She was right, it's going to be difficult to forget about him. From anger, to longing, to just surrendering everything to time, she spent her days being reminded of the love she lost. It was completely different with how she felt with Asher, or the shallow crushes she had when she was younger. That's when she knew that her love for Ahn Ki-Ryeong is the real deal.

She not only carried the memories they spent together in the three short months he stayed in her world, but also the memories of the other Lilac. Those dreams made it harder to forget about him, and she can't deny, there was a time she viewed them as a burden. 

But along the way, she came to realize that maybe, fate gave her those memories so she could cherish them. The universe knew how precious they were for the other Lilac, and it doesn't want those moments to die along with her. So she embraced them.

Days, weeks, months and a whole year passed, and her life continued how it used to be. She learned how to focus on what and who she had, instead of those she lost. Though, there are times that she can't help but reminisce, especially this particular day.

"Oh pretty! Who sent them?," Reiko walked closer and touched one of the tiger lilies.

Only about half an hour is left before tonight's show starts. They're currently at Impact Arena—the venue for their Thailand concert—and to kill time, she decided to check the flowers and gifts sent to her. Among the bunch is a bouquet of tiger lilies, yellow tulips and white roses. The variation of flowers is quite uncommon for her, so it immediately caught her attention.

Sadly, there is no card in sight. "I don't know... Manager Jung, do you know who sent this?," she then turned to the woman.

The manager shrugged, "there are too many flowers and gifts sent every concert, so we don't really bother checking the senders, anymore."

"Hmm... a secret admirer, perhaps?," Jada's teasing voice came from the other side of the room, making some of their crew turn to Lilac, too.

The latter playfully rolled her eyes, "come on that's—"

Wait... tiger lilies?

She froze, as the the hand holding the bouquet slightly trembled. She hurriedly walked towards where her bag is and brought her phone out.

To: Kio Satanic Version
Did you send me flowers?

From: Kio Satanic Version
In your dreams. The fuck would I? You better stop with your delusions, Ayutthaya.

To: Kio Satanic Version
You have a tiger lily tattoo, right?

From: Kio Satanic Version
What are you on? Yes, I have one. It's my birth flower. Now leave me alone.

His birth flower. Her eyes travelled back the bouquet as her heart repeatedly told her that it's from him.

He's here? Is he here? Did he come back?

Since that day, she would receive the same bouquet every month. Whether before a concert, after a music show performance, in a photoshoot or when she's simply staying at home during an ordinary day. By the third time, she decided to inform Kio about it when they had a get-together with their common friends. The bastard just shrugged and laughed like the lunatic that he is.

Clearly, they're back on hating each other. Though unlike in the past, they can now stand hanging out with their friends and being in the same room.

The '97-line—especially Gun and Soonho—kept asking the two of them what happened the first couple of months. Soonho even tried pursuing her again after a month of Kio 'going back to his old ways,' and their supposed 'breakup,' but she quickly stopped his attempts.

Over time, some kind of agreement between her and Ki-Ryeong was made; they have to use the same excuse so the others won't get suspicious. And that lame ass excuse is—it just didn't work out. But lo and behold, it turned out to be effective because everyone actually stopped asking.

"What if you fall for him?," Aera asked when they met up once.

Lilac found out a week after Ki-Ryeong left, about her and Hei-won being in the same situation as them in the past. That's how the two of them bonded, and eventually became close friends.

She instantly burst into fits of laughter, "that... that chauvinistic asshole? No way! Come on, don't insult me like that!"

"I'm just saying... he got the same face as Kio—no, he is Kio. What if you develop feelings for him once you unconsciously start seeing him as, you know, the other?"

"That won't happen, they're not the same person," she confidently replied.

Her companion smiled and tilted her head, "I'm just worried... thinking that that's what happened to Kio—your Kio, I mean. Didn't he fall in love with you because he sees you and the other Lilac as one?"

"I once thought that way too," she ruefully smiled back, remembering the time she was still filled with rage towards the guy. That was one of the reasons she used to convince herself to hate him after he left, until yet another memory opened her eyes;

"But I remember how he once planned destroying the hourglass just to stay here with me. He chose to let go of the last present the other Lilac gave him, just to be with me. When I was reminded of that, I knew that I may have reminded him of her sometimes... but he's still willing to choose me. I'll take what I can get."

She was sure she will never fall for that evil version, because the best one already took a piece of her heart with him when he left.

.°•⏳°.•

Another year had passed and the monthly bouquets never stopped coming. She started looking forward to them, and even though she tried to stop assuming that it's from him, she can't. She knew hoping might just end up hurting her, but it was what her instincts tell her again—and she always trust her instincts, remember?

Maybe he visits every month to send me flowers? Maybe he's reminding me not to forget about him because he's gonna come back soon?

"Nervous?," Seo-mi took the seat beside her. They're inside the waiting lounge of an awards show along with some other girl groups. To say that she had been dreading about this particular show would be an understatement.

