"Are you okay?"

Lilac looked at Reiko, and failed to answer her best friend's question for a whole minute.

What are the requirements to be deemed 'okay'?

She has a thriving career, she achieved her dreams, she has the girls, she has her cats—Maui, Raja and Pascal—who she loves dearly and who make her feel less lonely, her parents are both healthy, and many people appreciate her hard work. Only one aspect of her life is considered 'not okay.'

So is she? Does she even have the right to say she's not okay? All because of a guy, who would've thought she'll find herself in this line of thought?

But then again, Kio is someone who she entrusted herself to, someone who she dreamt with, someone who she hoped to spend the rest of her life with... someone who she thought will always be her constant companion, consistently loving her. Because of one person, all the other 'okay' things in her life became unimportant.

"You know what? Forget that I asked," Rei added after a while of not getting any answer.

She just apologetically smiled.

Their food arrived after a few minutes of silence. She actually has no appetite but she can't burst Rei's excited bubble. They've been planning to visit this particular restaurant before they even arrived in Paris. It has high reviews, her best friend said.

The other two—Jada and Seo-mi—have separate schedules; work, unlike them. They already finished their appointments with fashion brands so they are free to wander around.

She tried a couple of bites but stopped on her fourth. She can't help but glance outside, the magnificent view of the Eiffel Tower meeting her eyes. Memories of that day filled her mind.

She was here for Paris Fashion Week, while Kio was in London for their concert tour. A playful mention of how she missed him was enough for the boy to book a flight and secretly go to where she was. They spent the day together, strolling along the iconic tower and visiting various souvenir shops. It was where they bought their first couple rings—first of many, it became their thing. No one paid them any attention because of his genius idea of a disguise.

She thought it will all end once the sun sets, but night came, they went back to his hotel room for her to find a candle-lit dinner prepared. It was that night she finally gave him every bit of herself—her body, her soul, her whole heart .

"You're smiling, but why does it still look so sad?"

Turning back to Rei who's seated across her, she instantly felt apologetic. "I'm sorry, I've been spacing out a lot. This was supposed to be a happy day for you," she sighed.

She is being so selfish, indeed. Reiko has been looking forward to this day but she kept ruining it.

"No Li, it was supposed to be a happy day for you. You're supposed to forget about everything in the meantime and enjoy, but I guess I failed my mission," the blonde girl's shoulder sagged as her lips protruded into a disappointed pout.

Lilac can't help but reach out and pinch her best friend's cheek, chuckling a bit. "I'm being really ungrateful. I'm sorry, Rei."

"I just want my old Lilac back," the latter stood up and sat beside her. She hugged her waist and leaned on her shoulder. "You should just tell him what you've been feeling. I hate seeing you like this. You always tell me to do what makes me happy but right now, you're not doing anything to make yourself happy!"

Lilac hugged her back and bitterly smiled. The girl is such a simple-minded and straightforward person, she expected her to say that.

"I'm afraid when I do, he'll break up with me," she finally admitted, tears welling up her eyes.

Rei instantly perked up and faced her with a frown. "Why would he? Kio loves you so much. Maybe it's just your hectic schedules and the distance. How can he even think of breaking up with you? You're so beautiful and sweet, you're our Lilac! He won't dare!"

The first tear eventually rolled down her cheek but she still tried to fake a smile. At a time like this, Rei still made sure to lift up her self-esteem which was what she needed the most.

"But he's Ahn Ki-Ryeong," she simply muttered.

So what if she's Lilac Ayutthaya of K4RMA? The guy is equally known, he can get any girl he wants. She's really doubting herself again, huh? It feels like she went back to square one—the insecure, rookie idol Lilac. She can't believe it. She worked hard to conquer her low self-esteem. She worked even harder to love herself and not put herself down every time. But does it matter now? Now that the one person she's doing it for, is slowly getting out of her grasp?

"I feel like... he doesn't love me anymore, Rei," she sobbed.

Reiko started tearing up as well, "that's impossible. No one is capable of doing that especially when they've come to know who you truly are."

She immediately shook her head, "I can feel it. He wasn't the same as before. Everything's gradually changing."

"Then, will you let it keep going that way? Will you let this continue?"

She stilled. Yes, that's right. Why does she keep crying here and acting like she can't do anything but let everything take its course? In the first place, the sole purpose of the surprise she's been planning was to somehow, fix their relationship. It's her turn to make efforts this time. She must do everything to make him remember their happy memories together.

She's going to take him back to the start and rekindle their love.

•.°⏳•°.

The next morning, she remembered that it was the same day Kio was planning to get his tattoos. Because South Korea was seven hours ahead of France, she guessed that he's probably in the tattoo shop already.

To: My Ki-Ryeong ♥
You're getting your tattoos today! Are you already in the shop, baby?

From: My Ki-Ryeong ♥
Yes, I'm here.

To: My Ki-Ryeong ♥
Okay. Good luck! I'll be home in five days, can't wait to see you!

From: My Ki-Ryeong ♥
It's my turn. I'll text you later babe.

To: My Ki-Ryeong ♥
Okay, I love you! xx

Lilac stared at her phone for a few minutes but no reply came. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, not letting herself overthink again.

He had no time to reply, don't be so petty.

She continued getting ready instead, and after a short while, someone knocked on her door before it was pushed open.

"Rei told me you're going out?," Jada asked, entering her room. The four of them are sharing a two-bedroom hotel suite with her and Rei in one, and Jada and Seo-mi in the other.

"Yup, want me to get you something?"

The older girl sat down the foot of her bed and observed her for a while. "No need. Where are you going? You'll be with Manager Hak?"

She nodded, "I'll just go to this shop a couple of blocks away. I'm getting something I ordered the other day."

Jada's brows furrowed, "oh... that customized gift you were talking about?"

"Yeah, it will be finished today."

She watched as her companion smiled, tight-lipped, but nodded in understanding nonetheless. That gift was for Kio and the girls knew about it. Jada, in particular, has been so obvious of her disappointment towards her boyfriend. She's probably thinking the gift is really unnecessary.

"Just promise me one thing, Li." She faced the older girl because of her sudden change, from a casual tone to a serious one. "If it gets too much, break up with him," Jada added, looking straight into her eyes.

"I will, Jade."

Jada stood up and hugged her. "If he keeps hurting you and making you sad like this, is he still worth it? No, not anymore. You can live without him, you have us. You have the world. You're Lilac Ayutthaya, all-rounder idol, and K4RMA's ace dancer."

She leaned away and faced one of the strongest women she knew. Hearing those words from her is such an eye-opener.

"Okay."