Hei-won sighed as the youngest intently watched the video that was playing on his monitor.

After coming back home from the company last night, Kio hid himself inside his room once again, and didn't come out even till the next day. Unlike the past few days where he still joined them during meals and would quietly obey each of Yohan's orders, this time, he asked them not to disturb him.

Now, he found out the reason for it. 

The youngest was finishing something all day and he just did. He is reviewing the hour-long film at the moment—his longest one yet. Kio took interest on photography and cinematography around three years ago. Currently, he could pass up as a professional by how his skills greatly improved. Their fans knew about this too, due to the random video blogs the boy uploads on RAVN's official channel.

Hei-won knew there was still a barrier between them and the youngest because of what the latter did, but there was a part of him that was constantly worried for Kio. He watched when the boy accepted all the criticisms, the disappointed looks, the anger and disbelief from his friends and his brothers, not once complaining. Even when he was physically hurt, he never asked to be tended.

That's when his walls gradually crumbled down Kio. It's kind of expected that he is the one who will surrender first, anyway, he had always been the most sensitive among the group. It's the opposite for Asher, the only one left who still kept ignoring Kio. But they knew where Ash was coming from, so they understood.

"Maui, who's that? You know him?" Lilac's sweet voice sounded from the speakers.

Hei-won's eyes travelled towards the screen and watched as the girl, who had also become a close friend of his, hugged a kitten against her chest and pointed at the person holding the camera.

"That's Dada," she then laughingly added, making the camera shake a bit because Kio was chuckling too. The scene ended and switched inside a dark hotel room. Only a few seconds later, a bit of light came from the side with a singing voice;

"Happy birthday to you..."

He remembered this day, he helped Lilac plan this surprise. It was the first time they're celebrating Kio's birthday as an official couple, and the girl really prepared for it. He heard a faint sob and instantly looked down the boy seated in front of the computer.

Ki-Ryeong's shoulders shook, never once turning away from the monitor. Another thirty minutes passed and the special film finally ended. He remained seated and unmoving, just staring at the now-black screen in front of him.

"I ruined... that," Kio whispered, but it was enough for him to hear.

Hei-won stood up and held his shoulder, "as long as you're regretting it and you're going to tell her the truth, apologize and set her free from thinking that it was her fault, then you can start working on compensating for everything you've done."

"It's supposed to be our third anniversary tomorrow," Kio swallowed hard. "She asked me if I could at least wait for our anniversary but I can't do that to her. I can't let her make yet another memory with me... someone she will eventually hate."

He can't help but tear up as well, "I understand."

"I wanted to," the younger guy looked up, pleading for him to believe his words. "I wanted to celebrate with her for the last time but I don't deserve that anymore."

He nodded, "I believe you."

"You do? Really?"

"Yes."

Ki-Ryeong closed his eyes, relieved. The sight further hurt him, seeing the boy like this. It was like... he never expected that someone will actually believe him.

"I will tell her everything tomorrow and give this to her as my last gift."

"Okay, you do that."

"Thank you for believing in me, hyung."

He was about to reply when the room's door was suddenly pushed open, and a frantic Yohan hurriedly entered.

"You two, come out," he ordered with a voice full of authority, before turning to their youngest. "Kio, someone leaked the photos."

"No one's allowed to leave until this is resolved," Manager Chen, one of their managers and the closest to them, announced with finality.

Ki-Ryeong quickly looked at Asher who hurriedly stood up in protest. He did, too. He didn't care about the scandal anymore, he had already forgotten about it the moment he talked with Lilac over the phone.

"Listen, I have to go and pick up—"

"Sit down, Asher!" Manager Chen instantly cut the guy off.

Ash let out a frustrated sigh and narrowed his eyes at Kio, "if something happens to her, I will never forgive you." You don't have to tell me that. I will never forgive myself, too.

"The company car is here. Let's go, Kio." Their manager didn't even wait for his response and just went straight out of the penthouse.

He looked at each one of the members before standing up and bowing at them. "I'm sorry for causing you this much stress the past days," he stood back up, "I will fix this."

The drive towards the company was one full of tension. Manager Chen already confiscated his phone so he didn't have anything else to divert his attention to.

I'm finally giving up on you. Lilac's voice echoed inside his head and he can't help but bitterly smile to himself.

You really think you can still see her? Even planning to give her that film... you dumb bastard. What are you trying to do? Are you deluding yourself again? You're gonna tell her the truth and give her that tape? Then what? She's gonna forgive you and give you a second chance? Well, reality doesn't do things that, way, idiot. This is your reality. This is what you deserve.

And reality is not done.

They're only a block away from VN Entertainment's building when his manager's phone rang. He absentmindedly glanced at the rearview mirror where the reflection of his manager can be seen, seated on the passenger's seat.

"We're on our way, Chief— w-what?"

The dread from the man's voice made him sit up straight. His heart started beating fast, and that very moment he knew, something worse is coming.

"Okay, we'll go straight to the hospital."

Hospital? Kio reached for his back pocket, and was only reminded by then that his phone wasn't with him. He heard Manager Chen mentioning the name of the hospital to the driver, before turning on his seat to face him. There was reluctance in his expression, further scaring him.

"What is it?"

The man breathed out, "Lilac got into a car accident. She's in a critical condition."

All this time, he accepted every pain. But this one? Isn't it too much?

