*still screaming from last time*

---

Ao: Alright class, who's this? *holds up a picture of Barack Obama*

Jeff: Jesus?

Ao: No, but let's try this again. Who's this? *holds up a picture of Reese*

Ben: My daddy

Ao: Ayyeeeee~

---

Ben: My dick just died

Reese: .........it died?

Ben: Yeah, can I bury it in your ass??

---

Hunter: Who are you texting?

Reese: oh I have a date tonight

Hunter: Oh yeah..?

Hunter: Who's the lucky guy??? hAAHA

Reese: -_-

---

-If Jeff & Ellie have a kid-

Smol child: What are you doing by the dumpster, Uncle Ben??

Ben: Not smoking crack.

Smol child: I didn't ask if you were smoking crack.

Ben: ......nah, I am smoking crack

---

Anxiety: heeey, I'm anxiety.

Ellie: Oh um hey. What are you doing here?

Anxiety: just here to fuck up your whole day, brah

---

Ben: I don't understand why I'm being fired.

Employer: I told you to send me the blueprints.

Ben: I did that!

Employee: What the hell is this?! *points to a picture of a blue Prince*

Ben: You said--oohhh...

---

Ao, quietly: Jack, can I yell at you...?

Jack: ...having cramps again?

Ao: yeah

Jack: Okay.

Ao, screaming: JACK, I SERIOUSLY TELL YOU--!!!!!

---

Zalgo: *tries to open a bag of chips quietly at a funeral*

---

Ben: *on the phone* Ao, help me.

Ao: What's up?

Ben: Um..*mumbles something*

Ao: What??

Ben: My dick is stuck in a pringles can.

Ao, urgently: What flavor?

Ben: Sour cream and onion

---

Reese: Just a coupla dudes being guys

Ben: A coupla guys being dudes

Reese: A coupla dudes being gay

Ben: Show me your dick, Reese--

---

-Teaching Ben How To Pray-

Ao: Just please, do this right

Ben: okay.

Ao: *puts hands together* Our Father

Ben: Our Daddy

Ao: Go. Get out.

Ben: oh my god what??

---

Hunter: Hey, Reese, did you do your essay?

Reese: *mexican accent* What? No, man, I didn't do my esse. I-I-I ain't gay. Fool. Like..

---

Ao: Your word is 'thot'.

Reese: Can you give that in a sentence, please?

Ao: 'That thot be going around giving everyone a slice of her pu-nany.'

---

Ben: Hi, my name is Ben, with a U.

Reese: There's no U in Ben.

Ben: Well, there could be a Ben in you, if you play your cards right.

Reese: Wow, that was pretty good, actually.

---

Ben: I don't know what's going on in Breath of the Wild, but apparently Link is fucking a shark, so like--

---

Ao: I may over-think, BUT I also over-love

---

Jeff: Wait, you like me? For my personality?

Death: I know, I was surprised too

---

Ellie: I'm a screamer.

Ellie: Not sexually, just life in general

---

Reese: *recording* Hey, everybody, uh, Reese here, just wanted to take a moment to introduce you all to my dad. Here he is.

Reese: *shows an empty chair* He's not that much of a talker.

---

(All From @AlaskaTheWriter)

KP Series characters as things my friends and I have said/done.

Jeff: It's not illegal if you don't get caught.

•••

Ellie: is your shirt covered in blood?

•••

Jack: *does a backflip* I am not extra!

•••

Ao: That is not how you do long division!

•••

Reese: ¿Eres un hombre?

Ben: I don't speak Mexican!

•••

Death: I'm gay. Gay. Gay. Soooo gay.

Everybody: WE KNOW.

---

(From @AlaskaTheWriter)

Reese: How high are you?

Ben: 5'3"

---

Jeff: What if the g in gif is silent?

Death: Go the fuck to sleep

Jeff: what gif I don't want to?

Death: fuck you

---

Ben: we're up all night to get l

Toby: axitives for this horrible diarrhea

Jeff: if you're about to take laxatives for diarrhea then I've got news for you comrade

---

Ben: what if Cinderella was a baking slave instead of a cleaning slave and her name was Mozzarella?

Reese: don't ever text me again

---

Ben: What are your kinks??

Jack: This is kinda out there but... love and support from people who love me as much as I love them.

Ben: Corny. Anyways, I wanna be choked.

---

Ao: Your skin is so smooth. How do you do it??

Ellie: Oh, well I find that crying for a long period of time is a very effective moisturizer.

---

Hunter: It sure is muggy outside today.

Reese: If I go outside and all of our mugs are on the lawn, I'm leaving this family.

Hunter: *nervously sips coffee from a bowl*

---

Ben As a Lawyer

Ben: my client is trapped inside a penny

Judge: what?

Ben: he's in a cent

Judge: you're going to jail with him

---

Teacher: You are what you read.

Ao: *sweats nervously thinking about all the gay fanfics*

---

Reese: Ben, I think you should just not text me at night anymore

Ben: Aw why :(

Reese: This is why *shows Ben his messages*

Ben: Oh