His feet feels light yet the stomps sound heavy as he enters the train with clouded determination. 

I'll never go back - I don't care where I'll end up, but I'm never going back! 

Jungkook huffs heavy sighs when he sat in the near-empty compartment. It's close to 10pm and drizzling outside. The cold from the air-conditioned space and his half-damped hoodie had him shivering slightly, but he's too hot-headed to give it much attention. Every inch of his body screams anger and disappointment. 

It's not like it's too much to ask! I didn't ask for a lot - if I win the money, it's to help them with the store anyway! They're just using the school as an excuse to not let me out of their sight! I hate them - I hate everything! My poor life, how everything's falling apart - they're not even gonna care if I ended up in the streets with no home or food!

A melodic humming interfered the curses in his mind, and Jungkook glanced to his left to find the culprit. Sitting 3 rows away from him is a girl - facing forward with a small smile on her lips. Her backpack rests nicely beside, with 2 books on top. She's wearing an expensive-looking headphone, and he knew she had nothing much to worry about in her life.

Everything on her looks rich. That pleated skirt looked like the ones they wore in private schools. The dark blue jumper with red and white lines on the neckline and wrists looked like it's from some geeky or athletic club. Even the side profile of her face looked expensive! What's a rich girl like her doing on a train this late in the night? 

As if hearing the question-mark in his mind, she suddenly turns to glance at him. Feeling nervous all of a sudden, Jungkook looks away. He wanted to disappear, not end up in jail! The last thing he needs now is someone accusing him of any ill intentions! 

Just don't think about it...then it won't happen. That's what mom always say. But then...I kept saying I'll get in the audition and win it...and look where I am now. Running away for the first time in my life...not knowing where I'll go. Is this it? How short of a time will it be until I beg for work...or money...or will I ended up go back home -

"Hello," The cheerful voice rang so close to his ear that Jungkook ended up leaning back a little, surprised at the sudden approach.

The same rich-looking girl is now beside him. Big, round eyes resting under perfectly-trimmed bangs are looking at him, paired with a big smile that squishes her cheeks up. Why? Why is she here? Why is she talking to me?

"Where you heading to?" She continued, oblivious to the uncomfortable vibe he's letting off. 

Really, why is she talking to me - a stranger? Is she not scared? It's late, is she always this bold? It's okay...breathe...just ignore her - maybe she'll get the picture -

"You look like you're going somewhere far. Here," She unzipped her backpack. From the corner of his eyes, he watched her taking out a cloth that looked like it's knitted and noticed the inside of the bag filled with books. "To keep you warm," 

Jungkook stares at the grey, folded jumper, then at her - dumbfounded at the whole situation. 

"It's gonna rain all night. See?" She points out to the glass window. "No signs of stars at all. It's really dark so it's gonna rain for a while. You must be cold -"

"I'm not," He answered quickly, still confused as to why this pretty, preppy stranger would even care.

"Your hands are shaking," It's partly amazing how she hadn't stopped smiling.

"It's not the cold," He lied again and looks away. What a weird night...I ran away from home cus the people I loved didn't care, while this unknown girl is trying. She should really mind her own business! What if I turned out to be some lunatic on the loose??

"I'll leave this here anyway...in case you change your mind," She left it in her seat after scooting to the next one. 

Just then, the train pulled to a halt. Jungkook felt a whiff of cold breeze hitting his skin altogether, forcing his shoulders to shudder. I won't...I won't change my mind! Fuck - it's cold! 

He glanced nervously at the knitted jumper - thinking how nice it would feel to be wrapped around it - then at the girl. She's back with her headphone on, staring straight ahead. I mean...she did leave it for me. That was her choice, she can't take it back. If she laughs, she laughs - why should I care, right? 

With that thought in mind, he took the jumper and puts in on. There's a pleasant scent to it, and he instantly felt warmer the moment he pulled it down to his waist. Thank God it fits! There...nice and cosy... Well, at least I know I won't die of cold tonight! But wait - am I supposed to return it to her? She said it's gonna rain all night - that means it's not a loan, right? It's not right to just assume...should I ask? I should at least say 'thanks' -

"You're welcome," And she's back by his side.

Jeez - how is she reading me so easily??

"Thanks," He muttered.

She giggled and it took half a second for him to smile. She's really cute actually - "Ah, you cutie!" What? How - "Your dimples! You should smile often...I bet you're the cutest in your class!"

The sudden compliment left him speechless. There's not much to smile about when you grow up watching your parents marriage constantly tested. Much less to keep the poverty and sufferings inside. I'm hardly in the 'Top 10 Cutest' in my class - smile or not, that's guaranteed!

"How young are you?" She asked - which confused him because do I look so damn young that she thought I needed a company to board the train?? Is that why she's here - "I don't really like asking people how old they are...I feel the word 'old' might offend them. So how young are you?"

Oh... "Fifteeen,"

"Same as me!" She shrieked excitedly. The high-pitch of her voice made him jump a little in his seat. "There was an old barn in my mom's hometown. It used to belong to this old man before I was born. My mom said no one wanted to go through the hassle of tearing it down, but no one wanted to care for it either,"

What is she talking about now?

"It was empty, but on some season, the farmers would use it to store their harvests. On weeks when we visit, I would sneak in more during those times. A lot of fruits that I could just pick and eat. I almost got caught one time, but I hid really well...and stayed there for a whole night. My mom got so angry - she thought I was kidnapped or something, it was so funny!" She giggled.

Jungkook still have no clue as to why she's sharing this information, but he pays attention nevertheless. What else is there to do - being alone in a train to nowhere anyway?

"When they found out of my secret hideaway, my dad installed a lightbulb. Just one lightbulb, so I won't feel so scared in the dark. I was never scared but I didn't tell him that. I liked that he puts in the effort. Plus, it's funny to watch that big, old man climb the ladder!"

Is this the universe - God's way of talking him into going back home? It won't work!

"I had a phase...where I'd make bracelets out of my mom's yarns. I'd wear a different one every time I leave the house. Right before we moved, I ran as fast as I could to the barn and I left my bracelets at each corner of the barn - as if I wanted people to know that the place is claimed by someone. About a year later, it crossed my mind that whoever found it must've thought differently. As if there are girls being kidnapped and held hostage there," 

This girl giggles a lot. And talks a lot. Is it even a funny matter to be laughing at?

"I told myself...I must go back when I'm fifteen. Not just to get the bracelets back, but also to recollect how I was at ten. What I did when I was 8...and how I got to find that place when I was six. I can hardly remember the details. I remember reading a lot, dancing by myself, learning how to carve stones and watching ants climb on the bananas - those are little compared to the daily time spent. But I'd like to get that feeling back...my safe, hiding space, where I can do whatever I want and be free. I promised myself that no matter what, I'd go back when I'm fifteen. I couldn't make it though...Anyway, do you have anything you wanna do at fifteen?"

Oh...all that story-telling...just for us to go back to the age topic? I wanna be okay with how things are. I wanna be accepted. I wanna feel secure in my own home. I want my mom to stop working so much and my dad to stop drinking , so that he can focus on the shop. I wanna be a normal 15-year-old who doesn't have to think for the supposedly-trusted adults. 

Instead of answering with the things in his mind, Jungkook just shrugged. 

"I think you do," He looks up to her round, twinkling eyes. "It's okay to keep it to yourself. It's okay to talk about it too. It's okay to do anything you want, the way you want it. As long as it won't hurt yourself. And even if it hurts you, it's gonna be okay too. Just cry it out and re-do you. Just don't go around physically hurting anyone," The sound of her giggles are now somehow implanted in his mind. 

"I passed by an ice cream stall before I got on the train. I could tell that it was new because I could still smell the metal," Now what - why is she telling me this? "Or maybe it's the smell of glue. Anyway, I got a vanilla ice cream but it tasted like apple pie which is weird...so I told the old man but he was tending to another customer. A lady...very pretty. She had red lipstick on, like the shade of a seasoned strawberry. My mom had the same color. Do you think it's appropriate to wear a red lipstick to a funeral?"

Jungkook could not think of any answer to that, but he felt that it's an inappropriately random thing to ask. He couldn't say that either because he's wearing her jumper and the most basic form of appreciation he could offer is by listening to whatever she's saying.

"There was this one time in last year. There's a school trip that I was supposed to go to and the night before, my mom came into the room with that red lipstick. I didn't think I'd get to see her cus she was in Japan with my dad - he has hotels around the world so they travel a lot...but she reached just in time to send me off. I couldn't sleep when I saw her cus I got so excited. I bothered her until midnight -" She giggled again. "She forced me to read a book so I'd get tired. I ended up sleeping beside her that night,"

Is there a point to these stories of hers? Did she drank a lot of coffee today because it seems that her energy just keeps flowing on this late ride -

"I made her pinky-promise that she'll be home when I come back. She was home when I came back. I forgot to make her pinky-promise this time around. I don't think I'm ready to grow up. Adults seems to think a lot more. I'm already thinking a lot now so I'm not sure how well I'd do with more,"

He realized now how she'd always stare at him while talking - as if she considers him as a good friend to talk about her random things or whatever. Nothing about her screams shy or shame. No girl in his class had ever spoken with such fluidity and consistency as this girl - it made him wonder what those private schools have in their teachings. No one's this outspoken and blunt among his peers - even his close friends are never this open! He bets if he puts her in a room of 30 kids, she'd still stands out.

"Next year we'll be sixteen...that's like, an exercise to become an adult. You look like you'd be good at it," Is she just saying that to gauge something out of me? Could she tell just by the state of me? "Do you wanna listen to some music?" She offers her headphone.

Jungkook was never the type to accept whatever people gave to him. He has major trust issues - nothing is free in this world! But hearing her words about him being 'good at adulting' made him emotional, so to stop himself from tearing up and make a fool out of himself in front of this nice, cute, and talkative girl, he caved. Putting the headphone on, he watches the flashes of lights and its colours reflecting on the window upfront. 

