Matters of heart
Sameer found Naina still sitting on the bed when he came out after bath. It was somewhat surprising for him because she usually was seeing the breakfast and tiffin preparations when he got ready for office in the morning. Though Ramdhari insisted that she should stay away from kitchen work, she liked to help in small ways, by chopping the salad or cutting fruits or packing the tiffin. Sameer had to instruct Ramdhari not to stop her from doing such light chores as he knew Naina wanted to remain involved in all things pertaining to him. Also, doctor had mentioned that it was better if she remained active, as long as she didn't exhaust herself.
But this morning... seeing her sitting with her head tilted back to rest on the headboard, eyes shut, hands wrapped over her stomach... left him tensed.
"Naina, tumhari tabiyat theek nahi hai kya? Kuch alag lag raha hai toh batao, hum abhi doctor ke paas chalte hain." His worried voice made her open her eyes.
Standing in front of her, just after his bath, he made her heart skip a beat... no, several beats as the water droplets slipped down his frame.
He could see no sign of pain or any discomfort on her face. Her eyes were telling a completely different story as they moved over him. He took another step towards her, running a hand through his hair. This one action of his, especially when his hair were wet, made her go weak... every single time... and he was well aware of it.
Her eyes shot up to his forehead, where a wet, errant strand was back, having defied his fingers.
His eyes glinted in anticipation. When his wife was admiring him openly, he wasn't the one to move in any direction except towards her.
Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he looked into her eyes.
"Tum kaho toh aaj office se chutti kar leta hun." His voice was husky as he lifted his hand to graze her cheek.
The soft, porcelain skin turned red instantly. She lowered her head, turning it slightly to the side.
"Meri tabiyat theek hai. Tum office jao." She murmured.
He took her hand and placed it on his chest, right over his heart, "Lekin meri theek nahi hai."
His heart thudded under her hand. The damp, cool skin against her burning palm heated it even more.
"Sam... Sameer, tum office ke liye ready ho jao. Main... main tumhara breakfast..." She stuttered, fighting the wave of different types of feelings flooding her heart.
He was so handsome, so perfect. The evening exercise routine that they had started at the beginning of her pregnancy had chiselled him even more. She was only doing some very light movements, and meditation... but he utilised that time to workout properly. And it showed. Her exercises were meant to relax her, but the results of his workouts were doing the opposite to her now. The fresh smell of soap, mixed with his musky, masculine scent was further creating havoc with her system.
"Jaan, sach mein... aaj mera subah se hi mann nahi hai jane ka. Ek din se kuch nahi hoga." He threaded his fingers behind her hair.
"Nahi Sameer. Tum abhi naha ke aaye ho. Main toh... mujhe itne paseene aaye the abhi... tum... tum jao... jaake taiyar ho jao." She held his wrist to take his hand away from her hair, not very comfortable with her present state.
He leaned closer, stopping just a few inches away from her face, "Naina, tumhe pata hai na, tum mujhe hamesha khoobsurat lagti ho... fir aisi baatein kyon kar rahi ho? Mujhe koi farq nahi padta. Tum meri Naina ho... tumhari ek jhalak, tumhari khushbu, tumhara ek baar choo lena hi kaafi hai mujhe pagal karne ke liye. Aur agar tum chahti ho toh main leke chalta hun na abhi... naha lo."
The need reflected in his eyes too. But she was more conscious now.
"Please Sameer. Mujhe achha nahi lag raha. Tum... tum jao." She shut her eyes, trying to stop the tears that threatened to fill them up.
After a few seconds, his touch was gone. She could sense that he was moving around the room, preparing to leave. She did not open her eyes. Her entire being screamed to be in his arms, but in the corner of her heart, she compared her bloated self to his chiselled body. Even her fingers felt thick and pudgy when he linked them with his. They looked mismatched. There was no scepticism about his feelings towards her... his love was boundless... but she felt inadequate.
"Naina, main jaun?" His voice was close.
She nodded.
"Promise karo ki agar tabiyat theek nahi lagegi toh ussi waqt phone kar dogi." He said gently.
She nodded again.
"Aankhen nahi khologi?" There was a hint of sadness in his voice.
"Mujhe neend aa rahi hai. Ramdhari ko kehna mera breakfast yahin le aaye... bye, Sameer." She managed to speak without letting her voice break.
He stared at her for a while. Her mood was not okay, he could make out. But his staying back forcibly could make it even worse.
"Bye jaan. Khyal rakhna apna." He said in a heavy voice, leaving the room.
She held on for another few minutes, before letting the tears flow. There seemed to be something twisting inside her throat... she didn't know why she was crying but the tears didn't stop for a long time.
Outside, he asked Ramdhari to take her breakfast to the room, telling him to call at office if it appeared that Naina was not feeling well. Ramdhari assured him that he would take care.
It was quite late in the afternoon when she finally left the bed. The crying had left her feeling exhausted. Though there was no physical distress... she just did not feel like doing anything. But after having breakfast, and then, even lunch in bed, she wanted to freshen up now. A sudden cloud seemed to have lifted and she felt lighter. While taking bath, she decided to shampoo as well though she had done it the day before.
The red dress she chose to wear was from her earlier days. Then, she wore it with a belt, but now it fitted around her middle perfectly. She observed her side profile in the mirror. Though her stomach was big now, she liked how it made her feel. The gloominess that had surrounded her since morning had dissipated as suddenly as it had gripped her. She smiled at her reflection. All that had been giving her a dejected feeling till now made her feel elated and proud now. She was going to bring their baby to their world... a world full of love. The new addition would add to their happiness and make their family complete.