Five months ago, she made her solo debut by releasing a mini album with two songs and unexpectedly, it was a big success. Both her title track and B-side went viral in South Korea and all over the world. Until today, they're still charting and believe it or not, the organizers of the award show asked her to perform for the closing. What's more surprising is their company accepting the request!

She is now set to perform two songs with her group, followed by her title track as the show ends. This obviously means that she's closing the show alone which is beyond nerve-wracking. Not to mention, she will perform right after RAVN—who, in her opinion, deserves the finale stage more. 

The announcement of the schedule of performances caused clamor among fans, of course. Some were upset, saying the global superstars must close the show just like the years prior, while some were glad to see a change after years.

"I can't even think straight, Seom," she pouted, facing their eldest.

The leader chuckled, "am I really talking to the Lilac Ayutthaya? Hmm... where did the confidence go?"

"You know this is different! Why did the boss agree to this? I thought the company had some kind of feud with the show organizers?," she groaned, her shoulders slumping in defeat.

"Usual fake news, you know how netizens love drama. I bet it's because you'll win Song of the Year! Don't you see how big of a deal this is?"

There she goes again! That's another thing, the members have been teasing her about winning one of the major awards tonight. Yes, it might be obvious now with how she was chosen to perform her solo for the closing but... she willed herself to ignore it. She can't let it go to her head, or else it will just worsen her nerves.

"You can do it, you're Lilac of K4RMA," Seo-mi winked before standing up, and going to where Jada and some members of the other groups are.

After a few minutes, the red carpet show began causing the room to gradually become less crowded. She stayed seated alone, still trying to calm her nerves, until she felt presence beside her.

"You look like you're about to collapse," the familiar voice rang in her ears before she could look up.

Her eyes narrowed, "what are you doing here?"

Kio shrugged, brought something out of his trench coat's pocket and placed it on the vacant seat beside her. She glanced down and her eyes momentarily widened. An unopened banana milk stood atop the stool, triggering memories in her mind.

She looked up, "you gave me one too... that time."

"I did."

"Why? You hate me."

The guy smirked, "not yet that time, I once wanted to be your friend because Gun talks about you non-stop. Maybe, I also saw my old self in you—always fidgeting before performances."

"And now?"

He stepped back and tilted his head, "start over, Ayutthaya."

"What do you mean?," she frowned, confused.

"You'll find out soon."

He whirled around and walked away, leaving those words for her to ponder.

"She saw his old self in me?," she scoffed in disbelief, "yeah right..."

Her agitation made her move in autopilot. First, strut down the red carpet, smile at the cameras, answer the MC's questions, proceed to the sitting area, bow at the other idols—especially the seniors—and greet and wave at some fans from time to time. Even though it's been years since K4RMA last attended an award show, she can say that they're still as natural as they can ever be.

"I heard RAVN changed their performance the last minute," her best friend whispered.

She willed herself to keep a neutral face and leaned closer to the Rei. "Who even told you that? Impossible, the organizers won't let them for sure."

"Minhwan told me, when I went in the restroom earlier."

"Why the hell would Minhwan be with you in the—you know, nevermind. I don't wanna know." She can't control herself from giving the girl a disgusted face. If ever some fansite caught it, then good for them, another meme is born.

"As I was saying, the organizers surprisingly allowed it and now some kind of surprise is about to happen."

Lilac almost groaned, "then shouldn't they just put RAVN last?"

Reiko shrugged, "that requires more work."

Ugh. What's with tonight? So many turn of events, seriously! What's next?

Despite kind of expecting it already because of her members, when her name was called for the Song of the Year award, it still felt like she was struck by lightning. 

She's pretty sure her face portrayed disbelief and confusion at first, but as the girls hugged and cheered for her... overwhelming happiness filled her well-being. She was already crying the moment she touched the trophy and stood in front of thousands of fans, her song blasting all over the hall.

"I've gone through so many things that I've never imagined I'd experience, the past two years," she uttered through the microphone. "And though through most of those experiences, I was longing for something," someone, "moments like this kept me going."

Funnily enough, right after the SOTY award comes the second to the last performance—RAVN. She nodded at the boys as she stepped out of the stage and passed by them, her eyes colliding with Kio's.

Her steps faltered as her heart started beating fast. The guy's eyes continued trapping hers. He'd usually smirk or throw a taunt her way by now, but surprisingly, he stayed silent and just kept staring at her. What's with him this time? She decided to look away first and proceeded to go back her seat.

The widely successful boy group didn't disappoint, of course. They started the performance with one of their all-English title tracks—which went viral globally—followed by the title track of their recent album and a ballad from the same release. Everyone thought it will end with only those three songs, but by the end of the ballad, Yohan and Haneul left the stage, leaving only the youngest three.

"What's happening?," Lilac heard Jada ask, but she can't even look away from the huge monitor in front of them.

One of the group's backup dancers inconspicuously brought the trio's microphones attached on mic stands, as they removed their headset mics. The instrumental of the previous song changed into another melancholic rhythm seamlessly.