For the first time of the night, he felt his heartbeat slowing down - calming to the sound of some rap music he's never heard before. Hearing the cussing and ranting made him want to laugh. What is this girl listening to - she didn't seem to have a single bad-ass bone in that small body - why is she listening to this kind of music? This is so contradicting! He didn't wanna pretend like he knows her that well, so he held it in. 

Many thoughts played on his mind. Some over and over. Like where are we now? When should I walk out? How far should I go? I don't have a lot - it'll probably last me 2 days if I eat only once a day. This is probably the worst idea I've ever had. 

Are they worried? They must be. Mom must be crying a lot. She cries a lot when she's worried. I shouldn't make her cry so much, she's already had a lot to deal with. Maybe I was too hasty. Was I too harsh?

It's okay to do anything you want, the way you want it. This too, keeps replaying in his mind. Can I really do anything I want, the way I want it to be? Would I really be good at being an adult? Mom and dad didn't think so. 

"I wanna see the world from a different angle. I always feel it could be nicer...and maybe I'll feel a little better," He mumbled, sighing a small smile. He didn't even care if she wasn't listening. It actually feels good to be able to say it out loud. "I wanna go to Seoul...win that singing contest so I can help my parents. And maybe, if there's anything left, I could save it to get out of here. Get in more contest...win more money. I wanna sing my songs. Then I'll probably have that slight chance of getting what I want. But it doesn't seem possible,"

And even if it hurts you, it's gonna be okay too. Just cry it out and re-do you.

"Golden flowers...I saw it in a picture before, I wonder if such field even exists. I'd walk in the same boots to two different cities, even if it's torn and weary. No watches so I won't have to count the time on when I'd have to leave. I'd meet with a disaster and I'd be brave at it...I won't have to pretend anymore. I'll be in continents...hearing my songs and I know there'll be at least one person who will keep hearing me. Front row...cheering every time,"

It's the first time he spoke about what he wants in the most honest and genuine that he could. Partly the reason of why he doesn't do this often - he's been told that he's too sensitive when he speaks this way. I hope it's a long ride together, just so I'd have the time to say more. A stranger. Someone I'll most likely never meet again. It feels quite liberating - I wonder why people pay so much to be heard when they can just do this - 

He felt a small poke on his shoulder and he looks over to the girl.

"This is me," She points to the station they just arrived. 

Oh...already? But... "Here," He was taking off the headphone but was stopped by her hand halfway. 

"Keep it," She hands over an iPod. An iPod! I've only seen it on posters - 

"No, no -"

"I have another one, don't worry," She laughed. "Really. Please take it. I don't need more than one," She started picking up her books and backpack.

But...this is too much. The jumper! "This -"

"If we ever meet again, you can give it back. If we don't, consider it your fifteenth birthday gift," The door opens and with the same warm smile and galaxy-filled eyes, she walks out. 

The row is now only occupied by him and it made him uneasy...even more than before. What was I thinking? I can't live alone - I can't make do alone! I...I have so much more to do - so much to say! She was there with me and now...now...I should go back! I wanna go back! Jungkook ran out just in time before the door closes.

With anxiety building in his nerves, he ran around the platform, trying to catch a glimpse of the girl. He found her the second she passed through the automatic gates. What's her name? Did she tell me her name?? 

"Miss!" 

She turns and curves up a smile. Ahh her cute smile! Jungkook jogged until he reached the gates. 

"I uh...thank you, for the jumper...and this," He points to the headphone around his neck, trying to catch his breath. "Can you uh...can you do me one more favor?"

Still with her sparkly eyes, she tilts her head to a side - ready to hear him out. Oh...she's really beautiful!

"Can you tell me something...something you think I should do. I promise I'll do it,"

He wasn't sure why he asked that, nor was he sure what to expect. All he knew was he needed something - a guide or a motivation, if you can call it - something for me to re-do me. 

"Sing fifteen songs in a space full of strangers. Any song you could think of - a place where you don't know anyone. Never the same place twice," She said simply. 

Ahh she listened! It gave him a little boost in the chest to hear it. Like a newly-developed determination, he nods excitedly. "I'll do it! I promise, I'll do it!"

"I know you can! Maybe I'll see you again one day. Front row, cheering for you," For a second, he thought he saw glints in her twinkling eyes. It disappeared when she took a deep breath. "Goodnight," 

Jungkook watched her leaving him and the station. He watched until her shadow left the stairs. He watched until he's sure she'll never come back up. All the while, one thing kept playing in his mind but was too late to say was 'what is your name?'. 

...

7 years later

The cigarette tastes like raspberries on a cold, windy night. Staring at the smoke as she longs for some unattainable extraordinary but not quite knowing the name for it, Lisa ended up thinking if there are other creatures that lives just like her. 

Drinking their evening away...coughing and sometimes crying by themselves...imagining how far ahead they'll get to outlive the clouds or the stars. 

She does this more often these days. Mistakes waiting to happen, as she knew it would. That strange feeling of longing when she stood still at a train station on a rainy night, too far away yet not too long ago. She would feel the same in a 24/7 convenient store, buying a soda she didn't feel like drinking...or walking aimlessly on a busy street while knowing exactly where she would end up at. 

That feeling as if something is missing in her life and not knowing what it is. Perhaps it was never there in the first place. Or perhaps she got close to reaching it, but she never realized it. 

"Hey," She slowly turns to the voice calling from her side. "Oh wow...I thought you looked beautiful from a far but up close..." His eyes sparkled to match his awe. "You're gorgeous! You must get this a lot, huh?" 

From his deep, dark gaze and crooked smile, Lisa scans down to the biker fit he had on his tall, firm built. The dark brown boots forces her mind to recall on something, but the memory failed to appear. His face looks European, but his sounded very American. Pretty...enough... 

"Not a local?" She asked before taking another long drag of the stick in her hand. 

"Just passing through. Snow's not really my thing...I alway ride out when it's winter," He took a seat on the chair beside, leaning close to her. "Are you traveling too? You don't look like a local," His tone turned softer and Lisa knew it's only a matter of time before he starts being cocky.

"No?"

"No...you look like you're from somewhere far...not anywhere near the rest of us mortals. You're bearing secrets to life?"

He really tried to be clever. "No,"

"If you don't mind me asking, what's a pretty girl like you doing here by yourself?" Please come up with something more interesting.

"I mind actually. Why, can't a pretty girl have a drink after a hard day at work?" She smirked and saw him lick his lips. Okay, that's kinda sexy...

"You can do whatever you want, honey...no matter what, it's a spectacle to watch, I bet," The seduction is not lost on her. "I'm Jordan, by the way," He held out his palm, flashing his perfect rows of teeth in a charming smile. A strand of hair fell on the side of his forehead, and she thought of how it would feel to stroke it in between her fingers.

Ever since she moved here, Lisa always thought she wanted love to be wild. Maybe a little messy. She imagined it to be exhilarating to a point that she'd barely keep up with it. She wanted it to cause her pain - rip her heart open with the occasional ache and excuses so she won't feel the emptiness that's been occupying it. What she found though, is that it's always short-lived. Flames that sparks so fast, dies even faster. 

"Lisa,"

Mistakes waiting to happen, as I knew it would. 

...

She always thought there's something timeless about sitting outdoor and watching the sun sets itself in the far horizon. From the balcony of a small, cheap motel room occupied by a bunch of wanna-be experimentalists and ideologists, she watched the golden hues turning darker as each seconds passed. She could hear the rantings and chantings - celebrating nothing that's worth celebrating with shots of cheap alcohol and every time they cheer, she knew someone in there had successfully stood straight. 

Drugs and alcohol...these people like to pretend that they're medicines. Ones who were never satisfied but didn't quite know what it truly takes to fill in those holes. Lisa knew she would've accepted them as her own kind if it weren't for the fact that they aren't. None of those people in there felt the same longing as her - that, she began to realize. They acted like they belong to each other, but none claims the ownership of one another. 

Lisa never pretended to be high and mighty over it though. There were moments when she actually fell into these pools, to be honest. It was fun, being blinded by it. Passion and ecstasy blends perfectly when you're in need of any feelings at all. But now...for the first time since she'd stepped foot in California, the weight of that emptiness inside of her is shouting for a stand. 

She came back in only to feel worse. It's like she's from the outside, looking in. Beer cans, opened and crushed...glasses and bottles...all scattered along little rolled papers and powders on the coffee table, some on the floor. The girls and guys whom she knew from too many wasted nights are either laughing or spacing out...and the scent of cigarettes and sex made her feel sick to a point of vomiting. 

How...when did I get here?! The room now seems too small for this size of rowdy crowds! This is not the high that she was used to. Despite having alcohol and chemicals in her system, Lisa couldn't help but hear her mind loud and clear. A full circle of shame, panic and paranoia washes over her all too sudden and she felt like she couldn't breathe. I need to get out of here!

It's embarrassing, really...had I ever shown my wanting? How many times did I tell myself to stop this...romanticising a friendship...relationship - whatever the hell this is! There's nothing timeless about it - not from here! Her body felt sick, and her heart even sicker. 

"Hey Lis, where you goin?" 

She stopped her tracks as she reached the door. Acting nonchalant, she turns to Candy, who's sitting comfortably on Jordan's lap. Lisa used to think Candy looks pretty cute, with her tanned skin, blonde hair and bouncy personality to match her perfect all-American smile. Looking at her now though, not so much. 

"Back," She answered simply, not wanting to appear bothered.

"You're comin back though right? We're off to Luna later,"

She calmly gave a second pause when all she wanted to do is scream her heart out. More drinking...more smoking...and more of me smiling - laughing like it's the most fucking hilarious thing to do whenever I see you put your hands on him. Ahh to not be so fucking bothered by shit - what a life. "No,"

She raised her eyebrows slightly when Candy sat straight, frowning at her. "No? But we need you there -," Me or my money? Just say it. "Jordy, tell your woman you need her there!" She started giving Jordan tiny slaps on the chest.

