Lisa's pov~

"Are you not sleeping well?", the makeup artist asked as she circled some kind of cream under my eyes."I've never seen you with dark circles before."

"Yeah.", I answered flippantly, closing my eyes and resting my throbbing head back on the chair."Just been having bad dreams."

That was a lie. I hadn't been able to sleep altogether. Neither could I muster up much interest in eating food. Insomnia and no appetite take a toll on your body and so here I was barely functioning before a performance with a pounding headache and tired limbs.

"Are you sure you're alright?", my hair stylist's worried voice asked from behind me.

I gave her a wan smile. "Yes, unnie. I'll be fine."

A scoff sounded from beside me. Jennie was not buying my excuses. "Yeah. Keep telling yourself that."

Opening my eyes to look at her, I saw her munching on an apple while flipping through a magazine beside me. She was all done up for the performance, her black lacy dress hugged her curves to perfection, her long dark hair flowing down her back and eyes looking like a cat's more so than ever.

"What now?" My exasperation was evident, she'd been giving me little disappointed head shakes all throughout the week.

Turning to me, she pushed her apple into my hand, closing my fingers around it. "Eat."

I made to protest but the death glare she gave me shut me right up. "Eat. I don't want you fainting on the stage because your stupid ass couldn't smack that Tzuyu bitch into next year when she threatened your boyfriend."

Jennie held her hands up, mimicking my voice. "'Oooooh, I'm Lisa, I'm such a Mother Teresa, I sacrificed myself to protect my boyfriend-'", she turned to me, raising her voice as she finished."-and he doesn't even fucking know."

"What could I have done? Let her ruin his career?", distress was clear on my face. "And even if I told him, how could I possibly know she wouldn't anyway?"

She sighed heavily, sliding the magazine across the table towards me. "Look at this."

I did and my breath escaped me in a rush. Shards of pain flared in my heart, making me rub my chest unconsciously. Blinking repeatedly, I willed my sudden cloudy vision to clear before any unwanted tears could slip down my cheeks.

On the page was a commercial for a luxury watch brand. Jungkook's arm around Tzuyu's neck and her hand placed over his at her collarbone as they both displayed what they were advertising on their wrists.

Didn't take him long.

But of course however much it hurt I wasn't really surprised. When I'd told Tzuyu that I'd done what she wanted she'd torn up the envelope containing the media statement and the pictures, commenting, "Good job. Now that Jungkook's rid of his side bitch, he can properly focus on his real girlfriend. Me."

I had never wanted to commit murder so badly in my life. But my anger hadn't stopped me from staying up late at night wondering if he was with her.

I hadn't wanted to look at the news, didn't want to know about kpop's "it" couple in any way, shape or form.

But however much I tried I hadn't been prepared for his indifference when he actually saw me backstage a few days ago at a music festival.

He had ignored me like I didn't even exist, laughing and practicing with his members at the rehearsals like nothing had ever happened.  I knew that he could feel my eyes on him but he hadn't turned to look at me once. For all intents and purposes, it seemed like he had moved on.

Then during the actual show, I had seen them together backstage. I was passing by his waiting room, don't know what had possessed me to do so, maybe subconsciously I just wanted him to acknowledge me once.

Hearing her tinkling laughter coming from inside, my feet had stopped and I had stood there frozen as I watched her draped all over him from the tiny gap in the door. He wasn't pretending, he had no need to. They weren't in public.

I had run out of there like my life depended on it, tears streaming down my face.

Now I was officially done with crying, the whole of last week I had spent doing not much else. Pushing the magazine away from me I muttered in a defeated voice, "What do you want me to do, Jennie unnie?"

"Look at me."

I did. Her beautiful eyes held a feisty glint in them and I knew she wanted to murder Tzuyu as much as I did. "You're a lot of things, Lisa. A cringy aegyo queen, a snorer, you steal my food, forget to clean up after yourselves, you're always late to practice-"

"I thought I was getting a pep talk here. You're just depressing me more."

"-but you're not a loser. I've never seen you give up on a hard rap or dance. You own the stage when you're on it. Why're you letting a jealous, petty and spoiled little brat of a girl lord over you like this? Why're you letting her win?"

