It was already 5pm when I entered our quarter again. The late fall sun was falling through the yellowed windows. As soon as I entered the room a long-known smell rose up my nose and I walked over to the sink. It was old and already had some fissures and cracks. I turned on the water and the rusty sludge ran all over my hands. I waited a second until the liquid turned a bit clearer and washed up the makeup that smeared all over my face. I looked up into the mirror and refreshed my eyeliner. With a smile I noticed the heart in the upper right corner of the cracked mirror. I touched the cold surface and eyed it up. It was drawn with a dark red lipstick. Ravi gifted it to me for my 20th birthday. I kept it since then always with me. I chuckled and smiled. I drew this heart because it was the first thing he would see in the morning when he wakes up and I'm not with him. We weren't always able to sleep together at night. Sometimes I had to work late at night and didn't see him for a few weeks but that did never hurt our relationship. We weren't able to call or text each other when I had to work away from him but I knew that he would be waiting for me like he did always.

I stood up and pulled up my ripped fishnet tights while my high heels click clacked on the old oak floor boards. I could see the little dust flakes dancing through the air in the warming sunlight while I walked over to the old filthy couch. I stroked over the rough fabric and sat down while I tried not to move to fast. I slowly grabbed his warm hand and rested his head onto my thigh. While I caressed his flaming red hair I had to smile. This couch and the love of my life... I thought about what has happened on this couch 10 years ago. When I was 7 this furniture was standing in the living room of my parents' house in California. Ravi and I went to school together and we were best friends since kindergarten. Our parents were good friends and so they often visited us and so he became a huge part of my life before I were even able to notice it. He was yelling at the boy who ripped my drawings in kindergarten and he beat up the boy that pulled my hair in elementary school. He protected me from the bad neighbourhood kids and he walked me home from school all the time to make sure that I arrive at home safely. Things changed when puberty began. He spent less time with me and I couldn't get why he was avoiding me. I shook my head. No. This is a terrible memory. He avoided me completely until he came to visit me with his parents in the summer holidays. Our parents asked us after dinner to leave them alone so that they could talk about adult things. He had to come with me. And I took him with me to the basement where we had billiard pallor. I just took his hand and dragged him down there. I dragged him down the 25 stairs while I was stumbling and crying. I closed the door behind us and started to hit his chest with my fists while I was bawling and yelling at him. He just stood there and waited till I was done. His eyes were cold as always and his jaw line sharp as a knife. He picked me up to the couch from our living room where we were always playing when we were younger that we moved to the basement. He put me down and kissed me. We sat there kissing for hours. He never told me why he did avoid me. But from that day one he made me his girlfriend. On this couch I lost my virginity 2 month later. On this couch we smoked our first joint together and in general we spent our whole life on this garbage pile of fabric. I allowed my head to fall down to one side. Still looking at Ravi I remembered more things. I remembered how we sat there learning for our graduation. He was playing with my hair all the time and threw small pieces of paper with love messages written on them into my direction. I ended up throwing my math books down onto the floor while I was hectically opening up his pants. We really loved each other in every way. And so our love survived high school and we moved out from home. We bought our first tiny apartment and took the couch with us. We were partying a lot when we went to college together. But college wasn't our thing. We had to do so much other stuff and our work life was hard and between work and sex there was not much time for studying. Ravi was 21 when he bought the tattoo gun. He designed all his tattoos on his own excluding a few I drew for him. Each of his tattoos that covered his toned upper body was dedicated to something we experienced together. I slowly caressed the 4 crooked hearts on his left blade bone. Right after we dropped out of college to concentrate fully on our work I got pregnant. We were even happier than before but we weren't supposed to be lucky. I lost the child after I got beaten up while we were on a mission. While we were searching our target I got found by some army spies and they beat me up till I was unconscious. Ravi was totally devastated but we couldn't change it. I never got pregnant again but not even this tragic loss was able to part us.

Ravi's hands were getting colder. I leaned over to kiss his forehead. It was sticky and smelly but I didn't care. I caressed his shirtless upper body. Last night left some noticeable damages on his skin. I stroked over all the scratches that I left on his soft skin. His neck was cluttered with love bruises and my lips were still swollen at that point from his consuming kisses. I felt the warm liquid running down my legs and new that it was the time. I slowly put his head down on the couch again. I covered him with a blanket and kissed his forehead one more time before I picked up the gun. I put it into the seam of my panties and refreshed my makeup one last time before he entered the room.

His uniform was as black as in the fatal night in summer 2012 when I lost Ravi's baby. I did not lock the room because I didn't want him to break in. I already waited for him. "Oh. I see. You put on some makeup for me. You look good. But all this blood over your thighs..." He looked down with a sarcastic smile onto me. "That really looks dirty." "I don't want to talk anymore. Let's just end this." The man took off his black SWAT jacket. "Are you in a hurry?" "Yes I am." "Why are you so sparing with words today? You were always yelling at me when we saw each other in the past. And your man even attacked me once." "He would have even attacked you more often if I wouldn't have hid from you all the time." "I know. That's why I'm so glad that I was finally able to meet him last night. It was very... enlightening. I can assure you that he really loved you." "Why did you do it?" "I don't know. It seemed right to me. I mean he was so sad about your child that..." I pulled the trigger all the way and shot him 4 times into the head. I didn't want to listen to his monologue anymore. Enough is enough. I am a criminal since I was 16. I killed together with Ravi about 50 men. Most of them were human trafficker, whoremongers and other kinds of human scum. We robbed about 15 banks and I was living on the run half of my life. They weren't able to catch us for years. But the loss of our child was harder than going to jail. But we still had us. We had.

I walked up to the couch again and kicked away the head of the man. Ravi's blood was running down my legs and I lay down on the couch next to him.

Bonnie and Clyde.

Bonnie and Clyde.

One night.

Who cares? Who cares?

Till we die. Till we die.

Even if this is our last night.

I took of my wedding ring and laid it down on Ravis hands that were chilled to the bone. The life has already left him so many hours ago. I pressed his hand till it was closed around my ring and his blue pale lips one last time. I wrapped my arms around his with blood covered torso and pulled the trigger one last time.

The result is already out of my hands.

Bang Bang!

Right now. Right now.

Where you at right now?

Where am I right now?