For the first time since they got here this evening, Jordan's eyes land on Lisa. The slight frown softens but she's still not bothered. "My woman," He pushed Candy slowly to sit on the couch and came forward. "Why are you leaving me so early?" His breath smells strongly of musky cigarette and cheap lipsticks. It made her sick to think that she had spent so much time with this guy. 

"One. Never your woman. Two. I can go whenever, wherever I want. Three. Go take a shower or something cus you're disgusting," She was ready to leave when he tugs her on the elbow, jerking her back to his chest.

"I've always liked that fire in your eyes, Lis...but you know that already, don't you?" His breathing is ragged but the tone of threat sounded so loud that her heart began thumping harder. Within seconds, Lisa felt sober.

"Get your fucking hands off me!" She shook but couldn't break away from his arms.

"Always a doll," His fingers started roaming around her neck, going up to cup her face hard. "Always so polite, right?" 

She shook again - trying to be free from his strong, filthy grip. When it's clear that he's not letting go, Lisa stood still.

"Good girl...come here, look at me," Jordan turned her around to face him. It doesn't seem that the others paid no attention to her life - it's as if everyone's oblivious to the fact that a quarrel is happening right under their noses. No...not oblivious...just plain intoxicated. "Now...be a doll and stay with me. Hey hey...look at me," His strong palm grips on her chin, forcing her to do exactly what he wants her to. "I like it when you look at me. You know how jealous I'd get when you look at someone else, right?"

She could feel her chest rising high and low as she suppressed her need to calm down. The pounding is so heavy that she felt she might faint. I should've just walk out. I shouldn't have turned. No. I should've not taken his hand that night at the bar. This is just another mistake.

"Jordy...you're hurting her," Candy suddenly appeared - her voice as melodic as a little girl's whining and her hand rubbing softly on his shoulder. "It's okay if she needs to go. She'll still pay for us, right?" And there it was.

Her eyes twinkled but Lisa saw no sparks in them. Just intentions. Pure, obvious intentions that she's been pretending not to see and now, being laid out in the open. Regardless, it gotten Jordan's grip to soften. Can't say she's surprised though. 

Just a matter of time before it comes out. It's always the reason I'm kept around, isn't it? Korea or Cali - there's no difference after all! She wanted to laugh like a madwoman. She wanted to go so crazy loud that they'd have to call for help as she burns the place down with everyone in it. Jordan would beg to put out the fire in her eyes and Candy would kneel down to her feet. She wanted the image to be real so much but instead, Lisa reached into her purse and took out all her cash - shoving it hard against Candy's chest as Jordan backs away.

"You know..." She sighed a bitter laugh. "If you spend it wisely, there'll be extra there in case you wanna go get yourself some self-dignity,"

"Lis...that's not nice," Jordan gave another threatening look.

"Oh right..." Her hand went back into her purse and she took out the coins from its small zipper. "Here's some for you too,"

...

7 months after

When will it be
When I see you, face to face
I'll look you in the eye and say
I miss you
In the fascinating memory
Even if I dance alone
The rain still pours

...

It never failed to make her smile, even in less than a minute. His voice would echo louder in this coffee bar amidst the clinking of glasses and chatty noises. He would always sound louder than the rest of the world. She's still wondering if it's because of the ever-growing crush she has on him or he's just that good at sitting still on that stage while strumming softly on his guitar and serenading the crowd with his honey-like voice.

Looking at the many tables occupied by pretty ladies – doing nothing but concentrating hard at the small stage with their heart-eyes that could pop out at any time now – it's most likely the latter. The sight made her sigh but she kept in mind that everyone has their own luck and hers will come at the end of the show, when the place is closing.

The only thing that kept her smiling are nights like these. Two days a week...that's all she needs. She'll get to see him...hear him. No matter what happens for the rest of the days, she'll still look forward to breathing in the air for the next time when she'll get to see him again. That's not too much to ask, right?

"Just ask him out already," The whisper from behind made her shoulders jumped. Bobby rested beside her and smirked.

Lisa pouts, turning back to the handle of the coffee machine in her hand. "Stop teasing me,"

"I'm not teasing you. I'm motivating you. There's a difference,"

"Appreciate your generosity but..." She paused to smile. "I don't need it. I'm fine,"

Bobby snickered before attending to a customer who appeared in front of the register. Phew...that was close! I should really be used to it by now – why am I still gawking?? He just looks familiar, maybe that's why I was always intrigued.

"Everyone who'd pay enough attention could see it," And he's back. "The only people who never seemed to notice how head-over-heels you are with him is...well...you and him. I'm still figuring out why though. I mean...you're always watching when he's not looking. I know you're shy and all...I'm still wondering why he hadn't caught up to it yet,"

"That says a lot, right?" He has a girlfriend. I mean...even if he doesn't have one, it's still not gonna happen but I'm fine with it. Right...I'm fine...just admiring him from a far like this is fine. "Leave it be,"

"I can't. I sort of sworn on my grandma's grave that I'll live for the day when I see you get a boyfriend –"

"That's unfortunate," She chuckled and joked, "Wait, is that why you sold your bike? Did you finally realized that it's a death-trap and you won't live for long?"

"I sold it to an admirer. Ask me who," An eyebrow cocked up and his eyes turned towards the brick walls with its decorated fairy lights.

Oh no. No, no, no. "You sold it to him? Bobby!!" She groaned with frustration as if she had just baked a mudpie.

"What? He liked it and I needed the extra money. I've been saving up for a car. Just another upgrade for me to look cooler than I already am," His eyes twinkled, looking like he's so proud of this new-found dream. Noticing how unimpressed she looked as she ignored him, he continued, "Andrea's scared of the superbike. She never wanted to be on it – it's annoying,"

"Stop whining. Your girlfriend said you always go too fast so it's really your fault,"

"How is it my fault?"

"You got her worried. You got into an accident twice already – both where you ended up in the emergency. You brought it on your own. You're always a show-off when you're on that bike and it's no wonder that he admired it. And now you sold it to him –"

"Sometimes I wonder if you realize that you're younger than me,"

She rolled her eyes unintentionally. "It's not rocket-science. She's worried. That's what people do when they really like someone, you know,"

"Ahh...just like how you're worried that I sold it to Jungkook?" The snarky comment was uncalled for and it made her blush. "Just so you know, he only started asking me bout the bike three weeks ago...you know...that night when I had the new airbrush on it and you said it looked cool,"

"That doesn't mean anything. Stop trying to –"

"Just wasn't sure if you noticed that he was there...just behind you that night,"

"Still doesn't mean anything," A coincidence...that's all there is to it. "Maybe he thought the same,"

...

She always took her time before going back on days like this. It wasn't just the pretty fairy lights hanged from the rustic bricks of the walls in the alley that's holding her back...nor was it the pretty boy with his ever-so-subtle ways in making her heart flutter – but always seemed so out of reach. Maybe it's both...maybe it's the environment. The streets always have some sort of stories to tell, although her interest is beginning to fade.

Lisa had moved to this city 5 years ago. A lot has changed since then, even herself. She liked to think it's for the better - although she would still prefer the fun, energetic little girl that she was back then. Funny how things never turn out the way you expect it to be. The whole 'adapting to what was expected' really took its course. 

It was particularly hard when she first felt the fall-out of things but now...now she's just used to it. Experiences...wrong choices...they did a lot since she first got here. What to do and where to go - who to trust and how much she could trust them. Staying grounded and independent had been something she trained for since she was little but that night...a night filled with tears and broken hopes...it brought a new kind of loneliness. And just like that, most of her old self evaporates like a much needed breeze in a hot desert.

She tried to move on as how she thought her parents would want. She tried smiling and laughing like how she used to but somewhere along the way, she just lost touch with everything. Now, she felt like her soul had aged by a hundred years. Nothing much impresses her anymore. It's just the daily, mundane routine...well...except for the two-times-a-week that she looked forward to.

Come on, cheer up! Everything is okay and I'm just fine. I stopped drinking so much - or so often at least! Very few mistakes happen when you're sober so that's good. I'm already fine now, right? A nice house for my sanctuary. It's not always as lonely as it were before and it'll only get better! 

Hopping with that gleeful thought into the playground she always passed by on her way home, Lisa took a seat on the swing. The weather have been weird lately. The metals are cold in this ever-summer night breeze, and the rusts let out frozen, squeaky sounds as she moved on it slightly. Still, the silence and ambiance found its way to warm her heavy little heart. 

Despite the lack of motivation around, Lisa truly enjoyed the life she's making for the past 7 months. She wouldn't say it's the new her because nothing much has changed in that department, but it's indeed a new chapter which doesn't involve her getting drunk all the time and running off other broken wild-and-frees, only to crawl back with disappointments. She could even say that there are wonderful people around if she were to pay a close enough attention, slowly thawing her bitter heart. 

Like the kind ones I met at my workplaces...and there's always that eye-candy that makes my heart happy...

Sure, it wasn't as grand or sociable as what others expect it to be, but she learned in time that those were never her style anyways. She wasn't aiming to be a 'somebody' in this world...just someone who's independent enough to find her own track in life...and maybe be a tiny bit happier than she was 7 months ago -

"Hello," A voice appeared out of nowhere and Lisa almost fell off the swing when she turned her head around.

...

"Oh...hello," Her small, awkward smile had him thinking twice.

Walking far behind her was intentional...coming up to her like this and actually talking to her wasn't. What's wrong with me tonight? In the pleasant evening of his usual far-diverted route back, something had nudged him forward.

The cold or curiosity. Most likely her usual small voice cheering 'good night!' to everyone before she left – replaying itself in his mind. All those nights of thinking how he could possibly have a proper conversation with her had finally come to this. At a small park where she never stopped before but did tonight.