She opened the top drawer and brought out the hair dryer. Sameer had placed everything that she needed in the topmost drawer, so that she doesn't have to bend. His thoughtfulness filled her with warmth. As she finger combed her hair, before switching on the dryer, her morning behaviour filled her with regret. He always tried to make her feel beautiful and desired... and she was aware that he actually found her so. Still, sometimes, her stupid, overthinking mind ruled over her heart and took her on a totally different track.
"Tumhari mumma bohot pagal hai, baby. Aur tumhare papa duniya ke best husband hain... dekhna, best papa bhi banenge." She stroked her tummy.
"Lekin tumhari mumma zyada achhi hain... mujhse kahin zyada." His voice made her turn in shocked surprise.
He walked in with a smile, folding the sleeves of his black shirt.
Her heart lurched. The black shirt with black trousers was making him look strikingly handsome. She cursed herself for keeping her eyes shut in the morning.
"Mere peeche se meri tareef karti ho... saamne bhi kardo na." He reached behind her, holding her waist as he rested his head against hers.
"Tum kaise..." Her question was left incomplete as he bent his head to place a kiss on her cheek.
"Mera mann nahi laga aaj kaam mein. Bas aisa lagta raha jaise tum bula rahi ho. Isliye chala aaya." He extended his hand to take the dryer from her.
She did not move from her place when he plugged it in, and started to dry her hair. Watching him through the mirror, she noticed how he deftly took portions of her long hair and moved the dryer over them, keeping the required distance. In a few minutes, a soft, silken curtain fell on her back. He winked at her reflection, and walked away.
She was again left confused, watching his back as he went towards the balcony. After pushing open the door, he turned. The room filled up with a cool gush of air.
"Mausam bohot achha hai... tumhe pasand hai na aisi hawa." He smiled.
Instead of coming to her, he went to the dresser, and took out the walkman.
"Yeh tumhare liye laaya hun. Lekin aise nahi dunga. Sunne mein zyada achha lagega." Fishing out a cassette from his pocket, he waved at her.
She waited, wondering which song was he going to play.
Taking slow steps, he reduced the distance between them as soft music filled up the room.
Going behind her, he wrapped his arms around, eyes fixed on her in the mirror.
Baahon ke darmiyaan
do pyar mil rahe hain
baahon ke darmiyaan
do pyar mil rahe hain
Jane kya bole mann
dole sunke badan
Dhadkan bani zubaan
Baahon ke darmiyaan
Swaying at the same place, he leaned closer to her face. She tilted her head to the side, looking up at him. As the romantic song continued to play, his eyes turned darker. Gliding his nose against her cheek, he pressed it against her forehead. Her breath started to get uneven, feeling his rising heartbeat against her back. Their faces touching each other, their heated breaths falling on each other, their eyes locked... the cool air lost its affect.
She raised her hand, placing it on his cheek. A smile appeared on his face.
"Dekho khud ko, Naina, kitni sundar ho tum." His voice was raspy.
Her eyes glanced at their image.
"Tumhare saath hun isliye sundar hun." She whispered.
He let out a shaky breath, unable to keep himself away any longer. Turning her slightly, he moved in front of her, and leaned to close his mouth over hers.
His kiss showed everything... his love, care, adoration, desire, need.
Even when he lifted her, walking towards the bed, their eyes could not move away from each other.
After laying her down, he narrowed his eyes, "Tum abhi naha ke aayi ho... mehek rahi ho... aur main office se, iss tarah paseene mein... tumhe achha nahi lagega na."
And she knew what he wanted to convey. Nothing mattered to them when they were together... the feeling that pulled them to each other, the longing that melted them, the warmth that engulfed them, the heat that seared them, the desire that overtook them... these were all matters of heart. Their hearts saw the other one as most beautiful... always.
"Mujhe tum har tarah achhe lagte ho." She whispered, slowly moving her fingers over the buttons of his shirt.
He looked down at her hands as she carefully opened the two of them.
"Meri Naina aisi toh nahi hai." His brow arched, teasing.
With a twisted smile, she jerked at the remaining ones, making them go flying.
"I Love You jaan." He smiled proudly before claiming her lips.
The song, that was playing repeatedly as he had put it on such setting, matched their passion as they lost themselves in each other's arms, giving in to their burning desires.
Later, as he sat in bed, with her leaning on his shoulder, he took her hand in his.
"Naina, yeh jitne bhi badlaav tum mein aa rahe hain, yeh tumhe badal nahi rahe... behtar bana rahe hain. Kyonki yeh sab hamari beti se jude hain. Tum ab pehle jitni khoobsurat nahi, pehle se kahin zyada sundar lagti ho." He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand.
She took a deep breath, "Pata hai, Sameer. Bas kabhi kabhi tumhe dekh ke... matlab tum bhi pehle se zyada achhe lagne lage ho... aur mujhe lagta hai main ab thodi ajeeb dikhti hun."
He looked at her, placing a finger under her chin to lift up her face, "Main sach keh raha hun... har din tumhare chehre ki chamak jaise badh rahi hai, mera dil karta hai ki iss baby ke paida hone ke baad humein fauran doosre ki taiyari kar leni chahiye. Tumhe aise hi dekhna chahta hun main... doosre ke baad teesra... fir ek aur... ek aur."
Her eyes widened in horror, "Tum... tumhara dimaag toh theek hai?"
He grinned at her panic stricken expression, "Mazak kar raha hun. Itni bhi jaldi nahi hai mujhe. Woh toh baby ko promise kiya hai isliye bas ek aur."
"Sameer ke bachhe." She gritted her teeth.
"Haan wohi... Sameer ke bachhe... ek yeh aur ek iske baad." He winked, placing his hand on her belly.
Next update tomorrow evening
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