"Maine kabhi apne dil ki baat apni zubaan pe nahi aane di... jab tak tumse nahi mili thi." Naina swallowed as she began her story.

She looked at Sameer, "Tum woh pehli khwahish the, Sameer, jiske baare mein maine Preeti aur fir Swati ko bataya tha... woh pehla sapna the jisse dekhne ke baad maine bhagwan ji se uske poore hone ke liye prarthana ki thi."

Sameer stared at her in wonder... sixteen years of her life, she kept all her dreams, her wants, the smallest of her needs hidden away not only from her family but also from God, never wishing them to be fulfilled.

"Tum bhagwan ji se toh keh sakti thi na." He voiced his thought.

She lowered her eyes, "Mujhe apne liye kuch bhi maangne mein aisa lagta tha jaise main swarthi ho rahi hun... jab mere papa aur bhaiya itni mushkilon se guzar rahe hain, chachaji itni mehnat se apne parivaar ke saath saath mera bhi bojh utha rahe hain, toh main apne liye kaise kuch maang sakti hun... woh bhi tab jab... "

"Kab?" He prompted when she became silent for a few seconds.

She swallowed hard, "Jab yeh sab meri wajah se hi ho raha tha."

"Tumhari wajah se kya ho raha tha, Naina?" He failed to understand how she could be responsible for the hardships of her family.

"Mere paida hone se hi hamare ghar pe musibatein aane lagi thi... tabhi sabka bura waqt shuru hua tha... usse pehle sab theek tha... Arjun bhaiya aur Pooja didi the ghar mein... mere aur Preeti dono ke aane ka intezar tha sabko, bas yeh nahi pata tha ki hum dono ladkiyan hongi... aur taiji ko bhi pata chala tha ki shaadi ke itne saalon baad unke ghar mein ek nanha mehmaan aane wala hai." She talked as if she was aware of the happenings even before she was born.

"Yeh sab kaise pata tumhe?" Sameer asked.

She looked up at him with a rueful smile, "Saari zindagi itni baar suna hai yeh sab ki lagta hai main paida hone se pehle se hi parivar mein rehti thi."

He held her hand and made her sit on the bed, after propping up a pillow behind her. Sitting in front of her, he smiled and nodded slightly to make her go ahead.

"Mere aate hi sab badal gaya... sabse pehle mummy chali gayi... doctor ne kaha maa aur bachche mein se ek ko hi bacha payenge... papa aur taiji ne keh diya ki maa ko bacha lijiye... lekin meri mummy apni aage ki zindagi mujhe deke chali gayi... doctors ne bohot koshish ki par unhe nahi bacha paye... aur maine apni hi maa se zinda rehne ka haq cheen liya... khud ko zinda rakhne ke liye... uss ek zid ki wajah se main dubara kabhi zid kar hi nahi paayi." Her voice choked up.

He so wanted to take her in his arms, but he knew if Naina could not speak now, he wouldn't be able to make her talk again easily. He held her hand, giving her strength to go on.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she continued, "Mere aane ke ek hafte baad hi taiji ki tabiyat kharab ho gayi... doctor ke paas jaane pe pata chala jisse woh khushkhabari samajh rahe the woh koi infection tha jiski wajah se taiji ko bhram ho gaya tha... aur unhone seedha iss naumeedi ka zimmedar mujhe bana diya... do mahine baad Preeti aayi... ek aur ladki se chachaji ke alava sab dukhi hue the... thoda dukh chachiji ko bhi hua tha... aur fir kuch dinon baad chachaji ko naukri chodni padi, kyonki woh company band ho gayi thi... mere paida hote hi papa ne mujhe beti manne se inkaar kar diya tha... woh bas chote se Arjun bhaiya ko sambhalte the... uss waqt papa ka alag ghar tha, jahan woh Arjun bhaiya ke saath reh rahe the... mujhe chachaji apne ghar le aaye aur ab Preeti bhi thi... bada parivaar aur aise mein naukri na hona... unki takleefein badh gayi thi... aur inn sabka liye taiji mujhe hi doshi maanti rahi... unke dil mein mere liye nafrat bhar gayi thi kyonki unhe laga mere aane se hi unki sabse badi khushi unse chin gayi."

"Lekin Naina, unhe toh koi aur problem hui thi na... kuch khoya thodi tha unhone." Sameer was perplexed as to how she was blamed for losing something that was never present in the first place.

She nodded, "Yeh unhe kaun samjhata... woh ghar ki badi thi... papa aur chachaji ki shaadi karwayi thi unhone isliye sab unhe izzat dete the aur unke aage chup rehte the... tab se hamesha unhone mujhe hi kaaran samjha apni khushi pe nazar lagne ka."