A million words...so much to say. So much so, that I should probably take a step back. I should just leave. "It's late,"

She looks around with a few small nods. Her eyes have the exact same shape and twinkle. Her bangs are still sitting nicely. And her beautiful smile that never left her lips - Jungkook felt like he's taken a trip down memory lane, far from this land.

"Have a good night, Jungkook," Then she turned back, swinging slightly as if she didn't care that the night's breeze might take her away.

I shouldn't have said it. Now she thinks I'm just passing a remark. But then...what else can I say?

Hello Lisa. I've been wanting to talk to you...for the past 5 months. More than just the drinks that I want at the end of the night. More than just a little bow and a 'goodnight', passing by around the staff at work. I've been wanting to tell you that I think you're beautiful...for a while now, I've been wanting to say just that. And maybe ask you out. If you're free. I'll wait for when you're free and maybe we can talk. Maybe I can find out if you're really her, and maybe you'd be proud to know –

"Are you waiting for someone?" He couldn't help but mutter out a question before any of those rehearsed words could force its way out.

"Nope...just killing time," Her voice is small, and he caught the puff of air leaving her plump lips as she sighs. Is something troubling her? She always seemed like she's bearing unspoken thoughts in all those times he got to stare at her. Even when she smiles...

Jungkook braved himself to step forward. So much to say... "It's always nice around this time, isn't it?" He tried softening the edges of his jumbled mind. She nods again, still smiling. I wish I knew what she's always smiling about. "I um...I always prefer this silence too. Hints of the living are still there, but never too close –"

"Is this your way home too, Jungkook?"

The question caught him off-guard. There he was, trying to appear cool and philosophical about the night and now he'd have to lie. "Something like that," He scratched the back of his neck unknowingly – a nervous habit he never seemed to let go. "I like to walk around before I go back," Did I stutter? Maybe.

"Helps to think, doesn't it?" She looks up when he reached her side.

Those big, round eyes are more mesmerising whenever he could catch them on him. Maybe cus she's so close to me...or maybe cus I feel like we could stay as long as we can this time.

Gathering more courage, Jungkook walked by and sat on the swing next to her. The metals felt cold through his jeans, but he didn't flinch. Be cool...like the swing and the night. "Is there something bothering you?"

She giggled the moment he asked. Was that how I remembered it? It's been too long... "How much are you charging per session?"

It made him laugh too. Not the amused type...the nervous one.

"Nothing in particular, really. You don't have to sit here with me, you know...like you said, it's late," He knew she didn't mean anything by it, but it still made him calculate his next move.

"I'm not in a rush. I only meant that it might be dangerous for you to be alone out here by yourself,"

"Ahh...a concerned citizen! You should be given a medal just for that thought, you know? Really hard to find one of those nowadays..." She looks up to the open trees and the dark sky, swinging lightly by her feet. "I always pass by here, but I never dared to stop. I had exactly that in mind...that someone might notice and harass me but tonight..." She lets it trail.

"You don't have to worry, Lisa. You're always walking ahead of me so if anything happens, I'll keep you safe," Wait, does that sound corny?

"Really? I never noticed that you walked this route too –"

"Y-yeah..." His palms began sweating. "Like I said...I'm not in any rush,"

She nods. Maybe now she'll stop asking me about my route...just please don't ask where I live –

"I've enjoyed your performances. I've never gotten the chance to talk to you so I don't think I've ever told you this...but you're really good,"

The compliment made his heart flutter madly. All too sudden, all too loud. All those acknowledgements...while hers sounded the best. Fuck, if this isn't it then I don't know what is! "Thank you. I'm really glad you liked it...I practiced quite a lot. Are there any songs you liked in particular?"

"I have a favourite...but I won't tell you which one it is,"

Why? Why won't she tell me??

"Not even a hint?"

She shook her head playfully, looking like a cute, blushing, fluffy ball of snow cone if he were to be honest! 

"Why?" Why do you have to look this cute?? You look just like the girl in the train - all giggly with those twinkling eyes -

"Cus the song I liked...the way you sang it...it's like you truly meant it – and I'm sure you're living it. So I'm guessing that it must be something that's personal to you. And if I told you which one it is, I bet it won't sound the same anymore,"

Jungkook never realized how deep he was when he sang on the small stage...or anywhere for that matter! There were only a couple of songs which he'd get serious with, and those of which he sang for 'her'. Which one...fuck – which one is it??

"You seemed like you've lived nine lives of heartbreaks when you sang it. Your eyes would look sad...and you'll have a little frown...just around here," She pointed to her own forehead, in between her eyebrows. 

Show me exactly where! Look at me and show me! "I didn't think you paid much attention when I'm playing," It came out in rasps before he could even stop it. Staring at her face now – so close by his side - could drown him.

She sighed a laugh, looking down to her wiggling feet. It dawned on him that she does that a lot. Looking at everything else but at the person she's talking to. Even at the cafe - "Sometimes...when I have the time,"

The night is a blessing. 6 years and 5 months...I've waited 5 months to do this. "I'm glad. I'm glad you had the time. And maybe...I hope you'll have more time after this,"

The silence is bearable. He welcomes it actually. Like a forest to be reckoned with, these words are hard for him to say. The words that would best describe his 'feelings' for her would be in Korean, just what he's good at. It always sounded so beautiful in his own ears, just like her. He does what he only could - to write it down, making it into a song. He almost forgot how she had changed his life within just half an hour until he saw her again. 

He had been living in a fantasy since he started performing at the cafe – a made-up world in his mind – that it is just him and her, in a quiet little world where only his heart is speaking, and she would smile and listen with such care, understanding every word of it. Just like she did that night. She would keep it in an ocean of admiration, and the tidal will grace itself to only help with her loneliness.

"Are the Korean songs covers...or did you write them yourself?" The hesitation in her voice brought a realization.

So it's one of the songs I made? "Very few are covers," Most are those I wrote for her - for you! Please...please let those be the one!!

Her lips parted slightly as she nods. "I think all the songs that you sang in Korean sounds good. The fact that I can't tell the difference makes it amazing...makes it 'you'. You're really talented...but I'm sure you've heard this many times,"

Right...but yours are the only one that mattered. "Thank you...really, to hear that makes me feel happy –"

"It's not a Grammy," She giggled.

God, I hope she remembers me! Still so enigmatic. And cute! And so generous with her compliments – please, I've been searching for you for a long time!

...

It's probably the nerves that had her giggling this much because really – how can she not when her crush is sitting beside her, enjoying the night and keeping her company like this? It's surreal! She knew he was just being the 'polite-and-nice' so-called colleague but still...it didn't stop her heart from fluttering like crazy! More so when he started asking personal details of her.

"I moved here around five years ago. It was just something I had to do back then," She smiled down to her feet rather shyly.

His frown made her wonder what he's thinking of. Or maybe he just zoned-out. Why do I feel like I've seen that little frown before? "Ahh no wonder. You looked like a local...and seemed comfortable with everyone –"

"Not everyone," There's the giggle again, escaping her mouth before she could stop it. "I'm comfortable with the café staff cus I've worked with them for almost two years now,"

His lips formed a small 'o' as he nods. It always seemed like he's thinking about something...digesting maybe. Or perhaps forming an opinion on her in his own mind. Perhaps he's heard of my past.

"What about you? Are you studying here?"

"No...I was just traveling at first. It was sort of um...something I always do since I graduated. I came to California with friends...went around and did a few road-trips across. La Brea was actually my last stop before I go back to Korea, but I decided to stay,"

Oh wow...did he fell in love with this place so much? "I mean...the high streets are cool and all and the beach is nice – but it's always better in imagination, I feel. But maybe it's cus I've walked through this place for longer,"

He nods again with a small, secretive smile. "Can you keep a secret?" Charming...handsome and charming. Of course she nodded! His eyes twinkled when he looks up at her. Oop - look away!

"You might laugh if I tell you this –"

"It won't be an insult, I promise," It's all she can guarantee because not giggling like a stupid fan-girl is not an option.

He sighs a laugh and stares back to the openness forward. "I was walking...it was sort of the last stroll of the evening. I had my luggages ready at the hotel for the long flight back, but I felt like walking,"

She listens attentively, just as how she always did whenever his voice appears. 

"I saw a girl...she was walking in the opposite direction from me. She seemed familiar...like I've met her before and I've been wanting to meet her again. And I'm not sure why but when she passed by me, I thought I felt something. Like a bell ringing in my head, silencing everything around. It's probably a silly thing to do, but my feet just took over,"

Oh...okay, brace yourself, Lisa. It might be difficult to hear all this, but this is when you'll find out the 'love story' of him and his 'infamous' girlfriend. As if it wasn't already hard to swallow in all the times he said it to the girls he brought to the bar at the end of his show!

"Before I knew it, I'd gone and followed her around. Not in a harmful way, of course...just needing to know her - to find out if she's really someone I've met before. Every time she stopped or took a turn, I wanted to approach her...to introduce myself. But I couldn't. And every time, I figured I've walked that far...so I might as well keep going. It seemed like she wasn't sure where to go as well. She kept halting...being confused...looking left and right as if she's wondering where she's supposed to go. I think she had a few drinks and that's why. Still, I was thinking of any possible ways that I could go up to her and say 'hello'. When she stopped, I stopped. The more she walked, the more I felt like protecting her...making sure she gets to where she wanted to safely. The evening turned into night and by the end of it, I saw her going into the café,"

Huh? "The café? Our café?"

He nods. Was that where he approached her? She must've felt so special with all his efforts...so needed. Was that why he suddenly showed up asking for a job there? Because it holds this special memory? Ahh to be so lucky...

"I've been waiting for a long time to feel that...to find her, so I stayed," He shrugged, as if it wasn't a big deal.

Let me get this straight... "So you were on a holiday...and you met a girl for not even a day...not knowing who she was...and you stayed?" His small smile is still there as he nods. Wow...it must've really been love! That's quite a motivation!

