Expression
As the last of students left, Sameer tilted his head slightly to look at Naina. She still sat in the same position, staring at an open book.
"Class khatam ho gayi, Naina," he said in a low voice.
She pursed her lips, to hide their quivering, and closed the books.
Sameer got up to move out from the desk... and Naina did not wait to keep the books back. Holding them in her hand, she quickly slipped past him, before he turned fully in her direction.
This time, Sameer was quicker. He held her wrist, stopping her in her tracks.
"Chalo mere saath," he said in a firm voice, not allowing her a say.
Naina walked along him to the library... he held onto her wrist gently but not letting the grip loosen even for a moment. They kept the distance minimum between them... to make it look like a normal walk together.
She showed the first sign of surprise when he crossed the library, going towards the staircase.
"Sameer yeh..." She murmured.
"Shh..." He shushed her, without looking in her direction, going up the steps.
Naina followed him, having no other option. Once they reached the terrace, he brought her far from the door, then turned and bolted it, not leaving any chance for her to run away.
When he turned towards her, she was facing the other side. He walked upto her slowly...
Naina was in a mess. She had the same twisting feeling inside her stomach that she felt before exams... only, multiplied many times. Her palms were damp with sweat.
Sameer placed his hands on her shoulders... and she stilled. Yes, he was close now... her heartbeat plummeted as he slowly turned her to face him.
Naina closed her eyes.
Sameer saw her face gone almost white... and her eyes shut. She clutched the sides of her dress, bunching it up in tight fists.
He gently brought his arms around her, giving and taking the much needed comfort. Her hands did not leave their position.
He waited, to feel her arms around him... but she stood holding her dress on both sides. He stepped away a little, hands closing over her fists. With his thumb, he opened her palms. He held the delicate wrists and brought her hands to encircle himself.
Feeling the hesitation in her movement, he cupped her face, tilting it up.
"Naina, meri taraf dekho." His voice was soft.
She continued to take short breaths, eyes still closed.
He gently kissed her forehead, urging, "Aankhen kholo."
She swallowed, opening her eyes slowly, not able to look at him straight. Her eyes were fixed at a point on his neck, near the collarbone. She had to keep her lower lip under the teeth to stop its quivering.
He pushed her face further up, "I Love You, Naina."
She shot a look at him.
He nodded, "Pehle se bhi zyaada."
She continued to gaze at him for a few moments. His eyes showed the love he confessed... his features were soft, a gentle smile played on his lips.
She lowered her eyes, along with her face.
Sameer again lifted her face, "Jab Rahul ki shaadi mein maine tumhe woh nishan diya tha na, toh mujhe baad mein laga ki maine bohot galat kiya hai... gussa aaya khud pe... darr lagne laga ki tum pata nahi mere baare mein kya sochogi... par tumne kuch nahi kaha... kyon? Jab main uss din tumhare kamre mein aaya tha toh maine woh nishan dekhne ki koshish ki... tumne bina soche woh mujhe dikha diya... mujhe laga tum shayad meri iss baat se naraz hogi... par tumne aisa nahi kiya... kyon? Jab maine tumhare dil pe kiss kiya tha tab laga ki tum shayad thappad hi laga dogi... par tumne toh uske baare mein kuch bola hi nahi... kyon?"
Naina frowned at his questions, "Mujhe kehna chahiye tha kya?"
"Haan bilkul, tumhe mujhe kheench ke thappad marna chahiye tha har baar ki Sameer, tumhari himmat kaise hui mere itne kareeb aane ki... tum hote kaun ho mujhe aise chune wale." He brought some anger in his imitation.
"Aisa kyon kehti? Tumhe mujh pe poora haq hai... tum toh ab ek tarah se pati ho mere... fir aise gussa kyon karungi? Tum agar mujh pe apna haq, apna pyar nahi dikhaoge toh kya kisi aur pe dikhaoge?" Her brows were still furrowed.
He smiled, "Utna hi haq tumhara bhi hai, Naina... mujh pe... tum jaise chahe mujhse pyaar jata sakti ho... mujhe choone se darne ki zaroorat nahi hai, meri jaan... fir kal se itni pareshan kyon ho?"
Her heart flipped again... her palms turned sweaty as she recalled the previous night.
"Naina, tumhara pyaar mere liye ek pooja se kam nahi hai... uske liye kuch bhi galat sochogi toh tum meri pooja ka apmaan kar rahi ho." He pressed her shoulders.
His words made her look up.
"Sameer, woh kal... pata nahi... main... Sameer, maine tumhe..." She found it difficult to speak about it.
"Kuch nahi kiya tumne jisse tumhe aisa mehsoos ho... agar tumne apna pyar dikhaya toh kya hua... mujhe sach mein itni khushi hui ki main bata nahi sakta... Naina, mujhe kabhi kabhi aisa lagta tha ki kahin main zabardasti tumhare kareeb toh nahi aata... par uss din apne kamre mein tumne mera woh bhram door kar diya... ab mujhe bilkul koi ghabrahat nahi hoti... par tumhe aise dekhke mujhe achha nahi lag raha... tumhe kis baat ka darr hai yeh toh batao." He tried to soothe her.
"Mujhe aisa nahi karna chahiye tha, Sameer." She covered her face with hands again.
He engulfed her in his embrace, "Tum hamesha aisa hi karna... hamesha... mujhe dekhna hai... tumhara pyar... kyon rokna chahti ho khud ko... Naina, please, agar tum aisa bologi toh mujhe bhi khud ko rokna padega... kya tum yehi chahti ho?"