The hatred Sameer had for taiji increased manyfolds.

"Papa ne bade school ki naukri chod ke paas ke school mein le li, jisse woh zyada waqt Arjun bhaiya ka khyal rakh saken... unki salary bhi kam ho gayi... paison ki kami hone lagi... tab tauji ne kaha ki papa agar unke saath rehna chahe toh reh sakte hain... bas apna ghar bech ke woh paise tauji ko de dein aur unhi ke yahan rahein... papa isliye maan gaye ki Arjun bhaiya ko taiji ki dekh rekh mil jayegi... tabse woh dono tauji ke saath rehne lage aur main toh hamesha se hi chachaji ke yahan thi." Her eyes seemed to be lost somewhere.

Sameer could immediately understand the greedy and wile intentions of tauji.

"Zyada choti thi tab ka toh yaad nahi par baad mein kabhi maine taiji ko Arjun bhaiya ka khyal karte nahi dekha... ek baar chachiji kisi ko bata rahi thi toh maine sun liya tha ki woh aur tauji apni baaton se papa ko hamesha yehi ahsaas dilate rahe ki unhone ahsaan kiya hai papa aur Arjun bhaiya ko apne ghar rakh ke... papa bhi unki har baat maan lete the, ek toh woh bade the aur doosra, papa ko bhi pata tha ki ab unke paas rehne ka koi thikana nahi hai."

Sameer could now understand the bitterness of Rakesh resulting from the frustation of being dependant on his brother.

"Par tum toh chachaji aur chachiji ke saath thi na... woh pehle tumhe abhi ki tarah pyar nahi karte the kya?" He asked.

"Woh hamesha se pyar karte the mujhe, lekin taiji ka zyada roub chalta tha dono gharon mein... unke aage koi kuch nahi bolta tha... aur main unki aankh mein sabse zyada chubhti thi... meri sabse pehli yaadein taiji ke thappadon ki hi hain... khelne jaati toh, kapde gande hote toh, kuch haath se gir jaata toh, Preeti kisi baat pe roti toh bhi taiji mujhe hi maar deti thi ki maine hi rulaya hoga... chachiji bachati thi mujhe par taiji itni zor se haath modke kheenchti thi ki do din tak haath dukhta tha." She rubbed her arm.

Sameer held her arm, stroking it, anger flaring inside him.

"Ab tum purani baaton pe gussa mat hona... isiliye main nahi batana chahti thi tumhe." She saw the movement of his clenched jaw as he softly caressed her arm.

His eyes shot up... even without him uttering a single word or even looking at her, she could feel the boiling rage in him.

"Tumhari taklif se dard toh hoga na, jaan... tumhe bhi toh hota hai mere liye." He lifted her hand to kiss on her fingers.

The touch of his lips filled her with a gentle calm.

Closing her eyes, she continued, "Maine shayad kabhi bachpan mein kisi khilone ya chocolate ki maang ki hogi jab bohot maar padi thi... woh waqya toh yaad toh nahi par itna yaad hai ki bohot jaldi maine seekh liya tha ki jo bhi milta hai bas wohi hai mere liye... mujhe kuch maangna nahi hai... Preeti kabhi kabhi zid karti thi toh chachaji uske liye kuch laate the, tab mere liye bhi laate the... mujhe pasand napasand ka koi khyal hi nahi aata tha... jo milta tha wohi mere liye sahi tha, chachaji bhi kisi ke saath kaam karte the isliye paison ki kami thi... hum log shayad fifth class mein the jab chachaji ko nayi naukri mili... aur ekdum se sab badalne laga... naye kapde, achha khana, mithai... ghar mein khushiyaan aane lagi."

Sameer could see a serene smile on her face as she reminisced about the better days.

"Lekin taiji ko bardaasht nahi hua ki main naye kapde pehnu... chachaji ek safed rang ki frock laye the mere liye... main khushi se usse laga ke dekh rahi thi aur gol gol ghum rahi thi ki taiji se takra gayi... waise toh mujhse unhe kya chot lagi hogi, par unhone hangama kar diya." Naina sat up straight, her eyes open now, her face strained with the memory.

Flashback

"O bai... ladki hai ya cement ki diwaar... itni zor se lag gayi mujhe... bas naam hi Naina hai, tere naino se dekhne ka kaam bhi mar liya kar. Dikhai nahi diya ki main aa rahi hun?" Taiji roared at the shivering eleven year old Naina.

"Taiji, aapko bhi toh dikhayi nahi diya." Preeti said innocently.