He pursed his lips and shook his head. "You didn't laugh,"

"It wasn't funny. You must be a romantic,"

"Isn't everyone?"

"Most would probably be realistic...you know...they have jobs, or things at home they need to take care of. Some sort of responsibility. Not many of us can call on an indefinite holiday for long -"

"What if...I'm being realistically romantic?" Lisa blinked, not quite catching. "I met someone who changed my outlook on life. The likeliness of it happening again or meeting her again was like...ridiculously low. In those few hours, I had to make a choice. I could go back...pretend it was this once-in-a-lifetime magical moment just like before, or I could stay...and see where I'll end up with it. The only thing I had to do is figure out how I'll be able to survive on my own here. No friends. No family. And the future is vague. But I made that choice, so I'm living it as realistically as I can,"

"What if...hypothetically-speaking...that it doesn't work out the way you expected it to be?"

"Then it doesn't. I'm not living in a dreamland, if that's what you're thinking. I grew up scared of dreaming, but then it showed up at the least expected timing. It's a dream, yes...but I learned that dreams exist only for you to run forward, is it not? The only obstacle in my dream is time...and maybe courage. It's how I do me. And someone once told me that even if something hurts me, I can cry about it and re-do me,"

It came in waves. Over and over, those last few words crashes down - forcing her to recall when was the last time she ever said that to anyone. Is it a common advice? I've never heard anyone saying it before. It was from Mom. Mom used to say it to me -

"Lisa?"

...

Even just from her profile, watching her face changing from the usual smiles into nothing at all convinced him that she's the one. His heart leaps at the thought that she's recalling it.

Jungkook braved himself to reveal the truth when she asked who told him that. "A girl I met on a train back in Korea. When I was fifteen to be exact,"

She looks down to her feet. Why the sudden change of mood? Is she not as happy as I am to be reminded of that night? But she needs to know!

"I was running away from home that night. For the first time...I felt so angry with my parents cus they won't let me skip school to attend a singing contest. I think the prize was around 500 million won. I was gonna use that money to save my dad's shop and for the house rent. We were close to being evicted, so I really wanted to help. But they didn't understand. My mom kept brushing me off - saying school is more important. My dad - who just returned home smelling like he just showered himself with booze - he started shouting at me. We argued a lot that night, and my mom ended up slapping me. I felt hopeless...and I thought, if it's so easy for them to give up everything - the house, the shop - it's only a matter of time before they give up on me,"

When she doesn't respond, he continues, "I was determined to live on my own when I boarded the train. I didn't know where I was going, where I should be going. All I knew was I wanted to get away. Far from the miserable life we had. But I met this girl. She was really chatty. I remember not knowing how to react when she gave me her jumper. She said I might be cold from the rain. I remember not wanting her help, cus it made me feel even more pathetic. But she was right, it was cold as hell. I still keep that jumper...I promised myself that if I ever see her again, I'll return it,"

He tried his best to not turn to her while recalling that day. The day that changed his life.

"Maybe she thought I looked poor. The expensive jumper, the iPod and headphone. Maybe she thought I'd spent my teenage years wanting those. Maybe that's why she acted so kind -"

"Or maybe you just looked like you're lost," He glanced up to her. With glints in her eyes and a small smile, she maintained her face forward. "She was probably lost too. Always left alone...while trying her best to not be,"

"It's you," He breathed - no longer able to keep it in himself. I knew it since the first time I saw her on that street! Something in her eyes...or maybe her presence. Please look at me. "I've been waiting for you to show up - you said you might see me again -"

She giggled , yet he saw a tear fell straight to the ground. "I'm sorry...I thought you looked familiar but I didn't recognize you. I um...I tried really hard to forget about that night...and I guess I forgot about that train ride too,"

Jungkook's not sure how to react to that. He had kept that memory locked for so long, with hopes that she remembers him too. But of course, after months or so, he began thinking they were not destined to meet again. Still, like the magic he felt that night, he kept wishing this day would come. But to hear this...what now? Was it such a bad experience? Did she regret giving those gestures to me -

"It wasn't you, if that's what you're wondering," 

It is - it's exactly what I'm wondering! How - is she a mind-reader?? She was good at guessing back then too!

"That evening...I got a call from my aunt. I was to pack all my books in the locker and bring it home. There was an accident...'bad news' she said. All throughout the train ride home, I tried to distract myself. I told myself 'it's not the worst - not the worst', over and over. I lost my parents that night,"

"I'm so sorry, Lisa," He said, even with the heavy need to know everything. There I thought I was at my lowest...while she'd been struggling with worse. What really happened? Did she know while she was on that train, trying to patch me together? 

"It's a long time ago, I'm fine now," Sighing a smile, she pursed her lips and looks up. "Wait, you did asked for something right? Before I left - what was it -"

"Yeah..." He ruffled the side of his hair, smiling down embarrassed. "I asked what you think I should do. You told me to sing, never the same place twice -"

She gasped and laughed. "Ahh my childish mind!" 

It wasn't but he didn't want to break the twinkling in her eyes. It's better than seeing her tears.

"I'm sorry!" She cringed. "I hope I didn't put you in any trouble,"

"You didn't," Yes, I got chased away by some authorities and there was that one time where a gang of high-schoolers came and took the money...but it's hardly what I'd call 'trouble'! "It made me happy. Sort of like therapy...so thank you,"

The little giggle. The puffy cheeks. Those starry-like eyes - please look at me like you did that night!

"This feels good! I was a bit lost just now...when you mentioned the 're-do you' thing. I've only heard it from my mom and I was trying to recall," Her infectious grin made his heart flutter. "Maybe this is how it feels like when you meet an old friend. It brings you back,"

...

There's a certain type of glee in her chest to find that she knew Jungkook after all. She always wondered why he looked a bit familiar, but a bigger part of her was busy swooning over him. Now that she had found the answer, it made her a little bit comfortable to be sitting - or now, walking - by his side. We were colleagues...and now we're friends! I have one more friend - progress!! Maybe I won't drool so much after this!

"After a while, I didn't cap it at fifteen," He answered when she asked if he really did what she asked him to before. "Never the same place twice. I just kept doing it until it became sort of like a routine. I'll find a new place every day, even if it's only yards away. It's a good exercise...I was a little nervous at the beginning, but I got the hang of it. Then it's just a matter of time,"

With one hand in his pocket, the other rubs the back of his neck. Lisa tried hard not to turn her small seconds of glances into stares.

"I had 26 cards. I kept them for a year or so. It gave me time to think about what I really wanted to do. I started contacting them back when I almost graduate. I told them that I recorded a few songs...those that I wrote on my own. Some listened...most wanted a talent they can groom but I know I didn't wanna be a singer. I love music, I enjoy singing, but ultimately, I wanted to produce. Then one day, I got a call from this guy...he stumbled on my demo, and that's where my career began,"

Oh...so he has a career back home? Or had? Did he leave it for his girlfriend? Many more questions running through her mind, but most importantly,

"Are you happier now than when you were back then?" 

It made him laugh adorably. "Yes, much more, I think. Sometimes I looked back...and it made me feel small, helpless. It's a good reminder,"

Lisa began facing him and walking backwards. "If you can meet your fifteen year old self...what would you have told him?"

His eyes shined with sparks of amusement. Too long - too long of an eye contact! "I'd probably tell him that it's not the end of the world..." He looks up, thinking. "And that my mom loved me more than anything...and she was only thinking for the best of my future - she didn't want me to act like an adult just yet," Sighing another laugh, he placed both hands in the pocket of his jeans and looks down to his feet. "And I'd tell him to ask for your name at least,"

Lisa laughed because it made her heart jump crazily. He probably meant it in a very innocent way, but it made her feel good nonetheless!

...

"I have a question," Jungkook leans forward while waiting for her to close the bar. A bright smile appears across her lips, but her eyes are fixed on wiping the mixer's lid clean.

"You have thousands of questions," 

"Millions, just to prep you. Been keeping tabs for seven years so I'm making up for the lost time," He flashes a proud grin but she only caught it for like, 0.02 seconds. He didn't miss the smirk though.

"Don't smile like that. You look like a bunny,"

A what? "A...a bunny?" I was aiming for 'charming'! A charming prince - okay, that might be a stretch. A charming musician, that's more like it! Boyfriend-material -

"Not the real one...like one of those animated version. Cute ones,"

No. No. She's the cute one - I'm supposed to be the charming guy who gets to sweep you off your feet -

"So what's the question?" 

Jungkook snaps out of the miserable, imaginary world where he is just a little bunny in the forest - big, teary eyes looking high up to the tower where the princess (a.k.a Lisa) sings alone in the hopes of calling for her true love to rescue her. He wanted so much to be that prince...but no, he's just a small, cute-looking, animated bunny.

"Do you have like a...maybe - just maybe," He stuttered only because the 'bunny' word still lingers in his mind. 

"A boyfriend?"

He blinked. I knew the answer to that but if she wants to tell me out loud, I'd welcome it too! "Also, the ability to read minds,"

She giggled. "I've seen people being nervous over that question. I'm only assuming," Just like in the many times he'd seen before, her smile seems to bear secrets of her own. "No, I don't have a boyfriend and no, I don't read minds, Jungkook,"

He might be staring at her with a puppy-doe-eyes look too much but he didn't care. He didn't care if the other staff around them could see how head-over-heels he is for her because all that matters right now is her, telling him that she doesn't have a boyfriend - even if he already knew that! 

"I've been wondering how you always managed to catch what was on my mind,"

"Hmm...years of experience really," She wiped the edges of the sink and threw the wet cloth into a wooden basket. "Anyone could be a mind reader if they observe hard enough. They only needed time to do that,"

"Most people don't have the time,"

"They do. They just use their time to be observed instead. No one wants to be the doctor - it's just how we are, isn't it? Always wanting the care and affection, not particularly free enough in giving. There's nothing wrong in both circumstances,"

"Not saying there is. Now I'm wondering if you've ever been sick before," 

Lisa stopped her tracks and glanced at him. Even within those few seconds, he could see the slight frown underneath her bangs. She looks as if she couldn't comprehend what he was saying. 

