Kaari crept down the stairs with her tightly packed satchel hanging loosely from her shoulder. She didn't want to look suspicious if she was only supposed to go away for a day. But she planned on running away. She had packed an extra pair of clothes, her pencils, a bigger sketch book than the one that was in her saddle bags, and her black cloak that she had worn the day her brothers were kidnapped. She had sown the tear in the corner earlier that morning while she had schemed a way to escape her parents. 

She wanted to pack as much as she needed since she was hoping her grandmother would let her stay a little longer than what was planned. But she had to pack lightly to avoid any problems. She also hoped that her clothes looked fine. She was wearing a plain grey tunic, one of her favorites, and black pants with fitted, light work boots. She also wore a belt with her dagger attached to it hidden underneath her long tunic, hoping the satchel would hide the bump of the weapon. 

As Kaari peeked out from the stairs, she found her mother and father in a hushed argument, presumably about Kaari. Her mother looked more distraught then Father, his face twisted with a look of frustration. 

Kaari was hoping to take extra food with her since she wanted to take a small detour on the way but it didn't look like she could. Unless....

Kaari stepped off the last step with a soft thump, the heel of her brown boot scuffing the wooden floor. She turned into the kitchen, hoping that she looked nonchalant as she tried to brush past her quarreling parents. She briskly grabbed a water skin that was in one of the cupboards and wrapped a hunk of bread in a small white cloth. 

As she tucked the extra supply into her stuffed satchel, Father turned towards her and coughed rather loudly. Kaari glanced up at him, hoping her eyes didn't betray the fear rattling through her. 

"What are you doing?"

"I'm preparing for my journey to Grandmother's," Kaari explained flatly, continuing to rearrange the items in her bag so everything would fit. She started to stride past the two adults but her mother caught her arm. 

"Wait," she whispered, her brown eyes pleasing. Kaari quickly shook her off, shoving down the trickle of hope worming inside her brain. Now is not the time to get your hopes up! Knock it off, Kaari! she scolded herself, turning away from her mother to hide her mixed feelings.

"What?" Kaari asked, her voice more angry than she wanted it to be. Mother took both of Kaari's shoulders and forced her to meet her eyes. "Kaari, your father and I,"—Father coughed again but Mother ignored him—"have been talking. And....I've realized that we've been putting you in the dark a little too much." 

Congratulations. It took you thirteen years to figure that out, Kaari's mind rebelled. But she didn't say that, instead she focused on what her mother was trying to say. 

"I just wanted to tell you that we truly do love you. You are our daughter after all," her mother swallowed hard, and paused. After a moment she cleared her throat and continued. "I hope that we can start over and you'll forgive your father and I's behavior."

She added other things to the apology but Kaari's mind was reeling. Oh, so nows the time you decide to tell me this? You didn't really notice the signs that your daughter pretty much grew up without you? I'm probably more independent than James and William! I learned everything without you two! And you didn't even notice?! Oh sure, your great parents. Karri also didn't miss the fact that Father was staying quieter than he had been for the past month. 

But her mind snapped back to attention when her mother mentioned her grandmother's. "....but we've decided to let you stay a week."

Kaari's mood shifted to a better state. A week? That was way better than a day! Kaari tried to look excited but her heart still dragged. Her mother kept saying 'we' but it only seemed to be her. Father kept his mouth shut and when Kaari met his gaze, his piercing blue eyes only screamed anger. Don't worry, Kaari silently assured him, I won't be staying much longer.

Kaari hadn't noticed that her mother was watching her expectantly, waiting for her reaction. Kaari shuffled her feet and dipped her head. "Thank you," was all she said and when she looked back at Father, his expression screamed fury. Kaari gave him a halfhearted fake smile and turned back to her mother. 

"Thank you for noticing my concern," she began, trying to keep it as formal as possible. "I just hope that later, we can get along better and live life without so much arguments." 

Mother obviously noticed the formality and pulled Kaari into a hug. Kaari stiffened and waited for the embrace to end. She was happy her mother finally got it—well most of it—but she might be moving too fast. She had stayed in the shadows and not payed much attention to Kaari for most of her life and stayed silent when Father criticized her constantly and now, all of a sudden, she wanted her very much alone daughter to get all close and personal like they had been best friends forever. 

As Mother let her go, Kaari noticed tears streaming down her cheeks. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her father glare harder and move protectively to Mother's side. Obviously he didn't care.

Kaari felt her mouth to dry as she watched her mother weep. For the first time in years, she felt a pang of sympathy for her. Maybe it was both parties not cooperating. Maybe if she had tried reaching out to her mother, it wouldn't be like this. 

Maybe if she tried to at least talk with Mother...

Maybe if she paid more attention to her actions and tried to relate....

There were too many maybes to think through right now so Kaari swallowed and opened her mouth to speak but Father cut her off. "Maybe we should continue this conversation a little later..." he said, pulling Mother to his side. 

Kaari stared at him blankly, her mind screaming too many different retorts that  they all just jumbled together in a strand of random letters and words. But as she backed away to pack better, a thought wriggled through the overload of possibilities and thoughts and stayed with her the rest of the morning. 

Maybe she shouldn't leave. 

Maybe she should just try the new beginning and start over.

Maybe...