"Nahi, nahi... tumhe aisa kuch karne ki zaroorat nahi hai," she was quick to answer, stepping back to look at him, her hands on his chest.
He gave a lopsided smile, his arms still at her waist, "Oh, toh tumhe achha lagta hai jab main..."
His fingers dug into her waist. Naina turned scarlet at the implication of her sudden action.
Sameer was relieved to see the hint of smile at the corner of her lips. But she still needed to be comfortable about expression of her feelings.
His one hand slowly moved up her back, up to the neck while one encircled her waist... plastering her to himself.
"Aise achha lagta hai?" His voice was heavier.
Naina nodded.
He nuzzled his face in her hair, "Aise achha lagta hai?"
She slipped her hands to his back, "Haan."
His lips moved over her ear, "Aise?"
She shivered, "Hmm."
He trailed down the neck, stopping to kiss at the base, "Aur aise?"
Her hands clutched the fabric of his shirt, "Hm."
He lifted his head, gently fisting the hair to pull her back... to see her face.
Colour had spilled from her cheeks to the neck but her eyes were open as she gazed into his.
"Main bhi yeh sab mehsoos karna chahta hun, Naina... kya tum karaogi?" He whispered.
She lifted her hands to the back of his neck and pulled him. Starting with his forehead, she placed small kisses over his eyes, on the cheeks, tip of his nose and moved to his ear. Slowly, she left a trail from his ear to the neck, not stopping. She moved on to his jaw, up to the chin and went down the column of his throat, reaching the base of the neck. She peppered him with kisses till the closed button of his shirt... till she could feel his skin.
Eventually, when she looked up at his face, the gratified expression said it all.
"Jab tum iss tarah mujhse pyar karti ho toh pata hai kaisa lagta hai?" He rubbed her cheek with the back of his fingers.
Her shoulder jerked up, as she tilted her face to the side... they had shared so much closeness but still a light touch of his fingers on her face made her go weak in the knees.
"Bataun kaisa lagta hai?" He asked again.
She nodded.
He rubbed his nose with hers before answering.
"Lagta hai ki jis tarah main pagal hun tumhare liye shayad uska ek chota mota hissa tum bhi pagal ho... thode se sapne toh tum bhi dekhti ho." He teased, watching her to see the effect.
Naina fell for the bait instantly, "Achha, main bas chota mota hissa? Tumhe lagta hai tum hi sapne dekhte ho? Agar maine bataya na kaise sapne aate hain mujhe toh... "
She slapped her mouth before spilling any more details.
His smirk made it clear that the damage was done.
Before she could lower her head again, he held her face between his palms, "Yehi sunna tha mujhe... aur janna bhi hai ki kaise sapne dekhti ho... waada karta hun tumhare saare sapne sach karunga."
She did not shy away this time.
He was glad, "Dubara kabhi aise bhagna mat mujhse... main raat bhar so nahi paaya... ek baar socha aa jaun tumhare paas... fir laga ki shayad tum darwaza hi nahi khologi... subah bhi kitna intezaar kiya... tum kya uthte hi class mein aake baith gayi thi?"
She recalled how nervous she had been... the night had not been easy for her...
"Woh main... subah samajh nahi paa rahi thi... ki... ki tumse kaise... " She stuttered.
"Buddhu, mujhse ab tak sharmati ho? Naina, hum sab mein ek jaise ahsaas hote hain... alag alag mauke pe alag tarah ki feeling aati hai... kabhi khushi, kabhi gussa, kabhi dukh, kabhi naarazgi, kabhi pyar... aur kabhi yeh kareeb aane ki chahat. Aur agar tum aisa feel karti ho toh yeh mere liye khushi ki baat hai ki main tumhe aisa mehsoos karwa paata hun... main tumhare andar uthne wale har ahsaas ko dekhna chahta hun... jaise tum sab kapdon mein achhi lagti ho waise hi tum har feeling ko khul ke jatate hue bohot achhi lagti ho." He clarified further, tucking one strand behind her ear.
His intense and profound words erased whatever little doubt was left in her mind.
He saw the traces of confusion disappear from her eyes... and a lightness spread over his being. Finally, he had been able to assure her that there was nothing wrong in expressing her desires.
"Ab mujhe kya milega iske badle?" The mischief was back in his tone.
"Kiske badle?" She narrowed her eyes.
He looked at her in wonder, "Arre, ek toh kal din mein itna tang kiya... fir raat ko aise tadpa ke bhaag gayi... aur subah se pareshan kar rahi ho... ab itna sataya hai toh thoda dose bhi milna chahiye na."
"Umm... dose... ab kya dose dun jo pehle nahi diya?" She tapped the side of her forehead, sounding casual as if thinking about the dose of medicine or food.
His eyes brightened instantly... anticipating a lot of new things.
"Tum kaho toh main kuch idea dun?" He offered, voice heavy with excitement.
She shook her head, "Nahi, tumhara idea nahi, yahan main apne idea se kaam chala lungi."
He held her tighter, not able to contain the fervour rising within.
She traced one finger lightly along his face, starting from the forehead, over his nose, moving over the lips, going down the throat till she reached the neck. Lifting herself, she placed a kiss on his collarbone.
Drawing a sharp breath, he waited.
She kissed again, moving to the side of his neck, over the collarbone.
He waited.
When she stopped after reaching the edge where his neck was covered with shirt collar, he fidgeted.
"Naina, yeh toh pehle bhi... " His complaint died down as her teeth nipped the skin while she pushed the fabric of his shirt away from the neck.
A loud gasp escaped his lips.
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