He had been making full use in each seconds to hours spent with her since that night, trying to figure her out. Not much have been uncovered, unfortunately. Jungkook realized that he began to see her like he sees the moon. She would slip in and out of darkness, in her own phases and half faces. She wouldn't look him in the eyes for long, no matter how many times he made her laugh. She wouldn't share more than just the vague idea of her and it's beating him down.

What really happened to the girl on the train? She talked a lot but not this girl. She even went on and on about that old barn and bracelets of hers just to make a point, and Jungkook could only remember it so well because of those details. Was it the loss of her parents that scraped it away? Or are there more?

Before she recognized him as the  performer of the house, he used to pass by the same street in the hopes of running into her again. He wanted more time in the day to maybe build his courage but the fact that Lisa never raised her eyes to his stopped him each time. 

Every time he did see her, he would recall from where she'd showed up. It was from that corner where she turned left - and he would take those steps forward and waited for the next time. Each day was spent to be closer to her until finally, it led standing underneath a large bar sign. In the space of alcohol-stench and cheap perfumes, she would sit by herself for hours - dismissing anyone who tried to go up and talk to her.

He watched her daydream through glasses of clear or golden liquids and even from 20 feet across the bar, he could hear her silent weep. She was a complete stranger 7 years ago with so much to say that eventually sparked the fascination in him. And she was a stranger 7 months ago who said nothing at all, yet still seemed be the light in his eyes.

She'd been sitting there quietly. Her walk after had been messy. Following far behind her were like a long road of twists and turns and he never could find himself fitting in the plan on mind. It hurts him to see her that way back then and thankfully, she hadn't been to the bar quite as often now. 

When she leans forward a little to take his empty glass and coaster, he noticed a little scar - a small, barely-there scar on one side of her neck.

"How did you get that?" He pointed and watched her rubbing on it. For a second there, he thought she was nervous about being asked. Just for a second.

"Always so curious, aren't you?" How did she do that?? She always managed to sound so indifferent whenever he tries to get closer. 

Yes...because maybe my curiosity will one day bring your eyes to me. To truly look at me. When that day comes, the moon will hear about it and the stars will witness it. And the sun will be amazed by how easy it was for me to fall for you in each nights I see you. Yes...what I wouldn't do to get to that day!

...

Another week. Another night. Lisa placed the ready drinks on the tray absent-mindedly while humming to the interior's slow instrumentals. 

"You've been smiling a lot these days...I didn't wanna say anything but could it be that it's the late night walks back home with the star of the house?" 

She rolled her eyes. "You just never paid much attention before. I'm always smiling," She didn't want to admit that it's highly likely true. It's been 2 months since the night that had brought her the boy from the train - who just happened to be her crush! - and she's still walking on air. She didn't think her anticipation had any more room left to grow before, but it seems to proving her wrong.

"Come on, just hint it to me! Don't keep it to yourself, it's not healthy!" Bobby's whining made her snort.

"You just wanna gossip around. Unfortunately, you'll still get nothing from me. There's really nothing," A flicker of disappointment appeared in her chest as she said it, but it is what it is. All they've been doing is talking about their separate lives. 

"That's not what I heard..."

She ignored the rest when her phone buzzed from the back pocket of her jeans.

L.J. Leighton:
Miss Lalisa
As per your request
Reminding you that the meeting with the
boardmembers is at 8am tomorrow
Mr Harford will be ready at your gate by 7am
Have a good night and I'll see you at the lobby
tomorrow morning

She typed a quick 'thank you Luke' and placed it back in her pocket. 

"I have to go," She mumbled, placing the last glass on the shelf.

"Already?"

"I told you, I have something early in the morning so I'm leaving at eight,"

"You did? When??" Bobby ducked his head down to catch her eyes, while Lisa focused on wiping the next glass.

"Last night,"

"But Jungkook has another set -" She pursed her lips and it shuts Bobby up. 

After Bobby had left her side, she glanced over to the stage where Jungkook is talking with a girl. He seemed pre-occupied with her...should I tell him I'm leaving? I mean...it's not a compulsory report or anything but what if he waits later? Now they're laughing...maybe just a wave? 

...

Jungkook knew a lot about himself well by now, and one of it is that he's quite an introvert. He'd never make the first move on anything - only to subtly let himself in and hopes for the best outcome. The efforts he's ever made which relates to this were only about his studies, career, and Lisa. That's why he has no doubt that whoever's watching him closely right now could definitely tell how uncomfortable he is in his current situation.

"So, what are you doing after the place closes?" The girl's smile is flirtatious. 

He rubs the back of his neck, wishing that time would a little faster so he won't have to prolong this conversation. 

He was going to answer "Meeting my girlfriend" as he usually would, but Lisa suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

"Hi," She gave her usual warm smile but he only caught her eyes for a brief second. Jungkook got up from the edge of the small stage immediately, feeling nervous and embarrassed for some reason. 

"Hello," The girl beside him answered with a chirpy voice. "Do you want any drink? My treat!"

He watched Lisa blinked twice before looking down to her apron. "Oh, yeah, I was just -"

"My girlfriend!" Uh...well this is awkward. But it's my only chance to not cause any misunderstanding! She'd seen me with so many girls in here but that was before! "I mean...this is my girlfriend, Lisa. Baby..." He swallowed hard as he said it. "This is...Laura right? She was just saying I should send some demos out," 

Is his nerves showing in a form of broken glances between the two? Maybe. Palms sweating...knees shaking...don't look at her...don't look at her -

"Ahh...nice to meet you,"

When he looks up to Lisa, all he sees are smiles and blushes. I can't believe she went along with it! 

She leaned to whisper so close to him that he could breathe in her pretty scent. Jungkook can't even pay any attention to the other girl anymore at this point. "Anyway, I'm just here to tell you that I'm leaving early tonight," What, no, no - "Bobby's tending forward, so if you need anything after, just let him know okay?"

She's leaving? Can't I leave too? I'm sure Bobby will understand. It's supposed to be tonight! It needs to be tonight!

...

I'm okay...I'm fine...

Lisa told herself for the umpteenth time - trying to diminish her crazy thoughts and calm her blushing heart since Jungkook called her with the word 'girlfriend'. She's been telling herself that the guy probably did it to cover his own self or not wanting the attention from the giggly girl and her sparkly eyes so much, but somehow the little whispers still managed to seep through - wishing that they're living in this magical world where he would actually call her that. 

This doesn't look good...I really shouldn't keep doing this. 

She lets herself float on the pool's water, staring blankly up to the night sky and thought about how crazy and doomed she is to keep crushing on the guy. This isn't someone that you just pass by the streets everyday, exchanging the occasional smiles and 'heys'. She used to think of it that way before she found out that they had knew each other from back then.

No, it's not just that. Now they're friends with a history that seemed to have played a bigger part in their lives. He said meeting her on that train changed him. While she can't say the same, she had to agree that the same night had changed her. The positively cheerful girl was torn to pieces by a single accident. 

The loss...all those pretentious people and the bitter truth...it all came one after the other. She remembered thinking of that boy on the train and how lucky he was to be all alone. For a while after that night, all she wanted was to be left alone. She wanted nothing more than to disappear like her parents, but like her name, both hands and feet were bounded by such heavy chains that took longer than a while to be released.

Now look at me. All alone, just how I've wished to be. 

In nights like these, she'd often wonder how different her life would have turned out if her parents are still around. Lisa would come up with endless hypothesis of what else could have changed her to be this way. No longer the girl who's confident, bubbly and would never hold back from speaking her mind, now she's holding secrets of her own - wanting to appear as normal, slightly below average so no one would notice and take advantage of her naturally trusting personality. 

That girl on the train was so naive to just approach a stranger. Now I can't even look at anyone in the eyes for more than 5 seconds - pshh!

She took a deep breath before flipping herself underwater. There's a different type of silence down here, bringing her the kind of peace that made her want to cry. It's always good to swim whenever her heart feels a little heavy, she thought. No one will see the tears, not even herself. 

But unlike the usual 12 seconds of hearing nothing except for the air bubbles she made out, a faint splashing suddenly appeared. Her nerves grew as quick as the rise of that sound and before she knew it, a pair of hands wrapped themselves around her waist. Lisa caught a deep breath in panic and she tasted the chlorinated water before passing through her lungs. 

"Lisa!" 

She should recognize that voice by now, but the incident scared her to such a point that thoughts weren't able to process. Eyes tightly shut, she gulped a big lump of air and coughed hard as soon as her feet touched the pool tiles. On instinct, her hands pushed the person in front of her just as hard. 

"What the fuck - get away from me!"

"Lisa, it's me!" 

She wiped her eyes and coughed again. The taste of bitter water and strong chemicals almost made her vomit. 

"You're fine! Oh my God, you're fine! Oh thank God  -"

She looks back to the person and froze. Why is he here? How is he here?

Jungkook's face reflects a mix of shock and fear. His hands are held up across towards her - as if he's expecting to have her in his arms. From four feet away, Lisa wiped her eyes again to make sure she's not imagining this. 

"What are you..." Her breathing is ragged and still coupled with small coughs. "What are you doing here?"

"What am I - what are you doing??" Okay, now he just looks mad. Why is he the one who's mad??

"Me? I was swimming -"

"That wasn't swimming - fuck! I thought -" His anger is now channeled through his hands - splashing the water in front of him before brushing his palms across his hair. "You scared the shit out of me!"

"I scared you? You're the one who suddenly showed up in my pool - in my house!"

"Well you should've locked your gates if you didn't want anyone to come in unattended!"

