*suspenseful music plays in background*

NJ - hello Sarah

NY - hi Tiffany

NJ - those shoes look familiar

Fort Wayne - hey dad I think a know what college I wanna go to

Indy - good which one!

Fort Wayne - Michigan State

Indy - NAW WE'RE NOT DOIN THIS

Fort Wayne - dad it my decision!

Indy - HELL NAW

Missouri - wassup me and my boys are gonna go we uncle canada –

Missouri - *yeets around* 

Missouri - gimme my hat back Kansas, do wanna go see uncle Canada or no?!

Missouri - *gets spooked by hat*

Illinois - *on phone* do u wanna peperroni or sausage?

Cali - whatever's gluten free

Illinois - *annoyed* okie well non of them are

Cali - okie well then I dont want pizza

Illinois - *inhales* hoOOOOOOOO–

Mississippi - *watching Dr phil*

Dr Phil - *gets up and takes off coat*

Mississippi - yeeesss

Dr Phil - *slings coat around shoulder*

Mississippi - WWOOOOOOOO

Dr Phil - *walks forward* 

Mississippi - AAAAAHHHHHHH

Dr Phil - *twirls with coat* 

Mississippi - *indistinguishable screams*

Louisiana - *recording*

Texas - *holds up pistol to a stuffed barney* Barney's about to meet his maker

Oklahoma - die you commie fucker!!

Arkansas - NO–

Texas -

Maryland - there's only one race the human rac–

Indy - *smacks maryland*

Alabama - what about NASCAR!?

Massachusetts - how British people shower

Massachusetts - ya see we get nice and wet, then we get the teabags

Massachsetts - ya know

Utah - welcome back to jesus christ hotline, sir you are live

Nyo!Vermont - yeah jesus christ fucking suCK

Minnesota&North Dakota - you are my dad *points to Canada from stage*

Minne & ND - yr my dad! boogey woogey woogey

Nevada @ New Mexico - ah haha! Bitch! Why you mad! Cause ya man don't fuck you, like he fucked ME!!

NM - i dont like Arizona like that–

1805

Ohio - *waddles up to 2yr old Michigan*

Michigan - daddy?

Ohio - do I lOoK Li–

Florida - *looks at taco bell coupons* yyaaaaaEEEAAAHHS 

Florida - *speeding to taco bell* YEEEAAASSSS YEEEAASSS!!!!

Florida @ drive thru - I got two free tacos!!

Michigan - hello

Rhode Island -  somebody at our prom has been killed!

Michigan - well calm down, you don't want to panic at the disco *song plays*

Louisiana - I am from every continent in Africa

Mississippi - *looking through book* dis must be that new geography omg

D.C -  that moment when you scroll through someone's old Instagram photos and you accidentally type the Declaration of Independence

D.C - *with wig on* oh shit

NH - *at star wars movie*

Maine - WO! 

NH - turn off the flash you fuckin' moron

Movie - *starts*

NH&Maine - YEAH!!

Arkansas - duke do you want the ball? *throws ball over water jugs*

Duke - *yeets through water jugs*

NC - *knocks on door* is Scott here?

Alabama - uhh ya know what

SC - *yeets through window*

Alabama - he just left

Tennessee - *walks up to tractor supply and co*

Tennessee -  *rides out on horse with cowboy hat*

Pennsylvania on a crescent moon - an to all a good night

Pennsylvania - *gets flute* 

Pennsylvania - *starts sarcastically playing silent night on the flute* 

XDDDD THIS CHAPTER WTFFFFF