As Bela hushed her daughter, taiji flared her nostrils, "Ab iss karamjali ke saath reh ke tu bhi badtameezi karna seekh gayi hai."

"Par bhabhiji, Naina ne kab aapse badtameezi ki?" Bela forgot everything and rounded her eyes.

Taiji simmered with anger, "Iski sabse badi badtameezi thi ki yeh paida hui hamare ghar mein... aur aate hi sab kuch satyanash kar diya... sabki khushi mein aag laga di... aur ab iss manhoos ko tum log sar pe chadha rahe ho... Bela, Anand babu ka toh dimaag ulta hai hi tu bhi nasaamajh ho gayi hai kya... arre teri dono betiyon ki kundali ko bhi jala degi yeh dekh lena... aaj iske liye jo yeh naye aur chamakdar kapde khareed rahe ho na, kal ko ismein lage daag ko kaise chupaoge?"

Bela pursed her lips, not liking what she was saying but keeping quiet as her husband always asked her to maintain silence in order to avoid any friction in relationships.

Taiji was not satisfied even after spewing enough venom. She grabbed the dress from Naina's hands, searching around frantically. An evil smile appeared on her face when she found the scissors.

Naina watched helplessly, tears streaming down her face as taiji cut the beautiful dress into shreds.

"Aaj se Naina ke kapde sirf tailor ke paas silenge... aur jaise main khaungi waise." She threw the heap of strips of what was once a pretty dress before storming out of the house.

Flashback ends

Sameer cupped her face, wiping the tears that spilled down her cheeks.

Naina blinked hard to control the overflowing emotions at the memory, "Tabse maine sirf gehre rangon ke dheele dhaale kapde hi pehne Mumbai ke shuru ke dinon tak."

Sameer remembered her drab, ill fitted clothes during the initial days of college. When they were in school, he had always seen her only in school uniform, except the farewell saree... which was a simple one but her beauty and grace could not be marred by it.

"Tumhe dil nahi karta tha baaki sabke jaise stylish kapde banwane ka?" He couldn't help asking.

She lowered her eyes, "Maine kaha na, Sameer... dil ki sab ichhayein maine dil mein chupani seekh li thi bohot pehle se... chachaji ki nayi naukri se haalat thode sudhar zaroor gaye the par chachiji ne Pooja didi ki shaadi ke liye paise bachaane shuru kar diye... main toh waise bhi kuch nahi mangti thi par ab taiji ne har baat mein mere liye hi katauti karni shuru kar di... woh toh meri padhai bhi chudwa dena chahti thi."

It was become increasingly difficult for Sameer to control his anger towards the woman who had given so much pain to his Naina.

Her eyes filled up with fondness, "Chachaji ne iss baat pe unki ek nahi suni... unhone kaha Naina padhegi aur jab tak chahe padhegi... usse jiss college mein jaana hoga main bhejunga... usko apna bhavishya banane ka mauka dunga."

Sameer smiled at her imitation of chachaji in a heavy voice.

With a shrug, she carried on, "Bas yehi ek ujala tha meri zindagi mein... ki mujhe school jaane ko milta tha... padhne ko milta tha... warna ghar pe toh khane tak... "

She stopped abruptly, looking at him... this wasn't something he would be able to bear.

His ears had caught the last words. Frowning, he narrowed his eyes, "Khane ka kya, Naina?"

She gulped, muttering courage to speak up, "Zyadatar taiji ka parivaar hamare yahan hi khana khata tha... chachiji banati thi, taiji bas pakda deti thi... mujhe kabhi unhone ek roti se zyada nahi diya... ek baar woh kitchen se roti ki plate leke aa rahi thi... uss din school mein bohot der tak dance competition ki practice ki thi... main thaki hui thi aur bhook bhi bohot lagi thi... taiji ne jaise hi poocha kis kis ko kitni roti chahiye, mere muh se nikal gaya 'do'... unhone itne gusse se mujhe dekha aur baaki sabko roti de di... fir mare paas aake mujhe aadhi roti deke kaha ki ghar ka saara ration mujh pe nahi luta sakte."

This time, Sameer couldn't hold himself. He pulled Naina in his arms, stroking her back as tears spilled down his eyes.

His own life seemed to be far more privileged... he had borne only the pangs of loneliness, but Naina had gone through every torture possible... besides being rejected by her father, she had been deprived of the most basic things... something he took for granted all his life.

I know it's a heavy one... but Naina had to bring out this pain to empty her heart and soul of all the past sufferings. Please don't be disheartened. Once this is done, we'll have our same happy, romancing Samaina back

Next update tomorrow evening