Did I not lock the gates? Damn it - how could I forget to lock the gates?? "Regardless," She stuttered. "Do you just go around everyone's houses and check the gates? You don't just go into people's houses, Jungkook! Attended or not -" 

He looks up to the sky and sighs. "Wow..." One hand reached his chest, rubbing on it slightly as if he's trying to calm it down. "You know what...sorry. I just thought that something might've been wrong since Bobby said you lived alone. Sorry I cared to check,"

The frustration was evident and suddenly, Lisa's crushed with guilt. Did I scared him that much? He was just being concerned...and here I am, acting like a complete jerk! But he scared me to death - 

"Jungkook, wait!" She managed to breathe out just as he was about to leap up to the edge of the pool. When he turns back to her, she looks down to the water. "I um...I'm sorry," Seeing her own bare chest glimmering under the water brought her into full senses. Oh my God - Lisa quickly wrapped her arms around, covering across to her shoulders. 

I'm in the middle of the pool...in my swimsuit...with Jungkook staring at me! Can tonight be any worse?? She squeezed her eyes tightly and made a slight turn - hoping that her embarrassment would magically disappear - or maybe Jungkook would disappear. After a second or two, she heard another set of splash and she knew he had left the pool. 

"Here's your robe. I'll look away, don't worry,"

...

The smallest sounds kept ringing in his ears. Like the musical instruments he's familiar with, echoing as if he'd fallen slowly on never-ending stairs. It made him nervous, just as he's sitting beside her now. That was such a rush of adrenaline! 

The route to her house had been cheering for him - already familiar to his presence and intention. The gleaming heart was cut immediately when he rang the bell but found no answer. The guardhouse was empty but the gates were left slightly opened. To say that he was nervous upon walking in was an understatement. 

Walking cautiously up to her doorstep itself was already nerve-wracking. From the cobblestoned pathway, the house looked like a celebrity's mansion he'd seen in one of those tourists' flyers but the prospect of seeing Lisa blurred his chances of admiration. When he rang the doorbell and found no one again, he tried going around towards the side of the house - hoping to catch a glimpse of life inside. 

Instead he found himself standing still at a pool house. Nothing had prepared him for what he had seen. For the first time in Jungkook's life, he felt the rush of panic he'd never felt before when he saw a figure floating face down in the pool. It became more apparent as he got closer, that the figure was Lisa's. More than just scared for her life, he was scared for his! Fuck - I almost cried!! 

All things considered, yes, it was a misunderstanding. But he still wonders why on earth would she be floating lifelessly like that. She's staying alone...what if something happens? What if she gets cramps and there's no one around to help? Why is she alone in this big-ass house anyway? So many questions...and the silence as they sat side by side facing her swimming pool is becoming unbearable. Say something, Kook...just start saying something -

"Thank you...for sending this," She looks down to the new shirt, still wrapped in a see-through plastic. It was an excuse. He knew it was an excuse and he recalled thanking Bobby a hundred times for being so brilliant at coming up with this excuse! "He could've just give it to me next week when I come in," Yes, he could... "I'm sorry again...if I scared you,"

"Likewise," Internally, Jungkook is cursing at himself for not being able to say anything more. How could I - 

"So...girlfriend," There's humor in her voice as she recalled the earlier incident at the cafe so Jungkook braves himself to look up.

"I'm sorry. I just...I'm sorry," Not just about the 'cover-up', all the guilt and frustration is still there and he didn't know how to justify it. She must've been in shock too, to suddenly find someone in the pool with her. 

The sound of her first giggle broke the awkward silence. "Calm down. I'm not gonna report you or anything!" 

Well...lucky me! The last thing he wants is to be calling his parents from a prison all the way in California. Think of what mom would say...she'd curse me to hell and back! All this for a girl?? - I can already make out her tone -

"I mean...I don't even know who your girlfriend is!"

Huh? "I...but I don't have a girlfriend," Did she think I have...all this while -

"You don't? Oh -" She covered her gasps. "Did you...broke up??"

What?? "No, Lisa, I don't have a girlfriend. I never had a girlfriend since I came here,"

She gaped and he swore her cuteness level has upped to 200%!

...

He...doesn't? Then how come...why...or did I heard it wrongly? But all this while... "I thought I heard you...like in a lot of times -"

He muttered a soft 'ahh' and rubs the back of his neck, looking like he's caught in some shameful act. His attire is still wet - clinging to his biceps - and his hair is still damp. Lisa considers herself the luckiest person on earth right now to be seeing him like this. This is the closest to how Jeon Jungkook looks like after a shower - her heart did a double-flip at the thought. "I used it to um...it's sort of an excuse for um...to uhh..."

Oh, I see! "You said that to girls so they won't ask you out?" He nods shyly, keeping his gaze to the pool and she thought he looked cuter tonight. "Wow that fooled everyone! Why though? Are you allergic to girls making the first move or something?" She teased just to snap out of the idea that she might now stand a chance with him.

"No," He laughed. "I was just...not interested,"

Good looks. A charming front but really reserved underneath. Golden voice - "Are you like...not into girls in general?" 

He looked up and gaped. It made her nervous so she turned away. "Are you asking if I'm gay?"

"If it's a big deal to answer, you don't have to -"

"I'm not gay!" It's probably the first time he's ever looked offended...and sulky. Lisa knew she shouldn't laugh but his face is just too red for her guts to not act bothered! "I'm not!! I'm very interested in girls! It's just one girl -"

"Okay, okay - you don't have to be defensive, Jungkook!" She ended up hugging her stomach in order to not die from laughter. "I mean...if you are, it's okay too,"

"I told you I'm not!"

"It was just a question, it's not a big deal -"

She noticed his heavy sigh from the corner of her eyes and she almost laugh again if it wasn't because his face had suddenly appeared just inches away from hers. "I could just prove it to you now, and it will most definitely be a big deal,"

Had her heart stopped working? Maybe it skipped. Because Lisa's sure as hell she's hearing the beating pounding harder and louder! 

"Why won't you look at me?" The soft whisper sounded like a pleading. Okay, my bad - maybe it's gotten a little too personal -

"Okay, you can stop now, Jungkook. I believe you -" She lets out a small, nervous laugh - so different than what she's feeling inside. First he calls me 'baby', now this. Isn't this too much excitement for one night?

"I'm serious. I've been waiting for you to look at me and I'm thinking...for eight months I kept thinking...why would you look at the boy but not at me? Am I not deserving of it now?"

"What do you mean? I do look -" She looks down to her fidgeting fingers.

"I saw you walking alone that evening...staring down to the ground or at the streets. You paid no attention to the life around you and until now, I kept wondering what it was but something must've fooled me into believing that it was you. After all these years that I stayed hoping - wishing that one day I'll get to meet that girl on the train again. I wanna thank her. I wanna repay her. I wanna give her back the jumper...the iPod...and so much more,"

"I didn't want you to repay me, Jungkook," 

"I wanna talk to her, get to know her. And maybe, just maybe, she'd let me see her again and again. We'd get to know each other better and I hope she'd find that I'm not so bad. That I'm not as lost as that young boy anymore. If she doesn't mind it, maybe I get to share what she made out of me. And maybe she'd smile to me, just like she did back then. And then I saw you. And it brought me back...I thought of how beautiful she looked the last time I saw her, and how beautiful she is now,"

Her lips quivered, trying hard to come up with words. Beautiful words that could have complimented him back - how she sees him. It's probably not as poetic as how he sounded so all she could say was, "I'm not as how you painted me to be,"

"I see you - night after night, I see you walking drunk to the cafe. Believe me, I'm not picturing a saint, Lisa,"

Her eyes blurred with formed tears and on instinct, she turns to look at him. I'm the girl he talked about? The girl he stayed for...it was me? His jaw clenched and she could see the sharp line emphasizing his feature. The beautiful face she's been admiring from a far, all too quiet and all too long, is now inches away from her. Not bothered to counting down the seconds that passed, she already knew it'll be the longest contact she'd ever held onto in what felt like ages.

"If I had known that those words would make you look at me, I'd have said it earlier than this," He smirked and it made her chuckle.

"I always look at you. I just..." Come on...just say it! "I just do it when you're not looking,"

His lips curved up in a warm smile. "Please...keep looking at me this way. I really miss it," His palm reached her cheek and the warmth made her shudder.

This feels like a dream. A dream I don't wanna wake up on. But could it be that the one he's longing for is a different person? "Jungkook...I'm not that girl anymore," She closed her eyes and quickly wiped away the tears that fell along. "I'm just not -" 

For years, Lisa had cried by herself. She thought she had mastered it - controlling her sad and fearful emotions so no one's able to see it. Keep smiling...keep laughing...those were the only things she had in common with the fifteen year old girl. If she can't find it to smile or laugh, she'd just keep the indifference around but she'd never cry. Yet now that she's started, she can't seem to stop. 

"You said it before...that it's okay to cry it out. Whether you wanna talk about it or keep it to yourself, that's okay too. Just cry it out and re-do you, right?" She felt the soft brush on her hair and she wondered again if it could ever be possible. The advice seems childish now, but a part of her wants so much to believe it. "Just...don't go around physically hurting anyone,"

That made her giggle so she threw a soft slap across his shoulder and he laughed along too. 

"See, I knew someone who had the same laugh so technically, you're halfway there! And I mean...I can't go out with a fifteen-year-old anyway, so who gives a shit about that girl anymore?"

"Stoppp," She held on to her stomach, suppressing the urge to laugh even harder. 

"She did gifted me an iPod though...a poor boy's very first iPod. Did I tell you I went back running and when I got to my neighborhood, I held the thing up and shouted 'who has an iPod cus I do'! I swear - I got so excited that I wanted a club of my own! Just me and all the kids who owns their very first iPod. For months, I kept listening to your rap playlist - we gotta talk about your taste in music cus those cussings...damn, you scared me,"

She wasn't sure if the following tears were from her insecurities or his jokes but one thing's for sure, it kept on pouring and she can't stop laughing!

