Zarah

He keeps saying that he's sick. I don't understand.

The headaches. I know that already.

I was getting restless and frustrated. Angry.

Then the words that I least expected came out of his mouth. The words that nobody ever wants to hear from the one they love.

"I'm dying," he said.

I feel like the whole world just collapsed around me.

I couldn't believe my ears.

I shook my head.

"If this is a joke. It's not funny," I said, my voice heavy with emotion.

"Angel... I'm so sorry," he said brokenly. His voice breaking into quiet sobs.

I stared at him as I tried to process his words.

This is just a dream. A nightmare.

This isn't real, I told myself.

"I... I... I don't understand."

"I have a brain tumour. I was diagnosed just before I met you. I..."

"The headaches?"

He nodded. "It's all part of the symptoms."

I pulled away from his grasp. He tried to stop me, but I shook my head.

"No. Don't."

He staggered back.

"I don't believe this," I cried out. "You promised me. You said... You said you wouldn't hurt me again. How could you? Why would you this to me? You made me fall in love with you. You came into my life. You made me believe... You made me believe that we had a future!" I accused.

Pain marred his face.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I broke off in sobs.

"I wanted to. I tried. I... I'm a selfish bastard. I just wanted this time with you. I didn't want this hanging over us. I wanted to be with you. I... I..."

I wanted to scream. I wanted to lash out. I wanted to do... Something. Anything.

Oh god.

I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was going to pass out.

I had to get out of here.

I just... I just can't.

I looked at him and ignored the pain and sorrow in his eyes.

I turned around and left.

He called out my name, but I ignored him. I kept going.

I was crying uncontrollably.

I got inside the car, and I was trembling.

I grabbed the stirring wheel tightly.

I slammed my hand over and over against the stirring wheel.

A few moments later, after calming myself down a bit, I started the car and drove off.

Tears were still continuously rolling down my cheeks.

His words kept repeating in my head. Over and over again.

"I'm dying."

"I'm dying."

"I'm dying."

It felt like my whole world just came crumbling down.

Out of all the things I had imagined he was keeping from me, this never entered my mind.

"I'm dying."

Oh god. What am I doing?

Oh god. I left him. I left him there.

Pain gripped my heart.

"...whatever it is that you have been keeping from me, it's not going to stop me from loving you or wanting to be with you. Whatever it is. We will deal with it together. I'm not leaving. I'm not going anywhere..." Those were my words to him and yet here I am driving off to god knows where.

What are you doing Zarah? I scolded myself.

The farther I got away from Jason's place, the more I regretted my decision to leave.

What kind of a person leaves the one they love when they need them the most?

I love Jason so much, and walking out him was just as painful as finding out about his condition.

I was cruel.

The things I said...

I walked out on the man, to whom I promised I would never leave.

I thought back to all the wonderful memories we have created together ever since we finally admitted how we feel about each other. We were happy. Then I thought back to the moments where I saw a hint of sadness, pain, fear, and sorrow in his eyes...

I gave a choked and bitter laugh.

Now I know why...

He showed his love in so many ways. He just wanted to us to be happy, he said.

He didn't want to tell me because he didn't want to hurt me and burden me with his illness. Well, no more! I won't let him deal with this alone. I won't allow him to give up hope. We can fight this. And I'll be damn if I'm going to leave him and let him go through this alone. I love him and he loves me.

I won't let him turn me away. I also won't leave him...

That's a coward's way out.

I made a u-turn and headed back to Jason's place.

I just hope he gives me a chance to explain and forgives me for walking out on him like that.

Jason

I sat on the couch and my head in my hands.

The pain in her eyes, it was worse than the pain I saw that night over a year ago.

She wasn't just hurting. She was devastated. She looked so lost.

I hurt her. I didn't mean to.

I laid back on the couch and draped my forearm over my eyes.

I kept thinking back to the night of the opera. If only I hadn't pursued her after that. She wouldn't be hurting this way.

I don't blame her for walking out. I know that she needs some time to process this. I just wish there was something I could do to make things better for her.

There are so many thoughts running through my mind. Then I heard my system alerting me that someone was entering the house.

I groaned. I'm not in the mood to deal with whoever is coming.

I grudgingly sat back up on the couch.

I heard the elevator door open before I reached the hallway.

"Whoever you are, I'm not in the mood to..." the words died on my mouth when I realized who it was.

"Angel?"

She had tears rolling down her cheeks.

She ran to me and caught me off guard but I caught her...

I'll always catch my angel...

"I'm sorry. So sorry," she kept saying over and over again.

"Please forgive me. Please," she pleaded.

"Shh... Don't cry angel. Don't say sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for," I said soothingly, as I held her, rubbing her back.

"I'm sorry. Sorry for leaving like that. I'll never leave you. I swear it. I'm so sorry," she kept repeating over and over again.

My poor angel.

"Shh... Angel, stop you're going to make your self sick crying like this," I said. She was crying and sobbing uncontrollably.

I pulled back and held her face in my hands, forcing her to look at me.

"Angel please... I'm the one who's sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you by keeping this from you. I honestly didn't know how to tell you. I've been selfish and I'm sorry. I just wanted us to be happy. I wanted to make you happy. I didn't want you to worry. Do you understand me angel?" I asked her hoping she does.

She nodded. "I do. I just... I wish you had told me."

I nodded in understanding.

"Do you forgive me angel?"

"Of course. Do you forgive me?

"There's nothing to forgive. I love you," I said and kissed her.

"Tell me honestly, Jason. Is that part of the reason why you pushed me away that night?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat.

I nodded. "Yes."

She nodded and fresh tears formed in her eyes.

"I thought it was the right thing to do. I was scared and confused too at the time. I just found out I had a brain tumour. I wanted to protect you and in the process I hurt you. I'm sorry. But then when I saw you that night at the opera, I just didn't have the strength to stay away from you anymore," I admitted.

"I love you so much, Jason and I'm not going anywhere. We're going to face this together," she said.

"I'm going to fight angel. I'm going to live for you," I promised.

She smiled, nodded, and kissed me.