"How many?"

"Ahren counted 27..."

I sigh, laying on my cot with my back against the wall and Ahri between my legs. I calmly stroke her hair as Jasper talks. 

"And of ours?"

"Six were ours... the other 21 were theirs... that's counting Trent and uh... the one she... uh..."

I look down at Ahri as she sleeps, seeming so calm.

The battle was over. We had won, though I wouldn't call it winning... After 21 fatalities on their side, the rest of them surrendered and we let them go. Told them to leave town and never come back because we'd be waiting.

I was in a lot of pain after exerting myself so much. My body was aching and I could hardly stand. Jasper and Ahri took me back to my room. Ahri stayed with me and eventually she fell asleep as I stared blankly at the wall, trying to think of anything but the pain I was experiencing. 

Jasper came back to tell me the numbers they'd come up with after clearing out the bodies. It was horrific. 27 lives. Though our numbers suffered less, that was still 27 people. 

"What did you do with the bodies?" I ask, meeting Jasper's gaze.

He sighs. "We're going to burn most of them. The ones we didn't know, the 21 that were theirs. The other six of ours got buried. Jeanine hasn't left Trent's grave yet..."

Jeanine.

How could I have forgotten about her?

Her husband had died and I wasn't even sure how it had happened. Hell, I didn't even really know why. He must have been at the other station keeping guard. Did they just shoot him on site? Did they torture him before? Did they hold him hostage? Did they threaten him? What had Trent's final moments been like? Trent was brave, I knew that much. Had his bravery gotten him killed? He was also a fighter. Did he fight before they killed him?

"Sasha?"

I snapped out of my thoughts and turned back to the man standing in front of me.

"How long till you think this storm will pass?"

I shrug. It was still pouring rain and our lockdown had failed. What did we do now?

"I'm sure it'll pass soon..."

Jasper didn't say anything, he just bit his lip anxiously.

I was hesitant to ask him about it, for fear of what his answer could be. The source of his anxious look could be so many things. In the world we're living in, one where the dead and the living alike are a dangerous enemy, so many things could be troubling him. Still, I asked anyway.

"What is it?"

I could tell he didn't want to say it by the way his voice came out. This was something he didn't want to talk about, and for soon to be obvious reasons.

"What she did..." He started, his eyes moving from me to Ahri. 

I close my eyes, seeing the moment play through my mind again. Her tiny figure pulling her gun and shooting him. The details coming to life all over again. I didn't want to see it. I open my eyes, Jasper still looking at Ahri.

"How do we approach that?" He was sincerely perplexed and so was I.

Ahri killed somebody. 

A fact that would haunt everybody, especially me feeling particularly responsible for her, for the rest of their lives. Cat had trusted me to take care of her, and I had been doing fine... at least I thought I had.

"We took lives today too, all of us did. So why does it feel so different when she does it?"

I knew the answer to the question, yet I still asked it.

"Because she's just a child!" Jasper exclaimed, running his hands through his hair.

Bingo.

She was just a child. People aren't built to kill, but children especially aren't built for that.

"We are in charge of this girl's bringing up and considering she just killed somebody, I don't think we're doing a very good job."

Jasper was getting angry and frustrated and confused all at once. I knew the feeling all too well.

"Does self-preservation apply to children committing murder?" I ask a question that I'd already been pondering myself. Maybe Jasper can shed some light on it...

Instead, he answers with his own question, "Is a child committing murder still a child?"

That was an even better question. Was she still a child, even after committing murder? By age, of course. However, in this new world does age really matter? She'd already started growing up so fast...

"I killed at least two people today but I take responsibility for so many more. All six of our people, the two I killed, and the one Ahri shot. I take responsibility for all of them. That's all my fault. Our people fought and died for and because of me. I took two lives on my own. Ahri shot a man, the girl I am responsible for, the girl that I am supposed to be raising right shot someone. I'm responsible for that."

For some unknown reason, tears began to well in my eyes. Why? Was it because I knew I'd taken at least nine lives today? Perhaps. Or maybe I just felt like I'd done a terrible job at keeping this place together and raising Ahri, my family.

Jasper's face softened as he looked at me. He moved closer, kneeling beside the cot. He took my free hand and pressed his lips to it leaving a warm spot behind when he spoke.

"None of this is your fault. We're all in this together. If you're going down then I sure as hell will be too."