"Let's re-do this now," Jungkook got up all too sudden and held a hand out to her. 

Still clearing her teary face, she sighed, "What are you doing?"

He didn't say anything, only exchanging his glances between her and his hand - convincing her to take it. When she does, he pulls her up swiftly to stand. Still smiling in her own frown, he said,

"Hello Lisa. I've been wanting to tell you that I think you're beautiful...I've been wanting to say that for a long time. I've been trying to talk to you, get to know you. I hope you can spare me more words than just the drinks that I want at the end of the night...and maybe more than just a 'goodnight'. And I definitely wanna ask you out cus I feel like twice a week hasn't been enough," He laughed down shyly, just as she did. 

"Whenever you're free, of course. Maybe you'd find me trustworthy enough that you can be as honest as you want, because I really wanna keep listening to you, getting to know you...if you don't mind," The consistent shake in Jungkook's voice made Lisa realize that he was just as nervous as her. 

She looks down to the spaces between their feet. Droplets of pool water had colored the pavement into darker shades of brown. There are thousands of reasons screaming in her mind and it took her longer than a minute to hush them down. Mustering her courage with a deep breath and fearful heart, she wets her lips before taking one step forward. There...now we're a foot apart. The start is always the hardest, right? 

Shifting on her feet, she braves herself to look up into his eyes. "I have trust issues...and I might not be able to tell you everything overnight. But if you can be patient, I can try to do better,"

He stares at her like his soul have known her for years. "We...we'll do better," Jungkook beamed, inching towards her but still giving enough space for her to give some sort of sign. 

"Lalisa. That's the name I would've told you,"

When her smile grew, his hand reaches up to her neck and his lips closes on hers. She felt the butterflies in her stomach roaming crazily as she returned the kiss. It's the first time she's ever felt this way in a kiss. For a second there, she almost forgot exactly how long she had been crushing on the guy. She forgot if she had ever imagined how it would feel like to be kissed by the guy. All she could think of at this second is how perfect it is to be in this moment.

...

On their fifteenth date, it was Lisa's turn to decide. It should've been called their seventeenth date since it took 3 days to get to where they are now! High meadows with soft-flowing wildflowers - a golden field, as she'd call it. It wasn't quite the same as the picture he'd seen before but she remembers the 'golden' part and for that itself, he's already blessed.

He'd take this over most of what she had suggested before - especially their sixth date where she brought him to a drag show! Give and take - it's his way to earn her trust. He didn't want to control and call all the shots - something that he sensed could push her away. It always feels good to see her having fun. Some days she almost seemed as that fifteen-year-old girl again. 

He knew she's been trying hard to open herself up more and more. In some of their late-night walks and pillow-talks, she even cried. There were many times when he wished things could've been different. That he should have asked for her name and personal details back then so he could be in her life in all those hard times - leaping up to rescue her in the wounded aftermath. But the past is the past, there's nothing they could do to change it. He would still wonder of the same thing, over and over whenever he stares at her face.

I can't believe this soft heart with her beautiful, kind eyes have fought brutal battles. 

"I got this around ten months ago," She brushed the soft strands of her newly cut, shoulder-length hair to the side - revealing the scar he wondered before. "Promise you won't judge me if I tell you this," With her head resting on his thigh, her big, round eyes looks up to him with a little fear.

"You've seen me scream like a child over a microwave - we're all deeply flawed, baby,"

He's still not over the sound of her giggles. That makes him feel good too - to be able to make her laugh. When she's done, she began playing with the ends of her hair - humming incoherent sounds as if she's figuring out her sentences. This is new, he thought. She would fidget before, but not like this.

"When I got here...it took some time for me to adjust. That new-found freedom...I didn't know what to do with it. A lot of issues with dad's will...a lot of people wanting a piece or two. I realized a lot about my relatives then. I kept wishing that they'd all go away and I couldn't wait for that day when they do. But when everything's settled,  a part of me still feels angry. Burnt-out, I guess. After a while, I felt numb...and I guess I've been too easy in my search to feel something,"

He listens attentively, throwing his gaze far out from where they've laid the blankets. She mentioned the first time that she couldn't speak properly with his eyes on her, so he needs to do well.

"I tried a lot of things...bad things...with not-so-nice people. It was the only thing that kept me feeling alive back then. I knew I felt lonely. I knew I wanted love...I just didn't know what kind. So I went along with the men I chose, thinking they'd narrow it down for me - show me if I really do want this or that. At one point, I had a thought - like...maybe I should stop. But the same evening, I met this guy,"

Jungkook took a deep breath to prepare himself for what's to come. She never spoke about any 'love interest' before, so he's not sure what to expect and how jealous he'd get. 

"Jordan. That's his name. He was the worst among all,"

"Did you love him?" It came out in a rush and he cursed himself internally for being so impatient. She giggled and he's not sure if he should be annoyed or thankful.

"This is not a story of love, bunny,"

It's... "It's not?" Oh, thank God! He could've sworn he felt the blood rising to his cheek!

"No...it's a story of how I got this scar,"

And the blood's rising again. "He did this to you?"

"It was his way to threaten me...cus I was rude to him. He called me a wasteland so I called him a sorry excuse of a man-whore. He grabbed a scissor and almost stabbed me with it. He can't follow-through though...he likes the way I look at him too much," She sighed a laugh. "He cried when he saw the blood,"

How...how can she laugh about this?? Who the fuck is this guy - how dare he touch her that way, that fucker Jordan!! He better not show up ever again in this life time - I'll fucking call mom from jail if it comes down to that! There's so much anger in him and Jungkook doesn't know what to do with it. "How um...how did you look at him?" Do I wanna know this - do I really wanna fucking know this?!

"I don't know exactly how he sees it. But I remember feeling so much hate...disgusts - not just at him - at everyone, really. Including myself,"

"Is that why you couldn't look at me before?" 

"I guess it was a turning point. It wasn't just you...I told you this," Her palm reaches up to his cheek. That's their love-language, he decided. At times when words are not enough, all they can count on is by a simple touch...or just by being at each other's sides. "I feel dirty...ashamed. I feel like people will be able to read me easily and they'll know the many ways I tried to dig my own grave, despite the privilege that I have. It makes me feel incapable...fragile...and I get tired easily of it so I'm always afraid that I'll make another mistake,"

Jungkook had written 4 new songs since they started dating, and they're all about her. All the words he felt but couldn't quite say it out loud without the fear of her cringing over them, he's put them onto paper. And as much as these words in his mind now are screaming to be written down, he knew he had to say it out loud.

"Lalisa," He looks down to her. "First of all, no matter what, your worth can never be measured by those hands that have touched or hurt you. They were never about you. You said you were lost...and that you crossed out every day in your calendar drawing mistakes," He grabs both of her palms and rested them on each sides of her cheeks. "But all I heard was how you fought for the person you wanted to live as. I know that little girl in you would applaud for who you have become. Your parents would be smiling, knowing how much you've grown...and you should smile a lot too,"

...

A good kind of chaos, that's what days with Jungkook brought her. Tingles in her chest sends shivers on her skin every time his eyes are on her. Lisa is now confident on the kind of love she wants. A love that finds her when it's ready. Love will come to understand her depth and silence. It'll reciprocate honesty and patience. Love will miss her within fifteen minutes and chase after her for the next 7 years. That's the kind of love Jungkook has shown her.

Every minute she spent with him has been wonderfully amazing. They talked a lot, teased often, and bicker a few. He's not the boy on the train who seemed so lost and moody anymore, he'd grown to be a wise and gentle man with a knack when it comes to beautiful words to make her feel safe. He would spend minutes observing her eyes though - just like that young boy - looking as though he's lost in them. And just like that -

"You're like the eighth wonder of the world. Of course you'd win," The gasps made her blush but the blink made her jump up with joy.

"You're too good with words...now how am I supposed to believe anything you say?" She slowly backs away, smiling cheekily.

The slight raise of his eyebrows made her heart giddy with excitement. "You shouldn't run from me that fast. You'll fall,"

 She giggled and ran further. When she felt a hand touching her shoulder, she squeaked and laughed - the happiest sound she had ever let out in years. With heartbeat running as fast as her feet, she turned to find Jungkook sighing a smile, 5 feet away from her.

"Your sleeve..." He looks down to the swaying meadows, nervously brushing his hair backwards. 

Lisa looks to her right shoulder - baring the glow of her skin under the evening sky. Holding the fallen white sleeve, she looks at him again and smiled teasingly. They held hands...they've hugged and kissed. He would make her laugh after a cry, only for her to find him silently teary as he watch her fall asleep. The respect and care he has for her is undeniably attractive, complimenting his beautiful soul and handsome face. The eighth wonder here is how he managed to hold up, really!

"Don't..." He laughs when she pulled the sleeve slightly further down. "Please don't do this to me,"

"What do you mean?" She pouts her lips and heard the slight gasp.

Still with a smile and blushing cheeks, he shook his head to the ground. "This is cheating,"

"Whoa whoa...that's quite an accusation you got there! It's your fault anyway,"

"It was accidental - you were running -"

"Fix it then," She pretends to sulk, walking slowly towards him. He's not smiling, and his stare held something different...darker. Tall grass swifts the song of warm breeze, and Lisa suddenly found the confidence she had missed since the final attack. I just hope my other scars won't scare him...please don't scare him...

"Lalisa," She only had to tip-toe a little to plant a soft kiss on his neck. He would always call for her full name when shit gets a little bit serious. "You're doing things to me,"

The sharp intake of breath makes her giggle shyly. They've agreed to take things slow...getting to know each other and see where it goes. In his words, if she likes what he's presented and in hers, if the sparks stay loud. Well, I think it's pretty obvious what the answer is, right?

...

The End.

P/S: I made this cus I feel bad for being so late in updates hehehe. There's a full story for it (and with longer ending - you know my style!) but I might have to revisit a few parts. It's a little deep but I hope you enjoy reading it :)