight.
I started the compressions again.
After 10 minutes, Taehyung fluttered his eyes open.

I don't know how I could be so calm and think so straight for so long, but as Taehyung opened his eyes, I lost it. I completely lost it.
I took him in my arms as I started howling.
I held him tightly, cause if I even let him go for a second, I felt he would disappear. I tightened my grip as I cried harder, apologies passing through my lips continuously.

"Tae, T-tae, I am so, so sor-sorry. I n-never, I lost you, I am sorry Tae, I-I"
I dry heaved as I cried more.

I looked down as I saw Taehyung looking at me with big eyes, lips blue, face pale. Seeing him so vulnerable, I started shouting, calling his name out loud.

"TAEHYUNG, sorry "
I could not stop.

"I thought I lost you, I could not, you did not breathe and no pulse, I can't do this, you died, I am so sorry, why did you leave me, I can't do this Taehyung "
I cried more.

Soon, I felt his very cold hands on my cheeks, his long, thin fingers wiping my tears. I held his hand as I kissed his forehead.

"J-jiminie, chim chim, it's okay, I am okay, don't cry"
Taehyung rasped.

Hearing him like that, so weak, spilled more tears from my eyes as I just asked him to rest and I sobbed heavily.

I have no idea about how much time went by, but soon I felt hands touching me, patting my back and caressing my face. I looked up and saw all my members around us.
They all had different expressions, seeing them, I started howling again, holding Taehyung closer to me.

Jin hyung grabbed my shoulders as he asked me what happened.
"Why are you both wet? Why is Taehyung not wearing clothes, why are you crying and what's wrong with Taehyung? Are you okay?"
Jin hyung asked.

I wiped my tears as I said,
"we were cleaning but then he said he will clean the pool, I should have said no hyung but I am so stupid. It's my fault hyung"
I cried.

"It's not Jiminie, tell us"
Jin assured.

"Then I heard a sound, I got worried and looked for him but he was nowhere and then I found him in the pool, he was not breathing hyung, not breathing, it's my fault hyung"
I screamed.

This time, suga hyung came forward.
"No, it's not. You saved him Jimin. You saved him, thank you so much. Thanks a lot."
He said, patting my head.

Taehyung was fast asleep.

"Hyung, why is he so thin?"
Jungkook pointed out.

That's when I noticed how thin he was. It was another punch to my gut. How did he get so thin? Why did I not notice earlier.
The others probably noticed it now, as now, all of them had tears in there eyes.

"Kookie, carry him to our room, Namjoon call a doctor, hoseok and suga get warm blankets and all cause he's probably very cold now, jimin come with me."
Jin hyung instructed.

I did not want to let go off Taehyung but I had no choice.

Soon, Taehyung was on the bed, blankets covering him. Heaters on.
I held his hands. He was awake, but too tired to open his eyes.
Namjoon came in with a doctor. He said something in English as the doctor removed the blankets from Taehyung and took his hands to feel his pulse. He timed it.
He slowly then tapped Taehyung's cheeks and called out his name.

Taehyung opened his eyes weakly as the doctor checked his pupils, mouth and his neck for any swelling.

"Okay Taehyung, deep breaths, I will listen to your breathing "
The doctor said as he lifted his shirt up to expose his chest.
Namjoon translated for him as now Taehyung took in deep breaths.
The doctor placed the stethoscope on different areas of his chest, listening to his lungs and heart.
Then, he went on to his stomach and listened to his tummy intently.
He then went on and pressed his hands on Taehyung's tummy, feeling different areas at different depths. He spreaded his fingers and tapped on them to listen to the sounds. He then asked him to breathe deeply to follow the movements. He then took out the portable ultrasound machine from his bag, spreading some gel on his tummy as he pressed the wand on his tummy, getting a better view. After finishing the check up he talked to Namjoon about something I could not understand.
The doctor then asked Taehyung to turn around as he injected him with vitamins on his back. Then, he wrote his prescription and left, all of us thanking him.

Namjoon briefed it for us. He said that Taehyung still has water in his stomach and his breathing is still raspy, nothing medicines can't fix, however, he also mentioned how stressed and exhausted and underweight he looks.

We decided to give Taehyung some time to rest, we could always talk later.
But, we all felt sad. Very sad. We cried, and promised to take care of each other.

(Timeskip)

(Taehyung's pov)

I woke up, feeling sick. All the events came back to me. Shit. Now the members know.

Soon, all the members came in, taking care of me. They made sure I had my medicines and kept me warm, made me eat soup, and soon, they wanted an explanation.

"Umm, sorry guys, me and Jimin, after we fought, since then I felt really bad, and neglected my health and all. I fell into the pool cause I was dizzy."
I explained.

I told them more about how stupid I was to not take care of myself and apologised.

Jimin apologised again as well as the other members, but I simply told them to shut up, cause it's not their fault.

I realised that Jimin can never hate me, cause the way he was crying, it was painful to see. It's really painful to see any of my members cry.

Right now, we all are huddled up in our bed, a flask kept on the table beside my bed to keep me warm. Suga hyung, jin hyung, namjoon hyung, hobi hyung, jungkookie, jiminie, they all are cuddling me and pampering me with kisses.

After all, we all are best friends. And, best friends fight, don't they?

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My notes : so, I really worked hard on this I gave my best, I hope you like it. Let me know, okay? Requests are open.
(This was a request by 31LouisTomlinson31