•.°⏳•°.

The bright hallway outside the ICU was filled with quiet sobs. There are too many people in the small space but no one dared to ask them to leave. These are VIPs in the first place—idols, they're known as. And the one inside the unit is yet another well-loved idol of this generation.

The tense silence was interrupted by thundering footsteps, until a breathless figure arrived at the end of the hallway. His eyes are solely trained on the closed doors of the ICU, not sparing anyone a glance.

Jada's tearful eyes instantly narrowed, seeing Kio. She was about to stand up to make him leave, but Seo-mi quickly held her back.

"This is not the time for that, Jade. Can't you see? He's suffering too," the leader almost begged. Seo-mi, who rarely cries, now had her cheeks stained with tears.

"He's the reason why this happened! He shouldn't be here!"

"Jada," Seo-mi breathed out, "this is no one's fault but that drunk driver, okay? Once you put the blame on Kio, you're like blaming Rei too, for letting Lilac leave by herself. Don't let yourself be clouded by anger, please. Li won't like it."

Jada just looked away as a fresh set of tears escaped her eyes. She can't help but glance at Ki-Ryeong again, and was a bit surprised when she saw the guy still standing by the end of the hallway, meters away from them. He was just staring ahead, not daring to come closer.

"See?," she heard Seo-mi mutter, making her turn to their eldest again. "I bet he's blaming himself, he's too scared to come here." She glanced back, and saw Yohan and Hei-won now standing beside Kio.

I still can't forgive him. I will never. Jada bit her lip.

Only when Reiko suddenly stood up, did everyone's attention turned away as they notice the doctor coming out of the ICU, a solemn look evident on his face. No one dared to speak as the man's words slowly snatched away all the hope left in them.

"She tried fighting for her life as we resuscitate her, we knew she was helping us as well. We were able to revive her but only a few seconds later, her body eventually gave up. She lost too much blood, and she long had brain hemorrhage. It was too late. We are sorry for bearing such bad news."

"No please," Rei plead.

"Ms. Lilac Ayutthaya died at exactly 1:09AM."

"No, no..." Jada hurriedly held the doctor's arm, "Doc listen, y-you need to try harder. Y-you know us? We're- we're a group and—"

"Jade please..." Seo-mi sobbed hugging the younger girl's waist.

"No!" Jada tried stepping away as she looked back at the doctor. "We're K4RMA, there's- there's four of us in K4RMA... Doc please, you need to—"

"Jade, calm down," someone stronger finally was able to pull her away from the man.

"Ash, tell him... tell him to save our Li! Asher, please! Bring her back, bring her back please!" Jade clutched her friend's shirt as her breathing started getting labored. "You love her right? W-what will happen to you now? Tell him to save the girl you love!"

"You need to breathe," Asher gravelly whispered. "Breathe, Jade."

That's when she finally broke down. Her painful cries and screams echoing throughout the hallway. The other two members poured their hearts out as well, to the point that Reiko eventually collapsed—their male manager instantly catching her.

"Kio," Yohan's voice made everyone turn towards their direction. "Ki-Ryeong, hey, say something..."

The boy was in a daze, not even sparing their leader a glance.

"Kio," Hei-won tried shaking him until he just hugged the boy. "Fuck, Kio, you're scaring us!"

Ki-Ryeong slowly pushed his brothers away and walked towards the doctor, the two in tow. He stopped when he was close enough and suddenly smiled.

"Kio..." Haneul called out.

"This is just a dream, right Doc?" The youngest of the guys chuckled, shocking everyone. He then shook his head, "what a nightmare. I'll wake up soon."

"Kio, come on," Yohan whispered.

Kio looked at him, "Li's in my apartment, Yohan." His voice shook, it sounded like he was in panic, making the others worry even more. "Asher told me, I even talked to her earlier. She's still there, I know. She must be waiting for someone to get her. We should go to her."

Without waiting for anyone, he whirled around and started walking away. Yohan and Hei-won looked at the others before following him. It was the leader's car who they ended up using.

Once they arrived in front of Kio's apartment, he opened it in such a hurry that he had to type in the code thrice. What they saw inside instantly made the older guys take a shaky breath. The banner was still there—the cake, the home-made food, the gift beside a piece of tiger lily, and the galaxy lamp which was the only thing left turned on to light up the dark room.

"See? She's preparing for our anniversary. That's her coat," Ki-Ryeong excitedly gestured at the trench coat draped on the couch. "She's here..." he then drawled.

The two stayed quiet, already crying as they watch the youngest desperately check every part of his apartment, calling out his ex-girlfriend's name.

"Li... I'm here!" he exclaimed before opening his bedroom's door. "Li? Come on, where are you, baby?" He went out of the room and checked the kitchen again, "Li?"

"Kio..." Hei-won choked out.

"Hei, s-she's here somewhere," Kio's voice finally cracked, tears welling up his eyes. "M-maybe she went out to buy something. There's a convenience store downstairs and—"

"Ahn Ki-Ryeong," Hei-won said in a hard voice, "Lilac's not here anymore. She's in the hospital."

"No! No, please, no... you need to believe me this time. I told you—"

Yohan went to their youngest and pulled him in a tight hug. "You're awake Kio, you've always been awake. She's not here. Please, don't do this anymore."

Reality finally began sinking in.