Pursing my lips, I felt her words resonate with me, moping about like a loser was so not me. I had not let much of anything bring me down even when I was at my lowest. I hadn't given up when I was the only Thai person in YG and everyone was ordered to speak only Korean with me so I could learn faster. I hadn't given up when I had virtually no friends, my family a million miles away, a scared girl of 14 in a foreign land with no guarantee that I'll ever achieve my dreams ever.

But I had prevailed.

Looking back up at Jennie, I knew she could see the same fiery glint back in my eyes.

~

Bangtan was the last to perform, armys cheers thundering across the huge stadium in time with my rapid heartbeat.

Our manager had pressed us to return early but we'd guilt tripped them into letting us stay. If Winner oppas could stay back to be with friends, we could too. As it was Rosé and the unnies were out somewhere with Redvelvet while I waited for a chance to talk to Jungkook.

I wasn't exactly sure what my plan was here but I refused to believe he had given up on the trust we'd established between ourselves before.

So here I was backstage, pacing with nervousness. I'd never experienced this facet of Jungkook's personality before, even initially when we'd met he'd always held a warmth in his eyes for me. But more so than anyone else, I knew how ruthless and brutal he could be to those he didn't like.

With one last thunderous roar the audience outside broke into applause. I suppose the show was over.

The stage hands gathered next to the ramp leading out with hand towels and water bottles. And soon the leader came strolling in, followed by Jimin, Suga, Jin, V, J-hope. And lastly Jungkook.

He drank a whole bottle and the stylists immediately helped him out of his expensive jacket. Swallowing at the sight of ripped arms and thighs, I looked away. I was all too aware of how those felt against me and my body was going through withdrawal symptoms.

Seeing him headed to the changing rooms, I stepped forward to intercede when I had the chance.

Past the racks of clothing, I was certain nobody could hear us when I softly called out his name, "Jungkook."

He stopped, his body turning into a stone statue. Then slowly, so slowly he turned to face me.

It was as if his emotions were under lock and key, I couldn't perceive anything on his face whatsoever.

He raised an eyebrow in question, not saying a word to me at all. He was waiting for me to continue.

Not going to make this easy at all, are you?

"Can we talk?" I looked around me, at the staff and idols milling about."Somewhere private."

"I'm busy." He turned to head into the changing room.

"Wait!" I grabbed his arm out of instinct. "It's important."

He stared at my hand on his arm until I dropped it in embarrassment. Then his eyes turned to me and a chill raised up my spine."The last time you had something important to say to me you made a fool out of me and our relationship. I don't think I want to hear anymore of these "important things" of yours."

Moving to head in again, he stopped before facing me once more."Correction. I don't want to hear anything from you ever again. Leave."

"You have to." I raised my voice.

Knowing his anger was justified did not make it any easier to see the sudden distaste on his face. "Oh do I?"

"You don't understand. I did everything for y-"

"Save it. The time for explanations and exposition was when I was pleading before you to not leave me. I told you I'm not a forgiving person. Leave before you get hurt."

"But Jun-"

I was cut off when a tall curvy figure came around from behind me and wrapped her arms around Jungkook bicep, giving me a triumphant smirk before ignoring me altogether.

Tzuyu spoke in his ear but it was still loud enough for me to hear. "Can we leave now, oppa? We have a party to attend."

I bit my lip, tried my hardest to perfect the emotionless face Jungkook seemed to master so effortlessly. I don't think I looked convincing.

Jungkook seemed to search my face for something before giving Tzuyu's waist a squeeze. "Sure, Buttercup. Just give me a second to change."

Buttercup?! What the hell!

I knew he could see the outrage on my face, the smug smile on his face confirmed it.

Tzuyu giggled. "I'll help you."

And I watched in horror as both of them disappeared inside the changing room together.

A second later my phone buzzed with a text.

*Jungkook: If you still insist on talking, meet me outside my dorm at 10.*

~•~•~

Late update. But my grandmother passed away and I could barely focus on anything else this past week. Sorry if this chapter sucks, I'm kinda unmotivated.