Hei-won harmonized with the instrumental, the camera capturing looks of yearning on his face. As Asher started with the first line, the LED screen which serves as the backdrop of the stage, gradually changed into what looked like a sky full of stars with the words that completely took her breath away.

Just This Much

"No way..." she absentmindedly mumbled the same time the camera switched to a close up of Kio. He is holding his purple microphone with his right hand, so the side of the said hand was directly seen.

There, underneath his folded pinky finger, is her name in Thai letters tattooed vertically. It's him.

"Those Thai letters are familiar—" Rei gasped, instantly grabbing her arm and shaking her. "Isn't that your name?!"

Of course, her best friend wasn't able to control the volume of her voice and now, everyone around just found out how to read that particular Thai word. But did she have time to dwell on that? No. Because he's finally back, and maybe this time they can win against the world. Start over... so this is what that idiot meant, huh? Was the banana milk a farewell gift then?

One of the camera directors went in front of her and directed his lens towards K4RMA—particularly towards her—seemingly knowledgeable about what's currently happening. She didn't mind and just waited. The moment the monitor showed her, she smiled, looked ahead the stage—her eyes instantly catching his—and mouthed;

"I love you just this much."

Kio sang back with a smile he can't seem to fight back; "And baby... loving you just this much is what I came back here for."

By the time she heard those words, she can't stop the tears anymore and immediately hid her face.

Reiko hold her hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. "Should we go backstage and prepare for our performance?," her best friend whispered.

Looking up, she glanced at the older members as well, only to find them nodding too. She smiled at each one of them gratefully before they all stood up and left the seating area. 

Their managers picked them up halfway, Manager Jung going straight at her specifically. She got a bit nervous, expecting a warning from the woman for her earlier reaction, but surprisingly she only felt a comforting pat on her shoulder.

"We'll wait for you in the dressing room, Li," Seo-mi gave her an encouraging smile as they reached the back of the stage—right across the passage where artists tend to exit.

"Seom..." she drawled reluctantly, looking at their manager for permission.

The lady smiled, "don't be too long, you need to change clothes and get your makeup retouched."

"Thank you," her voice shook and she can't help but hug their ever-supportive manager. She's certain that once she's summoned by their boss for this, she will have Manager Jung's back—as always.

"I'm happy for you Li," Jada said before they walked away.

She was left with some of the show's crew and organizers. A few even asked her if she wanted something or needed help, but she'd only utter a word of thanks and say she's just waiting for someone. After a minute, they all let her be, but she can still feel some intrigued looks thrown her way.

It feels like her heart is about to burst out of her chest as she listened to the lyrics of the song he surely wrote for her. The words and the soulful melody perfectly conveys their story, and possibly his growth through these years. The guy went through a lot—he went through hell and back because of love.

Time. Fate. Reality.

Three powerful things that Ki-Ryeong conquered easily with one powerful weapon; love. 

And God knows how thankful she is that he fought and he was able to come back. She knows that returning to her also meant sacrificing his family back in his world, so she swore to fill up that space and never let him regret being here with her.

She will give him a new family—no, they can be each other's family.

The screams and applauses from the audience pulled her from her thoughts. As the backstage became busier and more crowded, she had no choice but to step back to give way. RAVN's crew rushed out to assist them, and she started to think that she won't be able to meet Kio at the moment.

It's too hectic, perhaps they can just talk in the end of the show. But will she be able to complete her performance like this? So many thoughts are going through her mind... and honestly? She can't wait any longer, she needs to hug him and check if he's real!

The small crowd in front of her started cheering and clapping, telling her that the three boys have already exited the stage. Lilac tried once again to take a peek through the gaps between the people, and finally saw him smiling brightly and thanking the staff.

God, she missed him so much. You know? Fuck it. She really can't wait any longer.

"Ahn Ki-Ryeong!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, silencing everyone. Heads instantly turned towards her direction and in no time, the figures obscuring her stepped back.

Their eyes finally collided, and Kio didn't waste another second and ran towards her. "Baby, I'm back," he whispered as she felt his arms tightening around her to the point that she was lifted up the floor.

She held him firmly too, her tears starting to fall once again. "Will you leave me again? Do you have to?"

He released her and looked straight at her, unshed tears already noticeable in his eyes as well. "No, not anymore. I promise I won't ever leave you again."

"But what about your parents?"

Kio pushed her head against his chest and kissed the top of it. "They knew I had to be here and they understand."

"Y-you told them?"

"I had to, and like I said, they understood. They were even the ones who convinced me to go back."

She leaned away and tilted her head to look up at him once more. "You won't regret it?"

"My whole world is here, why would I? And Kio's there to take care of them for me."

Finally, a comforted smile stretched on her face. "I love you, Ahn Ki-Ryeong."

"I love you too, my Lilac. Thank you for waiting for me."

And in the middle of that crowded hallway, they shared a kiss that will probably shock the whole world once again, and turn all social media platforms upside down.