The whole explanation behind this one may seem dumb to you all but this is how I personally feel.

Back then, I used to have an Instagram and I would post some selfies on it. People would comment, saying, "Aw, you look cute." And I'd be flattered. Others would be like, "Omg can I just have you? You're adorable." And I'm like, haha, you're funny. I think I remember one guy even asking me if I could be his Valentine. I agreed, being the polite little bean I was.

So, here's where things get kinda sour.

There was this guy who had followed me for a while. He drew a lot of really nice art and so we started up a conversation. One thing led to another and we talked on Kik for a while. One thing led to another (again) and I started dating him. (Stupid, I know. To this day, I refuse to date anyone online.)

He was a nice guy. Cracked a few jokes. Told me interesting stories. Sang to me because he was a good singer. Always flattered me with compliments. He would group chat with me and my friends, who liked him too since he was pretty cool.

Was.

Eventually, there came a point where he, like some other fuck-boys out there, wanted (dun dun dunnnnn) nudes. I refused persistently. That night, it was utter hell, because you know what he had the audacity to do?? Threaten to cut up his wrists if I didn't send anything. Despite that he would hurt himself, despite how compassionate I am, I am not stupid. I didn't send any and the guy had the nerve to send me pictures of what he did to himself.

Mmmm-hmmmmm.

So, anyway, aside from that, he began constantly trying to get too flirty with me and he would threaten his life again. It was then that I decided, okay I'm not taking this BS anymore. I'm breaking up with him.

And, I did.

But then, I got back together with him like thE LITTLE SHIT I WAS. FUCK YOU, ME.

Anyway.

I think I did it more out of pity because apparently he got hospitalized for trying to take his own life. (Dumb ass). His "mother" messaged me via through his phone and told me everything and basically blamed me for it.

Fuck you, mother of the guy who was a dick.

Got back together with him afterwards. He fucked up again. I'm pretty sure he lied about the whole hospitalized thing just so I could come back. Broke up with him, this time without any second thought. Just plain savage "we're done".

And, we were this time.

bUT THEN, I remember one time I was shopping with my mom at Target (and this was special because we were kinda bonding and at that time, we had some sort of drift) and you know what happened??

This bitch decided to text me in the middle of picking out bras and I recognize his number, even after so long. He was like "Hi? Who is this?"

And I said, "You know who this is."

"Alex?"

"Good bye."

"Hey, wait..."

And he went on about how he wanted me back.

Haha--fuck no.

You know what I told that bastard?? In these exact words, I told him this:

"You're a fucking pig and deserved to be slaughtered like one."

Ahh, yes, Eternal-senpai was very savage when angered. Still am.

That was the last time we ever talked and I was sooOOOO glad.

And then, the bitch decided to date my best friend Alexis and basically did the same shit to her, asking for nudes, threatening himself. Only, she ended it quicker and was a lot less effected by it. She's #thug.

Anyway, why did this have any relevance to my choice to not show my face??

Ahh, yes, because I don't want to have to go through anything like that ever again. I don't want thirsty guys, or girls, coming to me, being all...thirsty. It's not that I don't trust my followers on Insta, believe me, you all are great. I love you guys.

But, it's just...idk.

This probably doesn't make any sense. It probably sounds stupid. And it probably is. (Omg why did I even do this. No, pls, me, stop it. StoooooOOOP. )

Plus, I'm a bit iffy about how I look. And, I want to keep an air of mystery to my identity. I go as far as to hide my voice. I let it slip out here and there but they're not fully audible phrases.

AND, I don't want people following me just for how I look. I don't want people basing anything off of my physical features. I would much rather be recognized for my work and my personality, rather than my looks.

Again, it sounds stupid, but that's my mentality.

But, I've thought about the subject for a while. Even Alexis has said I should show my face, to which I reply "eeeeeeehhhhhh." She tells me "Your followers would love to see you!" No, I'm okay. Thenks.

This may excite some of you, or upset you all, or you probably just won't care. I've been thinking about possibly revealing my face once I hit a certain milestone on Wattpad. Like, say, 5M on Killer Protector, or 900K reads on Cruel & Blue, or even a bigger follower count. Mainly KP, since that milestone may or may not be coming soon. But, again, this is only a possibility. It's not legit yet. So don't go spamming KP with reads and votes or whatever.

So, yeah, that's why I'm iffy about showing my face. I'm not saying I look like a goddess or anything (I'm really not) but, idk. The only validation that I have that I'm not a complete troll is when Alexis, Arianna, and sometimes my parents tell me I'm pretty. Other than that, no one tells me shit.

I also wanna thank the person on Insta that said that I'll probably look like Beyoncé. Thank you, really, but..

No one can come close to Beyoncé's perfection. Her beauty is literally the work of the gods.

Anyway, feel free to let me know what you guys think of this. If it's dumb, try not to bash on me too hard. All of this is valid to me, sooo.

Hope you had a great day.~

bYE.