Poem - CW| teen pregnancy, abortion

february nineteenth twenty-nineteen

Twelve years ago I was 16 and pregnant with you.
We didn't know what to do.
But I knew I loved you then.

Eleven years ago I was 17, I cried a lot, and i knew deserved to feel so blue
After all, I had done away you.
I still loved you then.

Ten years ago I was 18 and pregnant with your brother
It was selfish, one teen pregnancy and then another
I still loved you then.

Nine years ago I was 19 and your daddy was away from us
He had to leave to make a way for us
I still loved you then.

Eight years ago I was 20 and pregnant with your sister.
Times were hard and he was gone and man he really missed her
I still loved you then.

Seven years ago I was 21 and pregnant with your brother.
I'd figured out by then that I was born to be a mother.
I still loved you then.

Six years ago I was 22, sadder than ever, and I really fucking missed you.
The days drug by but damn that time, it really flew.
I still loved you then.

Five years ago I was 23 and had three kids under four.
Daddy worked his ass off, we fought so fucking hard, and we hit some rocky shores
I still loved you then.

Four years ago I was 24 and we landed on an island.
I had never seen so much sunshine but I was anxious — and ...
I still loved you then.

Three years ago I was 25 and back home in Nashville.
I didn't want to be, but my mom had fallen ill.
I still loved you then.

Two years ago I was 26 and the military was a thing of the past.
Life was hard but we were learning fast.
I still loved you then.

One year ago I was 27 and they told us having babies was out of our reach now.
It made me think of you, some ... how.
I still loved you then.

And now I sit here, twelve years later ...

Still wishing to see your face and memorize everything about you.
I bet you'd look like your daddy just like the rest of them.
You'd have a big smile and you'd always let me in.
I'd hold you tight when you'd get sad and —

— I'd still love you.

I'm so sorry.

xo_kae