Her grip on the balcony's banister tightened as she let out a forceful laughter.

"We promised not to joke about this type of stuff, remember?," her voice shook as she internally prayed that her boyfriend was just joking. This must be a prank, right? Maybe Kio was bored, and he's making fun of her again.

"Li..." his voice carried a tinge of exhaustion, and it was like a hard slap on her face.

Has he really fallen out of love, or was he just tired? Tears welled up her eyes and in no time, started falling fast. Her body weakened, like something suddenly weighed her down.

"Come on... why are you— I-I can't understand," she choked out.

"I'm sorry."

She covered her mouth, not letting even one faint sob escape. If not for the handrail, she would've knelt down the balcony's cold tiled floor by now.

"Can we not do this over the phone?," she finally was able to say after calming herself a bit. "Can we at least celebrate our anniversary? This will be my last request, please Ki-Ryeong? Please..."

"Okay, at least for the last time."

The moment she heard those words, she ended the call, afraid that he will change his mind. She stared at her phone's screen, still in disbelief, as it completely blacked out when locked again. She was left in the darkness, with only the far city lights illuminating the space she was in.

As her tears continued to fall, her legs slowly gave up as well. She covered her mouth with both hands this time, she can't let her members hear her pain and get involved. She can't let Jada know that she didn't agree breaking up with him when he said so. She can do this alone because for her, it still isn't too much, she can still endure.

He gave her a chance, that must mean something, right? She can still surprise him on their anniversary and maybe change his mind. Maybe he just got tired, it's not as if he cheated or anything.

It wasn't too much yet.

But it doesn't mean it hurt less, because the pain still left her breathless and clutching her chest. The pain still pushed her to stay out the cold night with only her thin nightdress, crying her heart out but making sure she didn't make any sound. The pain still made her think back and try to figure out what has gone wrong.

The second his words passed over the line of that phone call and into her ears, the already existing cracks of her fragile heart worsened once again. But it's bearable, at least, she insists it still is.

It was a price to pay for taking Kio's love for granted during their first months of being in a relationship. Back then, it must have been hard for him as well, but he didn't let go and understood her.

Now it was her turn to do that.

•°.⏳•.°

There was a conference call with their boss the next morning and she can't seem to concentrate. She was wearing a pair of specs which was her poor attempt to hide her swollen eyes. The first time Seo-mi noticed it, she lied and said it was because she binge-watched some tragic films the night before. Reiko immediately frowned hearing it, but said nothing.

She knew Jada was suspicious of her made-up excuse, her piercing stare during the meeting was enough proof. The second eldest had always been the most sensitive when it comes to their emotions.

"So always be careful," those were the only words she was able to hear from the CEO, as the girls and even their team, expressed their agreement.

She looked around and found their managers talking about something that was printed on a document. Their styling team on the other hand, stood up from their seats and started to leave one by one. Lastly, she turned to her members and was met by silence. They were looking at her with either worried or inquiring eyes.

"Did something happen?," Seo-mi was the one who finally spoke up.

Their managers stood up as well and bid farewell, until it was only the four of them left in the suite.

"Nothing," she forcefully smiled.

The three glanced at each other before Seo-mi hesitantly nodded, "okay, if you say so."

She's certain their leader knew there's something, but she was thankful she chose not to pry anymore.

"You're still doing that surprise?," Jada asked.

The reminder of what she has been preparing for Kio made her swallow hard. Is it just her or did the girl really sound like she's expecting her to stop? When it was the only way she could make Kio love her again, is Jada planning to protest against it again?

"Of course, why do you sound like you're against it? Why can't you support me?," she found herself asking in spite.

The former frowned, "it's not like that Lila—"

"I'm trying to save my relationship. Why can't you just cheer me up instead?," she stood up, already teary-eyed. First Kio, and now them? When will she get a break? It's been so hard for her as well!

"Li, we never said we're not rooting for you," Rei softly mumbled, reaching out for her hand but she immediately stepped back.

