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[ artwork creds to Kanzaki on deviantart ]
(C/N) = child's name

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[ 2 8 ]

"Are you sure we shouldn't check in?"

"No, they'll be f-."

"I-I'm going to call."

"Babe!"

Kakashi grabbed your phone and slipped it into his coat pocket.

"They'll be fine, I promise."

"I just... we've never left him with them before and I'm-"

"-just worried. I know. But we need this time together."

You sighed.

"I know. I'm sorry."

Kakashi smiled and gave you a gentle kiss on the cheek.

"Can we leave now?"

You nodded as he interlaced his fingers with yours, and continued walking out of the cinema.

Ever since your son, (C/N) was born, you and Kakashi have not been able to spend any quality time together. Although there have been a few sweet moments, they were always short lived since one of you always fell asleep mid conversation.

This led Kakashi to plan a simple outing, or a date night, for the two of you, which was something you finally agreed to after much persuasion. Although, there was still one problem: (C/N).

Originally, you had asked Kurenai to help watch (C/N) for a few hours, but, much to your dismay, she got sent on a last minute mission a few days before your date. Not wanting to cancel your special night, Kakashi came up with an idea, which left your precious baby in the hands of none other than Asuma Sarutobi and Might Guy.

At first, you were a bit skeptical about their "parenting" abilities, but when (C/N) took a special interest in Asuma, to which Guy literally cried over, you felt a small hint of relief.

This allowed you to go less reluctantly on your date, and really enjoy quality time with your husband.

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Meanwhile, Asuma and Guy were having a bit of a difficult time.

"Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo, baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo, baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo, baby shark. Mommy shark, doo doo doo-"

Asuma groaned and ran a hand through his hair in frustration as Guy viciously rubbed his eyes.

"We've been watching the same goddamn video for two hours!" Asuma said, attempting to wriggle the arm that was numb from the weight of the baby.

"I know, but this video retains the youthfulness of the Hatake spawn." Guy replied, resting his head on the back of the couch.

"I swear, if I have to watch this video one more time, I'm going to throw the TV out the window."

"-Grandma shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo, grandma shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo, grandma shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo-"

Asuma eyed the remote longingly.

"Hey Guy."

"Hm?"

"Change the channel."

"But all that's on at this hour are infomercials."

"Who cares? Anything is better than this stupid baby shark song."

"All right..." Guy said as he sat up.

But as he picked up the remote, however, (C/N) began crying hysterically.

Guy dropped the remote in a panic, to which the baby stopped crying entirely.

"Wait... pick up the remote again."

Guy did as he was told, and as soon as he did, the child burst into tears once more.

"What the-"

"Wow... this is definitely (Y/N)'s kid all right." Asuma chuckled, as Guy attempted to place the remote back on the table.

However, in the process, all hell broke loose when he accidentally shut the TV off.

(C/N) began wailing once again.

"WHAT THE HELL GUY!"

"I-I'm sorry! I don't know what happened!" Guy said, turning the TV back on. "Wait, which channel was it?!"

"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHI- shhh, shhh, it's ok, don't cry, Uncle Asuma's got you - JUST FUCKING SCROLL THROUGH ALL OF THEM!"

"I-I CAN'T FIND IT!"

"LOOK AGAIN!"

As they both frantically scanned the television for the "baby shark channel", with Asuma steadily rocking the crying baby back and forth in his arms, the remote died.

"Why aren't you changing the channels?!"

"I-I can't!"

"WHY NOT?!"

"I think the remote ran out of battery?!"

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Asuma exclaimed as he looked up at the screen, which was currently playing a rather raunchy movie. He quickly covered the baby's eyes.

"Press the buttons on the TV then!"

"THE TV DOESN'T HAVE BUTTONS!"

"SHIT!"

The two men looked at each other wide-eyed in panic.

"Is there any way to turn it off?!"

"I-I don't know!"

The baby began squealing louder.

"Oh Kami save my soul. This can't possibly get worse." Asuma said, right as a rather R-rated scene began to play.

The sounds of slapping skin began to fill the room.

Guy's face went pale as he stood there, panicking.

"OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD-"

"HOLY SHIT WE GOTTA TURN IT THE FUCK OFF!"

"HOW?!"

"I DON'T KNOW! FIGURE SOMETHING OUT!"

Guy looked around the room in a frenzy, desperately trying to find something to fix the situation at hand. However, after finding nothing, he came to the worst possible conclusion.

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!"

"Wait wh-" Asuma began, before seeing a green blur slam into the tv.

Shards of glass flew everywhere as Guy removed his foot from the television, looking rather proud of himself.

Asuma stood there, wide eyed in shock.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK GUY!"

"What?"

"YOU DESTROYED THEIR FUCKING TV!"

"Well did you have a better idea?"

"YOU COULD'VE TRIED COVERING IT WITH A BLANKET OR SOMETHING!"

"But then it would've-"

"ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN THAT!"

"Well, in my defense I-"

"We gotta clean this up. NOW!"

"Ok, ok." Guy said, retrieving a broom from the closet.

"Fuck! There are glass shards everywhere!  How are we going to explain this to (Y/N)?! She's fucking scarier than Kakashi on a bad day."

"Use the baby as a shield!" Guy said enthusiastically.

"Are you seriou-" Asuma sighed and said a silent prayer to Kami. "Look, we gotta fix this before they get back or we're going to be in a whole world of p-"

"What's going on in here?" A sudden voice said, taking both Asuma and Guy by surprise.

They turned around sheepishly as they saw a furious (Y/N) standing in the doorway.

The baby stopped crying instantly upon seeing his mother.

"So?" You asked, taking (C/N) from Asuma, "Care to enlighten me?"

"W-we were just..."

Kakashi looked over at the TV screen.

"And what happened to the tv?!" He asked angrily.

"I-I..."

Guy dropped the broom in his hands.

"Fuck."

Your eyes went wide open as you looked down at (C/N), shocked at the word that just came out of his mouth.

"ASUMA!"

Needless to say, after that experience, the two men remained celibate for a long, long time.

[ W C : 1 1 2 2 ]

Comment here if you know what this scenario is inspired by :)