chapter twenty-six
sharks in the water

        They regroup on the bleachers in a tight cluster.  El is at the epicenter of their cluster, wrapped in a soft towel.  Hopper's flannel jacket sits around her shoulders.  She's still cold to the touch.  She leans her head against Mike's shoulder.  Alex smiles at the notion.  El trusts Mike wholeheartedly and so does he.  She can see just how much they care about each other and it warms her heart.  There are thousands of stars in the galaxy—more stars inhabit their night sky than grand of sand inhabit their beaches—and the sky is full of them, but Mike only looks at El. 

Lucas sits on the row above El and Mike and keeps a comforting hand on the girl's shoulder and rubs it in a circular motion.  El looks so weak, so faint, it's a wonder that she's managed to keep her eyes open for this long.  Alex wouldn't be surprised if she suddenly just vanished as if she were nothing more than a phantom.  Alex stays at Dustin's side, and his arm remains around her shoulders the entire time.  Her limbs still tremble and she feels so tired still.  She doesn't know exactly what happened to her, but she knows that she never wants to feel like that again.

Hopper, Jonathan, and Joyce converse in hushed tones, only a few feet away.  The message is clear—they are going alone.  There is no use fighting Hopper's rules.  Alex knows this.  She only hears snippets of their hushed conversation, something about Castle Byers—whatever that is, Alex is not sure.  Alex does not have the energy to listen in on their conversation.  Nancy is nowhere to be found.  She disappears when Alex is not looking.  The guilt of Barbara's death became too much.  Alex wishes there was a way to tell Nancy that she felt the same pressure of guilt weighing down on her shoulders.  She wants to tell Nancy that she understands her pain more acutely than anybody else in the gym.  She wants to tell Nancy that she's here for her if she ever needs anybody to talk to.

And then they leave and the world falls silent.

Alex leans against Dustin and closes her eyes.  Dustin pulls her closer and rubs her arm comfortingly.  Dustin is warm.  Alex smiles and leans into his touch.  But this touch is different from the touch that Mike and El share.  Alex knows this and Dustin knows this too.  She would take a bullet for Dustin in the same way that she would take a bullet for El and Mike and Lucas.  She loves Dustin in the way that she loves the rest of them—platonically and unapologetically.  She knows that she does not feel that way about Dustin—or any of her companions—without a doubt, no question about it. 

But that's not the question that plagues her.  It isn't does she? it's shouldn't she?  And she doesn't see why not.  She's a girl.  He's a boy.  She cares about Dustin.  Dustin cares about her.  Isn't that how it works?  A boy and girl can never be friends.  They're always something more and if they're not, then they're just hiding it from each other—they'll get together eventually.  But Alex cannot remember a time when she's ever felt that way about a boy.  Not about kind, sweet Will.  Not about Dustin.  Not about Lucas.  Not about the boys who poked fun of her on the playground (because boys only pick on you when they like you). 

Besides, she thinks to herself, boys are gross.

"You really scared us back there," Dustin tells Alex, quietly.

"Yeah," Mike agrees.

"I'm sorry," Alex replies softly.

"Hey, no, don't apologize," Lucas tells her.  "We were just worried, that's all.  I'm glad you're okay."

Alex smiles.  "Thank you, guys.  For being there.  I know I'm not the easiest person to be friends with.  It means a lot to me."

"We wouldn't have it any other way," Lucas replies fondly.

Alex feels her heart flutter in her chest.  Friendship is warm like the sun.  Alex doesn't think that she would have grown as much as she did without them by her side.  Despite everything that's happened, she doesn't think that she wants to be anywhere else.  For once, out of all the universes she could be born in, she's glad that it's this one.  She knows that she lived through all the past horrors just to get to this moment of peace, surrounded by people who care just as much about her as she cares about them.  It's then that she knows that she would do anything for them.

She only hopes that they'll live through the night. 

"How are you doin', El?" Alex asks softly.

"Tired," El answers.

"You did amazing," Alex tells her.  "You're amazing."

El smiles.

Minutes pass and Nancy and Jonathan have not shown themselves.  The gym is shrouded in darkness, the only light that they have is from the moon that filters in through the window.  The electricity has still not flickered back on.  They have not moved since Joyce and Hopper disappeared to retrieve Will.  Time moves on.  The world continues to spin.  The gym is still silent.  Nancy and Jonathan are gone.  Alex can't shake the foreboding feeling that they've been left to fend for themselves again, stranded on a lone island in the center of Hawkins.  They can't step foot outside of the gym.  The waters are still infested with deadly sharks.  They had tasted their blood back in the junkyard, they had been so close to clamping their jaws around them.  But then, they had Hopper.  Now, they only have his trust.  And that doesn't make Alex feel any better. 

After all, how had the bad men tracked them down to the junkyard?  It couldn't have been a coincidence that they arrived just before Hopper.  If he had sold them out once, he would do it again.  None of the others seem to share her trepidations, however.  It must just be another influx of negative thoughts.  They seem harder and harder to deter these days. 

Mike's knee bounces in anticipation and he cranes his neck down to check his watch.  Alex stifles a yawn, still leaning against Dustin.  Finally, Mike lets out an impatient sigh and pushes himself off of the bleachers.  He doesn't say anything as he stalks toward the double doors of the gym and they are left to watch in confusion.

"They're gone," Mike announces when he returns.

"What?" says Lucas.

"Nancy and Jonathan," Mike clarifies, "his car is gone."

"They're probably just sucking face somewhere," Dustin suggests. 

Alex recoils from Dustin and retches. 

"Gross," Lucas groans.

"No!" Mike exclaims.  "No way!"

"Did they go with the chief?" Dustin wonders.

"I don't know," Mike retorts.