"You were so happy for Kio and I back then. I just want everything to go back to how it used to be, was that too much to ask?" She wiped one traitorous tear from her cheek as she turned around and went inside her room.

Once she was alone, she instantly regretted saying those things to the girls. That was so insensitive of her, they didn't deserve that attitude. But at the back of her mind, she believed there was truth in her words. Those were the things she's been keeping inside and she just exploded.

Even after a few days have passed and they were on their way back home, she was still distant from the three. Lilac knew she's being unreasonable but maybe this could help too, at least they're not questioning her left and right anymore. Rei was the only one who would talk to her from time to time, but her best friend avoided asking about Kio too. She decided to just talk to them once she's done fixing everything.

Seeing their apartment building after almost a month made her let out a sigh of relief. Even though each of them already have separate units of their own, they still kept the one they shared since their trainee days for times like this.

As she entered the building with the others, she started feeling nervous. It finally sank in that she's back in Seoul and in two days, she will see Ki-Ryeong and convince him to try saving their relationship again.

Unlike the other times she came home from overseas gigs or tours, she didn't go straight to her boyfriend's apartment this time. She's too afraid that once they met, he'll open the topic of breaking up and not even give her a chance to do her anniversary surprise.

Fear. When did seeing him start scaring her, instead of making her excited?

"Li." They've just taken a few steps out the elevator when Rei quietly called her.

She looked up and saw the girls, even their managers, looking at her. Her eyes then travelled to the long hallway ahead and there, right outside their shared unit, stood a familiar figure. She instantly knew who it was, not only for his all-black outfit but also because she had long memorized all of him.

Instead of a burst of happiness, dread filled her.

"We're going to wait in the lounge," Jada announced with finality.

One of their managers was about to object but Seo-mi didn't let him, "talk inside the dorm, Lilac."

She nodded and looked at each of them gratefully. Jada gave her a reassuring smile and in no time, she was all by herself—they even took her luggage.

Each step she took towards him was also a stab through her already broken heart. She knew all too well what's about to happen.

You can't even spare me two days? You want to get rid of me that much?

She did not look at him and just shakily unlocked the door. She didn't even bother turning on all the lights inside, and just switched the heater on and the one in the living room. With her back towards him, she stopped near the couch and put her hand-carry down. She felt his presence, but he made sure he's standing a few feet away.

"Lilac."

Her name coming from his lips was her trigger. Sobs uncontrollably came out her lips, tears stained her cheeks, her shoulders shook and her knees weakened.

"You can't even wait until our anniversary?," she breathlessly whispered.

"I don't want to hurt you anymore, if I—"

She whirled around. Her usual joyful eyes, now full of pain and anger. "How dare you use my pain against me when you're the one who caused this?! You know nothing about how I feel! You're giving up on us because you don't want to hurt me anymore?," she scoffed, "I'm the one who's hurting but why am I also the one left trying to fix this?"

"I'm hurting too," his voice cracked but unlike her, he was able to stop the tears from falling. "Let's break up before we end up hating each other, Li."

"You loved me so much," she weakly sat down the couch, "you used to love me so much! What happened to us? You promised me so many things. My mom loves you so much, what will I say to her? I promised your mom I'll visit once I get back, what should I do now?"

"Please... please don't do this. Don't guilt-trip me."

"What?"

Did he really... say that? Me? Guilt-tripping him?

"I know I've done something terrible to you, but this is painful for me too. It's all my fault. You can blame me all you want, but I hope we can be mature about this breakup."

She can't believe what she's hearing. What does he think of her?

"Please leave," she said in a hard voice, staring at the blazing red digits of the clock hanging atop the television.

9:26 AM

"Lila—"

"I don't want to see you ever again, Ki-Ryeong. Leave. You got what you want now. You don't want to hurt me, right?," she looked up, "seeing you hurts me right now so get out because we're done."

As the last digit on the clock changed into seven, he went out the door and out of her life for good. Her magical dream ended at exactly 9:27 that particular winter morning. She woke up to the reality that the person who she loves so much has now become just another stranger.

In the end, their love turned out to be just this much—a painful heartbreak.