"No," El says.  All eyes are on her.  This is the first time that she speaks in over an hour. 

"What?" Mike asks, turning to her.  "Did you see them?  Do you know where they went?"

"Yes."

"Where?  Where did they go?"

El doesn't answer right away.  A foreboding silence fills the gym as she stares at them with her wide brown eyes.  She is so much more than what meets the eye.  So much more than the scared little girl that they found in the woods, and she knows so much more than they ever will. 

"Demogorgon."

And that is enough to send shivers down Alex's spine.

"That's so unfair!" Alex exclaims, pushing herself up from the bleachers. 

More people are in danger, and they're being shoved to the sidelines.  They've survived this long without any help.  Isn't that enough to show them that they aren't just dead weight?  But she isn't just angry because they've left them alone.  She's angry because she wants to get her hands on the Demogorgon.  She wants to tear into its flesh.  She wants its blood to stain her hands, so when she looks down at them, she no longer sees Barbara's blood.  If she can't save Barbara, the least that she can do is kill the monster that she left her to. 

"We're not useless.  We can help them!" She rants, pacing.  "But noooo, they just decided to leave without telling us.  What if the bad men find us and it's their fault because they weren't here?  Should've thought about that before leaving us behind."

"Alex is right.  This is crazy," Mike agrees with a nod.  "We can't just wait around!"

"Mike, Al, in case you guys forgot, we're still fugitives," Lucas reminds him.  "The bad men are still looking for us."

"Yeah, and we don't even know where your sister is," Dustin agrees.

Mike gestures over his shoulder to El, who sits alone on the bleachers with her knees drawn up to her chest.  Her eyes lids are drooping again and her chin rests on her knees.  "El can find them."

Alex lets out a scoff.  "Mike, that is the most batshit thing you have ever said."

"Yeah," Dustin agrees, gesturing toward El.  Mike turns around to look at the girl wrapped in Hopper's flannel.  She turns her head to stare back at them. "Look at her.  I still think we should stick to the Chief's plan."

"Exactly," Lucas agrees.  "We stay here, keep El out of sight and keep her safe.  That's the most important thing, remember?  Besides, she's okay.  She's with Jonathan."

"Yeah, and she's kind of a badass now, so..." Dustin agrees with a wide grin.  With that, he turns on his heel and strides toward the double doors.

"Where are you going?" Mike calls after him, his voice echoing off of the bare walls.  "I thought you just said stick to the plan?"

"I am!" Dustin replies.  He glances over his shoulder at them.  "I'm just gonna go get some chocolate pudding.  I'm telling you, Lunch Lady Phyllis hoards that shit."

Mike throws his arms out in exasperation.  "Are you serious?!"

"El needs to be recharged!" Dustin calls over his shoulder. 

It's then that Alex realizes that she hasn't eaten since they were hiding on the bus.  Her stomach is still violently twisting itself into knots, but she thinks that some food will make her feel better. 

"Hey, wait up!"

. . .

Dustin eagerly takes the doors of the fridge open when the three reach the kitchen.  Alex and Lucas crowd eagerly behind him.  They leave Mike and El behind in the cafeteria.  Someone needs to keep an eye on El.  Alex has learned that El is a silent sufferer.  She thinks that it comes from years of being dehumanized.  Speak only when spoken to, and so on and so forth.  Alex can't wait to break her out of this cycle of trauma.  She can't wait until El no longer has to be a secret.  The girl has spent her whole life being a secret.  It's time to change that. 

The cold air hits them and Alex squints as the bright light from the fridge hits her right in the eyes.  The top shelf is filled with cartons of milk and Alex lets out a dejected sigh before her eyes travel down to the bottom shelf.  Rows upon rows of tins are stacked atop of one another.  All of them are labeled pudding.

"Found it!" Dustin exclaims jubilantly.  The wide toothless grin is back, and Alex can't help but smile along with him.  The three clamor and take as many cans into their arms as they can carry.  They're going to need the sustenance.  A small light pierces through the tunnel of darkness.  "I knew it.  Always lying, saying she's out.  Bald-faced liar."  He turns over his shoulder, and screams into the void, "MIKE, I FOUND THE CHOCOLATE PUDDING!"

"Okay!" Comes Mike's distant, but exasperated cry.

Alex pushes herself up onto the nearby counter and eagerly digs her nails under the cap of the pudding.  The aroma of sweet sticky chocolate wafts from the can and fills the kitchen.  Alex digs her fingers in without a second thought, licking the substance off with her tongue.  She lets out a contend sigh and closes her eyes.  She revels in the moment of bliss that is interrupted by Dustin slamming the fridge door and adding more tins to the stack on the counter beside Alex.

"Less eating, more carrying," Dustin orders.  "We gotta get this stuff to El.  I can't wait to see Mike's face when this shit works!"

"Can't you do it without me?" Alex pleads, but nonetheless, she scoops up her stack of tins in her arm, the open one at the top, and follows Dustin and Lucas out of the kitchen.

Mike is nowhere to be seen when they enter the cafeteria.  El sits alone at a table near the window but rises when the three approach them with mountains of puddings in their arms.  They dump them onto the table with a loud clatter.  El watches them curiously.

"This will charge your battery right up," Dustin tells El with a grin, digging his nails under the lid of the can that he is holding.  "I'm telling you."

"Guys!  Guys!" Mike comes sprinting into the cafeteria, chest heaving, out of breath.  There's a wild frenzy in his eyes and Alex knows that whatever he is about to say next will not be good news.  

"What is it?" Lucas asks, almost too afraid to speak.

"They found us."

author's note: so, as i was reading over this, i realized that i totally could've sent alex with nancy and jonathan to kill the demogorgon since it would make sense narratively, and honestly i think it really would've been interesting if i had done that